I hope this is in the correct forum. I've tried to make this post as short as possible without losing the context.
I think I should mention first that I'm not a regular at strip clubs, so it's not a scene I'm familiar with and this is why I came here for advice (but I will also contribute where I can).
That said, I was out with some friends at a strip club a few months ago. While there I was approached by a dancer (I'll call her "Dee") after I had got bottle service. She talked with me for about an hour and I REALLY liked talking to her, but I knew her time is money so I told her that I would buy some dances since I know she's working (it was just me and her at my table at that point since the others departed).
After two dances she offered the VIP but I told her I honestly couldn't afford it since I had spent about $500 at that point (I'm not a high roller, just a normal dude with a normal salary). I expected her to excuse herself and seek other business, but she kept talking and coming back to continue talking with me whenever she was called away. Taking that as a signal that she might want me to ask her out, I did. She gave me her number and told me to text her and she'll give me her real name. I texted, and she replied to my text right away that night.
I texted her again the next day to make some small talk before setting up a date and she kind of dropped the dialogue mid-conversation and I waited a week but no reply. I then thought that she wasn't that interested and I didn't text her again until a few weeks later. I texted to ask how she was doing, but she didn't reply. I then texted her the next day and asked "are you working tonight?". She replied that she was debating going in, so I asked her to meet me and she agreed and we went out that night.
We've been out twice so far, and both times she invited me her place. I took her on actual dates where I paid (although she offered to split) because I wanted to show her that I am interested in seeing her on a fairly regular basis (meaning at least once a month, but ideally more often), but not seeing her as a customer but as an actual romantic interest.
On both dates we had oral sex, but "Dee" insisted that we not have full on sex because we'd only gone out two times. I'm OK with that, and I wouldn't have run off if we had went all the way. It's been about 4 weeks since she's replied to any of my texts and we'd gone out. I basically text her once a week to try to setup a date for the weekend or the next week.
I'm thinking maybe I moved too fast on sleeping together, but I'm hoping it's just that she's very busy (which I know she is actually, just wondering why she doesn't just send a quick text?). I didn't pressure her to have sex. It just flowed that way I just kept going until she she stopped the progression.
I sent her a text saying "Hey I know you're busy. I understand because I worked long hours for 10 years and it's only now that I have a lot of free time. Was hoping we could go out this week. Either way, get back to me when you can and keep doing your thing". I sent that text about 10 days ago and she hasn't replied.
If I were to ask my male friends, they'd say to forget about her and just let her get back to me, but I asked a female friend who's a very attractive bartender/model what she thought , and she basically said that she gets hit on all the time and the guys she was interested in often give up too quickly because she takes a while to text them back. I've NEVER thought about it this way before because I was always advised that you should stop calling/texting/asking out someone who's not responding within a few days to your invites. But she said that since she works a lot and at the end of the shift she's got tons of texts to catch up with so unless you text her at the exact time she's looking she probably won't get around to getting back to you unless you are someone she's already close friends with.
Basically, my bartender friend told me that if "Dee" was willing to go out with me at all, and she hasn't directly told me that she's no longer interested, then I'm overreacting and should keep pursuing her.
I'd like some feedback about this from other dancers because I would like to avoid dropping the ball. I'd rather try too hard then do too little. Thanks in advance.


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