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Thread: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

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    Default In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Ok,let's clear things up.I am no way,shape or form trying or seeking to be friends with anyone in this industry.But,if I just so happen to click with someone by a slight chance of faith then,so be it.

    But my question to y'all is,is it true that you cannot make friends here in this industry?Either because the notion of dancers being mean,evil,manuliptative,rude,vicious,a thieving hoe,conv

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I've worked at a lot of clubs since I started 5 years ago. Like 16 or so in 3 different cities. And of all the dancers i've met I only became friends with 2 of them. Friends as in we talked and hungout outside of work. There were a few others who I was friendly with but only saw at work.

    There have been a wide range of dancers at all the clubs and I wouldn't say I didn't make more friends because they were 'evil' or whatever. I always keep to myself and don't make friends easily so I'm not surprised I've only made 2 friends over the years dancing lol. But the friends I did make I met them when working at very small clubs. Now I work at bigger clubs I don't even know the name of one dancer I work with lol so I couldn't say much about them.
    Last edited by 22lligm; 03-30-2016 at 01:18 PM.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    You'll learn that strippers aren't really evil or cut-throat - but we do have a tendency to live very unusual lives. Girls come and go, just as you will, from club to club, or leave the scene completely. And it's not that strippers are worse off or more drama-prone, I just think the lifestyle and industry itself leads to situations which can kind of lead to someone always being in some sort of situation or drama. Not that they are bad people! We are just sometimes hard to commit to hanging out somewhere outside of work cause we got tendencies for jealous boyfriends or some other issues. It makes it hard to be truly "friends"

    I've always loved the ladies I've worked with, but I also refuse to work at a club with a lot of negative energy or anxiety from cut-throat activity. But for the most part, I could always rely on the girls I surrounded myself with to being positive influences on my money and club experience, not negative

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Plus it should be very hard to make friends when you are keeping your eyes on your money and working a good hustle - it is unfortunately too easy to get tunnel vision and forget about those around you, unless they are giving you money

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Just remember that your friendship ends at the dressing room door.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Maybe I'm really lucky but I've became friends with plenty of dancers at work. There's a couple of girls who I have become close to and we have spent a lot of time together in our "real life". We know each other partners and families, we have gone on vacation together, we can call each other up when we need a favour and do things like drive each other to the airport when need be.

    Some of girls are my friends only at work and we don't hang out outside of the club. Not intentionally but because it just doesn't sense due to our schedules or lifestyles. A lot of the girls are mothers, which means that while I'm sleeping all day and catching up on SW, they are busy parenting and balancing the lifestyle of a stripper. We watch each others backs, help each other out when we need baby wipes or tampons, keep each other posted on customers who are gross or aggressive and keep each other in the loop when there's a customer who isn't into my look but is totally into whatever the other has going on. We hustle together when it makes sense, complain to each other when management is being unreasonable and listen to one another about our day to day personal problems.

    It takes a while to get to that level and it takes me some time to read a person. But I think it's a nice thing to have at work and generally I prefer this to open hostility or not talking to anyone else. I'm an extroverted person and I imagine that working at a place where I view everyone as competition and a bitch just wouldn't be fun for me. Of course the number one thing reason for going to work is making money and I always keep that in mind and no one gets in the way of that.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I personally have no interest in making friends at my work. It's nothing personal and I'm very friendly and polite to all the girls I work with...but when I leave work, I like to get away from it all and just do my own thing. I go to work to make money, not to make friends. My free time is very valuable to me, and I just dont give it away for free.

    I have hung out with other dancers in the past and it usually didn't work out. I'm very laid back but also very responsible and I have my shit together. The dancers I hung out with were very much the stereotypical strippers...hot messes who party too much, are irresponsible, and just too much drama. Obviously not all strippers are like that though. But the ones I've seen who aren't like that tend to be older and have families/husbands or other jobs and dont have time for friendships.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    It's just like any other job. There are horrible girls and great ones. In fact, I'm engaged to another former stripper girl.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    One time I was at a Halestorm concert and I wore a dress with no underwear. We went to the loo and I did a habitual "vagina check" in the mirror. My buddy just laughed but the "civilian vagina " was horrified. Sometimes stripper friends get it when others don't.
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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Agreed. Also, don't forget what you and your co-workers came there for . . . money. Not friends.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I've been dancing for 7 years. I never looked to make friends, but eventually made 3. All 3 of them turned out to be some seriously fucked up ppl. One bipolar shady ass coke head. One who was into some super illegal shit I wasn't aware of, now in prison. The last one some crazy empath.

    Yeah. I'm good with the non-stripper friends I have already.

    No thank you!

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I've made 2 stripper friends. One who ended up stealing my money and another who is genuinely a very sweet person. She's met my family and I've met hers. We're very close and I feel like our relationship is very rare. However, I'm very weary of becoming friends with stripper because of the one situation I was in where money was stolen from me.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I've never really met a sane stripper. I had 2 stripper "friends" but after a while they asked for too much from me. They also wanted to party with customers after work and that freaked me out so much. The only real stripper friends I've had were already friends OTC and wanted introduced to the industry so we started working together. Oh and one who I found out lives in my town who I love but I don't see her much anymore.

    I dunno if it's just my area or what but most girls who talk to me in the clubs seem really off. A lot of them have no problem sharing stories of their pasts with rape, drugs, prison etc. ain't nothing private in the DR lol. Anyways I've been taken advantage of too many times so I don't really say more than "how are you" now. Plus I have my own mental issues to deal with, I don't need more crazy in my life. Finding a GOOD stripper friend is unlikely in my opinion.


    also: the first 2 stripper friends I mentioned gave out my real name and town to a customer. shady bitches.
    "The itsy bitsy stripper climbed up the brassy pole,
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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I've had 1 friend I texted with and hung out with outside of work once. She was ok as a person, just very flaky, so we never hung out more, plus she was into drugs as recreation and I wasn't. I have a few others that I will text with and that know real details about my life. Only one is truly sane, but she is also in her 30s.

    I gotta say that it also took me a year of being at the same club to let these girls in. Generally you should be cautious, this industry does attract some oddball people.
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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    The last one some crazy empath.
    lol. That's me.
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I think its hard as hell, it just seems like a lot of dancers r crazy and its only a matter of time b4 u c there completely insane side n realize why u could never really let them into your life like that. And then theres always jealousy or there trying to make $$ off u, i don't need any help in my hustle its great by itself so they just hurt my $$ and if I make friends w them they feel its ok to talk to me while I'm w a customer trying to make $$ throwing that all out of whack, so I avoid it. I have met a couple who seem really cool but I still never really let them in. A lot of dancers seem petty to me 2 like they worry about small $$ issues when I could care less and can't stand a petty person

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I've made a handful of friends over the years. It's hard making friends as an adult no matter what the profession. When your co-workers are also your direct business competition, it gets even harder to find someone you trust enough to confide in.

    I've met more than a few bat-shit crazy girls over the years. I love them because they figured out a way to make the world work with their craziness. They also make for great cocktail party conversations. Like the girl who was convinced that I worked for the FBI and was stripping as an undercover ruse. She told everyone about her theory of my "real" job. I thought it was hilarious, considering I was never shy about extras in an extras heavy club. So I trolled her and went out and bought a sexy cop costume for Halloween.

    I've got exactly one stripper friend right now. I've got about a dozen girls I talk to on a regular basis who used to be in the biz and we've kept in touch. Since I don't do private parties anymore, I've got very little motivation to seek out stripper alliances. I'm always polite and friendly at work, I'm just not interested in getting involved in friendships with my co-workers.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy Love View Post
    Ok,let's clear things up.I am no way,shape or form trying or seeking to be friends with anyone in this industry.But,if I just so happen to click with someone by a slight chance of faith then,so be it.

    But my question to y'all is,is it true that you cannot make friends here in this industry?Either because the notion of dancers being mean,evil,manuliptative,rude,vicious,a thieving hoe,conv
    All strippers are crazy... jk.
    In general, I don't "fit in" with most of my co workers. I'm just weird, and even in real life, I'm weird. Honestly I rarely ever get invited to outings or parties. Idk why no one ever asks me ... : (

    I have one friend who i met dancing who my my ride or die bitch, I love her so much. The problem is she has a cocaine problem which is fine, she would flip out if anyone ever tried to offer me drugs. She said i was sweet and different. Anyway, she got clean but still drinks heavily. We used to drink together a lot... like crazy stripper drunk adventures. She's reached out to me several times but my gut tells me to stay away. Mostly out of fear I'll relapse into alcohol.

    In the clubs I see a lot of backstabbing and drama. A lot of "friends" end up fighting etc. I guess you get jealous of the money? Idk. To be honest I don't really want to bring my club life into my personal life. I have a son and my life is so different than the persona I fake at work. Maybe these girls wouldn't like the real me anyway lol. Also the veteran dancer inside me tells me I need a "bff" at work, for survival, I think that's necessary in the industry but I don't think I'd bring them home.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    This whole industry is bananas.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    The last one some crazy empath.
    This must be an interesting story.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I got super lucky with my club. Any Drama, you are fired. They expect Vets to help out newbies. The girls (98%) are sweet, helpful and encouraging. And we sell more dances working together! "Oh you prefer blondes baby?? Let me get my friend..." (she pipes up) "you haven't lived until you've had a doubles dances with a blonde AND a brunette at once!" But... I've done the friends at work thing many times in my 30 years and I've learned not to shit where you eat. No matter how maturely YOU handle things, you can't control other people and seemingly sane people can be total nutters and try to ruin your job and relationships with people. And shockingly, not everyone sees through that bullshit!!!! So chit chat, be kind and helpful in the club, but keep distance when it comes to taking things OTC just like with a customer. They better be awfully special, to get me out for a friendship.
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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    I am so fortunate to have met one of my closest friends in this industry. I find it extremely difficult to have long-lasting friendships in general, though. Only recently have I finally learned that your focus should be to make money at work, not friends.

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Yeah, it's no wonder most strippers are crazy, because this industry makes us even crazier! lol, it's true though. We can't help it, we are the products of our environment. Most people in this world are fucking nuts anyway, strippers or not. Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever truly met a sane person in my life. Everyone is crazy in one way or another.

    I think most of us strippers can only handle our own crazy most of the time. When we have to handle others' craziness on top of our own, it can be overwhelming and exhausting.
    "Dancing tables, making deals with devils like a drunk beauty queen"

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Yes, cuz a lot of people get into adult work due to desperation. At least most of the ones I've met. Add a stressful environment and unpredictable income, we're gonna be on edge more than the average office worker. Not to mention abusive and dangerous customers. My blood pressure was at it's highest dancing and I didn't smoke much back then, it was eight hours of fight or flight, it's hard to get out of that mode.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: In this industry is it really hard to make friends?Warning:Generalization alert.

    Nothing justifies your "friend" interrupting a sale for you. I'm sorry. Yes, the business can be a bit stressful...doesn't mean you have to act like a shit head. The ones who want to be friends at work are the ones who want to barg into your sales, forgetting common courtesy. Don't think so bitch.

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