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Thread: Loneliness

  1. #1
    Member Taura's Avatar
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    Default Loneliness

    I'm dealing with some serious lonely problems.

    I've lost many friends and family members over what I do for work and I feel like I only have my partner and here to come to now.
    There's also an existential part to this.....my mom died at 24 from ovarian cancer and my aunt on my dad's side is terminal with her second round of ovarian cancer. I'm going to be 24 this year and I'm facing big things that concern my education. Is it even worth pursuing school for the next 2-3 years if I might be diagnosed? I've considered that thing where people have kids to deal with this kind of existential issue. I'm considering escorting for big money so that I can travel and see the world but that wouldn't be okay with my partner who has stood by me for 3 years.

    While he supports me he is the only one here to support me and he's getting tired of hearing my shit and probably kind of tired of me since he's started trying to go on more dates (we are poly, no poly shaming!). We both work from home so we are with one another daily. It feels much more lonely than it sounds and he can only do so much.

    I've seen fellow workers block me and I don't even know what I did.

    Even people I don't know are telling me to fuck off.

    I know this sounds like I'm being a total pansy, I've got psychotic depression and it's hard to tell what's normal or not and deal with shit. Suicidal ideation is back in my daily thought pattern again.

  2. #2
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loneliness

    Taura, if you are only looking for feedback from the ladies, please let me know and I will gladly delete this...

    For starters, please seek help if things get too bad. You're not being a pansy - just human. Everyone needs help at some point.

    In the longer term, IMHO you should do whatever you must in order to feel better. If a change of scenery will help, then IMHO you should do it. While it is true that we ultimately cannot run away from ourselves, keeping busy and on the move sure does help IME. Maybe it's time to spread your wings a bit and see what else this world has to offer you.

    As far as the BF goes, while he may have stood by you for 3 years, but he is not doing so now if he makes you feel bad for needing him and instead takes off more often to be with other women. Also, it's not like he hasn't been getting things from you as well, not the least of which includes sleeping with other women while still coming home to you. So IMHO you don't owe him anything, especially if maintaining the status quo will continue to lead to a deeper funk.

    Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.

  3. #3
    God/dess rickdugan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loneliness

    Taura, hopefully you re-posted this somewhere else, such as in Ladies Only, and got more responses.

  4. #4
    God/dess Issabelle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loneliness

    Yeah, we had a thread by another posted yesterday in Camming that took off. Taura posts over there, so hopefully she saw it.


  5. #5
    Member Taura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loneliness

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    Taura, hopefully you re-posted this somewhere else, such as in Ladies Only, and got more responses.
    I didn't but it doesn't have to be exclusively from anyone of any sex.

    My partner isn't a seasoned sex worker like I am and honestly I hate to say it when it's true that he's been lucky. He's gotten that advantage from family that paid for him to get through school and they still take care of him whenever he needs it without question. He just doesn't get it and while he doesn't have to have a shit family like I do, I know he can't really connect with me on the issues I face because he doesn't know what they are or how I feel. These things make him really uncomfortable and he has been actively seeking more dates lately since my depression has caught on again. Kind of feels like he's afraid or not up for the reality of a partnership.

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  7. #6
    Member Taura's Avatar
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    Default Re: Loneliness

    Quote Originally Posted by Issabelle View Post
    Yeah, we had a thread by another posted yesterday in Camming that took off. Taura posts over there, so hopefully she saw it.
    I'll jump on that, thank you.

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