Results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Why waste my time? *vent*

  1. #1
    Member Barbie666's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2014
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    66
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 28 Times in 12 Posts
    My Mood
    Buzzed

    Duh Why waste my time? *vent*

    I'm so mad at myself. I find myself emotionally investing my time into guys that obviously don't give a shit about me, but pretend otherwise, just to get in my pants I guess? i met a guy a year + ago (I'll refer to him as D) I met him randomly at a party, I wasn't drunk but he was. He just tried so hard to hook up with me, I found him charming, funny, hot, etc so I gave in.
    Maybe I shouldn't have hooked up w him the day I met him but I never planned on being his girlfriend, or to ever see him again really. But I gave him my number, and he called me the night after. He was so sweet, we talked for hours and he asked if I would come to see him one day (he lives 3 hours away) to go to a concert since I had mentioned my favorite dj playing in his city. Long story short, I went to see him, had fun. I met his friends a couple times. After we talked on the phone almost everyday, for hours! I ended up visiting him a couple times, he also drove to philly to hang out with me.
    Anyway, one weekend he came to philly, we had tons of sex and the condom broke, I ended up getting pregnant and had an abortion. I was undecided at first, I told him how I felt and he got mad at me? I was so shocked he tried to threaten me by saying he's not going to talk to me again, that it probably wasn't his kid. (By this time I was four weeks, I showed him the ultrasound that said four weeks preggers on it, that shut him up) in the end, I decided to go through with the termination, I wouldn't want to raise a kid with a shitty dad, and I wasn't ready to take care of a baby. I didn't want him to feel like I was trapping him with a baby. He was with me after and took me to get food, and took me shopping, I guess to say sorry although he never verbally said it. I forgave him and just tried to forget about it and everything was fine with us before he left.
    After all that, everything changed he never called me as much, maybe a couple times. He will send me things but barely replies to anything I sent him. I called him fed up one night and asked if he hated me, he said no everything is fine between us. I'm like..ok well it feels like you don't give a shit about me anymore. And he basically said if you feel that way, bye. I'm basically done at this point, I told him to have a nice life.
    Like really? You're not even gonna try to understand why I feel shitty, obviously he doesn't care. But he could've told me he didn't instead of telling me everything is ok. Like you got me over here trying to reach out to you because what? Like whhhhhhy just tell me you don't want to fucking talk. Ughhh I'm here crying when he is totally fine. I'm just so mad, mostly at myself. Silly me.
    *rant temporarily over*
    -for a dreamer, night's the only time of day-

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Barbie666 For This Useful Post:


  3. #2
    Featured Member
    Joined
    May 2011
    Posts
    1,809
    Thanks
    2,282
    Thanked 3,638 Times in 1,173 Posts

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    Damn he sounds like a douchebag. I think guys like to avoid confrontation, especially when they're immature. I remember when my ex and I temporarily went on a break once he was acting distant towards me and I was the one that had to confront him about it and he responded like your guy did. "Well if thats what you want.." when clearly thats what HE wanted but wasn't man enough to say anything.

    And that's messed up he never apologized to you. I'm guessing he felt guilty for knocking a girl up and reacting that way so he spent some money on you to make up for it and went on his way. He doesn't sound like that great of a guy. I think his reaction to you being pregnant was a major warning sign and you should be happy you aren't having a child with him. On the bright side look at this as a chance to learn from your mistakes. I bet there were some other warning signs before your pregnancy that are more obvious to you now.

    Stop crying for him though he's too much of a douche!

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 22lligm For This Useful Post:


  5. #3
    Moderator Genoveve's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Wonderland
    Posts
    4,585
    Thanks
    6,576
    Thanked 12,758 Times in 4,231 Posts
    My Mood
    Psychedelic

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    I think the pregnancy scare and abortion freaked him out to the point that he can't get over it. I have multiple examples of girlfriends whose (not very serious)relationships were negatively and permanently impacted by abortions or pregnancy scares, I think it can tend to shake up a relationship that isn't very concrete.

    A lot of people are not good at being blunt, that's why I think it's always best to go by someone's actions, not their words. Like a lot of people can't seem to say "You know what, I'm done." So they will say everything's fine but then act in accordance with how they actually feel. I personally can't stand a man with no balls so I think the universe did you a favor.

  6. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Genoveve For This Useful Post:


  7. #4
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    16,440
    Thanks
    47,042
    Thanked 34,925 Times in 12,871 Posts
    My Mood
    Aggressive

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    Well he's an ass. Get Rid of him.

    There's no way a man can blame you for "trapping" him if he knows fucking and cumming in the pussy could lead to pregnancy. Condoms break, pills don't get taken at exact times every single day every time, etc. He should grow the fuck up and stop having sex if an unplanned pregnancy scares him that bad.

    This is why it's best to only have sex with people you know, or have a very good idea, would make good parents - just in case a pregnancy happens they're not going to pressure you to abort or leave you high and dry to raise a kid as a single parent on one income. It's ideal to communicate about each other's thoughts on family planning before engaging in intercourse so it's clear both people are on the same page. And to revisit the topic frequently to make sure both people remain on the same page.

    Any man who pressured me to abort would be dumped with swiftness and ease. That fucker owes you a stack of money AND an apology.

    Luckily there are better guys out there. Just have to meet more men and really get to know them and their values, communicate your needs before it's too late, don't carry past baggage with you, be confident in yourself, and be ready to recognize and receive love when it appears.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 03-30-2016 at 07:14 PM.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

  8. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to miss.a.p1600 For This Useful Post:


  9. #5
    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2010
    Posts
    4,942
    Thanks
    20,254
    Thanked 7,454 Times in 2,760 Posts

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    Once he said "its probably not mine", I would have been done but I understand it's hard. Be happy you're not having a baby with him and you got out of that cause he seems like a huge asshole.

  10. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to arielbriel For This Useful Post:


  11. #6
    Member Barbie666's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2014
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    66
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 28 Times in 12 Posts
    My Mood
    Buzzed

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    Thanks everyone I kinda feel better, he's an ass i should've seen it. I don't plan on carrying this baggage. I can't forget it happened, I'm just moving on I have goals. I deleted his number, social media, etc. I don't plan on ever speaking to him again as much as it sucks. i wish I could take it all back. All I can do is hope he realizes how shitty he was towards me and regret it, for his sake tbh.
    -for a dreamer, night's the only time of day-

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Barbie666 For This Useful Post:


  13. #7
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2007
    Location
    the mountains ....
    Posts
    14,202
    Thanks
    15,165
    Thanked 21,346 Times in 9,308 Posts

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    ^ All you can do it move on ! It's a terrible double standard but it's TRUE that 90% of the men out there will label you " the girl for just now " if you give up the goods too soon physically. It's STUPID but we have all seen it and it is just something that exists in today's dating age. It's so ridiculous but if are wanting a boyfriend, it's up to you to set the " standard " for behavior and make sure he labels you as " potential girlfriend " .
    +1 for it being mean with the " it isn't mine thing " . Feel better ! On to the next !

  14. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to carmen_b For This Useful Post:


  15. #8
    Member Barbie666's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2014
    Location
    Philadelphia
    Posts
    66
    Thanks
    44
    Thanked 28 Times in 12 Posts
    My Mood
    Buzzed

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    ^ All you can do it move on ! It's a terrible double standard but it's TRUE that 90% of the men out there will label you " the girl for just now " if you give up the goods too soon physically. It's STUPID but we have all seen it and it is just something that exists in today's dating age. It's so ridiculous but if are wanting a boyfriend, it's up to you to set the " standard " for behavior and make sure he labels you as " potential girlfriend " .
    +1 for it being mean with the " it isn't mine thing " . Feel better ! On to the next !
    I didn't even really want to be his girl, I told him this. I've actually told him multiple times I like being single, but he would still talk about us going out sometime. it takes a lot for me to commit like that. We were just like best friends who banged.. never again ughhh
    -for a dreamer, night's the only time of day-

  16. #9
    Veteran Member littlelizard's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2014
    Posts
    368
    Thanks
    359
    Thanked 470 Times in 194 Posts

    Default Re: Why waste my time? *vent*

    I'm sorry you had to go through all of that, he is a major scumbag. You are much better without him.

  17. The Following User Says Thank You to littlelizard For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. Why do we waste time worrying about others?
    By Christina2013 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 04-09-2015, 01:29 PM
  2. MGF IM - a complete waste of time!
    By MissKatie in forum Camming Connection
    Replies: 67
    Last Post: 11-29-2011, 11:31 AM
  3. A waste of time?? HELP!
    By cutey5032 in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-05-2007, 03:44 PM
  4. if you want to waste some time...
    By Mia M in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 06-12-2007, 01:26 AM
  5. A totally fun way to waste time
    By Susan Wayward in forum Political Poo
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 06-28-2005, 09:38 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •