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Thread: Being stalked?

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Being stalked?

    I know a lot of you have had experience with this but I've never been stalked before (to my knowledge.) Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but yesterday I took my son to the park and on the way back, I saw this black hybrid looking car that would pull over a little ahead of us, wait til we walked by, then pull up ahead of us again. I noticed and started watching it but it drove off before I could see who was inside.

    Today I took my son outside to play in the front yard and saw the same car (I think) parked outside with someone inside, sitting there. I got suspicious again so I walked past it to see who it was...It looked like a Mexican guy with a hat on, but the windows were kind of tinted so it was hard to get a good look. I kept walking down the sidewalk for a ways and came back. It had pulled out from in front of our place and pulled up down the street, still in view but not directly in front of the house. It sat there for another 5 minutes or so and finally drove off.

    I got a sick feeling in my stomach. I'm not 100% if it's the same car, or just similar looking cars or I'm just being crazy. Thoughts?

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    If you noticed it you're probably right. Do you have any personal defense items at your place? Have you secured the windows & doors?

    If you have a Smartphone turn the video on & see if you can get this car/guy on video.

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    We have an alarm system in case anyone tries to break in but I think my husband just activates it at night. I may get him to turn it on during the day too. I've never seen this car before in the neighborhood before. I also have no idea who it is. An old customer from when I danced or someone who just saw me walking outside and started following me? I don't know where this is coming from. I'll take my phone outside with me and at least get a pic of his license plate if I see him again.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Due to some really awful experiences that myself & friends have had...I am going to advise you to take your suspicions seriously. Also a lot of break ins are just plain burglaries & not necessarily anyone who might know you but at that point the situation is as bad as it can be.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    get the plate, take pictures of the car, email them to someone

    call the cops with the same kind of attitude in your first posting

    I would have been very leery of the behavior in the first sighting

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    If you don't already, make sure that you have a sign outside of your house to show that there is a security alarm. You can also put one in the backyard and put the company's stickers on your window. If your alarm didn't come with signs/stickers, you can also order them from ebay.

    Don't admit to law enforcement that you are a sex worker, as there have been SO MANY instances of law enforcement disregarding or throwing out cases where a sex worker is involved.

    Make sure when you go out that you have some kind of protection, such as pepper spray or a taser. I wouldn't recommend knives/guns because they are too dangerous, and can easily be used against you.

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    Featured Member wednesday86's Avatar
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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    ^Thanks! I actually haven't danced for a few months now and my last club was 2 hours away...I haven't danced anywhere locally, so maybe it's far fetched that someone would follow me from there. I just can't think of anything else, other than someone who lives around here and saw me? No idea. We do have a sign out front and on the door with the Alarm Protection warning.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Yep, if you see it again take video with your phone and let them SEE you taking the video. They'll get the idea that you are on to them real quick and probably not bother again knowing you have them on video.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Men follow & stalk strangers everyday.

    What they don't like is recorded doing it. Everytime you see this car, whip out the phone & start filming him. Be obvious, post on facebook or tumblr and tell everyone about it. Completely legal to post videos of stuff filmed in public. Don't make accusations, until it is the 3rd or 4th video of the same car or guy.

    Amazing how fast people stop bad behavior when they know they are being filmed.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    You may also consider that you may not be the target, but perhaps the predator is stalking your son? I think most non-dancers would automatically assume it was the child the werido was after, not the mother, but as strippers we hear about or have personal experience with being stalked.

    There's no harm in getting photos of the car and license plate. Keep a record and make note of the make/ model/color. You have a general description of the man in the car, and that's good, too.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    I am not trying to say you are not being stalked. Both my sister and I have been stalked (her stalker even was arrested and this was in the 1990's so it was BAD). However, just to rule out other reasons someone may be following you- is it possible it is a PI? Do you or your husband have custody or alimony issues that maybe an ex hired a PI? Have either of you followed an insurance claim recently?

    As far as the alarm- there should be a "stay" setting (which is likely what you are using at night) that will trigger the alarm if someone breaches a door or window (or shatter glass if you have that feature), but will not be triggered by motion sensors in the house. You can also get a camera for like 99 bucks that you should be able to incorporate into your existing system- or heck just put it up outside to deter anyone from breaking in.

    Also, if the person looks unfamiliar to you- the chances of them stalking you are not as high as one would think. ( I read 1 in 5 and 1 in 10- truth is probably in the middle. Stalkers feel some connection, or attachment to their victims (even if it is imaginary). In the case of celebrities they have this imaginary connection because they are familiar with the persons work (movies, songs, etc). so while it is possible a customer from a strip club could fixate on you- the likelihood of him having done so without you talking to him or dancing for him is pretty low..Hope this helps.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    I am not trying to say you are not being stalked. Both my sister and I have been stalked (her stalker even was arrested and this was in the 1990's so it was BAD). However, just to rule out other reasons someone may be following you- is it possible it is a PI? Do you or your husband have custody or alimony issues that maybe an ex hired a PI? Have either of you followed an insurance claim recently?

    As far as the alarm- there should be a "stay" setting (which is likely what you are using at night) that will trigger the alarm if someone breaches a door or window (or shatter glass if you have that feature), but will not be triggered by motion sensors in the house. You can also get a camera for like 99 bucks that you should be able to incorporate into your existing system- or heck just put it up outside to deter anyone from breaking in.

    Also, if the person looks unfamiliar to you- the chances of them stalking you are not as high as one would think. ( I read 1 in 5 and 1 in 10- truth is probably in the middle. Stalkers feel some connection, or attachment to their victims (even if it is imaginary). In the case of celebrities they have this imaginary connection because they are familiar with the persons work (movies, songs, etc). so while it is possible a customer from a strip club could fixate on you- the likelihood of him having done so without you talking to him or dancing for him is pretty low..Hope this helps.
    Yeah I read somewhere that most stalkers already know the victim, so I'm hoping it's just a coincidence/I'm just paranoid and crazy. I'd rather be crazy than be stalked lol. I told my husband and he immediately took me and drove me all over our neighborhood looking for the car, (but I'm terrible at identifying make and model). I saw a couple cars that looked similar, and my neighbor saw him too and can keep an eye out...He told me to do the same thing...film/take pictures if I see him again.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    You might try writing down the license number, and being obvious about it.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Honestly, you should've gotten the plate/car description & reported it by the 2nd time..something already could've happened, (TG it didn't). Esp. since he sees/knows where you live. If you got a bad feeling, that's a warning that should be heeded.
    I once had a guy walk up to me in a store, he didn't say anything, but I had my head buried in a book & wasn't paying attention. Later I was browsing near the front of the store, same guy was buying something, he turned around to look @ me, I got the worst feeling..(actually it was very clear, THIS guy's gonna follow me) Btw this was in the middle of the day
    Waited a while to leave, then spotted him sitting outside in his car. I whipped out my phone (this was before smart phones) & pretended to make a call. He took off in his car, & after waiting a good while I left in mine. He never saw what car I got into.


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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Guys can be creepy & stalkerish just because u turn them on, they don't have to feel connected or know you. Many of times just out walking my dog way before I did porn or cammed, men would follo w me in their cars, passing me by several times. Often times slowing down to say creepy stuff, ask if I wanted to fuck or flash their dicks. Cause I always carried cold water, would cool them off.

    Always carry your phone, always turn around and record them when your instincts are warning you. Most hope you will just play victim. When you acknowledge they are making you uncomfortable, creeping you out, get bold. Now, I will stand in the middle of the street,record them with my phones & tell everyone around who is being creepy.

    In the middle of a store if a guy follows me, gets to close and walking up on me from behind. I get loud, I start filming them with my phone. Have no problem calling men out for being perverts, inappropriate or invading my personal space. When people get filmed doing it, they act right & disappear.

    A guy friend of mine was at a mobile phone store. Everyone was waiting in line, 2 sales people waiting on them. A manager walks out the door and a lady there starts making a scene, causing a rukus cause he left. As if the 2 sales people there could do anything about it & caused everyone to stop working. My friend told her that she is stopping the work and just get back in line. She turned on him and started screaming louder. He got out phone & started filming, she shut up & left immediately. Then she came back inside, got in the back of the line and waited quietly.

    Always trust your instincts. Realize that only 1% of rapist are ever convicted & serve jail time. There are many predators out there in the world who will never see a day in jail. NONE of them want to be recorded following you.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    If this is happening in broad daylight in a public place, I'd approach the car, ask their intentions, and threaten police action.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    If this is happening in broad daylight in a public place, I'd approach the car, ask their intentions, and threaten police action.
    Threaten what police action? What they are doing legally is just being in the same area as you are which isn't illegal. What do you think the police will do? Do you really think they give a fuck?

    Now, if you have video evidence of them following you over and over again. Police still wont do anything about it, but he doesn't want that all over the web for his family, friends, co-workers, job to know about it. AKA public shame works best. It is also harder to disprove video evidence in a court of law if you eventually have to take that route.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Me personally, Id never approach an unknown..he could be armed or have accomplices


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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    On a regular basis have the husband go on those walks & park trips.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    If this is happening in broad daylight in a public place, I'd approach the car, ask their intentions, and threaten police action.
    I actually considered this but thought, just in case he's armed or violent, and since I had my son with me I probably shouldn't. My first response was feeling pissed off and I wanted to tap his window and be all "WTF man?" Luckily I haven't seen him again today. I took my phone outside with me so I could catch him on camera though.

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    I actually considered this but thought, just in case he's armed or violent, and since I had my son with me I probably shouldn't. My first response was feeling pissed off and I wanted to tap his window and be all "WTF man?" Luckily I haven't seen him again today. I took my phone outside with me so I could catch him on camera though.
    How unnerving. have you seen him since?

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    Quote Originally Posted by Miss Rarity View Post
    How unnerving. have you seen him since?
    I saw them drive by the other day but no more stops. I'm hoping I was either imagining things or they lost interest

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    Default Re: Being stalked?

    You saw them again? Ok, hope everything's alright, seems like it's been more than a couple times now..good luck.


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