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Thread: things clients do to annoy

  1. #26
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    I saw one of my more annoying, high-maintenance regulars twice last week. He always tells me to "check his math" while he's on his way to the shower (as if I wasn't going to check it anyways...), and asks about it again while in the session, or while he's still in the shower. "Was my math okay?" FFS.

    On the first session last week, he tipped me for his first time ever. I told him, "your math was too good!" with a big smile on my face.

    Three days later, he's back, and asks me again about his "math". I told him it was just fine, and commented on the paper bills he'd included (Canada phased out paper bills a couple years back, they're not easy to find). Then he goes on to explain that he didn't realize that he'd tipped me "so well" the other day and that he didn't want me to feel that he was expecting anything extra in our last session and didn't want me to feel uncomfortable and because he accidentally overpaid he had to include the paper bills blah blah..... WAY TO MAKE ME SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE DUDE. Ugh.

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  3. #27
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    What does Canada use in place of paper money?

  4. #28
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    I was in Canada last year. Their money feels like a thin plastic film, it's waterproof, hard to tear etc.

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  6. #29
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Text you for any reason other than setting up an appointment, unless they are long-time regular that I don't mind communicating with.

    Confide that they love you and would like to begin a relationship.

    Mistake my very effective acting skills for actual, genuine pleasure and interest in him.

    Ask for discount because they are young or attractive.

    Try to remove condom mid-intercourse on the sly.

    Say I have the same name as their daughter, then, grin and hand me a wad of cash as they undress.

    Ask my real name and not accept when I lie to you (even though I give a normal fake "real" name).

    When they think they are a magical unicorn for wanting to go down on me like no one else has ever offered (I don't allow it with clients, and I think guys who pressure me to do it are so icky). Some workers are different, but I'm not in the industry to be pleasured. I perform my job and that's that. Occasionally, I will connect really well sexually with a client and genuinely enjoy the sex. But, I'm sick of 50 year old men who are so confident that I want them going down on me for "my pleasure."

    When they talk about their daughter's, who are the same age as me, post-coitus. Just casually mentioning how she is doing on the debate team. Like why the fuck would you find that a normal conversation topic?

    Being a virgin, lying about it, and denying even after I gently asked questions like, "it's ok if you don't have a lot of experience, do you want me to show you what feels good?" This is after them fucking me like a rabbit or something they saw in a porn. After appointment, he fell in love with me and texted me tons until I blocked his number. Sent me a fucking hand-written letter in the mail after that, which would have been embarrassing (for him) and hilarious if it wasn't for his insistence on our destiny together and some wedding ideas he had in the works, so it just became profoundly creepy and sad.

    Creepily finding my real name by finding a photo of me on my Universities website and then adding me on Linked In.

    Being fussy about the shower that I require him to take at the beginning of the appointment.. "I just showered before I came here" (reeks of B.O. offensively masked with cheap cologne). Just get in the shower for a few minutes so I can hide the money you just gave me and you don't smell disgusting and I don't fear you'll rob me or something.

    Offering to barter for my services when I have no need for what you are offering. NO, I do not want to trade you sex for you printing shitty business cards for me. I actually designed and printed my own business cards previously and they were classy. This guy was just completely ridiculous. Shows up for appt and decides that is the appropriate time to let me know he has no cash, however, would love to give me an amazing deal on some business cards for myself! Appeared genuinely confused when I burst out laughing and just asked him to leave. He didn't make a fuss, and just left but WTF

    When they acknowledge very clear and firm boundaries that I have (No DATY, Condoms for everything, no anal or anything near my ass, no fingering, rarely kissing and never for first-time clients, etc.) and then try to sweet talk me into breaking them or convincing me that my problem is that I just have never been with someone sexually talented enough to pleasure me, so I should just let them try. I have a shit ton of rules, always have and I don't break them. I don't have a bitchy personality, but I certainly have a lot of rules and don't do nearly half the shit their wives do. They seem confused that I am not "seeking pleasure" from them. I am seeking your money, you gigantic fool.

    Contacting me about making an appt, then being fussy about my rates. I don't advertise anymore because I have many generous regulars that I can rely on if I need money, but omg when I was first starting out, guys were completely ridiculous about my rates. Look at my ad, see my photos, see my rates, if you don't find me attractive or don't think I'm worth the rate, then move on. Don't fucking contact me and try to haggle me down. I don't care that I charge way more than some girls. If you don't want to pay it, then just go away.

    Show up incredibly drunk or high (bonus points if you drove to the appt) and then freak out when I ask you to leave because you are acting unstable.

    Ask me to procure you drugs or underage girls... you know, like a cop would.


    Hmmmm, this is fun, I'll try to remember other super lovely client encounters! Yay!

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  8. #30
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    - "I wish I had met you when I was in college." Ew I was 3 years old back then!
    - Asking me to go out for uncompensated dates. Why would I want to hang out with an uninteresting 50-year-old for free? I have friends, no thanks!

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  10. #31
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    "I know you don't do anal, but I have a small penis so I thought maybe..."

    "You know, I have a strapon and dong in the trunk, just in case you know you wanna fuck my ass." So, this was not discussed prior to our appointment or even in when I saw you in the past. You paid for vanilla and you will only get vanila.

    "You seem so normal and down to earth. Why are you doing this?" Depending on my mood, how I feel about the client and if it's pre or post sex I have 3 responses that I like to choose from:
    1. I'm really a sex fiend, like I have to have it all the time. I literally need it. I also need money too so this is the best of both worlds.
    2. I like helping people. It makes me feel good physically and mentally to satisfy guys in need of TLC.
    3. You see, I'm in training to become head goddess of this sex cult. You ever heard of Sacred Prostitution?


    I've had 2 potential Aussie clients that bothered me to no end...Constantly texting even after I told them I wasn't going to respond to any more of their texts unless it was regarding their appointment. I don't know if thats a cultural thing? They booked ahead of time and text me every 3-4 hours till I finally said nah bruh, can't do this.

    Assume that I will spend an hour attempting to get their flaccid penis hard when it's clearly not a psychological issue that we're working through. Either leave the drugs at home or consider taking different drugs. Either way, I will not "keep trying".
    I have the misfortune to believe neither in promises nor in fidelity. ~Marie Duplessis

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  12. #32
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Young clients who get obviously drunk and text me at 11pm asking if I'm available last minute. No... I don't know what goes through some people's heads that they seem to think I perpetually sit around my apartment looking perfectly done up and am primped and primed to just fly out the door at a moment's notice, even if I didn't expect to have an appointment. I don't work in an agency or brothel where I'm "on the clock" to be picked at certain hours.

    I also get that these are people I've seen before, but come on, dude. I'm a professional. Not your Friday night booty call.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

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  14. #33
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Overstaying their time! Had a couple of guys who it was really hard to get them to put their clothes back on when their time was up-I don't mind giving an extra 5-10 minutes sometimes if it's a good client, but some guys would totally take advantage and try to stay for 90 minutes for the price of 1 hour, for example.

    Making me ask for the donation-it makes me uncomfortable and ruins the mood-I like it when they just lay the envelope in plain sight wihtout me having to ask for it.

    Being super picky in reviews, i.e. "She looked a little heavier than her pictures, but I still had a great time." When I was maybe 5 lbs. heavier than my pics at the very most.

    Being too rough during oral and trying to roughly face fuck me and yank my head down too aggressively-hated that!






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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Haaaa I had some dude text me, asking for gfe and bb everything it took me a min too figure out what bb was.But when the light-bulb went off I kindly told him I provided neither service and to go over my website.Same idiot texts a month later saying the same thing, so I said sorry I don't provide those services but my MALE escort friend doesn't mind accommodating you.He'll be sending you plenty of dick pics to enjoy shortly.He responded with wtf.And I blew up his number with tons of big dick pics off the net lol.Needless to say I never heard from him again.Seriously I make sure to put in bold letters body-rub only read ffs.

    I hate when clients get pushy or start feeling a sense of entitlement.I can't stand guys that don't understand the meaning of no! I had a client mid-session offer me 1g for sex, brought it in cash too I'm like really dude.I was trying to think of all kinds of upgrades to get that grand though lol mutual shower,b2b he wasn't going for it though He said sex or or your reg rate.I went with my reg rate of course. Jacka** he was.
    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    I can't stand when they send me an email or text message asking,"Do you do __________(insert whatever sex act)?" (I only offer body rubs, not full service). Today I had some idiot send me a text at 3am that said, "gfe bareback. $100. good?". It was annoying enough that he sent me a text at 3am like that. It was even more annoying that he kept calling. I have my hours of availability listed in my ad and mention that I will not respond outside of the hours. He sent that same exact text a half hour later and again at 6am. I blocked his number. Super annoying.
    Last edited by Obsession91; 09-12-2016 at 02:16 PM.

  17. #35
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Quote Originally Posted by PyrrhicFallout View Post
    Text you for any reason other than setting up an appointment, unless they are long-time regular that I don't mind communicating with.

    Confide that they love you and would like to begin a relationship.

    Mistake my very effective acting skills for actual, genuine pleasure and interest in him.

    Ask for discount because they are young or attractive.

    Try to remove condom mid-intercourse on the sly.

    Say I have the same name as their daughter, then, grin and hand me a wad of cash as they undress.

    Ask my real name and not accept when I lie to you (even though I give a normal fake "real" name).

    When they think they are a magical unicorn for wanting to go down on me like no one else has ever offered (I don't allow it with clients, and I think guys who pressure me to do it are so icky). Some workers are different, but I'm not in the industry to be pleasured. I perform my job and that's that. Occasionally, I will connect really well sexually with a client and genuinely enjoy the sex. But, I'm sick of 50 year old men who are so confident that I want them going down on me for "my pleasure."

    When they talk about their daughter's, who are the same age as me, post-coitus. Just casually mentioning how she is doing on the debate team. Like why the fuck would you find that a normal conversation topic?

    Being a virgin, lying about it, and denying even after I gently asked questions like, "it's ok if you don't have a lot of experience, do you want me to show you what feels good?" This is after them fucking me like a rabbit or something they saw in a porn. After appointment, he fell in love with me and texted me tons until I blocked his number. Sent me a fucking hand-written letter in the mail after that, which would have been embarrassing (for him) and hilarious if it wasn't for his insistence on our destiny together and some wedding ideas he had in the works, so it just became profoundly creepy and sad.

    Creepily finding my real name by finding a photo of me on my Universities website and then adding me on Linked In.

    Being fussy about the shower that I require him to take at the beginning of the appointment.. "I just showered before I came here" (reeks of B.O. offensively masked with cheap cologne). Just get in the shower for a few minutes so I can hide the money you just gave me and you don't smell disgusting and I don't fear you'll rob me or something.

    Offering to barter for my services when I have no need for what you are offering. NO, I do not want to trade you sex for you printing shitty business cards for me. I actually designed and printed my own business cards previously and they were classy. This guy was just completely ridiculous. Shows up for appt and decides that is the appropriate time to let me know he has no cash, however, would love to give me an amazing deal on some business cards for myself! Appeared genuinely confused when I burst out laughing and just asked him to leave. He didn't make a fuss, and just left but WTF

    When they acknowledge very clear and firm boundaries that I have (No DATY, Condoms for everything, no anal or anything near my ass, no fingering, rarely kissing and never for first-time clients, etc.) and then try to sweet talk me into breaking them or convincing me that my problem is that I just have never been with someone sexually talented enough to pleasure me, so I should just let them try. I have a shit ton of rules, always have and I don't break them. I don't have a bitchy personality, but I certainly have a lot of rules and don't do nearly half the shit their wives do. They seem confused that I am not "seeking pleasure" from them. I am seeking your money, you gigantic fool.

    Contacting me about making an appt, then being fussy about my rates. I don't advertise anymore because I have many generous regulars that I can rely on if I need money, but omg when I was first starting out, guys were completely ridiculous about my rates. Look at my ad, see my photos, see my rates, if you don't find me attractive or don't think I'm worth the rate, then move on. Don't fucking contact me and try to haggle me down. I don't care that I charge way more than some girls. If you don't want to pay it, then just go away.

    Show up incredibly drunk or high (bonus points if you drove to the appt) and then freak out when I ask you to leave because you are acting unstable.

    Ask me to procure you drugs or underage girls... you know, like a cop would.


    Hmmmm, this is fun, I'll try to remember other super lovely client encounters! Yay!
    awesome list! i'm getting back into it and have a question:

    when do you let them know that DATY etc. is off limits? you don't put it in your ad, do you?



    also, my personal add to the list

    -thinking they are so clever and your life story (where you are from, etc) is fake because you don't have an accent/don't look like girls from there. uggghh i get that all the time and am starting to think i should lie and say I'm american since nobody seems to believe me anyways

  18. #36
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Quote Originally Posted by AubreyDabi View Post
    Text you all times of night telling you they want to date you, for free.
    Yes! or the occasional marriage proposal text lol.

  19. #37
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Guys... If you're gonna ping a provider to ask for her availability, when she responds, even if none of the times/days she gives you work, ANSWER and just say so. I have several clients who pop up about once every two months, ask what my availability looks like, and after I've taken the time to send them every chunk of available time I have for the next week, if they don't book (which is like 90% of the time), they just disappear... Ok, our schedules won't always coordinate, but just take the 10 seconds to say that none of those times work for you and you'll try again some other time! It's so rude to just stop responding. You're talking to a real life person on the other end of the computer/phone, not calling an automated service for movie times or something.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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  21. #38
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Guys... If you're gonna ping a provider to ask for her availability, when she responds, even if none of the times/days she gives you work, ANSWER and just say so. I have several clients who pop up about once every two months, ask what my availability looks like, and after I've taken the time to send them every chunk of available time I have for the next week, if they don't book (which is like 90% of the time), they just disappear... Ok, our schedules won't always coordinate, but just take the 10 seconds to say that none of those times work for you and you'll try again some other time! It's so rude to just stop responding. You're talking to a real life person on the other end of the computer/phone, not calling an automated service for movie times or something.
    I was just coming on here to post the same thing!! I've stopped emailing them back. They never book. They also do this when they don't want to be screened. I don't get it though. Why keep coming back every few months just to be told the same thing?
    I once had this guy change his email several times within a couple days after asking for his info to screen him. I copied & pasted the same message to every email he sent and his response was to make a new email account and try again.

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  23. #39
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Negotiators. The bitterness of bad service will last longer than the thrill of a low price.

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  25. #40
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    I don't understand guys who don't understand why a provider would want to be paid for going on trips with them.... They get so offended and ranty - "Isn't it enough that I paid for the flight, hotel, and food! Isn't it enough that I offered to pay for you to go on a nice vacation!?"

    Umm... no... because you aren't paying for me to go on vacation - you are paying for me to WORK.

    If a company sent you on a business trip, and they pay for the flight, hotel, and maybe some of your meals... but they obviously expect you to be in meetings for 2 days straight.... how would you feel if you didn't get PAID for the work you did while there? What if the company was just like, "What? You want us to PAY you for going to business meetings for 2 days? Isn't it enough that we're essentially paying for you to go on vacation somewhere and we're footing the bill for your flight, hotel, and food?" You'd be like "Uh... fuck no. I want to be paid for WORKING too." Like, no shit.

    When you ask a provider to go on a trip with you, you're not "paying for her to go on vacation." You're paying her to work for you for several days straight. She doesn't get to dress how she wants, act how she wants, go exactly wherever she wants - she has to be on her work persona pretty much 24/7, entertaining you, acting upbeat even if she's tired, acting interested even if she's bored, going wherever you want to go, and obviously having sex on that trip whenever you feel like it, even if she doesn't. Sure, she can enjoy being in a new place and find some parts fun and interesting and maybe even get some time to herself, just like someone on a business trip could also experience those things while on a business trip somewhere else. But it's a still a fucking business trip. And you still expect to get paid - SO DOES SHE.

    For the life of me, I do not understand how some men don't fucking get that. Yeah, it's expensive. Think about what you're asking for... Duh.

    If you want a girl to travel with you and boink you for nothing more than her airfare and the fact that you're sharing a bed in the same hotel room you would've paid for anyway, find a cheap, naive sugar baby who doesn't know any better... But don't get mad at a professional escort for not taking you up on your "generous" offer. Considering how much one usually makes in an hour, you're essentially offering maybe 3-4 hours worth of compensation within that "airfare, hotel, food" package and expecting - what? An entire weekend of her devoted attention? Come on now.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 11-21-2016 at 07:39 AM.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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  27. #41
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Yes and YES! ^^^ clients are totally baffled that I wouldn't want to go hang out with them, for free ... it's not a vacation when I am waking up and having to perform like a circus monkey each day. So compensate me appropriately xo

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  29. #42
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Massage Parlor annoyances .....

    ( to set the tone, this is my last few days in town and my customers know this )

    I had to cut off a customer before even meeting ! It was for my FAVORITE annoying reason .... being too high maintenance before even meeting.
    Dude .... catch a hint . When I calmly tell you that we are on for 5 p.m. but your multiple texts are confusing to my booker ..... maybe STOP texting and just smoothly SHOW UP at your appointment time.

    ( customer has already been blocked ..... for sending a couple more texts )

    Sometimes they just can't help themselves. I am definitely not seeing anyone this obnoxious . I've got other cash irons in the fire.

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  31. #43
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    I have this one domme custy who tries to do everything he can to come to my house. He's never been to a personal residence of mine but he tries to find all the excuses he can as to why he NEEDS to come over.

    I've told him I have a female roommate who often works from home doing computer programming work and has 2 special needs dogs so she is home a lot (none of which is true) but he still is like PLEASE I will pay her to be gone!!!

    It's just so creepy and I think I'm going to axe him completely even though he's been very generous and is an easy client. He is just pushy and wants to be apart of my personal life so bad.

    Anyone deal with a client like this? What did you end up doing?

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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    I've just noticed certain things start to annoy me.. When clients sit next to you and light up their cig placing it on the ash tray so smoke directly hits your face. Long talkers who tend to get creepy after a bit, without tipping.. Thankfully I was rescued by some amazing workers, otherwise I would had wore my empty cups as ear muffs.

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    Hate it when a client wants you to tell them how they are in bed...if there dick size measured up to my standards..and if i enjoyed it.

    Uh...I'm here for a purpose. So "yea you're good in bed". Those are few and far between. And "yea your dick fits me just right". Again, few and far between.

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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    I have this one client I blacklisted a year ago because he wanted to fuck bare (he was suggestive rather than ask outright so he can always deny it) and he has contacted me several times since, txt message, email, review forum. I just started being active again on a certain site and he's hit me up twice this week. I just want him to go away ffs.

    I have a reg client who thinks he's hilarious but he tells very bad jokes. Today he texts me that he's broke from xmas shopping and he wants to "do some bartering" winkwink. Pretty sure he's joking but he couldn't be less funny.

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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Endless requests for bareback.
    Bragging about dick size (as if it changes the arrangement)
    Negotiators

    ...in that order

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  39. #48
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Asking me anything bareback. You a nasty motherfucker if you even think of getting with an escort unprotected.
    Telling me I charge too much. I charge the average price for the area, you just don't know shit bout hooking.
    Put downs/ bad advice. "You're a little big to be doing this/charging that much" "Maybe if you did outcalls you'd make more money" a good face can make the chubby thing work. I don't trust outcalls, I have my shit set up the way I want it to for a reason.
    Trying to take me out of "the game". I CHOSE to be an escort. I actually enjoy what I do. And no I don't want to go on a date with your broke ass.
    Asking for trades. I'm doing this for money, not drugs or a tattoo.

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  41. #49
    God/dess indiegirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Some guy asked me for greek, cum on face, and pissing on my face. Another asked for snowballing....... which is transferring his cum to each others mouth. I almost dry heaved when I had to google what the hell snow balling was LOL.

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  43. #50
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: things clients do to annoy

    Quote Originally Posted by indiegirl View Post
    Some guy asked me for greek, cum on face, and pissing on my face. Another asked for snowballing....... which is transferring his cum to each others mouth. I almost dry heaved when I had to google what the hell snow balling was LOL.
    TMI Storytime: I had a guy ask for snowballing a long time ago. I was like ok, weird, but if you want me to spit back into your mouth instead of into a towel or swallowing it, then that's on you dude lol

    Then when the moment came, I got ready to do it and he suddenly backed out and was like "No! No! I changed my mind!" and skirted away from me..... So I was just SITTING THERE with it in my fucking mouth like wtf, dude?? So I had to wait for him to jump up and go get a towel, and I was so pissed, because if he wasn't gonna go through with the snowballing, he should have had that ready, not made me sit there with his load in my mouth! That was gross.

    He kept trying to schedule with me again, saying over and over "You have to make me snowball this time!"

    No.

    I do not advertise myself as some hard-ass domme. If you want to do something, fine, we'll do it, but I'm not gonna fight you on it, with a load of cum in my mouth, while you literally try to run away from me. Either you want to do it or you don't, or you need to hire someone who is into the sexual domme stuff.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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