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Thread: Clients finding me on facebook!

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    Angry Clients finding me on facebook!

    I use a separate name and phone (which I pay cash for) and email for work. I have so far had two clients friend request me on facebook. When i asked how they found me they said facebook suggested it. I also had a never before seen potential client text me on my work phone and refer to me by my real name. This is very frustrating to me. I value my privacy and prefer to remain anonymous.

    Any ideas on how to prevent this or why this is happening?

  2. #2
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    This happened to me with at least one client. I never asked him how he did it since he hasn't seen me in ages and I ignored the friend request. The only thing I can think of is that I have his number saved in my phone and I use the facebook app on my phone. With the intricate way things connect nowadays, I would totally believe that even using a google voice number and separate email than anything I use on facebook would still turn me up if the number I have saved in my phone for him is the number on his facebook account - if that makes sense. Essentially, if facebook thinks you know each other because you have the phone number saved in your phone that he's using on his account, it thinks you're "friends." This is pretty much the only thing I could think of.
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    yea, the only thing i can think of is maybe because, even though i have a different email for work, it is still on my same gmail account and i use both emails on my same computer. maybe facebook has therefore connected me as the same person and is suggesting me as a friend to clients??... so annoying!

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Social media and apps like whatsapp are VERY aggressive in making connections between people. You might not even remember doing so, but somewhere along the line you gave these apps permission to read your contacts, it connected your real name to your fake name to your clients contact info and call/email records, and started popping up suggestions.

    What I did, at least as a minimal defense, is change all my social media pictures to be NOT MY FACE, so when someone gets me in their list as a suggestion, they can't just look at the picture and connect it to my real name. I also have all my mobile communication apps -- whatsapp, kik, etc. -- to not be my real name, because again, these apps will let someone connect your real name with the fake persona. My Facebook and other accounts are filled with suggestions for connections with strippers whose real names I now know, whether I wanted to or not, because I can see their pictures in the suggestion lists.

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    "The only thing I can think of is that I have his number saved in my phone and I use the facebook app on my phone."

    "it is still on my same gmail account and i use both emails on my same computer."

    Both gmail and facebook actively search for phone numbers, names, email addresses and other items of information to grow networks. Carefully go through the settings of every app you use to shut down as much sharing as possible. Further, log out of anything before logging into anything sex work related. Privacy has to be actively sought from every app you are using: the default is share and connect (grab/grab/grab).

    Also, you sound like you have a handle on security otherwise, but the horror stories I've heard from sex workers over the years have often come from sharing what they thought was inconsequential information, town you once lived or went to school, former work, stores they frequent. I honestly believe every sex worker should only convey persona information and never any actual information. The tiniest bit of real information is enough for driven people to track down real identities.

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Did you Like the page or group of your club? There are pages written for guys about how to find strippers and that is one way. You can often see the friends list if the Club you dance at has a group page that acts more like a "persons" Facebook then just a fan page. Also, if you are friends with bartenders/bouncers/managers/DJ's that give out their real names, they could easily look them up, and go through THEIR friend's list to find you.

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    Veteran Member LilLadyLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    It's amazing what you can get googling a person's name and work place too, I've been dared to see what I could get on people and I've used first initials and a workplace and found the guys ex wife.

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    Veteran Member red.velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    This is why it is UNSAFE to use Google Voice! I repeat, it is UNSAFE to use Google Voice! Why? The clients on Google Voice are saved in your own contacts, and Facebook uses an algorithm of who is in your phone book for suggestions. Even if you never log into facebook from your phone, it will still figure out who you are through other apps like gmail and through your contacts.

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Facebook is the devil for anyone trying to keep privacy.

    Numerous webcam ladies have complained on here how they've been outed because of social media like Facebook Twitter etc. so a lot of them don't have personal social media accounts to keep the chance of being outed using social media to a minimum.

    The best way to protect your privacy - get rid of your personal social media accounts.

    If you must keep them to connect with say your long lost grandmother then do like Radius mentioned before - keep your face off/obscure your face from any pics you upload (especially public photos like profile and cover photos), never use your personal data like your real phone number/address, make sure to log out of your account when finished browsing the site, etc.

    I'm with the others. You may have inadvertently gave him your number/email and had that same info connected to your Facebook account. Or vice versa; if you saved his number/email to your contacts - Facebook scanned your contacts and assumed y'all know each other.

    Also disconnect Facebook from your smart phone setting so it won't scan your contacts. And don't use the Facebook app (you're forced to give Facebook access to your contacts, and all other sorts of personal data) If you need to use Facebook do it from a secure web browser either in icognito mode or using a vpn
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    ^ Really ? Ugh. One of my massage guys found me and I'm SO careful that I couldn't figure it out. I'll just take my photo off in case more get me as a " suggestion " while I figure it out.
    I think this is kind of new because GV worked so well for years for me.

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    Veteran Member red.velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    ^ Really ? Ugh. One of my massage guys found me and I'm SO careful that I couldn't figure it out. I'll just take my photo off in case more get me as a " suggestion " while I figure it out.
    I think this is kind of new because GV worked so well for years for me.
    It is a new feature.

  19. #12
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    It's happened to me a few times I saw club customers, dancers, and the old dj on my "friend you might know list" I was like hell naw Facebook I don't know those people lol!

    Oh and anytime unwanted people pop up in your "friends you might know" list - find a way to see if y'all have mutual friends (without clicking through to their profile if possible cause then you may come up on their radar) then BLOCK their a$$ and any mutual friends.

    For more details on how Facebook suggest 'friends/people you may know" check this out https://m.facebook.com/notes/faceboo...ow/15610312130
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 04-01-2016 at 04:55 PM.
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    no facebook app

    max privacy on facebook[hah]

    if using facebook or google for screening log out of everything, or create a fake name, tied only to a unique facebook only email [[email protected]] that you log into for screening

    use only private browsing mode when doing sex work stuff

    use different browsers for different parts of your life

    never gmail, use a sex work only email, and never give it your cell for verification

    lie about everything to everyone. no real birthday, no mothers maiden name

    I have a feeling that if you got a work cell, and let it have the facebook app, and google mail etc etc it might be somewhat safe since it might start to 'believe' that the identity is a 'person'

    My ATF who has quit dancing and is being clean and all good, another dancer told me how they keep up on facebook. Looked her up on FB, bam, real name of every dancer in the club.

    Oh, and since I was not careful, FB is emailing me, do you know.....

    your security is only as good as your worst friend.

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    I remember the first time I went through my iPhone contacts list, and noticed that several of my Facebook friends' names AND their phone numbers were right there in my contacts list. I was like wtf...do all these people even realize that I (and most likely others) have their phone number?
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Wow, guess I need to switch over from google voice and gmail. Bummer

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    This thread has totally helped me / saved me so many future headaches!!!
    I'm still not sure how to " unlink " it all but I have a scenic photo up and the page locked down tight now while I learn. Thx for the links!

    I've already used FB less and less and might just stop . Ugh.

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    OMG, I had this happen to me at the strip club a few times now, guys found me on fb I danced with, NEVER and i repeat NEVER gave these guys my phone number and I don't put my real name on fb so how n the fuuuuck did they find me!!?? Only thing I can think of is our phones mustve been close enough to each other and Facebook picked that up n put me in there people you may know list, wtf!? Any other clues would be great.. This one guy keeps on messaging me everyday, I've never responded, what a psycho

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Do you have any dancer friends added on Facebook? Did you enter your city/hometown in Facebook?
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Search Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Make sure your Facebook settings are as private as possible. Only friends of friends should be able to contact you, if some guy you don't know Contacts you, see if you have a friend in common and then block them both. That friend may be very easily searchable/comfortable sharing social media/ etc and you bring friends puts you at risk. Keep your NFC/Bluetooth/smartshare beam off when your at the club, just in case. If your really having problems, go with a profile pic that doesnt have your face. After a stalkeruly ex. Boyfriend I had a friend record my voice mail message and I never answer numbers I don't know. Does that confuse people? One person once, I really don't have that big of a desire to talk to anyone that doesn't know me well enough to know that about me though. I seriously JUST did my privacy settings, looked again for this convo, and discovered anyone can search for me by phone number. Screenshot_2016-04-02-21-15-21.jpg

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Quote Originally Posted by ava$ View Post
    OMG, I had this happen to me at the strip club a few times now, guys found me on fb I danced with, NEVER and i repeat NEVER gave these guys my phone number and I don't put my real name on fb so how n the fuuuuck did they find me!!?? Only thing I can think of is our phones mustve been close enough to each other and Facebook picked that up n put me in there people you may know list, wtf!? Any other clues would be great.. This one guy keeps on messaging me everyday, I've never responded, what a psycho
    I'd just block him if I were you. I mean, yeah, you could do the whole 'calmly ask him to please not message you on FB' thing, but then you might have to deal with a bunch of back and forth convo with him, and having to explain to the knucklehead why it's uncool for him to message you. Plus some of these guys have no respect for a woman's boundaries and won't let you alone the first time you ask. So I would just block him simply because I wouldn't want anyone connected to me adult industry-wise having access to me on my PERSONAL FB account.
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Oh, and 'location services' turn them off. Yeah it is a PITA to have to confirm every time you want to get directions, but if your phone knows who you are, and where you are, it knows what you are doing. If you have 2 points of incidence with a person, I think the software will get over helpful. If another dancer gives her number to scary custy, and she has your number in her phone and all three of you spend time in the same building....you get the picture.

    These companies ought to create a 'I am subject to stalking' security profile you can one click, I mean it is bad for you ladies, can you imagine for actually famous people, how do they even have a phone?

    Not that you all aren't famous to me........

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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Whether we want them to or not, anything you own connected to the web all interacts together these days. Facebook is the WORST!!!! There are NO secrets, there is no way to hide on the WORLD WIDE WEB the U.S. gov has made damn sure of it.

    Don't have a fb account.

    Those guys thought nothing about over stepping boundaries, guess they would freak out if you posted y'all biz all over their fb accts. What if you friended their wives, boss, Mom? How nervous would they get. Why do y'all let them in any small way over step what is appropriate?

    Either dont' have anything personal on the web. Call your family & firends, go see them, be social with them in real life. Or if you do, clearly tell these guys off that they had no right to over step appropriate boundaries.

    I had to do it recently too, with someone I have not seen in 12 years. Don't be telling my biz to some new girl, name dropping me to get pussy. Cause she ran right to me. Told everyone they needed to keep my name out of their mouths.

    FB has NO financial interest in keep your life private. If I talk about a product with my computer or phone around, ads for that product start popping up on my FB acct. They are actively reading, listening, keeping tabs on you 24/7 and selling that information to anyone they can. They are way worst than the U.S. gov if they aren't in co-hoots with them. Go shopping at Target, then in amazement, when you check that FB acct when you get home. There will be ads for Target.

    Don't care what privacy setting you use, FB is NOT private. Twitter doesn't do any of that crap to me.

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  38. #23
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    It's more so Facebook than google voice. The app will read your phone data as soon as you link it before you even get a chance to turn the settings off. Giving your phone number to Facebook and allowing FB to read your contacts is the main way it makes connections. I refuse to put the app on my phone. Facebook also uses tracking cookies on your web browser (to target advertising) but it will also search for and find potential "contacts" in the process. I wouldn't be surprised if it continues to track after you log out of FB. Google also uses the trackers, but it does not by default link you to potential google contacts the same way that facebook does. You can disable targeted/relevant advertising on google.

    Using browser extensions like ghostery will show you what websites are tracking and allow you to disable them. Make sure you delete your browser history and clear your cache on your computer and phone regularly. Also, remember that Chrome does not have a feature to automatically delete browsing history, you must do it manually and across all devices. Logging in using a private browser for non-personal stuff is recommended.

    If you use google voice, you might want to consider disabling your personal address book/ contact list (associated with your personal email) so that it doesn't make all your contacts info available in the gv or hangouts app. However, as long as you disable the find me features in settings and you use an entirely separate email to create the google voice number, you're relatively secure from someone searching you via your gv info. A separate phone is the most secure, but keep in mind that if you use a separate smart phone (even a prepaid one) if you log onto your normal password protected wifi, that phone can still be traced with some hacking effort.
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    Default Re: Clients finding me on facebook!

    Relevant info- I tried making a page for my dancer alt & fb suspended it for "impersonating someone I am not" (long story short.) & On a super stupid note my old fb page for my last club I cannot get back into.....so it's just floating around fb forever. blah.

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