
Originally Posted by
Dragonflyby
Looking for some advice on a situation..
My boyfriend and I are extremely committed; getting engaged soon and marrying next Fall.
We have a great relationship and are very understanding and supportive of each other's "flaws"; I've got self-esteem issues, various mental health struggles, etc, as does he, and individualized issues otherwise. Top priority is supporting one another, always being there, modifying ourselves to help the other, selflessness, compassion, etc. Very strong and healthy relationship.
I include that info because I often see responses to threads of this nature that are along the lines of, "Don't waste your time on an insecure man!" or "What an ass, trying to control you. It's your life, put your desires above his feelings!" and we're very much not like that. Those sorts of things aren't solutions, to me.
Anyway, to get to the point, I've wanted to strip for almost a year now. Had planned to move to LA and strip there, but then met BF, which changed my plans (for the better; live fast and die young mentality wasn't good at all). He asked that I reconsider my desire to strip, as he was uncomfortable with the idea of other men seeing my body, which he considers to be a private thing, between the two of us. I was completely fine with that, it even helped me rediscover a career I'd wanted to pursue, though I often missed the idea of stripping and wished I could still pursue that, too.
Recently, though, we got onto the subject of selling panties online, which he was alright with, so I tested the waters about stripping. He was far more open to it, told me he'd be alright with it, though not completely comfortable with lapdances and anything involving contact. Understandable. I was ecstatic, immediately picked back up with finding resources, looking for clubs in the area where we'll be moving soon, etc. But.. not a week later, he'd retracted that, and confessed that he wasn't feeling comfortable with it again. He reiterates constantly that he doesn't want to seem controlling and wants me to do what makes me happy, but we also strongly emphasize communication and openness, and I'm very glad that he's keeping me completely in the loop regarding his feelings on the matter.
(TLDR - I had plans to strip, before meeting boyfriend. Those plans were willingly put aside by boyfriend's very respectful request, he later became comfortable with idea of me stripping, but soon after was no longer comfortable. Relationship is so highly valued that priority is either helping him feel comfortable with it or dropping the idea of stripping (the former being much preferable) rather than leaving him (something I'd never do). He is not being controlling, simply openly communicating his feelings, as I've always encouraged and am glad about.)
So - because I want him to be comfortable and feel secure, but also for me to be able to strip, I'm desperately searching for ways to help him come to a sense of peace on the matter. Any advice, experiences, lines of thought, examples, metaphors, anything that might help put him at ease about it, would be so greatly appreciated.
Thanks so much!
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