It's been about a year since I stopped dancing, and it's been rough. I'm almost 30, and I have no idea what I want to do for a career other than play poker. The idea of going to work 40+ hours per week to be ordered around every day and help some random business/corporation owner make profit makes me incredibly depressed. I think I'm just so used to the freedom that comes with dancing that I can't stand the idea of someone telling me what to do. For now, I've been doing atmosphere modeling jobs, but even then, I only work every other week or so because I'm unwilling to accept pay rates below a certain amount. Recently, I had an interview (for an atmosphere modeling job) cancelled, received a low rating by the client on one of my jobs, and got fired from another, because I developed a bit of an attitude in response to being treated disrespectfully by the client (or booking agent, in the case of the interview). I should add that my job performance was otherwise outstanding. Before I started dancing, I would've just stayed quiet and allowed others to mistreat me and others in the interest of keeping the peace (and my job). Now, it's like I can't help but say something whenever I see an injustice........but I don't know if that's a good thing. At this point, I'm sure that the obvious advice would be, well, just make a career out of playing poker then. Which is great, except that in order to do that I need to have a lot of money saved up for a bankroll first, and......(see above section about not working much lately).
Also (and I don't know how to say this without sounding conceited, though I certainly don't mean it that way), when I book jobs, I often tend to be more intelligent and competent than the people in charge......which sometimes leads them to resent me, no matter how hard I try to be friendly and helpful. I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but whenever that happens I always kinda feel like a little kid who got rejected trying to make friends on the playground.That really has nothing to do with dancing, but it's a large part of the reason I got fired from my last booking, so it's fresh in my mind and still bothering me.
Idk what to do. I know this probably sounds so whiny, like I just need to slap myself, suck it up, keep my mouth shut and work for less $$. I'm not really expecting advice I guess (although if you have some.......please be nice), I mostly just wanted to vent. I've been feeling really depressed over all this lately, like I'm a failure at life or something.



That really has nothing to do with dancing, but it's a large part of the reason I got fired from my last booking, so it's fresh in my mind and still bothering me.
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