^^^ Again, there are ways to have a threesome with two people involved not being attracted to each other. I've done it numerous times. It just makes it a different experience than what people generally think of when they hear "MFF threesome."




^^^ Again, there are ways to have a threesome with two people involved not being attracted to each other. I've done it numerous times. It just makes it a different experience than what people generally think of when they hear "MFF threesome."
"Do you do tech support in exclusive?"
Don't call me BB...I'm not the prime minister of Israel!


Bambibabe, I think your question is a very personal one and probably best to address with your boyfriend. Just be honest with him about how you feel insecure and that you are more straight/heteroflexible than really bi. Also, if you want monogamy now/always you will want to let him know to see if he's on the same page with you or not.
I think that guys who willingly date escorts are often under the impression that a sex worker will be more willing to experiment with non-monogamy (threesomes, swinging etc.) but this is often not the case. You might want to make clear what kind of relationship will make you happy. There's also lots of room for healthy consensual sexual experimentation within a monogamous relationship.
Thanks so much guys. I'm going to talk about it with him next week. I'll update you all on it! I have faith it will go well. He's a truly good guy.





Threesomes are a lot of work & usually awkward for everyone involved. Tell him that he has to find the 3rd party... men are lazy, going out & convincing someone to fuck them but a 2nd person to is much harder than they think.
o
In general, men want the female to hunt down the other girl & talk her into it. While he gets to sit back & enjoy them doing all the work for him. 90% of the guys just want to talk about it & that is enough for them, putting in the work to get a 3rd is more than they want to do.
Now, I did have an ex who loved the thought of them. Several times would come home to him presenting me with another female. Would take her into the bathroom & chat, none of them were into females but willing to do it for him. Made me laugh, as if I would do something like that just for him. So talked them into flirting with me, getting him all worked up & then laugh in his face. AS IF!
Fact is, we don't owe anyone anything sexually. Great sex & connection is mutual, the moment it isn't then resentment begins & thus puts the love at risk.
Now, I do recommend wearing a wig so different in hair color & style, changing up make up & outfits to make it seem as if he is doirng it with a different woman. Get all dressed up, text him to meet you at a bar. Surprise him with this role playing. It will still be you, but look like another.



I'm sure if he had any idea that you didn't want a threesome that he wouldn't want you to do something you didn't want to do. Otherwise he'll be able to tell you're not enjoying yourself and you'll just end up resenting him after. You can't expect him to know what you're thinking if you haven't been honest and let him know what you want
I've never posted before but have to tell you with experience-threesomes are not all they are hyped up to be. I've had two in the past and I was glad when they were over. Although for the other people involved I guess they were fun. It didn't feel intimate and as pretty as the other girl was, I just wasn't into sex with a woman. However I find women attractive. Fantasies can feel very different in real life than they do in our imagination.
A few years ago, I was dating a guy and initially thought the idea of a threesome was sexy, because it would please him. But once I fell in love, the idea turned my stomach. I asked him how he would feel watching me fuck another guy, he said he would kill him. So, that was the end of the threesome talk.





You should never feel obligated to have sex with anyone.


This is the argument the moralist and control crowd use to keep sex work illegal. Something that you don't want to do, but voluntarily do anyway, is not the same as rape. To say otherwise is to say that women don't have agency, and that women need protection from being asked to do things. Most people do jobs they don't want to do, people do labor that is dangerous, gets them killed, gets them hurt, causes nerve damage, causes time away from home, destroys relationships, and might be tough emotionally, etc. etc. I sure am disappointed to see a sex worker use the oppressive language of the control freaks.
On topic, "Despite my feelings of apprehension and jealousy, I think it would be unfair to deny him that all things considering."
Don't let you career color your thoughts. There is nothing unfair about not crossing boundaries that most of society observes. You were, or may be again, a sex worker. But your mind and spirit are speaking to you because women understand relationships. There are many open, swinger, and other type relationships that succeed happily. But going down that roads means you have to do all the work associated with those type of relationships - and that relationship work has nothing to do with your former work. Sex and relationships are complicated. For some people sex is needed, but it is not among the most important pillars of a relationship. Other people feel sex is the backbone of their relationship. Jealousy destroys some people even though nobody is unfaithful, some people even see jealousy as a kind of virtue, synonymous with "I love you, see how possessive i am?" Others see jealousy as a problem emotion, like anger, that doesn't have a place.
All that to say I think your issue is not a one time 'do we have a threesome'. You and I know sex can be compartmentalized. That's not the issue. The issue is what kind of relationship do you have, what are your boundaries, what are his boundaries, how do you both deal with emotions of your relationship having additional sex partners, can those sex partners just be sex partners, what are the pillars of your relationship, what is the long term plan for these exploits, what are the rules, etc. In other words, having an understanding and communication whether you decide to do it or not. But you both have to understand that its about your relationship and not sex, sex work is compartmentalized, is that compartmentalization something to be invited into your own relationship bedroom?
I'm not speaking for or against as I've seen so many types of relationships and explored many of them myself. I just don't believe you go down roads without seeing that they take you someplace different. Your relationship won't be where it is now, it'll be somewhere else.
What? I know I'm conservative, but just say no





Try telling him MAYBE, but you have to find a guy you really like. That might quiet him down.


You are only obligated to yourself




I'm assuming you have an open relationship with your boyfriend, since you were escorting while you were with him. So why not tell him that a threesome isn't for you, but that it's fine for him to seek out that experience on his own?
And I'm echoing everyone else who says you shouldn't do anything you don't want to do.




Thanks Ginger I really appreciate that. I hesitate on direct advice (do this/do that) and try bend towards giving information. I hope she starts from a place of recognizing her own equality and agency in the relationship that is not in the least diminished by her sex work. My heart went out with that struggle of her feeling like something is 'owed' or that her agency is different because she'd been a sex worker. Her BF's needs are no more important than her needs. Beyond that we all deserve a partner that has our backs, so communication and a long view is never bad advice.
This has to do with a large amount of trust and respect to allow another person into the bedroom and you either can or cannot do it. It sounds like he is mentioning you being attracted to woman in hopes of having a sudden change of heart however, this is a decision that is rightfully yours.
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