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Thread: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

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    Veteran Member NakedNicole's Avatar
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    Default Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    So the other night at a clean stripclub that I work at, a married customer kept hinting at the fact that he only would go to the champagne room with me if I did certain things.

    I found myself getting slightly annoyed with his pushy questions about extras. I then just flat out asked him.
    "So it's clear what you're looking for, so why come to the stripclub? Why not just hire an escort to come see you at your hotel?"

    He seemed baffled by my question. He said "well, because I feel like I know you and I like you. I wouldn't want some random girl I've never actually met showing up at my hotel." He felt like hiring an escort was way too impersonal...sort of just like ordering a pizza to your place.

    I figured he wasn't going to spend any money on me so I left him to talk to other customers. About 20 minutes later the guy comes and finds me and says he decided he wanted to do a champagne room with me. We go upstairs to our room. About 10 minutes into the room he starts bitching me out about how he spent $600 and I'm only dancing blah blah blah. I told him I never promised anything else and that I would not tolerate his attitude.

    He finally calms down and I change the subject. I ask him how married life is. He goes on to say how wonderful, and beautiful his wife is. He honestly could say nothing bad about his wife or relationship. He was like, "yea I'm just here because I'm on business and I'm bored." I just think it's funny because if he was only concerned with being entertained, he shouldn't have gotten so upset about the fact I wouldn't do any sexual extras.

    I've personally have never escorted, but I wanted to share this story with those who do so you might be able to understand the mental block some guys have about hiring an escort when that's clearly what they want but don't want to admit.

    My suggestions to those who escort would be:

    1. Include a video of you introducing yourself and make the viewer feel like they sort have already met you. (This applies if you have an online ad that has video display abilities.)

    2. If you use backpage consider posting under the stripper catagory aswell. Then you'll get the guys who want to pretend they only want a stripper when they know good and well they really want more. (I know this because I advertised for stripper parties before under the stripper section and still mostly got guys looking for an escort who might also do a strip tease in the process.)

    3. Free style. If you live in a vacation destination area or place with lots of bars etc, you could always just walk around and mingle with guys and close the deal in person.

    4. Some guys like to drink before cheating on their wives etc so that's why they go to the club instead of just getting an escort from the start. Maybe in your ad offer to bring beverages of your clients choice, or mention that you are also available to accompany them out for a night on the town if they like.

    5. Make business cards. Make friends with some cab drivers and bartenders and give them a kick back for every appointment you get from them being your sales reps and handing out your cards to guys they peg as potential prospects.

    I could have this all completely wrong. I just thought I'd share my thoughts on this because after working in the club for awhile, I've learned there's quite a large number of shy guys who are in denial about their true desires.

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    Veteran Member red.velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Every mid range (which you're probably thinking of as high end) escort has a bio on her site and includes her personal interests. Bio and photos portray personality (which is usually fake anyway), and that is partially how girls are chosen to be booked. That is pretty typical. That is why Playboy and men's magazines had those little "get to know you" articles next to girl's pictures.

    Posting in a stripper section will get you a lot of timewasters and guys who want you to perform sexual acts in front of a large group of them. Like bachelor parties. That is not exactly discreet, and the environment is completely different than something intimate as a one on one meeting. I honestly wouldn't find that safe unless you went with multiple girls because they will likely be drunk and gang up on you together in a rude and bossy type of way, which is typical with bachelor parties.

    Escorts often have dinner dates that are multi hour and include alcohol. That's pretty standard. Girls tier their pricing per hour to reflect how long of a meeting they would ideally have. Many prefer 1-2 hour meetings, others prefer multihour with dinner and drinks.

    Business cards are a grey area and I think could lead to an arrest or at least a lot of time wasters. The point of advertising is that it is done on discreet sites where only the men seeking it out will find it. You don't want to advertise this kind of thing to the everyday person. Women will find it in their man's coat pocket and try to sabotage you for revenge, and timewasters will book you and turn you away at the time of appointment because they were never serious. That is very risky. Unless you are advertising something that isn't adult, but then you won't really get business. Maybe a topless maid service if it is within the legalities of your area and you have your small business license to cover you? That's about all I could see making sense because it is adult without being explicit or illegal. "Dirty talk" alone can get you arrested, and the business card could be taken as such depending on what it says and what you say over the phone.

    Those are my thoughts, by someone who does escort and has done every kind of adult work under the sun except porn.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Nicole, I'm in the same boat as your customer (except for the wife part). I need to feel some kind of connection (real or imagined). Hooking up with an escort I've never met just feels like masturbation with someone else in the room. But I'm also not interested in hooking up with strippers ITC or OTC either. The SC environment is fun, but it's a fantasy with no real connections being made. I'd much rather do a full night of dinner, theater or dancing and a second appointment for hooking up if the first night goes well.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Thanks for your input Red Velvet, You made alot of good points I hadn't considered.

    I've just seen those type of customers so often in the stripclub, I wanted to think of ways to improve it where these guys would find what they actually want in the first place, and escorts could get more business from the guys who are too intimidated with the idea of calling an escort directly.
    I guess confused customers are somthing the industry will just have to live with.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Also as one of the guys have mentioned here before, they are scared of undercover police posing as escorts as well as providing their personal data for escort screening. For them getting "entertained" at a strip club that is very permissive in their minds is safer legally than hiring an escort.

    It does suck but thats the state of affairs in many areas right now and the way many guys think.

    I do think you have a good point about mingling in person #3 and #4. From what I understand there are places like casinos for example where guys can grab some drinks and mingle with ladies who both can provide what the other is looking for.
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    From a customer/client point of view, I think you've hit on some really good insights. I do think there's lots of reasons guys choose strip club extras or escorts or both, and at least for me and the guys I know, a few of the factors are:

    - Psychologically, extras in a strip club is barely even cheating. Easy to rationalize that you just went to a strip club, and extras happened unto you. There's no rationalizing or pretending with an escort: you set up the appointment in advance, you went there for the sole purpose of sex. It might not make sense to providers, but it is a HUGE line-in-the-sand psychologically for many customers. For me and every guy I know, it was a big step going from strip clubs to escorts, AMPs, bodyrubs, etc. Strip club customers can still claim that Denial is a river in Egypt

    - Some guys just like the overall strip club extras experience better. I'm solidly in that group (although I rarely do extras ITC anymore, preferring making connections ITC and keeping extras OTC). Many of us love being in strip clubs, love the social aspects, love seeing lots of girls, love doing warm-up lapdances with a few girls first, etc. No matter how what an escort does, it's SCs that we truly love. Course, best of both worlds, I've taken bodyrub girls to the strip club before we went back to her place for the bodyrub ... that's a pretty awesome service.

    - With an escort, no matter what her pictures look like, it's always a thrilling surprise to see what she looks like when she opens the door. With strippers, the gorgeous sexy stripper at my table, is exactly the same person coming to the VIP with me, she's not going to suddenly look 15 years older and 30 pounds heavier when we get to the VIP booth. I like your idea of videos for escorts, because it's harder to "lie with videos" than it is to lie with pictures ... at least for escorts who are willing to put their face on camera.

    - For someone who loves strip clubs, the "socialize beforehand" service for an escort isn't quite the same thing. Escorts usually charge these services at fully hourly price, or close to it. So an hour of socializing plus an hour of fun might cost $300+$300 = $600, or close to it... the economics are a lot different than a strip club extras seeker who spends the same 2 hours at the strip club but has a much much smaller total payout -- and has not committed himself to anything beforehand.

    Anyway, just giving some insights into the way I think about it...

    3. Free style. If you live in a vacation destination area or place with lots of bars etc, you could always just walk around and mingle with guys and close the deal in person.
    This would work incredibly well for me. If it feels kind of organic, I get to socialize a little with her and make sure I"m really attracted to her first ... "crossing the line" or not, this is an approach that would get me buying. I have no idea whether it's a good business model from the other side, though.
    Last edited by Radius; 01-22-2016 at 12:13 PM.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Haven't read the other replies, but there's a fair amount of stigma attached to being a John as well as an escort..getting it in the club makes them feel like " it doesn't count" as hiring a hooker. They also feel it's mich safer in terms of not getting arrested or legal repercussions.
    The aspect of being more personal and exclusive , especially if it's a regular.
    And finally they like the lower-pressure " getting to know you and having a connection first" aspect of the club setting vs the down-to-business pay by the hour escort services.

    honestly there are guys who like getting it from escorts and those who try finding it in the club and they are just different kinds of clientele with different needs

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    I can see where you're coming from, and what the customer rationalization is, but here are some of my issues:

    1. Include a video of you introducing yourself and make the viewer feel like they sort have already met you. (This applies if you have an online ad that has video display abilities.)

    Many escorts don't show their whole faces, and for good reason. Doing a video with it cut off at the face might not be a bad idea, but you can also achieve the same effect with a well-written intro page. The intro page to my site is pretty lengthy and I've had many clients say they contacted me because it made them feel warm and welcome. If you're not willing to put your face up on the internet, I don't see how a video without face would feel much more personal than a well-written site. But it might be a little something extra that's different.

    2. If you use backpage consider posting under the stripper catagory aswell. Then you'll get the guys who want to pretend they only want a stripper when they know good and well they really want more. (I know this because I advertised for stripper parties before under the stripper section and still mostly got guys looking for an escort who might also do a strip tease in the process.)

    I feel like guys who go on backpage for stripper services are not going to be the same demographic as guys who are willing to pay $300+/hr for an escort. The "stripper service" around here (and by that I mean they advertise "strippers," but everyone expects a low-rate escort) run for $90/hr; I charge $350. Interesting idea, but I don't think it's the same demographic.

    3. Free style. If you live in a vacation destination area or place with lots of bars etc, you could always just walk around and mingle with guys and close the deal in person.

    There are certainly escorts who do this. Not everyone is comfortable with trying to hustle random strangers in person. You can't pre-screen in any way, and it can be a hard-push type of hustle if you get a guy who doesn't quite realize he's dealing with a prostitute and not a hot woman who "really" likes him until you've invested a lot of time. It can also be annoying to have to "haggle" over prices, which is something you don't have to deal with if you get clients off the internet who can see your prices clearly listed and set in stone and have already decided it's worth it to contact you. This hustle still exists in a lot of places, but it's not for everyone.

    4. Some guys like to drink before cheating on their wives etc so that's why they go to the club instead of just getting an escort from the start. Maybe in your ad offer to bring beverages of your clients choice, or mention that you are also available to accompany them out for a night on the town if they like.

    A lot of good escorts already do this - have beverages at incall or be open to grabbing a drink or having dinner beforehand. Like someone mentioned above though, we expect to be compensated for that time. Some clients are cool with that, some think it's a "ripoff."

    5. Make business cards. Make friends with some cab drivers and bartenders and give them a kick back for every appointment you get from them being your sales reps and handing out your cards to guys they peg as potential prospects.

    This could have bad legal ramifications. It's not very discreet. And who knows what type of guys some cab driver or bartender is going to send your way if all they care about is that they'll get a kickback from each guy?

    All in all, these aren't terrible suggestions, but there is more to think about with the ramifications of advertising for prostitution, in a country where it's illegal, than stripping. And a lot of it is also personal preference. I prefer escorting to dancing these days precisely because I don't want to have to hustle in person, give anyone a cut of my money, or "negotiate" with guys who don't make it clear when they first contact me that they understand what I do and don't offer and for what price.

    I think there will always be men who want that "extra" layer of intimacy that they won't get through that type of interaction, so they'll keep trying their luck at clubs, but there will also be plenty of men who want the no-strings hassle of a professional escort and, if they look for high-quality escorts, know that they can find one they click with just as well for conversation and intimacy. I can make plenty of money off that demographic without stressing out and/or trying to weed through timewasters.

    No matter what I do, I guess I'm just never going to be the girl that gives guys the thrill of "will I or won't close this deal/does she like me enough yet to do more with me?" because in the end, I'm still clearly an escort. If that's what they're after... well, there's not much I can do to make hiring me more appealing than trying to win over their favorite stripper. I already go out of my way to make my website and ads welcoming, keep in touch via email and text (if they're ok with that) even if they're not currently booking an appointment, and I even meet up for lunch or dinner sometimes with really good regulars "off the clock." Men can get a more intimate experience out of me, but if they don't believe that's possible or have the psychological hangup about how it's "worse" to hire an escort than have sex with a stripper, and not even looking at escorts, or are just trying to get more bang for their buck and not pay my type of prices while I'm on the clock... well, I guess we'll never cross paths then lol
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 01-22-2016 at 03:43 PM.
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Thank you for all for your input. Its very interesting to hear escorts and customers thoughts on this. I never considered that men rationalize sex at a stripclub as somehow being more nobel than sex at a hotel with an escort. Men always ask about sex frequently in the club and they just assume that dancers offer sexual services as well, so I had always figured that men must see no difference between escorts and dancers. I guess that's the key though, that somehow they can find some weird way to justify illegal activities if they take place in the club. Or maybe they get some sort of thrill out of trying to "flip" a dancer into an escort and they feel special because she did more but she wasn't an "escort" so obviously that just makes the guy feel oh so special that he talked her into negotiating something extra just for him.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedNicole View Post
    men must see no difference between escorts and dancers.
    I bet if we took a massive poll, there would be a very large number of people men and women who think dancers are escorts / prostitutes. Simply because a portion of them really are. So the generalizations kick in. If one or two or three of them do it then they must all do it.
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedNicole View Post
    Thank you for all for your input. Its very interesting to hear escorts and customers thoughts on this. I never considered that men rationalize sex at a stripclub as somehow being more nobel than sex at a hotel with an escort.
    Just to be clear, that's definitely a big part of it for some guys... but definitely not the whole story. For example, now that I've crossed the line into the "here be dragons" part of the map, where the escorts are, I still personally prefer sex with strippers, and it's not even close, and the "it doesn't really count" rationalization has no bearing on my preference at all. But, sometimes escort clients and strip club customers have entirely different ways to account for value. Here is a conversation I've had with my friends, that I've seen replayed countless time on client boards:

    Escort client: You strip club customers are insane. I pay $350 for an entire hour with an escort, in a comfortable hotel room instead of a cramped not-so-private little booth. You paid, what, $300 for 15 minutes? Are you ignorant or just stupid?

    Strip club customer: Well, let's correct a couple of little things: you paid $350 for 45 minutes with that escort, after showering before and after is accounted for. Also, we both know that when you book an escort whose pics are hot, you're lucky if she looks even as close as good in real life. My stripper was gorgeous at the table, and still gorgeous in the VIP. But more importantly, I don't know where you're getting 15 minutes ... From the time I got to the club, I spent a ton of time at the tip rail, then a bunch of time getting some lap dances, then I picked out my stripper and spent a bunch of time with her on the floor. I was at the club for two and half hours, I loved every second of it, and by the time I got to the VIP I was a insanely hot. So you paid $350 for 45 minutes with an escort whose looks were a crapshoot; I paid $300 for two and a half hours of incredible fun, including stage tips and lap dances and drinks, with exactly the gorgeous stripper who tripped my trigger, including 15 minutes of fun at the end.

    ---
    So really, I'm convinced many escort and SC extras customers don't even account for value and price the same way... the escort guys I know only put value on the time they're having sex; Strip club customers tend to love the entire experience from beginning to end, and wouldn't give up any of it. When you switch to comparing OTC with escorts, it becomes even more lopsided for me.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    This topic has been discussed to death in a bunch of threads.
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    I don't see how any escort who values her safety and discretion would be okay with any of those things mentioned.




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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    What a great thread - so many different viewpoints, all of them sincere and legitimate. I challenge anyone to find one escort forum where people talk this honestly and respectfully from both sides of the coin. Thanks to the strippers, cam girls, escorts; and women and guys who burn the trolls, haters and insecure broke losers off this forum.
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Luckyguy09, you make a good point about the courting process playing a factor. Just last night I was speaking to a gentelman who claimed to be in the military. We proceed to do 4 dances before he asked me "so how much would it cost for you to be with me for the night?" I rolled my eyes and said " I don't think the military would approve of you soliciting prostitution."
    He was like, "huh prostitution? That's not prostitution." I asked him to explain the definition. In mid sentence he realized that it was infact prostitution he was seeking even though he wanted to sugar coat it, it is what it is.
    He promptly paid me for the dances and left.

    I personally have no problem with prostitution, I guess I just find it aggravating that customers keep requesting a service that I don't provide or will only spend money if they think there's hope that I might do something that they shouldn't even be seeking out in the club in the first place.

    It's sort of like owning an Italian restaurant and having someone come in and wanting mexican food. That's just not what my restaurant serves. You shouldn't come in and sit in my Italian restaurant and eat the free breadsticks and then not spend what you would have been willing to spend if I had been a Mexican restaurant.

    (I hope that analogy made sense)

    I use to always straight up tell customers that absolutely nothing illegal would happen thinking I would be rewarded for my honesty. Nope.

    Now I won't directly promise anything, I just start of dance around the question and say vague things and my money has gone up.

    There's still the guys who won't spend money unless you explicitly spell out what will "happen". I typically just walk away from these guys.

    I've always thought I should just flat out lie to the guys and tell them whatever they want to hear and then not deliver. In a way I feel like that's my way of getting justice and teaching them a lesson for asking for something they shouldn't have in the club. 95% of the customers are all on vacation and I know I would never have to see them again.
    The only reason why I haven't pulled this is because I hate confrontation and really don't want a customer to get mad at me when I actually did break a direct promise.

    I mean there's a big sign in the champagne room that says "no matter what anyone says, there is no sex in the champagne room. " So i mean, I guess I could always be like "welp, you shouldn't have trusted me." (Points at sign)

    Sort of the same concept of someone having the audacity to insult my Italian restraunt by expecting me to cater to their non Italian tastes. Instead of ordering what's on my menu and being happy, they say "I will only purchase something if you will make me a burrito." To show them their rude etiquette won't be tolerated, I say "yea sure I'll make you a burrito." And then I bring them out lasagna and tell them to suck it.

    It might not be your idea of a burrito, but considering were in an Italian restaurant, that's the only kind of "burrito" you're going to get.

    I haven't decided if I should go with the straight up bait and switch approach. I would never lead with that. It would only be if a guy was like, "oh I will only do a champagne room if you do XYZ".

    A week back a guy asked about sex, I said no. He then asked if we went to the champagne room if I'd give him a handjob. I told him "I'll give you my version of a "handjob"
    He didn't question what that ment. I always massage customers hands. So we go up there, I do a few dances and then start massaging his hands. I wink and sarcastically ask if he is enjoying his "handjob". He didn't seem too upset.

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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedNicole View Post
    A week back a guy asked about sex, I said no. He then asked if we went to the champagne room if I'd give him a handjob. I told him "I'll give you my version of a "handjob" He didn't question what that ment. I always massage customers hands. So we go up there, I do a few dances and then start massaging his hands. I wink and sarcastically ask if he is enjoying his "handjob". He didn't seem too upset.
    LOL! Thats clever. Good thing he didn't get mad. But he kind of brought that on himself.

    Quote Originally Posted by Radius View Post
    So you paid $350 for 45 minutes with an escort whose looks were a crapshoot; I paid $300 for two and a half hours of incredible fun, including stage tips and lap dances and drinks, with exactly the gorgeous stripper who tripped my trigger, including 15 minutes of fun at the end.
    Do looks really matter that much to men anyway? They'll still fuck and cum whether the woman is 3,4,5 in looks or a 10. And these economics are not good for the women. The escort would make $300+ for the service while the very permissive "stripper" will make $150 or less for the same service. Not good.

    And I am curious how hard is it to find the lady who trips your trigger and/or what percentage of the dancers in the club would you say are very permissive?
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 01-24-2016 at 09:37 PM.
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    For me its a mix of I'm seen/met the Stripper or MPA, I don't care for feeling like I'm going in blind, especially at Escort Prices.

    The other half is location. I'm not in a good location to have an escort visit me, and I don't drive, so I take the Bus, and of I don't know EXACTLY where I'm going (aka a stable location where I can plan the route) then its a nightmare for me, so I fuck it and go with an MPA or Contact Dancer.

  32. #18
    Senior Member AnoniCat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    It seems like the guys who actively patron the club for girls who'll do extras are the type who: don't want to admit they're paying for it, are afraid of law enforcement and or are looking for the best "value for their buck". Many of the escort hobbyists also fall into the latter category. For them, the experience is soley sexual, often short in duration (half-hour special), and a lot of value is placed upon looks and specific sexual acts performed. Which seems to be why many of these men are very concerned about the girl looking like her picture. They're also interested in what they can expect to get, in terms of sexual activity, should they book the apt.

    Whereas, other clients who seek midrange and up escorts and even sugar babies are into spending quality nonsexual time in addition to any sexual activity that takes place. Looks matter, but other factors like being able to hold a conversation, charm, wit and in general make the guy feel special are important to the overall experience.

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  34. #19
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Bullet points I've discovered after years of dancing and escorting-

    * The chief perk to asking a dancer for more is getting your kicks with a girl who fits your personal preference (since strip clubs are all about looks/visual stimulation.)

    * A lot of people in general assume any affordable escort is a pimped out disease bearing trainwreck who will lift a wallet (tragically I've actually seen this stereotype in reality)...so asking a dancer for sex is more appealing than risking STIs, theft or drama.

    * For guys with issues, they might resent the escorts "another day another dollar" attitude about appointments. They lack insight to understand the escort's point of view. Since the strip club customer has already built up a persona for the dancer he knows, he views it as a virtual relationship.

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  36. #20
    Veteran Member Blue_Dust_Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Quote Originally Posted by Bahuba View Post
    What a great thread - so many different viewpoints, all of them sincere and legitimate. I challenge anyone to find one escort forum where people talk this honestly and respectfully from both sides of the coin. Thanks to the strippers, cam girls, escorts; and women and guys who burn the trolls, haters and insecure broke losers off this forum.
    Very true! I'm on ECCIE, and surprisingly StripperWeb is still the best place for escort discourse and discussion. I think its also because escort-specific places really, really,really focus on advertising, whereas StripperWeb has always been about conversation.

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  38. #21
    Veteran Member Blue_Dust_Bunny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why not just hire an escort? (Finally figured it out)

    Quote Originally Posted by NakedNicole View Post

    I haven't decided if I should go with the straight up bait and switch approach. I would never lead with that. It would only be if a guy was like, "oh I will only do a champagne room if you do XYZ".

    A week back a guy asked about sex, I said no. He then asked if we went to the champagne room if I'd give him a handjob. I told him "I'll give you my version of a "handjob"
    He didn't question what that ment. I always massage customers hands. So we go up there, I do a few dances and then start massaging his hands. I wink and sarcastically ask if he is enjoying his "handjob". He didn't seem too upset.
    oooh, be careful though. If you accidentally are sitting down with an undercover officer or agent, you can get charged just for agreeing to terms of prostitution.



    I also feel like a lot of guys that go into strip clubs and go through all that work simply enjoy the thrill of the chase. They aren't really planning to commit and they aren't really going to be that upset if they can't close the deal with any dancer - or at least that is the vibe I get. Like, just asking and playing this whole cat and mouse game is exciting and entertaining enough from them as it is, so I feel like, it doesn't matter what you tell them? The same with the dudes who have absolutely no money and go into the club - like, I feel like psychologically they are getting their kicks simply from testing their limits and playing this role, even if nothing happens

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