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Thread: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

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    Default How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Ok, so I work with this chick that made statements about having mental issues and whatnot. She's had issues with other girls in the past too. (She got into an argument with another dancer about "stealing her song") and mind you, she's newer than the girl she accused of stealing her song. She also accused other girls of stealing her cigarettes but the girls she accused literally just got into work so they started to not really like her.

    What she does to me is more of a passive aggressive type thing cause she knows I'm a nice girl and I don't really act ghetto like she does sometimes. It started when I walked over to a customer she was sitting with. I went over to thank him for the tip he gave me on my stage. He wanted me to sit with them and chat with them. So I did. There wasn't really anyone else in the club at that time anyway. She got up and was very angry about the fact I sat with them. I understand she's trying to hustle and probably don't want me to hear how she spits game. Totally get that. But she can't be mad at me for a customer requesting me to be around and you can't get mad at me for not saying NO to someone offering me money lol.

    Then ever since, whenever I would talk to a customer or hang around a customer, she would intentionally talk to them in a way to try to turn them around from the stage when I'm on it so they won't pay attention or see me. I really got irritated this one day when a regular came in but I kind of consider him to be my friend cause we have hung out on a more "personal" level. She claims he's her friend too but he told me that he feels like she's childish and he was just being nice to her cause he felt pressured to talk to her. But anyways, I got up on the stage and started dancing, and Inky (childish coworker) was dressed in her regular clothes and as soon as my friend wanted to get up to come tip me, she looks me straight in my face, then gets straight up into his and asks him to help her walk her bags to her car. Obviously she did that so he won't tip me. Even he knew what was going on but I understand he's not trying to pick sides with us.

    I told other girls that I am cool with and they told me I need to nip it in the bud now before she keeps doing it but Idk if I should just leave it alone or pull her to the side cause its annoying as hell.
    WWYD?

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Girl sounds like a nutjob but I can see why she would be upset; you did cutthroat her. Now she's getting back at you only 100x worse.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    In the future don't go up to a customer another girl is sitting with, that a big stripper no-no. If you wanna thank him, do it when he's available. Esp when you're dealing w cray cray co workers, which you better get used to. This industry's full of them

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Why on earth would he walk her to her car?!

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by rareaspasia View Post
    Why on earth would he walk her to her car?!
    Exactly. What club allows this???

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Is there any way you could just pull her aside privately, apologize, say that you never meant it to make things weirdly competitive between the two of you, and ask to be cool again? I know it seems unfair to apologize when she's the one acting crazy, but sometimes the easiest way to diffuse a situation is to just take the high road. Getting equally bitchy toward her is just gonna escalate her own crazy tendencies, and ignoring it is clearly not working. But directly confronting her while taking a slight "fall" 1) makes it clear that you know what she's doing but also 2) gives you a mature starting point. She's probably never had someone just confront her from a non-bitchy place before. You'd be surprised how quickly people de-escalate and can turn around and act like mature adults if you just treat them as though you expect them to be mature adults.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Veteran Member ZafinaX's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    In the future don't go up to a customer another girl is sitting with, that a big stripper no-no. If you wanna thank him, do it when he's available. Esp when you're dealing w cray cray co workers, which you better get used to. This industry's full of them
    The thing is at our club, all the other girls ENCOURAGE others to thank customers no matter who's sitting with them cause we're all comfortable with each other. We kind of treat each other like sisters in a way. As long as you're not like trying to pull the attention on purpose. I guess my situation is a bit different and I should have explained a little more cause I know some things work at certain clubs.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Is there any way you could just pull her aside privately, apologize, say that you never meant it to make things weirdly competitive between the two of you, and ask to be cool again? I know it seems unfair to apologize when she's the one acting crazy, but sometimes the easiest way to diffuse a situation is to just take the high road. Getting equally bitchy toward her is just gonna escalate her own crazy tendencies, and ignoring it is clearly not working. But directly confronting her while taking a slight "fall" 1) makes it clear that you know what she's doing but also 2) gives you a mature starting point. She's probably never had someone just confront her from a non-bitchy place before. You'd be surprised how quickly people de-escalate and can turn around and act like mature adults if you just treat them as though you expect them to be mature adults.
    Ok, I work with her tomorrow and I think she noticed that I'm not feeling her today so she kind of tried to diffuse it a bit by complimenting my outfit when I walked by so I'll pull her aside and see what's up. Thanks

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    Exactly. What club allows this???
    At a laid back club where almost no one gives a fuck cause they assume everybody is everybody's friend. There is someone in the parking lot making sure no one drives off with a customer though. LOL weird but whatever.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by ZafinaX View Post
    At a laid back club where almost no one gives a fuck cause they assume everybody is everybody's friend. There is someone in the parking lot making sure no one drives off with a customer though. LOL weird but whatever.
    Lol That is weird!

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Let us know how it works out!
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    In the future don't go up to a customer another girl is sitting with, that a big stripper no-no. If you wanna thank him, do it when he's available. Esp when you're dealing w cray cray co workers, which you better get used to. This industry's full of them
    Yes! Never approach customers when they're with other dancers. I know a few places that you will get beat up for that, your stuff gone and fired. But that aside, unfortunately this biz is full of beyond crazy people. The Dancers, customers and staff. I think that's why I would drink heavily when working, the nuts in the clubs. I couldn't handle dealing with them sober. I find that escorts, pornstars and camgirls are nicer than dancers.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Yeah now I know about the not going up to a customer when he's occupied. I was just so used to how my home club worked but I understand the other point of view. Anyways we did talk and I guess we're semi cordial again? It still feels awkward but we still just chill when we see each other. LOL

    Thanks again ladies

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    I think it's okay to briefly approach to thank them for the tip. This issue is when you linger around makes it look like you're trying to hustle him away from her. And most guys have Adult ADD when it comes to women in the club, which triggered her insecurity when you sat down and stayed.

    If you sit down with another girl you best be trying to hustle for both of y'all to make money off him otherwise it looks like mentioned above, you trying to hustle him away from her for your own self.

    But since you don't know her like that and she seems petty I could see why you would not give her a warm reception.

    Also if a guy request you sit down with him, while another girl is there, it's best to either tell him (in whatever phrase is best for you) you will come back after he ditch her so y'all can be alone OR have him tell her he wants you/both of you (this way she knows it's the customers idea not yours and won't blame you as much)

    You could kill her with kindness or just cold shoulder the broad and act like she doesn't exist.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    I think it's okay to briefly approach to thank them for the tip. This issue is when you linger around makes it look like you're trying to hustle him away from her. And most guys have Adult ADD when it comes to women in the club, which triggered her insecurity when you sat down and stayed.

    If you sit down with another girl you best be trying to hustle for both of y'all to make money off him otherwise it looks like mentioned above, you trying to hustle him away from her for your own self.

    But since you don't know her like that and she seems petty I could see why you would not give her a warm reception.

    Also if a guy request you sit down with him, while another girl is there, it's best to either tell him (in whatever phrase is best for you) you will come back after he ditch her so y'all can be alone OR have him tell her he wants you/both of you (this way she knows it's the customers idea not yours and won't blame you as much)

    You could kill her with kindness or just cold shoulder the broad and act like she doesn't exist.
    All of this!!! Of course the customer is going to ask you to sit down because who wouldn't want to hot girls to chat with, but since you'r ea dancer and you know it's all about the money you need to respect that she's trying to do her job so appeasing the customer and sitting down isnt' the right thing to do imo
    I'd talk to her and explain you didn't mean anything by it and hopefully it will just be left in the past. Good luck!

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Yeah its been cooled down. Like at my home club we're so used to sitting with each other with our customers to show them that we "like each other" and it usually brings more tips cause our customers like how we're all up on each other or talking dirty with each other, bringing the "sexual aura" guys like. The other girls kind of don't like her either cause she's not understanding how we work. Since we can't do lapdances we try to entertain in other ways, which was what I did try to do with her (chick I had the issue with) but she didn't know me well enough to see that I was definitely trying to hustle for both of us. I even kept complimenting her to keep the eyes on her. Like the hype-man. LOL but yeah I mean she's still like crazy and whatnot saying stuff like "Don't you girls miss me?" knowing she probably offended someone the other day. But I always try to keep cool in the club, smile, & stay away from the drama so I can make my $$$ and gtfo. XD

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    UPDATE:

    Y'all she is really starting to get on my nerves. Yesterday, I had to sit next to her in the DR cause there were no more seats left. I'm thinking everything is cool but then she feels like our last conversation wasn't enough. The other day I sat next to a guy that she feels is "her customer." He tips me a nice amount on my stage so I took him for a private stage dance. SHe didn't like that at all. She had told another dancer who is cool with me that if I didn't sit with "her customer" that would've been all her money. She was too busy entertaining someone else when her so-called "customer" was sitting alone.
    Then since I had to go after her on stage for rotation, she WASN'T TRYING TO GET OFF STAGE WHEN IT WAS MY TURN. Cause she felt like she had to get back at me. So I went on stage and started cleaning the poles cause she kept dancing as the DJ said "Please Honey(me) come to the stage" so I did. Then she got down and got mad and was all like "Can you wait until I get all my money first before you come on stage?" with a mad face. I said "Sorry, but the DJ called me on stage for the past 2-3 minutes now." And continued dancing.

    Then later she came to me and hugged me and apologized for being a "bitch." *rolls eyes* Then the day after that She said to me:

    "Honey! (My dance name) I need to talk to you. The real reason I was mad is because one of my customers that used to tip me ALOT kept bringing up YOUR name when we were talking and claims that you suck and fuck for money so I can't get any of it. So you're fucking with my money is how I feel about you."

    I told her that this is how guys get in your head when they want more from you. You have to let that go. And no one is technically yours unless they don't want to deal with anyone else but you at all times.

    THEN SHE HAD THE NERVE TO SAY:

    "I also feel some kind of way when you do a spin on stage. Even though its not THAT GREAT, I feel like you're copying me." and she said to all the girls in the DR "I feel like my ass is better than all of y'alls because I can move it better than y'all." Mind you she's the skinniest one in the room.

    I just walked out the room and said "Ok, you need a therapist or psychologist ASAP."

    Y'all I want her GONE. And I'm the type to love everybody so when I say I want her gone, she's really fucking annoying and needs to GO.

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Hmm, I'm sorry. I hate when there is drama with girls at work. She seems a little off, but I wouldn't really walk up to customers when they are sitting with other girls, like ever. Even if you meant well, more than likely the girl is going to be taken back by the fact that you felt the need to walk up with her sitting there with him trying to get paid. Unless you are besties, more than likely she will feel threatened. The best advice I can give you is ignore it. All of it. Don't get involved with other girls in the club because MOST of the time it just turns sour. I've met some of the best people, but I've definitely met more problems. Come in, work. Then leave.

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    Arrow Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by Monroe1922 View Post
    Hmm, I'm sorry. I hate when there is drama with girls at work. She seems a little off, but I wouldn't really walk up to customers when they are sitting with other girls, like ever. Even if you meant well, more than likely the girl is going to be taken back by the fact that you felt the need to walk up with her sitting there with him trying to get paid. Unless you are besties, more than likely she will feel threatened. The best advice I can give you is ignore it. All of it. Don't get involved with other girls in the club because MOST of the time it just turns sour. I've met some of the best people, but I've definitely met more problems. Come in, work. Then leave.
    THIS^. Actually the bold part pertains to normal jobs as well..I can't tell how many X/s I've f'd myself up on this^


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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    THIS^. Actually the bold part pertains to normal jobs as well..I can't tell how many X/s I've f'd myself up on this^
    Haha! Thank you... yes. There is undoubtedly drama in ever work place. Just even more of a reason why any work can be a drag sometimes. Though I must say, I love my job most of the time. you also tend to get a long with everyone better if you just keep to yourself as well. Everything goes much smoother!

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    Default Re: How do you deal with this kind of COWORKER?

    I second what whirlz said. Go in, work, leave. I hate jobs that try to make you "be friends" with other people. UGHHHH. Go awaaay.
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