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Thread: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

  1. #26
    Veteran Member red.velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Quote Originally Posted by BombshellBelle View Post
    Or, you can be whatever size you want to be and learn to hustle your target market like hell. You may have to work a little harder to find those clients, this is true. But I think there is plenty of sugaring available no matter what size you are as long as you're really fucking pretty, have a great personality, and know how to work it.

    Maybe the guys I see are just "redneck rich" (a few million socked away) and not billionaires. That's fine with me, too. I don't chase dreams I don't really want... lol. My worst fear is being a trophy wife. My mother was one and it made her miserable until the day she died.

    Am I limiting myself by being a BBW? Of course I am. You are right in that thin women are seen as more attractive, thus getting the top clients. And good for them. Bravo, darlings!

    I'm not disagreeing with you entirely... just giving motivation to ladies who don't aspire to that ideal body type.
    It depend what your goals are. Some people are happy with less money. Some people are kind of set in their looks and can only earn the money that look or body type brings in. I'm commenting about higher end. Sadly, there is a cap to how much each woman can charge. You can't charge out of your stereotyped league and if you do, you'll rarely get booked.

    People keep commenting "how can you make that much" and "what are you doing differently" so I explained. The top spenders want a very tiny underweight leggy white woman. I'm partially Asian, look Asian, and even I know this.

    We are basically selling ourselves as sex objects and fantasies, so we will all get stereotyped and fetishized by these men no matter how great our personality is. It is a requirement to have a great personality or else you'll get terrible reviews and never be booked. So we have to look past that.

    My clients fetishize me as the "bad" Asian girl and its annoying but I deal with it. It will never go away. If these men aren't fetishizing and stereotyping you out loud, they are doing it in their head. We are breathing objects with emotions to them and that's okay.

    My long legs, petite body, and blonde hair make me "model-like" so that's why I can pull off the rate I do. But there will forever be an unwritten ceiling on how much you can charge based on what you look like (body type, weight, race) and the average going market rate for a woman with the same stats. I have tried everything to combat this and charge more, but it is not possible.

    The less you charge hourly and the hotter you are, the more you will be booked. It also works in reverse.

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  3. #27
    Featured Member wish's Avatar
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    Default Sugar Daddy Website and IDS

    A website sent me a email asking what type of emails I want from them. I haven’t been on a sugar site in over 5 years. I went back to see what’s out there and updated my photos. Why did they decline my pics saying they don’t look like me and to send id to prove it is me. It’s been half a decade if they’re comparing pics and I have on makeup in the new pics. Should I suck it up and send id?

  4. #28
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    Default Re: Sugar Daddy Website and IDS

    Send the pic of the ID but cover your real name and address.

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  6. #29
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    Question Anyone have Sugar Baby work experience? Completely green and need advice.

    Hello,

    I forayed into the world of SD/SB (sorry, I REALLY hate the terms 'daddy' and 'baby') and joined Seeking Arrangement. Within a few days, I found myself on a date with a handsome, older, bonafide lawyer who paid me $200 just to show up. He was looking for an exclusive relationship, to stay over a couple of nights per week, and in exchange, to cover all bills/rent/expenses. Is this the norm relationship of a SD/SB, and if so, has anyone had any positive/negative experiences with it? I'm just worried about offering too much for too little, and being stuck in an awkward situation if and when I want to sever the relationship. Also, the fear of being kidnapped and sex trafficked is always at the back of my mind.

    Any insight would be eternally appreciated!

  7. #30
    Veteran Member Carmen Elixer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone have Sugar Baby work experience? Completely green and need advice.

    Hi!
    I doubt anyone here is going to give you an exact number or dollar amount.
    Mainly b/c there are a lot of men on our various sites going "undercover" to
    get an idea of what the lowest asking price is
    That said, I can give you an idea of what I personally would do.
    First, I wouldn't be spending even one night at the home of a man I hadn't
    known for quite some time already. For me, overnights are something that
    must be worked up to, by a man who's proven his value over time & been
    consistent with the allowance we've agreed upon, without my having to ask
    for it. Even then, I would ask for my own room, or at least my own bed.

    For me, I am okay with all bills/rent/expenses being paid, as you say was offered,
    but I also ask for spending money, too. Because if I'm spending that much time
    with a man, chances are, I won't have time to work a regular job. Even if I did have
    time for a vanilla job, it would Not give me a high enough salary to dress the way a
    wealthy lawyer would want me to dress, to go to the places wealthy lawyers take dates.

    The other thing I would absolutely need, is for the amount that is agreed upon, to
    be paid up front, before anything beyond a public meeting that lasts approximately
    an hour or two, is going to happen.

    Be sure to ask for his complete ID before you meet him anyplace other than in public.

    Also, just so you know, it's rare to find a lawyer who is very wealthy. Though it might
    sound like a prestigious title, there are a lot of jobless attorneys, and even more who
    only earn as much as a man at a vanilla job would earn. That is because the market
    is completely oversaturated with lawyers, and has been for a couple decades now.
    Any lawyer I've ever met who's earning decent money is not young & goodlooking -
    they are very old and have made partner years ago. Additionally it should be
    noted that - whether they have money or not - lawyers are almost always
    extremely cheap. I find it extremely surprising he offered you $200 just
    to meet. That's unheard of for lawyers. Good for you!

    I hope it works out well. Feel free to ask any other questions.

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  9. #31
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    Default Re: Anyone have Sugar Baby work experience? Completely green and need advice.

    Disclaimer- these statements are intended to reflect sugaring as it is post FOSTA SESTA.

    There's nothing wrong with having standards and boundaries if you want to get into sugaring.

    Also- I'm going to recommend you read Gavin De Becker's book "The Gift Of Fear" because it will help you ID and sense when you are dealing with potential SDs who are both unstable and not-sincere.

    My personal metaphor? You treat the transaction like a car lease. Period. When your sugar arrangement ends, you wipe your smudged mascara and pick up where you left off.

    I never regretted any of my transactional Sugar LTRs. Strings free intimacy is awesome, and being treated well is awesome.

    Trust your gut feeling about about these guys. & Ask for what you need.

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Thank you girls so much for the insight! Before our second meeting, he sent me $1600 to cover my bills for the month. We went for dinner, then hung out in his hotel room for a bit (which I texted a safety the hotel name, room number, and his name and phone). We were not intimate, I told him I wasn't ready, and he said he doesn't mind waiting, but when we are, he wants to finish inside. He said he's been tested recently and is clean. He's been honest about everything else (it appears) but honestly, I just don't think I'm willing to take that risk, no matter how much the money. He says he's fixed, but I have known of "fixed" pregnancies to still occur. He has made partner at his firm, and has a few side businesses, so I know he is established and published numerous times. He said he absolutely can not wear protection. Am I crazy for calling it quits for that, or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him, as he has (apparently) been honest about everything else?

  12. #33
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Sounds like a fantastic way to get pregnant or catch something and for $1600, just not worth it. I would keep seeing him but just never have sex with him until he agrees with your parameters.

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nilah View Post
    Thank you girls so much for the insight! Before our second meeting, he sent me $1600 to cover my bills for the month. We went for dinner, then hung out in his hotel room for a bit (which I texted a safety the hotel name, room number, and his name and phone). We were not intimate, I told him I wasn't ready, and he said he doesn't mind waiting, but when we are, he wants to finish inside. He said he's been tested recently and is clean. He's been honest about everything else (it appears) but honestly, I just don't think I'm willing to take that risk, no matter how much the money. He says he's fixed, but I have known of "fixed" pregnancies to still occur. He has made partner at his firm, and has a few side businesses, so I know he is established and published numerous times. He said he absolutely can not wear protection. Am I crazy for calling it quits for that, or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him, as he has (apparently) been honest about everything else?
    Do not ruin your pussy health for this one dude who will probably disappear whenever.

    Never i mean never engage in these sorts of dalliances without protection. Do not trust anyone on that level because your earning power/pussy health is more important.

    You only do something like this for someone you plan on being with long term like a husband and even then you’d get a blood test/full std test before going without protection.

    Just imagine who else he’s paying to stick his raw penis in.

    No amount of money is worth incurable disease nor unplanned pregnancy/unplanned single motherhood

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    You're all right, along with my gut. I'll break it off with him next time we meet for dinner (Wed) and let you all know how that goes. There are plenty of men out there who are willing to respect boundaries, I'll just have to keep looking. Thanks again, ladies.

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    I would keep seeing him until sex is inevitable..

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Another thing is, he is insisting on staying over at my apartment, and sooner than later. It's not sustainable. I'm thinking of writing him a Dear John letter, explaining that I can't offer him what he is looking for, no matter what the price. If he wants to keep me around for affection and outings, companionship, etc, we can maybe agree to an a la carte menu, just nothing that would potentially turn my vagina green and fall off.

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  21. #38
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Take control. You are in control. If he doesn’t like , he can kick rocks. No need to explain to him that you’re not gonna do something that’s gonna risk your health. That should be a given!

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  23. #39
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nilah View Post
    Another thing is, he is insisting on staying over at my apartment, and sooner than later. It's not sustainable. I'm thinking of writing him a Dear John letter, explaining that I can't offer him what he is looking for, no matter what the price. If he wants to keep me around for affection and outings, companionship, etc, we can maybe agree to an a la carte menu, just nothing that would potentially turn my vagina green and fall off.
    Yeah the staying over at your place thing is a bit sketchy sounding to me.

    Honestly most SD/sb arrangements don't last forever, they are not meant to. Be cautious and pay attention to your intuition here.

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  25. #40
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    No I never invite dudes to my place.

    The only time you’d do that is MAYBE if youre dating an old-school courting type of guy and you llive in gated community so if you end it, they can’t just show up at your place/stalk you with out some difficulty

    You generally don’t invite dudes to your place until you know for certain you can trust them/they aren’t going to take advantage (rob you, stalk you, etc).

    He probably is wanting to come to your place to verify you aren’t living with kids/another man or whatever else. However it’s none of his business since this is a sugar relationship and when you’re not with him you are free to conduct your life as you please.

    This dude sounds like he has no boundaries so as Ariel mentioned you’ll have to be assertive with your boundaries and be ready to end if he pushes back

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Hey at least you got $1600.
    His “ requirement “ is super creepy.
    No glove , no pre-arranged fake love. Hahaha
    Try to get another $1600-2000+ out of him if he’ll bite.

    Don’t stress too much about it.
    Don’t tell him where you live. Just say you have a conservative room mate ( more money could help you reach your goal of your own place !).
    If you keep seeing him verify everything .

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  29. #42
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    I would keep seeing him until sex is inevitable..
    https://www.showpo.com/eu/showpoedit...et-out-of-sex/

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Yeah, I would not bareback him ever. As the other girls said, he has a lot of boundaries issues but you have the upper hand. Just try to milk him until he can't wait for sex no longer.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nilah View Post
    Thank you girls so much for the insight! Before our second meeting, he sent me $1600 to cover my bills for the month. We went for dinner, then hung out in his hotel room for a bit (which I texted a safety the hotel name, room number, and his name and phone). We were not intimate, I told him I wasn't ready, and he said he doesn't mind waiting, but when we are, he wants to finish inside. He said he's been tested recently and is clean. He's been honest about everything else (it appears) but honestly, I just don't think I'm willing to take that risk, no matter how much the money. He says he's fixed, but I have known of "fixed" pregnancies to still occur. He has made partner at his firm, and has a few side businesses, so I know he is established and published numerous times. He said he absolutely can not wear protection. Am I crazy for calling it quits for that, or should I give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him, as he has (apparently) been honest about everything else?
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Well, tonight's the night I lay down the rules! Will keep you gals posted; thanks again for the invaluable advice. At least I'm learning my boundaries early on in this game; what I'm comfortable with and what I'm not. Do any of you have a technique, or internal divining rod, that you know what you're comfortable with before you agree to it/before it happens? Or is it trial and error, and you just have to deal with the emotional repercussions as they happen? I guess that's what they would call our intuition? Do you have examples of where you were apprehensive, but once you got over the initial discomfort, you were ok? I am definitely going to read that book Gift of Fear.

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Welp, I pulled the trigger and killed the relationship. He wanted to pay me $2-2.5k per month; in exchange, stay at my place 3x a week, and, of course, unprotected sex when be wanted it. I told him no deal. So now, him and I are, once again, seeking an arrangement we can both be happy with, but it's clearly not with each other.

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  36. #46
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nilah View Post
    Welp, I pulled the trigger and killed the relationship. He wanted to pay me $2-2.5k per month; in exchange, stay at my place 3x a week, and, of course, unprotected sex when be wanted it. I told him no deal. So now, him and I are, once again, seeking an arrangement we can both be happy with, but it's clearly not with each other.
    He's probably a sexual submissive who wants to "vet" someone for a LTR or marriage.

    Just keep seeking. The average low-stress SD is middle aged, a work-a-holic and is very clear about boundaries b/c he will benefit from those boundaries too.

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    So, I woke up to this slew of messages this morning. I just really don't think he gets it. Should I just ignore his messages?

    Good morning gorgeous! I have a proposal. Let's have a date tonight. I say let's go back to the Hilton have a drink and I'm going to get us a room. You bring some clothes to spend the night but you can always go home if you decide you don't want to stay.

    I know you would have to give up boxing for tonight but if you want I will provide the cardio! We should have done that last night.
    If you decide you don't want to make love it's fine we will just hold each other.

    I don't want to go faster than you want. At the same time I think you are worrying over something that you dont need to worry about.

    You know how I feel about you. I'd love for us to stay with each other a few times a week.
    I'm not going to take over your life. I know you want to have independence. I thought it would be sweet for us to have each other part of the week and then you could have the rest of it without me.

    And please no more talk of becoming a dancer. I want to be the only one that sees you naked.

    I enjoy helping you. You have certainly helped me. I think we are wonderful together.
    Ok?
    I know you may be thinking I didn't absorb your letter. I absolutely did. But what it appears to be is you telling me why we shouldn't be together before we've really given it a try.

    Am I wrong?

    And sweetheart you should know by now I will remain a gentleman as long as you want me to. And when you decide you want us to make love we will and no sooner than that. Ok?

  38. #48
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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    I would ignore him. He sounds nuts to be honest. He's already telling you what he thinks you should be doing with your body while also trying to endanger your safety with unprotected sex. This guy sounds like a time bomb and doesn't seem to respect boundaries. Just imagine how bad it will get if you let him in your home?

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    I would ignore him. He sounds nuts to be honest. He's already telling you what he thinks you should be doing with your body while also trying to endanger your safety with unprotected sex. This guy sounds like a time bomb and doesn't seem to respect boundaries. Just imagine how bad it will get if you let him in your home?
    ^^^^^


    This.

    Sounds like a classic case of "Captain Save A Ho"

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    Default Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?

    You're right. I'm just going to ignore his calls and texts. Thanks again for the confirmation ladies; you saved me a lot of time and hassle with Mr. Peanuts.

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