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Thread: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

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    Default When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    I finally found a solution that works for me.
    "You have great lips, I want to too, but I have celiacs disease."
    "I could wind up in the hospital if you've eaten bread or drank beer in the past 48 hrs."
    -I did wind up in the hospital after a customer sneaky kissed me when my eyes were closed, I got the flu on steroids and was sick for 3 weeks.

    When a guy gropes under your dress after turning down a dance:
    Stand up, take off clothes, start airdancing, that's $20!


    What are other problems you encounter and how do you deal?

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    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Just say no to that shit. Any customer worth anything is going to understand why you don't want to kiss him. Jesus.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Quote Originally Posted by tatiana_vislovic View Post
    I finally found a solution that works for me.
    "You have great lips, I want to too, but I have celiacs disease."
    "I could wind up in the hospital if you've eaten bread or drank beer in the past 48 hrs."
    -I did wind up in the hospital after a customer sneaky kissed me when my eyes were closed, I got the flu on steroids and was sick for 3 weeks.

    When a guy gropes under your dress after turning down a dance:
    Stand up, take off clothes, start airdancing, that's $20!


    What are other problems you encounter and how do you deal?
    You're going to have to get used to being rude to rude people who refuse to take no for an answer. It's an unpleasant reality of the job.
    “What a caterpillar calls the end of the world we call a butterfly.” - ECKHART TOLLE

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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    I like the idea of coming up with cute one-liners to turn customers down without making them feel like lepers...but honestly, there are better ways to do this. "I have a disease" isn't sexy, and it doesn't get at the many other legitimate, less random reasons why you can't kiss him.

    Something like "I bet you're a fantastic kisser...but kissing is very special for me, and I hardly know you yet!" can motivate a sale.

    That said, as was mentioned above, usually these guys are time-wasting customers who are looking for illegal services. If you have the energy for it, go ahead and try to sell to them, but they likely won't be back once they realize that you don't and won't offer those services.


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    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Quote Originally Posted by RubberRagDoll View Post
    It's sad that we feel like we owe any man an explanation for not wanting to do something.
    Saying no is not rude. We have been taught that it's rude and we should comply to the will of man, but fuck that.
    Even if they have paid for your time, you are allowed to say no.
    I totally agree. My only "devil's advocate" thought on this is that at work, our only goal is to make the sale (without compromising our boundaries). It isn't our job to overthrow the patriarchy, teach customers about rape culture, etc. So if there's a way to get these guys to pay up without crossing our boundaries and without promising illegal acts...that's the way I'd go.

    That said, you NEVER have to give reasons for not doing such things. You might lose the sale by just saying "No," or you might still get the sale. Who knows. My only thing is to try to maximize the chances that money ends up in my pocket.

    Waste very little time on these guys. If there are other prospects in the club, they're more worthy of your time and energy.

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    Featured Member rareaspasia's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Tell them you have herpes.

    But seriously just say no or that you're not allowed. I do kiss guys on the cheek, though.

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    I tell them I will get in trouble because of all the hidden cameras and tell them how "a girl got fired last week for making out w a customer" sooooo sorryy ((((( lmao

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    Veteran Member LilLadyLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    I blame alot of things on "the bouncers" because I make more money that way. When saying "don't do that" I can see an instant change in my customers body language and they almost never get another dance.

    When I giggle and day "we can't, we'll get in trrrouble!" it becomes an us vs. them.

    I worry however that I'm imbuing bad manners on these guys. I have to live in hope that they separate fantasy playground from reality. In a bar or something I would loose my freekin' mind if a guy just grabbed me (which has happened), but I suppose no women are randomly sitting on their laps in panties IRL either...
    "Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."
    -John Maxwell Taylor

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Never let your face get close enough for them to plant one on you.

    Never close your eyes.

    You don't owe anyone an explanation when they are the ones who are acting inappropriate, unsanitary & crossing boundaries. Only a predator wants to know why so he can have another chance at crossing your boundaries again.

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    For me it's always with customers during dances, the $30/song customers about 3-5 songs in ALWAYS say something along the lines of "I just want to kiss you."
    In the past I've smiled and said, "I can't, I'll get fired."
    The response is normally that they look around and say, no-one will see us.
    It worked so much better when I complemented the guy and said I had a bread allergy (which is a real thing) one of the guys is one I've danced for many times in the past and he still bought it.
    I let some kiss my cheek or neck if we're close and I know them, and I play with their beard and run my fingers along their arms/hands, in their hair so guys just relax and forget that I can't kiss or be more intimate.

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    Featured Member Girl Anachronism's Avatar
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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    if someone wants to kiss or lick me i first try to be flirty and dodge it.. say it's not allowed, i'll get in trouble, etc. if they keep trying to push it i tell them that i don't kiss strangers in a cutesy way. if THAT doesn't work.. i say something along the lines of "what if i said yes? that means i'm kissing/getting licked by every guy who asks. do you really want to kiss/lick something that 50 other guys just kissed/licked?". the look of horror and disgust that comes over their faces as they suddenly realize this fact is priceless. they never want more dances after that but who cares. i don't want to dance for someone that's trying to slobber all over me, not work it. blech.

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    Duh Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Some guys like the element of danger and the fact they could get in trouble, so asking for typically "forbidden" things like kissing in the club (yuk) is exciting for them.

    Anytime I used the excuse of Id get in trouble or the cameras are watching, these pervs would not care.

    I just say no (no explanation or excuse just NO) because a real customer should know not to ask for kissing but some of these dancers act so desperate, they'll oblige and this sets the tone and lowers the bar for everyone.

    I refuse to kiss in the club because it's dark and not always easy to see if a guy has lesions around his mouth or know if he's got flu or mono or some other contagious illness so I tell them no I don't kiss and if they press the issue I say I had my wisdom teeth removed or I just had oral surgery etc.

    Like sam 38 g mentioned beware of your surroundings as some men will try and force / sneak and kiss you without warning or asking.

    And a guy groping you under your dress after turning down a dance deserves to be punished. I'd tell the bouncers and try to get him kicked out or try to get him blackballed from all the other dancers.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 04-22-2016 at 07:58 PM.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    Sometimes being rude isn't a bad thing, like that situation

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    When a guy asks for a kiss, he's asking from the 'right side' of his brain. The side of his brain that is also triggered emotionally to spend money on you.

    When you turn the guy down using a 'left-brain' reason (I have a disease, you have a disease, whatever), you're risking taking him from that spend-spend-spend mentality into the logical, rational side of his mind. So brushing off his request with a sexy, "Oooh, you're so BAD!!" and changing the subject could be an option. Or a "I bet you're an increeedible kisser...you have such sensual lips...::touch his lips with your fingers::..." Basically, anything that keeps the focus on your emotional or physical connection and keeps him from thinking with the 'left side' of his brain.

    That is 100% just my perspective. Coming up with a reason that keeps him in the emotional spending zone is the best way to go, IMO.

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    Default Re: When a guy wants a kiss and you don't want to be rude!

    "Kissing is something personal to me, no offense but I don't kiss ppl at work".

    Simple and to the point.

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