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Thread: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

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    Angry Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I've been working in this industry now for about a year. I had regulars who thought they'd have a chance, spent a lot of money on me, but at least they had money so I can understand where they're coming from (some girls will fall for men without looks but with money).

    Now I have 2 regulars who constantly ask for a date, one is in his mid 30's with a daughter. He is unattractive. He is slightly overweight. He has a job that pay okay, but I make substantially more than him. Now what in the World makes him think a girl 10-15 years younger, who makes good money, and who is in university will date him? It's starting to infuriate me. He always asks to go out especially now that exams are over.

    I want to say no but it's tough because he's a regular and sees me every time I go to work. He spends about $100-200 everytime. Any ideas? Should I cut him off? I already said I'm busy for the past few months and now I've run out of excuses. And why would I ever truly date him outside the club makes me so annoyed/frustrated....he's honestly a nice guy but how dumb and stupid do you have to be to think a good looking girl would date you if youre chubby, uneducated, don't really have money, have a kid????? Like when I'm in my 40s I will know a guy in his 20s likely won't date me unless I'm hot and rich like Jennifer Lopez (she has a young bf)

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    It's a mixture of all the messages he's been told about women through cultural narratives, and the fact that you are intentionally leading him on (and I'm not blaming you for this, it's your job). Let him keep spending as long as you can handle it, but if he starts crossing lines that you've promised to yourself, just cut him off. No need to spend feelings of unease or even annoyance on a customer.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I got a good chuckle out of this because the whole beauty and the beast thing some guys know spending money helps boost the amount of respect they get with more attractive women. What they don't understand is the club is supposed to be a fantasy and you go back to your real life. Sadly the more they spend the more they hound to meet them one on one outside the club.

    If he bugs you that much I'd cut back the number of times I see him in the club and find new regulars. He will eventually get the point he's annoying you and may find some one else to deal with him.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    This drives me absolutely nuts. Even OTC, I'm amazed by the toads that think they have a chance with me. So delusional.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    You're a stripper, therefore you are at the bottom of the social hierarchy in the United States. Pretty much everyone assumes that sex workers are pathetic losers that's why we take our clothes off for money. There is no "out of my league" where sex workers are concerned.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    You may lose him as a customer, but you don't owe anyone a date. This isnt a matter of how he looks or his income but about you are two different places in life.

    He is much to old & has a kid. You are young, in college and so much to do in life before you to do before you settle down. He may not be after a wife but just to have sex after all the money he invested in you, it happens.

    I'm 47 and men 15 years older than me generally are boring, there are exceptions but few.

    Age does matter especially from 18 to 27 years, your maturity levels are not the same as someone who is 30 to 45. It isn't shade, but how life works and how it should be. You have much to experience, learn & try new stuff out. Life is to much of adventure at your age to be with someone who has a kid. Flip the script, how would he feel if a man 15 yrs older wanted to date his daughter...

    When you are older, it isnt about looks as much as it is about chemistry, character & ability to hold a conversation.

    Sam

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I've personally gone on OTC dates. These dates where paid for by the gentleman. I've had fun and my boundaries have always been respected.

    If you don't feel comfortable meeting anyone OTC, don't. You don't have to explain why and you don't have to lie about it either. He will understand and if he decides he doesn't want to continue to be a regular of yours, then so be it. Something very similar happened to me. He no longer tipped me and I let him see it didn't phase me one bit and I still made money with out his (very small) contribution. He was old, fat, and ugly but we had great conversations and I didn't feel bad one bit when I blew him off.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    This drives me absolutely nuts. Even OTC, I'm amazed by the toads that think they have a chance with me. So delusional.
    I guess I should've clarified. By OTC, I meant IRL. Meaning, I can't believe the type of men who think I might be interested in them in my real life.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I'm always happy to pretend that the disgusting excuses for men that walk into my club have a chance with me, as long as they're paying. My job is to pretend to like them for money.

    But if they DON'T pay--if they do the "I'd rather take you out to dinner" line and starkly refuse to buy dances or tip in a meaningful way--I will shut them down so harshly that they usually leave the club immediately. Guys that do this are trying to get me to do my job--pretending to like them--for free. I don't work for free.

    Regulars have an expiration date...but they may be paying you for the fantasy that you might someday date them. That's a fine fantasy, as long as they're paying. It's the reason the chubby older guy is asking you, someone he's paying not to laugh at him, instead of some hot girl he sees at the grocery store, who will laugh at him.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I have two names for you Harvey Weinstein and Georgina Chapman. All you have to do is look a their photos.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    You could always just tell him that your not ready to see him outside the club, that you feel like it might be to big of a step, and that your worried that once y'all start going on dates it could ruin the type of relationship that y'all already have.
    Hey there Delilah, whats it like up in rack city?
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    Yes I do.
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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Man, this post made me so sad lol
    "Well then it's a good thing your faith in me has no impact on how much I make." - MissEgo

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Quote Originally Posted by TearieLeigh View Post
    You could always just tell him that your not ready to see him outside the club, that you feel like it might be to big of a step, and that your worried that once y'all start going on dates it could ruin the type of relationship that y'all already have.
    I've been saying that for 6 months.
    My excuses have run out.
    I just started to ignore this guy. He's texting me and he just called me today but I didn't pick up. Doesn't get the message. I have this strange urge to just send him the link to this thread.

    Men should understand this is a FANTASY. We don't really like you. If we did, we would go out with you for free, but we charge you to talk to us because it's our goddamn job. Stop asking us on dates. Seriously...

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    just tell him that you only date for money and you are more than happy to go to dinner for x amount that you are comfortable wtih, because you don't have time to waste on free dates

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Is he a nice guy? I understand that this can be annoying whether it be at work or in real life -however, I will note that I'm surprised by such a vehement response (Unless, of course he has atrocious behavior.

    If they bother you so much, then maybe you should do both of yourselves a favor and just end the arrangement.

    Or you might be surprised and have genuine non romantic fun w/ the dude. I've been out for drinks with a super fun regular a couple times & had a blast -he also understood that it was platonic, though. I also had dinner with a couple other regs at times that have helped me out of real binds.

    Character is such a unique trait now a days. If he's a nice person, I would return the favor & be kind to him.

    Good Luck
    "You're better than no one and no one is better than you."
    -- Bob Dylan

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    There are always losers that have not noticed they are losers ot that have not realized thay you know they are losers.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Why not do what Crystalize said and go on a paid date? Lay out your boundaries and how much you want to be paid. If he wants an actual relationship this should let him know it's not going to happen. If you're truly out of excuses then it's probably time to be straightforward with the guy.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I don't know where you work or your situation, but $100-$200 is nothing I'd worry my pretty self over. Cut him loose because you could easily make the extra $100-$200 from someone else each shift.

    OR

    As other posters have stated, see him outside the club for a set fee. Meet in a public place and have your boundaries set.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Many other posters talked about this in other threads ( maybe this one?) all regulars have an expiration date, a tone when they figure out your not really going to date them/fuck them and you cut them loose. That's why you never want to prioritize regs too much and stop seeking out new blood.
    "Used as rocket fuel, sex energy can lift our consciousness to the stars to experience a state of being where love exists in and for itself and has no opposite. On a soul level, this is our natural state."
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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I deal with this type of shit constantly, both at the club and in real life!

    I have zero patience for it. I only see men OTC if they are loaded and willing to pay me a lot of money for my time. I would never see a man who isn't that well off, especially if he makes less than I do! And if he's unattractive to boot?! GTFO!! On very rare occasions, I will see a guy outside to hook up if he's insanely attractive and we connect in other ways too. But this guy you mentioned doesn't have anything to offer you OTC. If he wants you, he has to accept you at the club and nowhere else. He is really testing you by pushing you to see him outside when he knows damn well he isn't worth it! I would tell him you have a boyfriend and end things before it gets out of control. He isn't someone to get upset over losing as a customer. There are plenty of other fish in the sea, ones who will spend more on you than he does.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    How hard would it be for you to just tell him you are dating someone seriously or you are engaged.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    This happened to me yesterday, a cheap customer only bought a couple of dances, then negged me and followed that by asking me to go out with him. Double whammy! I don't remember exactly what I said but I let him know he's being annoying and to not ask me out. Usually I just change the subject fast or say I'm really busy cuz I have 2 jobs but one day when Im not as busy I'll go out with him, and of course that day never comes but it keeps them coming back for a long time.
    Last edited by lilylilylily; 05-14-2016 at 12:57 PM.

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Men by their nature will go through hell and high water before giving up. Yet, the second the interest is returned, they lose interest. I think dating men is a big PITA so I don't.
    Another reason - a lot of men really do overestimate themselves. Now it's good to have a high opinion of yourself but for some men it gets delusional.
    Also you're job makes them think, falsely, that you can be bought. Men still think that women- even non- sex workers- can be bought cause that mentality is still alive and well.

    I often wonder what the hell they're thinking. Last week a very old man pays my check at the diner where I was eating by myself. We talk for a bit and he asks for my phone number. I said no. It was an odd scene. What did he think I would say?
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    Quote Originally Posted by StripperSierra View Post
    How hard would it be for you to just tell him you are dating someone seriously or you are engaged.
    Pretty hard. I'm assuming you don't have regulars? Most of my customers are regulars which is why I can go in on a Tuesday night and still make AT LEAST $600..regulars like to believe you're single and have a chance. That is why as soon as you tell them you lose these obsessed regulars in an instant........

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    Default Re: Unattractive Men who think they have a chance

    I wanted to start a thread like this one for a long time now.

    The law of attraction is always in play. Sometimes people get distracted by money/and living conditions. I believe for two people become partners, they have to be sexually attracted to each other. Otherwise it's just a compromising situation. For a man, money can boost his confidence and lot of times girls will make some sort of compromise to be with him/money. That doesn't mean girls will heartly love him. You don't see guys appreciate a "not so attractive" girl's inner beauty do you? We live in a vanity world.
    I like being alone, I just don't like being lonely.




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