
Originally Posted by
Magical_Hoohah
I haven't gathered all my thoughts on this topic, but I want to strongly object to some of the sentiments expressed in this thread. I have a TON of respect for all of you ladies and your opinions, but I don't think it's ok to tell a person that she should just give her partner what he wants because, if she doesn't, he'll get it elsewhere or find a way to get it anyway. I know that what's going on with the OP may not seem like a big deal to some of you, but privacy is more important to some people than to others, and I think that the OP is within normal/healthy bounds with her desires for privacy (that is, she's not being pathologically paranoid or anything).
What if we were talking about something slightly different? What if the OP came here saying that, since she started camming, her BF really wants to have anal sex, but she's specifically told him that she's not into that? Then she started noticing him trying to be sneaky about it, like trying to slip it in during sex by pretending that he "missed." Then one day, when she's not around to give consent (e.g. passed out asleep), he just goes for it and fucks her in the ass, and she wakes up and catches him in the act.
In that scenario, we would NEVER say things like, "You should be flattered that he wants to have anal with you," or "He's a guy, and guys like anal, so what did you think would happen?" or "Well, do you want him to have anal with someone else because you wouldn't do it?" I know the comparison sounds a bit dramatic, but at the core, the scenarios aren't so different. She has a part of herself/her life that she doesn't feel comfortable sharing with him right now, she has told him that, he has acknowledged that he understands, and yet he's violating her boundaries without her consent.
I really do get where some of you are coming from, that you're totally fine sharing this with your partners, and you don't see much reason to keep him out of her work. Likewise, I'm happy having anal with my partners, but I understand if some women aren't. We all have different limits, and I think that all of us here advocate respecting people's limits, no?
Bookmarks