This is part II of my thread on quitting cam and guys asking to go exclusive (posted in Ladies Only).
So I'm at a weird point in my life. I'm pushing 30, but I'm still not ready to settle down. For myself, 34-38 seems like a good age to settle down.
My ex from 10 years ago wants to get back together. I'm not opposed, but I keep finding things "wrong" with him that should not be dealbreakers. Then I realized I do this with every guy! This guy makes a fuckload of money and tells me I would never have to work again. But I don't want that kind of life. I want to work and spend time doing rewarding work. He's tall and has a closeknit family. He's nice. I'm his dream girl he always says. Like most of my exes, we only broke up because one (or both) of us moved away. In this case, both of us. But I feel like he lacks the extreme artistic drive I like in men. He was in a dumb band in his teens. He loves music and would go to any art event I asked him to go to. What's wrong with me?
Right now I'm dating this guy who actually is the type I like. Very artistic guy who does industrial design for work. He does amazingly beautiful special effects sculpting and makeup for fun. He is very outdoorsy and even has plans to build his own home by hand. He loves minimal living like I do. He is gothy and we are in the same music scene. He has long, dark hair that I like. He would do anything for me. He talks about wanting babies. So what do I find fault in him? He's 3 inches shorter than I'd ideally want him to be. This is so petty!!!! I don't want to care about this!!!! I mean if I have complaints like THIS right NOW, what the fuck will the future hold?? I can't be 60 with a guy when I am already complaining that he's mildly shorter than I'd ideally want him to be. Another thing is that, while his job is ideal and stable, nurse practitioners make more money than he makes and I think I'd resent being the bread winner. But I like the idea of earning a lot of money. I'm already a very minimal spender, so why the fuck do I care about this?
I'm so annoyed with myself lol! What do I do, bbs? I don't want to be this petty but I can't control it! Everyone I know keeps joking that I'm going to be a cougar. It's already stated to happen where I attract like 19 year olds but that freaks me out. I could see being a cougar to a guy 26+ when I'm much older, but not now!
How do I get over my weirdness? I really don't want to be this petty. I do live in an area with lots of singles so I could be single forever and it's not a problem, but I do want kids sometime in my 30s and I'm pushing 30 now. 34-38 seems ideal. Halpsies



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