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Thread: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

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    Default Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    So I have a normal vanilla job and I did the odd bit of cam work here and there.

    I think my Co worker has seen me on a cam site and is now sharing it round the office!!

    I heard him making jibes about can girls/porn earlier and everyone else keeps laughing at me and looking at me strange!

    I honestly don't know what to do I'm absolutely mortified!

    Plus they could be still viewing things as I've seen pics and vids of me when I searched my user name.

    I'm feeling so down and I could cry, also im very worried my manager will get heat of this and sack me anyway.

    I don't know what to do!!

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Get onto the co worker who found you out. rip him a new one for being on the site in the first place. if they have a problem with what you do and want to mock you for it, then wtf are they doing on those site?? turn it back on him/her. If all else fails act like they are discriminating against you because of your private sexual preferences (i know its just a job and your actual sexuality is not tied into anything you've done for work, but outside people don't seem to get that so use it against them).

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    So they can't sack me for it???

    That's what I'm mostly bothered about. No one has actually said anything directly to me that's the thing they keep saying things very similar. He said earlier 'ooh did you like that nurses outfit' and in one of my vids I was wearing a nurses outfit xx

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Do you work for a large company? Is there a HR person you can talk to?

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    And the co worker who knows is very much in to porn and he's not bothered who knows it. So if I started taking the piss it wouldn't bother him x

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    No it's quite a small company but there is a managing director I can talk to bit he's a guy too so be very embarrassing x

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    The company could sack you if it has rules about second jobs. If you can argue that it is your sexual preference - that you don't date and this is how you express yourself sexually - then you might have a valid case.

    I was discovered by a coworker and had to resign as i worked in public service and there were very clear and strict rules - although again, the colleague who saw me shouldn't have been in the club in the first place and HE didn't get any comeback for it, but meh. Lesson learned. It is a risk that comes with the job and one of the reasons i've never cammed - at least in the club i can see who comes through the door and there is no photographic evidence.

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Gosh! To be honest I don't really want to stay there now any way! I'm absolutely mortified! I just want to leave and never go back but I can't because I need the money and a reference!

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    This would be considered sexual harassment in the work environment. I'm not sure about the exact rules for your area of the world but in my country, this is grounds for dismissal for the guy for harassing you and making you feel uncomfortable. He is making the workplace unsafe and distracting others from doing their work. Definitely get in touch with an employment lawyer and get vindictive on that guys ass. You tell him that you've contacted a lawyer and tell him you can ruin his life if he doesn't shut up and apologize. How dare he do this to you!

    In your shoes, I would deny, deny, deny and make it look like he's the crazy one for thinking it's you. It could just be a girl that looks very similar to you. Then threaten him with the lawyer and good legalese and see him beg for mercy. What a fucking goddamn piece of shit he is, not even good enough for composting.
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Be direct and unashamed, either with him or with other coworkers one-on-one. If he does know and is making comments like this that are actually about you, he's doing it because he thinks he can bully you and hold power over you with it - and it's working.

    You'd be surprised how quickly bullies back down when you either confront them privately and just ask them (non-bitchily) what's going on, or look people in the eyes, ask what's so funny, and then behave totally normally. It's no fun to pick on someone who doesn't give a shit. And most people, when confronted directly, will even realize and be embarrassed by how childish they're acting and will ashamedly stop.

    I know "easier said than done," but as long as you keep hiding your face and running away from their jabs, they're going to continue to gang up and find it "funny" to hold this over your head. I'm sorry this happened, and I know the ideal is to keep adult work a secret forever, but if that doesn't happen as planned, the next best thing you can do is just own your past. No one else can use it against you that way.
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Quote Originally Posted by hyori View Post
    This would be considered sexual harassment in the work environment. I'm not sure about the exact rules for your area of the world but in my country, this is grounds for dismissal for the guy for harassing you and making you feel uncomfortable. He is making the workplace unsafe and distracting others from doing their work. Definitely get in touch with an employment lawyer and get vindictive on that guys ass. You tell him that you've contacted a lawyer and tell him you can ruin his life if he doesn't shut up and apologize. How dare he do this to you!

    In your shoes, I would deny, deny, deny and make it look like he's the crazy one for thinking it's you. It could just be a girl that looks very similar to you. Then threaten him with the lawyer and good legalese and see him beg for mercy. What a fucking goddamn piece of shit he is, not even good enough for composting.
    This is what I was going to say. I would look into the laws of your State and consult a lawyer- usually sexual harassment is when you feel uncomfortable or unsafe at work because of sexual advances and innuendo. He should not be talking about porn at all. It is completely inappropriate. Noone will know you spoke with the lawyer unless you decide to sure them. And, they can not fire you for suing them because that's against whisleblower rules.
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    OP, I would play this as "it's not me, it must be someone who looks like me...and WTF are you doing talking about PORN in the WORKPLACE?" He shouldn't even be discussing that at all!

    I worked with a girl who had an ex-SIL that looked *exactly* like me. She even showed me pictures on FB-she looked like my identical twin, but I had never even met her, and there was no way we were related. So it *is* possible for look-a-likes to happen.

    But I agree with everyone else, he's a POS for doing this to you and putting you through it. Don't let him bully you!
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    I don't know if I can really deny it because my pictures are on the internet. As I said in my earlier post no one has said anything directly too me they just keep making jibes abs if I say something to him then won't that be admitting it is me?

    I'm in absolute bits I can't even face going to work tomorrow im taking a day off sick.

    Also someone said earlier they could sack me for having 2 jobs but I only did camming a few times and the most I made was about £100. I didn't do it all the time so could it still be classed as a second job?

    I've got home and I feel so ashamed and I'm crying my eyes out!

    Sorry to depress you all and thank you for your responses it means so much right now xx

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    No ! They can't fire you. Camming is a legal job. What he is doing is harassing you. Start documenting the harassment ASAP by writing each each incident down.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fairydust87 View Post
    So they can't sack me for it???

    That's what I'm mostly bothered about. No one has actually said anything directly to me that's the thing they keep saying things very similar. He said earlier 'ooh did you like that nurses outfit' and in one of my vids I was wearing a nurses outfit xx

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    ^ Your solid documentation may be needed by you or management later so start now with the dates and what happened .

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    I wouldn't confirm or deny it's you. I'd just make it CLEAR that you WON'T tolerate being harassed at work. If you have an HR department, ask them for a copy of the company's sexual harassment policy to review.

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    I was thinking of taking some time off sick. I can't cope with the stress of it all. And to think he's shown everyone pictures etc is so embarrassing!

    I need an action plan... Any ideas? I'm thinking maybe take a week off then see does it get better? And if it carries on to document everything? I'm so upset right now

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    We don't have Hr department as such. We just have one managing director who is the boss of us all. He is a man!! But I have a copy of my contract in my draw.

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Don't take time off. Contact an attorney!! You shouldn't lose money because of him. What state are you in? ant me to find a lawyer for you? He is spreading pornographic photos around the workplace!?!! He is the one who needs to take off from work. Permanently!
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    I'm in England babe. I need the time off babe I'm so stressed. What's an attorney? Over here at have like a place what deals with work place disputes and bullying and grievances so I have contacted them.

    Today was awful I can't go through another today.

    Should I be ashamed?

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Whoa whoa whoa, I know you're going into freakout mode, and of course the chances of your old videos being found out is there, but you don't even 100% know for sure yet if this guy was talking about you. He's an out-and-proud pervert - he could just be making stupid comments in general. Heck, you could show up tomorrow and nobody's even talking about camgirls and porn stars anymore because it wasn't even about that. If they are, why not just go to your manager tomorrow and say "So-and-so has been talking a lot, and loudly, about porn lately and it's making for a very distracting work environment and making me uncomfortable." That's a perfectly acceptable thing to bring to your manager's attention without it turning into some "revealing your cam past to a male boss" type of conversation.

    Sure, document things and have a backup plan, but honestly, jumping from zero to "hide away for a week and then call a lawyer if it doesn't just stop after that" is skipping a bunch of options for dealing with things way less dramatically. And by hiding out for a week, all you'll do is confirm their suspicions if they really are talking about you, and then it's just gonna get worse because you acted guilty and ashamed.

    If you can't just say "Yeah, so what?" then casually ask someone what they're all talking about the next time the jokes starts. Act clueless. If someone breaks down and shows you a pic or video and/or asks if it's you, act shocked: "Omg, she looks exactly like me! That's sooo weird! Hey, maybe I shoulda been a porn star if I knew my look could pull it off - hahahaha" If dude gets more aggressive instead of backing off and moving on, repeat complaint to manager. Only if things don't get better after that would I consider pulling out the legal stuff and/or jumping ship from this company. Try to resolve it quietly and calmly first. Things rarely need to get as dramatic as our freaked-out minds jump to as soon as something starts to go wrong.
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Okay that makes sense but one question, what if my boss already knows and brings it up himself? What the hell am I going to say then? Also today has been horrendous I've been very quite and ashamed sat at my desk and someone said'what's up, you look fed up?' I said I just didn't feel well to which she gave me a smug smile.

    I know they know! I just know it.

    I feel like I at least need a day or two just for a break and figure out what I'm gonna do, no? I'm not joking I'm not eating because of it, I've not stopped crying since I got home.

    As I was leaving one of the women said a very smug cya.

    I know they know, whether they've seen pictures is a different thing I'm just praying they haven't.

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    As a fellow Brit, i can appreciate what you're going through. Now i know more about it i can give you some advice from a professional point of view (i actually had some input into the legislation that covers this so trust me, ok?)

    Option 1: brazen it out with the lookalike story - although it could be too late for that if you've already reacted and shown a guilty discomfort - might be handy for any next time though.

    Option 2: Take the advice people have given here of bringing it up with your boss. Tell him you know this is awkward but you're feeling sexually harassed by all of the talk about porn and innuendo aimed at you. Go with dates and names to show that you've been keeping a record and tell him that it constitutes harassment under the Equality Act 2010 (this is defined as 'unwanted conduct related to a person's sex causes a distressing, humiliating or offensive environment for that person') . There are guidelines that your employer must follow http://www.acas.org.uk/media/pdf/o/l...it-happens.pdf

    IF you were to bring a case to employment tribunal then you would need to do so within 3 months of the end of the incident. If it is ongoing then you must first give your employer a chance to rectify the situation (this includes preventing any victimisation against you for raising the matter in the first place - if you are victimised that too is grounds for you to take the matter further) - if they do not and connected ongoing behaviour that continues to make the situation distressing for you occurs then you a tribunal would class it as ongoing harassment, you do not have to wait for it to end to bring a claim.

    There is a fee for bringing a case but don't let your employer know that this would stop you (and it shouldn't) from bringing a case.

    All of this will make things awkward and it's likely you'll need to find a new job anyway (to be honest, your boss is likely to just site you a big check and give you a non-disclosure agreement to go away). When it happened to me, i got out of there without having to take it to tribunal. Instead, by the time i'd finished I got a glowing reference and a new job with a different company. The asshole who started it kept his job but fuck him, he was always going to be a dick. It was a lesson though and you're going to have to think about your approach to camming in the future.

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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Is there any way to get your pictures removed?

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    Member Fairydust87's Avatar
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    Default Re: Co worker knows I'm cam girl...

    Can I ask what exactly happened to you Spartaca?

    Thank you so much for all your advice.

    In am ideal world I'd just like for the harassment to stop and I'd get a new job without going down any tribunal route.

    The thing is is that he's not saying these things directly to me - but they are aimed at me, and I've not fessed up or said anything!

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