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Thread: More insight into the male psyche please

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    Featured Member wish's Avatar
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    Default More insight into the male psyche please

    I'll try to shorten this and be direct.

    So I was seeing a guy last year. I thought we were dating and he just went ghost on me. Well I've been on several dates and had a one night stand since him. That's been 6 months now and let's just say the weight of a man on top of me would be a welcomed change. Any way he text me out the blue. (I'm old enough to know a man coming back around is never a good thing) but I was courious. He told me he missed me and inherited some money and was having family trouble and had no luck dating. Stupid me told him I hadn't had much luck dating either. In all honesty it's more of a " I wasn't thinking of you but while you're here maybe you can help me out." He mentioned wanting to see me first and my dumb ass took it and ran with it thinking it ment that he wanted to fuck me. I told him I'd love for him to fuck me. Well he dragged this out for about 2 weeks before I caught on that not only did he have no plans on fucking me but he had a girlfriend. I say all this to ask this

    If he had no intention on fucking me why did he call me? Do grown men call "exs" to brag about their new relationship?

    Have you ever had someone talk about you to your face but you don't catch on til later? I believe this muthafucka told me in no certain terms that he called me because I look better than his girl and me chasing him strokes his ego.

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    It's called "running game".

    You fell for his game. His girlfriend is probably falling for it too. This is not his first rodeo and won't be his last.

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    Member ChocoChanelGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    And hell . . . It sounds like we might be talking to the same guy. My ex SD's girlfriend called me a couple of weeks ago. She was suprised that we were dating. Poor thing didn't get any money I guess.

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    Veteran Member LilLadyLux's Avatar
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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    You stoke his ego. Don't ever do it again. Dudes a total fuckwad.
    "Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."
    -John Maxwell Taylor

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    There was another thread like this a few weeks ago..... Wtf is wrong with these guys? I fear for the human race. Anyway, you know it has nothing to do with you. He is making sure he still has options and is still "the man" even though he has a GF.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    What an idiot but that's how players roll. How did you find out he has a girlfriend? I'd save those messages just in case he comes slithering around again playing mind games and you need evidence to show he's a douche.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    Right about now it's a disease going on called fuck boy and unfortunately there is no cure for it,the only thing for a girl to do is run for the hills! When we see one coming or signs that he's a fuck boy are showing up;do not I repeat do not stay around if you see sighns that he's a fuck boy because they are only out for themselves and only themselves,so be smart and keep your intuition and gaurd on an all time high!

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    I've had so many guys start texting me after a few months/a year with their girlfriend. They're bored and it strokes their egos to get attention from you again. I'm literally in awe and disgusted at HOW MANY men do this. Like, sure, you're right - he's probably never going to take it to the level of actually cheating on his gf to hook up with you (maybe that's how they justify in their heads that this behavior is ok?), but it's still sleazy as hell.

    However, rest assured it's not just you. A lot of men do this. Watch for the magic act of him "disappearing" again when it's been a few months, he's happy with the gf again, and he feels guilty for his bullshit, so he takes it out on you and ignores you again.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    Of course they pull this shit. Read Sex at Dawn. I'm not sure any of us are ment to be monogamous (not that we can't be) but men desperately want to spread their seed. And then you add in that many men in our culture are taught to identify their self worth with how many women they are "slamming" through and you get guys that literally feel badly about themselves if they aren't fucking new people regularly. Fuck Boi's for sure.

    Healthy people harness some of that eros energy into a job or art or something.

    It blows my mind how 90% of my clients are in relationships, and how SO many of them will tell me their in great relationships with sexy/hot/awesome womenhowmuchforyoutocomehomewithme??
    "Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."
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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    ^^sex at dawn, such a great book. It was great to read actual scholarship applied to the subject that rules so much of our lives.
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    jerk off material probably or to stroke his ego. block his number, he isn't worth your time.
    Last edited by audritwo; 05-01-2016 at 04:17 PM.





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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    Keep evidence in case the gf comes around. I had the gf come around and had no idea the dude was seeing someone else. Total player who was as shallow as they come. I tried protecting him, then thought about it and wondered "Why the fuck am I protecting this dude of all dudes? He wouldn't even date me and only sees me as a fuck toy. He only comes around talking to me when he wants to fuck." Copied our messages and apologized to her and wished her the best. I still hear from the dumb ass every now and then. It's funny because I would have stayed an easy, fun, wild, no strings attached ride if he had bothered to not use me to cheat. I'm glad though because I have way better, more worthwhile, and more fulfilling relationships now. Ah the naivete of being a teen.

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    I feel... Stupid. I was happy literally until the day he came waltzing back into my life. To the point that I don't want to get out of bed today. It would be ok if the reason I didn't want to get out of bed was because I missed him but I don't. I feel like he came and kicked me in the ass and left. The shit that went down was embarrassing and fucked up in a short period of time and I didn't even realize it until now. I feel like (weather it's true or not) he came back to make fun of me for being single and alone. I don't feel sexy or wanted any more. Even though I know everyone no matter who you are has a drought period. I can't seem to pull myself out of this funk. Like who are you to not want me!?!?! I played myself this time. I can't even be mad at him.

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    Give yourself time. And don't feel stupid, you were open and adventurous and forgiving of the past. Those are great qualities, and a great approach to the world. There are just always going to be people who use us, take advantage of us and are assholes. That's life. You get better and profiling then out but there will be more that take you by surprise.

    Don't give him the power to make you feel like you did something wrong. Stay just the way you are and you will move o.k. quickly enough. This literally happens to everyone.
    "Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."
    -John Maxwell Taylor

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    Default Re: More insight into the male psyche please

    Quote Originally Posted by wish View Post
    I feel... Stupid. I was happy literally until the day he came waltzing back into my life. To the point that I don't want to get out of bed today. It would be ok if the reason I didn't want to get out of bed was because I missed him but I don't. I feel like he came and kicked me in the ass and left. The shit that went down was embarrassing and fucked up in a short period of time and I didn't even realize it until now. I feel like (weather it's true or not) he came back to make fun of me for being single and alone. I don't feel sexy or wanted any more. Even though I know everyone no matter who you are has a drought period. I can't seem to pull myself out of this funk. Like who are you to not want me!?!?! I played myself this time. I can't even be mad at him.
    Try not to take it so personally.

    Do you honestly think he is a mega ass with just you? He's an ass. A mega ass. And I bet he's like that with a lot of women. This girlfriend will realize the truth eventually and see what kind of man she is with.

    Most time when men come slithering back around they are up to something (ex. trying to fuck you thinking you're going to be easy/easily let them slither back in). I'd be like "oh you wanna come back and play doggy? Prove yourself........You're going to have to jump through these hoops first"

    Lesson learned. Don't let one mans actions dictate how you feel about yourself. Especially when there is something wrong with him (he doesn't know how to respect women).
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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