
Originally Posted by
Slutdust
Hey everyone-- It's been a while since I've posted on SW. I've been going through an intense mental battle with myself, and I need some input. Advice, words of encouragement, or just knowing I'm not alone will be helpful...
Where do I begin. I've been doing sex work in one form or another for ten years now. I've been lucky enough to have only positive experiences, and the sex industry has been very good to me in general. For the past four years, I've been working as a high-end escort. I've always loved my job and have been very okay with the idea of escorting for as long as I can (as long as it's still fun, as long as people book me, etc). I've always been aware of the importance of an exit plan, and it's something I've continuously gone back and forth with, but ultimately, I feel like I'm currently doing what I was born to do...
Well, then one day I fall deeply in love. I'm 29 years old, my boyfriend is 36. We met in the gym three years ago, but our relationship became official in the past year. I have absolutely NO doubt in my mind that we are going to spend the rest of our lives together, get married, perhaps have children, etc. As soon as we began our relationship, I confessed to him about my job and was completely honest-- how I enjoy it, don't plan on quitting anytime soon, etc. I'm very lucky to be with someone who is so mature and understanding-- he has never asked me to quit and he never will. He understands the difference between work and pleasure. However, I know deep-down it pains him to know I am sleeping with other men (for money), although he has never confirmed or denied it. The most he says is, "Without condemning or condoning, I understand."
The issue lies here, in my own head. The deeper in love I fall, the harder work becomes for me. I am very good at separating the two (work and personal), and I still enjoy my job. The hard part is knowing: 1) continuing to escort longterm may stunt the growth of our relationship, and 2) it hurts me to hurt him, and I can't prolong that pain for who knows how much longer.
I believe my passion in life is helping people embrace their sexuality and break free from sexual shame, I love dressing up, having intimate conversations with strangers, the rush of walking through a hotel, and the money is good-- some of the reasons why I love escorting. I've honestly exhausted all other options of careers and even business start-ups. I'm still having a good enough time, but we all know escorting is a dead-end job. It HAS to end some day...then what?
I could just power through and keep on doing what I'm doing until the day we get married. But then what? I am not comfortable with the idea of him supporting me (I have too much pride, and plus, I love to work). All of this would be much easier if there was a light at the end of the tunnel...if I could at least have a Plan B in motion while I finish up my time as an escort, you know? Right now, I'm just going around in circles.
I've considered investing in real estate property (according to my calculations, will take about ten more years of escorting in order to have multiple properties where I can actually survive off the income...and I just don't think I have ten more years left in me). I've also considered going to nursing school to become an RN and get into aesthetic medicine (botox, fillers, etc)...but I've never been a school OR a job person, and medical studies might be pushing it a little too hard. Like I said...going around in circles.
Well...I guess I just wanted a listening ear. So thank you guys for reading. xoxoxo
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