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Thread: How to deal with overbearing mother?

  1. #1
    Senior Member FayeValentine's Avatar
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    Default How to deal with overbearing mother?

    I'm recently unemployed. Which is what drove me to start camming and it's been the best decision ever. My mother is constantly checking to see if I found a job though. She sends me job listings every day, offering to buy me a landline for customer service jobs (I've always worked from home). That's all sweet of her, but I'm enjoying being in adult entertainment. Can't tell her that of course. I should mention that I'm 23 and she's done everything for me, up until December when I got my first place with my boyfriend. She's still paying some of my bills, and wanted to do my taxes before I reminded her that I should probably learn how to do that myself. She's so protective of me because I'm her only child that left home (my sisters are severely autistic) and I have a myriad of health problems myself. I mean, I get it. The bf makes min. wage and we lived off my income. So in her mind, bills are coming with nobody able to pay them. I just need to figure out how reassure her that I'm okay without telling her how. And how can I get her to fork over those bills and give me access to my loan account so I can start paying off these student loans?

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    God/dess minniesoporno's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    well until you are completely standing on your own she will still be there haggling you and finding jobs for you.

    You dont' have to tell her you are camming but you will need to basically tell her you can handle all your bills and you got it covered it and you don't need her finding you job listing because you have a source of income.

    Your mother will always be protective of you but you need to put your foot down its the only way it will work she won't change until you do.
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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Politely but firmly tell her just that........you are okay and can pay your own bills now. You don't need to be spoon fed and are ready to handle the responsibility but if in the future you need help you will ask her. Remind her to focus on your sisters who really need her time and attention more than you.

    Do not let her do your taxes, etc just say you appreciate the offer but no thanks.

    If she asks what you do just say you have a full time online sales job (or some other vague yet similar job). So this way you're not exactly lying to her you're just stretching the truth.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Set boundaries! People behave badly when you don't. This goes for all relationships.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.




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    Senior Member FayeValentine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Politely but firmly tell her just that........you are okay and can pay your own bills now. You don't need to be spoon fed and are ready to handle the responsibility but if in the future you need help you will ask her. Remind her to focus on your sisters who really need her time and attention more than you.

    Do not let her do your taxes, etc just say you appreciate the offer but no thanks.

    If she asks what you do just say you have a full time online sales job (or some other vague yet similar job). So this way you're not exactly lying to her you're just stretching the truth.
    I actually tried coming up with a job for a company that's similar to my previous job. It kinda backfired on me because it turns out my mom works for them in another position and asked for the link because she wants to switch. Luckily I found a real listing for the company. She's 10 years in the work from home business so I have to be careful with what I tell her. And there's a larger chance of her finding me online because of the nature of the job.

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    Senior Member FayeValentine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Thanks for the advice everyone. I just told her that we'll be okay. He takes care of me and I need to be an independent adult. She completely understood, and reminded me that I can always ask for help if I need it. Totally didn't expect that response.

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    God/dess Marina Starr's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    I'm so happy for you! Sometimes we expect the worst and get the best. Kudos to you for telling her.
    Quote Originally Posted by FayeValentine View Post
    Thanks for the advice everyone. I just told her that we'll be okay. He takes care of me and I need to be an independent adult. She completely understood, and reminded me that I can always ask for help if I need it. Totally didn't expect that response.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.



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    Featured Member luvnrockets's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    https://www.stripperweb.com/forum/sh...ou-tell-people

    This thread, and there may be others, has ideas for jobs you can make up. Good luck.
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    Veteran Member Dorothea's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by FayeValentine View Post
    And how can I get her to fork over those bills and give me access to my loan account so I can start paying off these student loans?
    what do you mean? what loan account?

    Sounds to me like the problem could be much bigger etc and your mom might be a narcissistic parent. They are so caring and undestanding when they have to be etc lol but really is all about control in the end. I recommend doing some research on the internet etc and maybe picking up Susan Forward book on the subject and depending on that making your next move.

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    Senior Member FayeValentine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dorothea View Post
    what do you mean? what loan account?

    Sounds to me like the problem could be much bigger etc and your mom might be a narcissistic parent. They are so caring and undestanding when they have to be etc lol but really is all about control in the end. I recommend doing some research on the internet etc and maybe picking up Susan Forward book on the subject and depending on that making your next move.
    Ha! I'm sorry but my mom couldn't be further from narcissistic. And I have a psychology degree, so I'm quite familiar with it. My mom has spoiled me my entire life. I've never had to do anything but go to school and get good grades. Supported me through college, even though I had a job. Scholarships and loans for college, she helped me get. So she's not controlling. She just babies me to death. But now I need to be an adult and pay my own bills and have control of my own accounts.

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    Veteran Member Dorothea's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    in that case you are lucky and am happy for you!

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    Veteran Member Sally Says's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Self employed working from home customer service role,I've been doing a similar job for a year now

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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    My mom can get like that with me sometimes and I'm 35! She gets super concerned that work at home jobs won't last and aren't secure. I visited her for 6 weeks last year and cammed from my room at her house! I live abroad so I don't go home to visit much...twice in 7 years!

    She pressures me a lot to use my degree and get a job in accounting for stability. She has no idea what I do. I told her that I do video editing (which I do! for myself *hehe*) and that the agencies I work with are very, very strict with their non-disclosure policies. She calmed down quite a bit once I stayed with her and saw that I have a schedule that I work and didn't even bother me while I was working (she can be nosy sometimes) because she didn't want to get me in trouble with the non-disclosure agreements in case I was on a "call" with one of my video editing clients.

    I have a friend that is in the video editing field and he gives me the 411 on how things work whenever I ask so I can sound legit




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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    I had never heard the phrase "narcissistic parent" before but I looked it up and it fits the relationship between my mum and I. Thank you, I think this could be really helpful to me

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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Well your pay comes from a tech company so your a video customer service Representative for them. You find solutions that work for the customer and the company you work for. You specialise in high powered pcs with ultra fast connection speeds and your focus is around this. You go on webcam to provide a human face to this very much like amazons video help service.

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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by Marina Starr View Post
    Set boundaries! People behave badly when you don't. This goes for all relationships.
    Can t tell how much this post usefull. So true.

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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Dear Mom, thank you for being such a wonderful ,loving,caring mother who really looks out for me. I don't want to seem ungrateful but I want you to know that I have a great gig now that is earning me enough money so you don't need to worry anymore. You've always supported me but I'm an adult now and I need to prove to you I can make it on my own and that I'll be more than fine.

    We will still do all the mommy/daughter things and I will always keep you up to date. My job is kind of complicated to explAin because it deals with a lot of complicated internet stuff like affiliate marketing and SEO and it is highly skilled. I love it because I am good at it and it utilizes all of my best skills.

    So no worries mom, I love you so much!

    Coming from the daughter of the most overbearing, stage mom on earth...I hear you.
    Last edited by hyori; 03-06-2016 at 08:49 AM. Reason: Becuz paragraphs
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    Senior Member FayeValentine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by hyori View Post
    Dear Mom, thank you for being such a wonderful ,loving,caring mother who really looks out for me. I don't want to seem ungrateful but I want you to know that I have a great gig now that is earning me enough money so you don't need to worry anymore. You've always supported me but I'm an adult now and I need to prove to you I can make it on my own and that I'll be more than fine.

    We will still do all the mommy/daughter things and I will always keep you up to date. My job is kind of complicated to explAin because it deals with a lot of complicated internet stuff like affiliate marketing and SEO and it is highly skilled. I love it because I am good at it and it utilizes all of my best skills.

    So no worries mom, I love you so much!

    Coming from the daughter of the most overbearing, stage mom on earth...I hear you.
    My mom owns a home business and knows all about affiliate marketing and SEO so that wouldn't work anyway lol.

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    Senior Member FayeValentine's Avatar
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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    I just got hired for a vanilla job at my gym. So I doubt she'll ever ask again.

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    Default Re: How to deal with overbearing mother?

    Quote Originally Posted by FayeValentine View Post
    Ha! I'm sorry but my mom couldn't be further from narcissistic. And I have a psychology degree, so I'm quite familiar with it. My mom has spoiled me my entire life. I've never had to do anything but go to school and get good grades. Supported me through college, even though I had a job. Scholarships and loans for college, she helped me get. So she's not controlling. She just babies me to death. But now I need to be an adult and pay my own bills and have control of my own accounts.
    Yep. Same here. My mother is the true definition of narcissistic. I cut ties with her back in November. I've never felt better.


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