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Thread: First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

  1. #1
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    Default First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

    Well for my first ever shift, which was a day shift the monday after the blizzard I made $280! I would believe that that is pretty good for all those factors going against me. It was must more draining than I thought and the 3 people that even up going up stairs with me wanted to touch me inappropriately, kiss my lips, suck on my tits. It was draining to get them off and felt dirty. Is every lap dance really like that ? Aren't ANY of the men respectful?

    I'm also having a little trouble working the new girl status without seeming like I can be taken advantage of or it keeps me from selling because they don't think I am going to be any good. Any tips ?

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  3. #2
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    Default Re: First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

    Tell them beforehand there is no contact. You can specify: touch my thighs, arms; don't touch me; you can touch me just not with your mouth; you can touch anywhere but my pussy. It's up to you. Also, there are laws which regulate what you can and cannot do -- know them. But foremost, gain a healthy attitude about sex work. Not every guy is going to be that way, but they may. Understand it from a guys perspective -- they are paying you amounts of many that in normal terms takes some time to earn. If you feel like you are drained and it's dirty, revisit the idea of other forms of work. Coping with this industry via drugs, alcohol, and destructive behaviors is something that dancers easily turn towards... And on a personal level I think everyone has their own reasons for that, but it really can be someone's demise.
    Anyway, yes you are new. That's not a negative thing, and no people are not taking advantage of you because of that. They are just men and they adore and love women and really want to envelope a dance with all their senses. It's primal.

    Set boundaries
    Be firm -- telling them not to do something will not work if they do that exact thing and have no consequences
    Get money upfront -- say ok, you need to pay me before I can get started
    Smile, enjoy and love yourself. Your body is a temple and it's your to share with whom you choose. If you're proud of who you are and have a good sense of self, shit will roll off your shoulders a bit more easily and you won't second guess walking the fuck out.

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    Default Re: First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

    To counterbalance to perviness, I would reiterate what RiotGrriTease has said about getting your money first--THEN tell them your boundaries. Once you have their money, they'll either behave, or you can walk away.

    One more note, and I'm not criticizing you, but getting guys off should not be your main goal. You want to start slowly, and build up the dance to a crescendo--start lightly, then get more into it. He should be made to feel like he MIGHT be able to "get off" just before your time with him ends, thereby hopefully extending your dance into another or a VIP.

    And yes, men will be respectful, as long as you let them know you're not putting up with their shit. If you feel like you're attracting lesser quality types, then try NOT telling people you're new right off the bat, just to see what happens. Or you could say "Oh, I'm not new to dancing, just new to this club." But then, they might try to say "Oh, but boob licking is normal HERE..." Yeah don't fall for that shit.

    Best of luck.
    "There shall be one mistress here, and no master."

    [Elizabeth I]

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    Default Re: First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

    If you're feeling dirty and trying to get them off, then they'll treat you like you're dirty. I'm not sure what your lap dances entailed, but a customer should never get off during a dance. I would argue that they shouldn't even get close to it, but I know that varies by club and dancer.

    You're supposed to be a tease. If your pussy and tits aren't within reach, they can't touch or suck. Dancing defensively helps avoid you having to be firm about your boundaries -- but you have to be firm about them internally at least. Figure out the club rules and norms, your local bylaws, and what you're personally comfortable with. Then, stick with it. You are the only person who is going to look out for you and your boundaries in the club, so you best become a strong advocate for yourself or else customers will continue to push for more. There are respectful customers, though it does depend on the club how widespread they are, but in most cases, you have to demand that respect. Operate under the assumption that if they sense they might be able to get away with something, they'll do it.

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    Default Re: First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

    Thanks so much ! It's a prepaid club so I don't even deal why he money unless tipped extra. Tomorrow is my second day and I will definitely be firmer I think it was just overwhelming the first day.

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    God/dess shanna dior's Avatar
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    Default Re: First day was the Monday after the jonas storm

    ^Totally understandable! Setting and asserting your boundaries is hard, especially when you're new because it's not always clear what the rules are, you might see other dancers breaking some rules without getting in trouble, and it's not unusual for customers to try and take advantage of you being new to tell you that x is allowed or all the girls let them do y.

    Just remember that, regardless of the rules, if you don't want to do something, you don't have to. You have the right to tell someone no, to stop, or to simply end the dance and extract yourself from a situation that makes you uncomfortable. Too many dancers treat themselves as employees and feel they have to do anything up to what's not actually allowed or else they'll get in trouble or not make any money, but you're the one in charge of your body.

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