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Thread: Was this disrespectful of him?

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    Default Was this disrespectful of him?

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    Last edited by somechick99; 05-05-2017 at 01:25 PM.

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    No, that was extremely ignorant in my opinion. Ugh, if it were me I'd move on.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Veteran Member LilLadyLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    He is a super assface and you are well rid of him.

    I just want to precise this with YOU DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS ASSHOLERY. What I have found in my life is that when I don't have sex with a guy for the first few weeks of dating (like 4... Like 4 good dates) and won't discuss sex too much, won't sext, dirty talk etc, men treat me better.
    Why? Cuz we live in a shitty sexist culture where women are prized then punished for having libidos. Now many of my friends and hooked up on one night stands and had relationships spring forth, but they hooked up with ALOT of dudes with no expectations. This is my own unique experience. Sorry the guy was a dud, they won't all be!

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    Quote Originally Posted by LilLadyLux View Post
    He is a super assface and you are well rid of him.

    I just want to precise this with YOU DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS ASSHOLERY. What I have found in my life is that when I don't have sex with a guy for the first few weeks of dating (like 4... Like 4 good dates) and won't discuss sex too much, won't sext, dirty talk etc, men treat me better.
    Why? Cuz we live in a shitty sexist culture where women are prized then punished for having libidos. Now many of my friends and hooked up on one night stands and had relationships spring forth, but they hooked up with ALOT of dudes with no expectations. This is my own unique experience. Sorry the guy was a dud, they won't all be!
    I hate the double standard so much...you're totally right though. Oh well, live and learn I guess. Looks like I'll be buying a vibrator lmao

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    A lot of guys think that if you own up to your sexual desires in any way, you forfeit the right to a slower experience - you know, where the chemistry and passion are built through touching, kissing, and other activities that might inspire a woman to touch the penis. I don't know whether it's ignorance or simply lack of caring, but they then think (hope?) that you should be down to cut right to the chase. For women, this is usually NOT true and if it is, we will let them know by touching the penis without prompting!

    I think it's extremely rude to try and short cut around the intimacy-building stuff so that he can try and use you to get his own orgasm, when you guys have no pre-existing relationship. Either he doesn't know how to behave with a woman, or he just doesn't care. Either way, I'd say next.

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    Maybe the dirty talk and sexy pictures gave him the impression that you two were just going to hookup or be 'fuck buddies' so why not get started with some road head? Lol. I don't think it's sexist. I mean if I went out with a guy a couple times and then he starts sending me dick pics and talking dirty to me I would assume he just wants sex. If you're looking for something more than a fuck buddy I would probably look elsewhere. He does sound like a douche to just whip his dick out right after picking you up (so yes it was disrespectful).

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    Yeah I'm sorry...I don't want to come off as a bitch, but you did give him the impression that you just want to fuck, not necessarily be treated like a lady. I agree 100% with 22ligm. If you want to be treated like a lady/girlfriend then don't send him naughty texts or pics until after you've had coitus. The slightest thing can set them off. To this day I can send my husband a picture of my butt-a butt he's seen a thousand times, and he'll still get horny and want to pounce on me asap. That said it sounds like he's a little clueless, doesn't understand women (he assumed you wanted sex but made a wrong "move".) At least he apologized though. If you want a fwb then I'd give him another chance...but he may not have boyfriend potential.

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    I always feel really frustrated when women blame themselves for "leading someone on" or the thought that maybe they weren't acting in a way that deserved respect. Everyone deserves respect, right? It should be totally okay to be sexual with someone, but not ever disrespectful. That situation with you in the car had no terms of consent or anything - so regardless of having sexual tension through sexting, that is still super wrong. To me that is a super giant red flag - its one thing to be a little crazy turned on by someone, but what he did was so out of bounds regardless

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    I agree that I can see how he would be under the impression that you guys were gonna get nasty quick, but I think his 'methods' show that you guys are sexually incompatible. His style of putting the moves on you completely turned you off, what he thought would be hot as fuck grossed you out. I don't think he's a total asshole but I do think he is pretty stunted sexually, most women are not going to respond well to what he did. If he can't grasp that doing what he did is usually going to be a huge turn off I would bet that he's going to be immature and stunted in many other areas of life.

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    Quote Originally Posted by wednesday86 View Post
    Yeah I'm sorry...I don't want to come off as a bitch, but you did give him the impression that you just want to fuck, not necessarily be treated like a lady. I agree 100% with 22ligm. If you want to be treated like a lady/girlfriend then don't send him naughty texts or pics until after you've had coitus. The slightest thing can set them off. To this day I can send my husband a picture of my butt-a butt he's seen a thousand times, and he'll still get horny and want to pounce on me asap. That said it sounds like he's a little clueless, doesn't understand women (he assumed you wanted sex but made a wrong "move".) At least he apologized though. If you want a fwb then I'd give him another chance...but he may not have boyfriend potential.
    Prior to talking dirty/the pic situation we had discussed feeling a connection etc, I don't see why it would have to be an either/or situation. But it's a pointless debate since I'm giving him the boot anyways

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    Quote Originally Posted by 22lligm View Post
    Maybe the dirty talk and sexy pictures gave him the impression that you two were just going to hookup or be 'fuck buddies' so why not get started with some road head? Lol. I don't think it's sexist. I mean if I went out with a guy a couple times and then he starts sending me dick pics and talking dirty to me I would assume he just wants sex. If you're looking for something more than a fuck buddy I would probably look elsewhere. He does sound like a douche to just whip his dick out right after picking you up (so yes it was disrespectful).
    Thanks for the alternative perspective about how it's not sexist, I see what you mean actually, I'd probably feel the same way if I received dick pics right off the bat lol

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    Quote Originally Posted by somechick99 View Post
    Prior to talking dirty/the pic situation we had discussed feeling a connection etc, I don't see why it would have to be an either/or situation. But it's a pointless debate since I'm giving him the boot anyways
    In the beginning guys will put you in the "potential girlfriend" category or "good time only" category. I wouldn't even joke about sex or talk about anything sexual at all in the beginning (if I actually like the guy.) I would let them pursue me and give them a little chase..Make them earn it by taking me out, buying me dinner and being romantic. It actually builds up their attraction to you and helps them to fall in love. I know a lot of people don't agree with me or think it's "fair" but it works. Even after you have sex, sexting and naughty pics should be a special treat because they earned it. (Know that he IS going to show his buddies those pics btw and they're going to get passed around if he doesn't see you as his "gf/potential gf") I don't think it's sexist either, because we do the same thing to guys, as 22 illustrated with her dick pic example. Women also put men into "just a hook up" or "potential boyfriend/possible husband material" boxes, depending on how they act in the beginning.

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    Default Re: Was this disrespectful of him?

    The guy was too forward. He should have at least try to get some signals from you or talked to you first before just whipping his dick out. Wth?!?

    I don't know what you text him or what the pics you sent him look like but maybe he got the wrong idea OR maybe he is just a forward, skip all the romance and pleasantries and cut to the chase kind of guy.

    Either way, At least you know now what type of guys to avoid in the future.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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