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Thread: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

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    Banned EnjuAihara's Avatar
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    Lightbulb LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Live in LT BF has left me for a stripper - Want to move out, no Money - Should I strip Temporarily ?


    Quick backstory


    Love of my life, my long term bf started to go to strip clubs after playing poker a few nights a week
    We live together, dating 5 years, in our 30s.


    I have classic womens' intuition.
    Over the last several months affection dwindled on his part.
    I am a sexual girl and I felt so weird that he stopped returning affection.


    Finally he admitted to meeting "the hottest woman he has seen in 10 years" at a club, but said he "only" got private rooms with her and touched her but nothing else.


    I was so blindsided and was in denial for months afterwards. I should have saved up money since I live in his house and have no family or savings to help me.
    Instead I've kept giving him 60% of my income to help cover bills (he has money himself, lawyer making xxx,xxx)


    Things came to a head recently. Even though I have loved him completely I finally forced a conversation about it all.


    He again told me he can;t help himself and before I was able to stop him , he gushed how she is a brunette Marilyn Monroe with a tiny, perfect 5'2 body.
    Well I'm a curvaceous Christina Hendrick type, so that made me feel horrid.


    The kicker came this last week. He says he plans to move out, but I can stay and rent his house. So suddenly
    I will need to double my income.
    He then dropped the bomb that he was driving several hours to AC to play poker and "hang out" with the stripper who invited him there.
    When he returned last night I was calm but made him explain everything that happened in AC. He showed me his phone convos with her.
    She actually brought her relatives to AC too and he tried to impress them. So he is very serious about her. He's a very good looking and charming guy,
    so I can see her being smitten.


    So yeah I understand I am single now. And need fast cash myself. The thought of being "left behind" when he moves out and the thought of scrambling to make extra money to pay him makes me want to puke,


    I know nothing about stripping and guys preferences. Is there a market , a $$$ for big boobed curvy (but small waist and thighs) redheads in stripping? I love to dance and am very outgoing but worried about not having a tiny little body . (since that what my now ex BF has left me for and made me feel like crap for not looking like)


    I never do drugs, have rock solid ethics and am not worried about getting sucked into it long term. (Not that there is anything wrong with doing it full time)
    I have a good job on my own I can do any time (website design) but now I am so hurt and wounded I want nothing but a nice nest egg quickly built so I can move out and far away from here. I'm talking other side of the country fresh start kind of deal.


    Plus it will be like a Dark Comedy when a customer asked me how I started stripping. Because the Love of my Life left me destitute when he left me for a Stripper.


    Any advice appreciated.

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    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Christina Hendrick is a hot lady.

    If you're head is set on doing it, go for it. Fuck what he thinks and stop giving him money. He's a gambling lawyer. He's not broke.

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    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Only you can know if this is true, but it sounds like you may be considering stripping because your BF left you for a stripper. By becoming a stripper, you think you'll become more desirable. I'm not even saying you're trying to win HIM back, but you've just had a major blow to your self-esteem and it sounds like you might be trying to recover it by stripping.

    If that's your reason for wanting to strip, please don't do it.

    What are you doing even considering renting a house from this guy? What are you doing talking to him any more? He's shredded your self-esteem and taken your money. He's an asshole. I'm sure he has endearing qualities, which is why you dated him, but he's also a complete douche who's been very cruel to you. Cut off all contact, find a cheaper place to rent in your area (or across the country--if you've got a car and a work-from-home job like web design, you can cross-country for not a lot of money), and start over.

    And don't strip while you're emotionally fragile if you can help it. This is a very shredding job. You'll meet all kinds of people who are looking to prey on young, confused, insecure women. You'll meet people who will neg you in attempts to meet you OTC, people who will push your boundaries, people who will expect extras in return for compliments. Don't expose yourself to that shit while you're heartbroken and insecure.

    If you decide to do it anyway, big boobs = money. Always. Visit clubs in your area, find one with girls at or below your attractiveness level, audition, and make your money.

    Based on your post, though, I hope you can find another way. Hugs.


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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    He's as ass for giving you the details of this other chick.
    A true gentleman ( even exiting a relationship ) would have kept info and details to a minimum to spare heart break.

    Agreed that is sounds like you have the body to strip ..... but don't do it for revenge. Do it to care of yourself !

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Oh ... and stripping pairs INCREDIBLY well with freelance work by the way ( I do it too , not exactly your industry but somewhat similar ). You can strip less when you have heavy projects and more when your projects are light.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Yea you should get away from him, but just a thought, but is there any way you can guilt him into giving you some $ to start over with?
    Have you considered camming, we have a Camming Connection section here, check it out. But yea, this type of work is hard on self esteem, especially after a break up.
    Some of the things I do/have done for faster $ than reg jobs: working conventions (sometimes they pay cash), doing in store demos w/new food/drink samples (liquor pays best, they don't pay cash but one co. paid in Paypal the next week). Also, google focus group & look in backpage, you get paid for your opinion on something, usually a new food product, they pay the same day, sometime cash. Bartending/waitressing.
    Good Luck & I wish you the best!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Thanks for your sage advice. It really makes me step back and think.
    I should add I do animal rescue and have 4 beloved rescue cats whom I adore.
    Not easy to rent a place quickly with them though.
    Dancing seems like a way to earn some fast cash in bulk.
    But perhaps I'll try and take on some design work until I am calmer and saner.
    Hugs to you too.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Yea you should get away from him, but just a thought, but is there any way you can guilt him into giving you some $ to start over with?
    Have you considered camming, we have a Camming Connection section here, check it out. But yea, this type of work is hard on self esteem, especially after a break up.
    Some of the things I do/have done for faster $ than reg jobs: working conventions (sometimes they pay cash), doing in store demos w/new food/drink samples (liquor pays best, they don't pay cash but one co. paid in Paypal the next week). Also, google focus group & look in backpage, you get paid for your opinion on something, usually a new food product, they pay the same day, sometime cash. Bartending/waitressing.
    Good Luck & I wish you the best!
    Great suggestions! I really appreciate all the replies on here. They have made me feel a little better and less sad.

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    Senior Member Leather_Jacket's Avatar
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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Wow, what a shitty situation. I'm sorry to hear this is how your partner has returned you for your loyalty. He's an idiot to run into a girl at the club and expect her to be "the one"... not the chick whose been at his side paying over half their bills for 5 years... smdh. If it makes you feel any better, chances are that things won't work out between them, considering his very shallow reasoning for hooking up with her. Even if that happens sooner rather then later, I would NOT take this guy back; unless you can stand being in a relationship that will continue to take advantage of both your feelings and resources.

    Anyway, lets be honest with ourselves, stripping often falls on women facing hard times. Yes you're heart broken and yes you're vulnerable. If you decide to get into stripping right now, be hyper-aware of the fact that since your emotions are running high and your confidence is running low, stripping can really fuck you up if you don't keep yourself in check. Make a yourself a "Personal Stripper Code of Conduct" and stick with it no matter what (Mine for example consists of a couple personal rules including - NEVER, under any circumstances meet club patrons outside of the club - NEVER, under any circumstances mix drugs and stripping... things like that.)

    From the sound of it, you seem like you have an appearance that will be successful. If you need a bump in income and you think you can use stripping to enhance YOU and YOUR situation while being very aware of the pit-falls that stripping can contain, go for it. Another thing to keep in mind, stripping plays with your confidence... it can make you feel very hot and powerful, and it can make you feel violated and unsure of yourself depending on how you approach your work. If you are willing and able to put the people (customers or other dancers) attempting to take advantage of you back in their place and not take the lack of money on a shitty night too personally, you'll have a healthier outlook on your role as a dancer. Please make sure you will step lightly and stay wise if you decide to go the stripping route, but if you decide that it's not right for you then remember that that's ok too.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    If I were you, I would not. You are scorned right now that your man left you for a stripper. Becoming a stripper yourself doesn't seem like the wisest move right now. Take solace in the fact that this stripper is probably after him for his money and to keep him as a customer. We are VERY good at making guys believe we actually like them (it's part of our job). I am pretty sure he is getting the shit played out of him. Nonetheless, he does not care about you if he freely told you all these details about her and did this to you. It's almost like he's bragging that he can get a hotter woman than you. FUCK HIM. Take your cats and move elsewhere ASAP but I wouldn't go the stripping route because honestly, it's going to fuck with your head. You are going to see other women and compare yourself to them. You're especially going to see other women that fit the description that he gave you of the stripper and that is really going to bother you. In stripping we ALL compare ourselves to each other. We are our own harshest critics especially when you're in a room filled with women just as hot as you or MORE hot than you. Don't do this to yourself when you are in such a fragile state. Also, stop giving him money. Save all your money to move out. He cheated on YOU, he will have to pay the consequences - literally.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Assuming you're not a troll, (no offense but your story sounds like a LMN movie of the week I put on to annoy my boyfriend ) I would get my feet wet with an amateur night and see how you like it.You'll find the reality is very different from your preconceived notions about this industry. Also second Ariel's sentiments. I'm not saying to completely abandon your aspirations but put them on hold until you can gain some perspective. Although you do have the added benefit of not being a naive 18 year old drunk on their own novelty. We have seen wayyy too many of those coming in this industry. A more mature woman who is sure of herself but not yet jaded by the industry is an interesting angle. I can't tell you what to do, because in the end it's your decision. Just be smart about this industry. This is a black hole that consumes the weak and regurgitates them.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    What?!? This dude made six figures and you gave him 60% of your income AND he accepted your money?!?!

    Hell naw! Is he a slick pimp? No real man will take money from you knowing they make more - and definitely not 60 percent.

    Then he gives you some backhanded offer to rent from him?!? Fuck no.

    I wouldn't pay him a dime if I was you. Because he cheated on you and didn't give you the common decency to be straight up beforehand, you had to go asking and questioning and basically figure out for yourself.

    So I'd say he owes you and should at least give you a couple months free rent till you can find another place. If not this, then he should give you some parting gift cash for all those times you supported him financially and to make this break up clean and easy.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Leather_Jacket View Post
    Wow, what a shitty situation. I'm sorry to hear this is how your partner has returned you for your loyalty. He's an idiot to run into a girl at the club and expect her to be "the one"... not the chick whose been at his side paying over half their bills for 5 years... smdh. If it makes you feel any better, chances are that things won't work out between them, considering his very shallow reasoning for hooking up with her. Even if that happens sooner rather then later, I would NOT take this guy back; unless you can stand being in a relationship that will continue to take advantage of both your feelings and resources.

    Anyway, lets be honest with ourselves, stripping often falls on women facing hard times. Yes you're heart broken and yes you're vulnerable. If you decide to get into stripping right now, be hyper-aware of the fact that since your emotions are running high and your confidence is running low, stripping can really fuck you up if you don't keep yourself in check. Make a yourself a "Personal Stripper Code of Conduct" and stick with it no matter what (Mine for example consists of a couple personal rules including - NEVER, under any circumstances meet club patrons outside of the club - NEVER, under any circumstances mix drugs and stripping... things like that.)

    From the sound of it, you seem like you have an appearance that will be successful. If you need a bump in income and you think you can use stripping to enhance YOU and YOUR situation while being very aware of the pit-falls that stripping can contain, go for it. Another thing to keep in mind, stripping plays with your confidence... it can make you feel very hot and powerful, and it can make you feel violated and unsure of yourself depending on how you approach your work. If you are willing and able to put the people (customers or other dancers) attempting to take advantage of you back in their place and not take the lack of money on a shitty night too personally, you'll have a healthier outlook on your role as a dancer. Please make sure you will step lightly and stay wise if you decide to go the stripping route, but if you decide that it's not right for you then remember that that's ok too.
    Another great and helpful answer. Awesome food for thought.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    I'm going to offer an against-the-grain perspective. I've gone through a couple rough breakups in my time as a stripper (nothing quite as extreme as what you're experiencing though). After a couple weeks of laying low and crying it out, I've always found it extremely empowering to get back into the club and start achieving my goals. My attitude and focus improve and customers are happier to be around me. I call it Breakup Money!

    With that said, I do see the same potential red flags for you that some of the other ladies have pointed out. It can definitely fuck with your head to be surrounded by hot naked ladies, especially considering the way things went down between you and your ex. And it is definitely true that some women can be vulnerable to being taken advantage of after a bad breakup. I know for me personally this isn't a problem because I deal with breakups by refocusing tenfold on my goals and aspirations, but only you can gauge your emotional state. If you do decide to try it, definitely take it slow at first. Start with an amateur contest or find a club that will let you only work 1 night a week. And definitely stay sober while you're working! I know you said you don't do any drugs but it still bears repeating. As long as you're still hot, being in your 30s is a huge advantage so you have that going for you.

    I agree with everyone else who has said that things aren't going to work out with the new chick. Your now-ex is going to end up alone and full of regret.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    There isn't really any harm in trying, is there?

    It's not like once you cross the stripper line, there's no going back. Try it out. See how it goes. Don't make a big deal out of it. One night isn't going to destroy your psyche.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Just don't work at the same club she works at and he goes to. That would be a huge disaster. Then again it would be a sweet revenge if he saw you on stage with all those men watching u....
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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    Then again it would be a sweet revenge if he saw you on stage with all those men watching u....
    This would seriously be my line of thinking if I was you and did decide to strip lol. Realistically, it's not likely to ever happen, but it's a nice fantasy to have him bumping into you; only to have you brush him off for nobodies willing to pay you tons of money for your time (Ooo and then he could get upset and you can have the bouncers throw him out on his ass haha). Either way, don't tell your ex you're thinking about stripping or that you are stripping - if that's what you decide to do. Keep all the power in your back pocket and just have the satisfaction of knowing he has no idea... hell if he ever does find out, you could say you've been doing it for years without his knowledge. But honestly, it will be less of a headache for you if he doesn't know about it.

    Really though, yes you can do it for the boost in confidence and power; I would be lying if I didn't admit that, that was a very large reason for me getting into the industry myself. But keep in mind it is you, your life, and your choice. And not everyday will be a good one. Like Charlie said, maybe just go in and give it a shot for a day or two. Who knows, it could be a very liberating experience, but if not you don't have to go back in. Stripping is one of the only jobs where it's perfectly ok to... go there, introduce yourself, have an interview, work, and quit all in the same day.
    Last edited by Leather_Jacket; 03-01-2016 at 06:55 PM.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine22 View Post
    Just don't work at the same club she works at and he goes to. That would be a huge disaster. Then again it would be a sweet revenge if he saw you on stage with all those men watching u....
    Heh this actually did happen for me & it was too much fun to ignore him. He kept trying to talk to me & tip me & I wouldn't do it. By that time I was with someone else so I would go home & tell my fiance that my retarded ex had stopped in & was being pathetic.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Heh this actually did happen for me & it was too much fun to ignore him. He kept trying to talk to me & tip me & I wouldn't do it. By that time I was with someone else so I would go home & tell my fiance that my retarded ex had stopped in & was being pathetic.
    Happened to me too, when I started. He kept trying to talk to me while i was talking to a customer and he offered me money... i said, nope nope nope nope. It was a sweet victory.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    No, the more I learn about strippers I see that you are all screwed up in the brain and have deeply disturbed issues with men.
    Please don't fool yourselves that you're empowered.
    On the scale of sex workers I have more respect for whores than strippers.
    Pathetic.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by EnjuAihara View Post
    No, the more I learn about strippers I see that you are all screwed up in the brain and have deeply disturbed issues with men.
    Please don't fool yourselves that you're empowered.
    On the scale of sex workers I have more respect for whores than strippers.
    Pathetic.
    Soooooooo... I take it things didn't work out too well for you. Like I said before, stripping isn't for everyone, but since you mentioned prostitution, you could give that a shot; since you have more respect for that industry and all. Maybe your husband will even buy some time with you. Probably not though, since he insists on having you pay the bills. Funny, it's almost like he's the one whose been selling YOU sex this whole time! Anyway, if you decide to go that route maybe you should ask him for pointers, he seems to be a pretty efficient escort himself. But as for "deeply disturbed" issues with men, I can't speak for every stripper, but I for one think every man has the right to do whatever he wishes with his own body including selling it to women in need... that is what you meant right?
    Last edited by Leather_Jacket; 04-19-2016 at 06:57 AM.

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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Quote Originally Posted by EnjuAihara View Post
    No, the more I learn about strippers I see that you are all screwed up in the brain and have deeply disturbed issues with men.
    Please don't fool yourselves that you're empowered.
    On the scale of sex workers I have more respect for whores than strippers.
    Pathetic.
    Right! Says the woman who gives all her money to her cheating pimp.

    I suggest to take a cold look in the mirror before you come on here asking for help then biting the hand that feeds you. Ingrate. You should have thanked everyone here that gave you some insight and support but instead you make blanket statement insulting the very women that help you. GTFOOH!

    The only person with the issue is you - as evidenced by your whiny post about your loser boyfriend cheating on you. Yet you stay and continue to give him money. How is that empowering???

    No you don't have respect for strippers or 'whores' and you barely have respect for yourself letting some pitiful man take your money and your pussy and give you nothing but hard dick and bubblegum in return.

    Now I see why he left you. Your personality is horrid. I feel sorry for you.

    Go to rehab, get a psychiatrist, and get off stripperweb.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 04-19-2016 at 06:56 AM.
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    Default Re: LT BF has left me for a Stripper - I have No Money saved - Should I strip ?

    Sorry but I would like to jump in here. Now I am not a stripper but I am sick of women like you trying to blame your own sexual hang ups on sex workers. Do not fool yourself into thinking that you are free from having disturbing issues with men. Look at you! You are in your early 30s and bitching about a man like you are some 13 year old girl on sex worker forum. Don't you think that you are too old to be bellyaching over a penis? Women like you have been holding other women back for centuries due to you wanting to kiss some man's ass. You do not want sexual nor financial freedom. Secondly, you take no responsibility for your actions and wanted to become a stripper in order to boost your low self esteem. Then you failed as a stripper and now you want to blame them for your bitterness. Please grow up before pointing your fingers.







    Quote Originally Posted by EnjuAihara View Post
    No, the more I learn about strippers I see that you are all screwed up in the brain and have deeply disturbed issues with men.
    Please don't fool yourselves that you're empowered.
    On the scale of sex workers I have more respect for whores than strippers.
    Pathetic.

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