Hello ladies first of this is kind of gonna be a long post. I have been together with my husband for 11 years married for ten. I have two kids ones ten the other is four and a half years old. I met him on the internet on Yahoo messenger there is an age difference between us he is in his late fifthys now and I am almost 30. I moved in with him when I turned 18. Things were so perfect in the beginning he showered me with Love and affection, he cooked for me always opened the car doors for me. I remember him telling me I found my soul mate. I was on cloud nine. In the summer of 2005 i found out I was pregnant with my first born. I was happy that we were finally gonna be a family. In May if 2006 we took the leap and got married at the court house. I would say around year after my son was born things changed completely with him. He would say that if we trusted each other we should each have each other we should have access to each others email accounts and social media accounts. So I agreed at the time I did not see nothing wrong with it. Than next thing I knew he would start checking out my phone looking through the call history and asking me what number was this and if I didnt recognize the number he would write it down and call it right in front of me. He has an anger problem when he gets mad he breaks things. If I don't do what he wants he sulks and gets angry gives me the silent treatment. And this would go on for days. I tried communicating with him but when things get heated he tells me to shut the fuck up or leaves the house for a few hours. His mood he could be okay this day and angry the next day. I have caved in many times to try to make him happy just tomorrow keep him from being upset with me. I have left him about several times already. When he realizes that we have broken up he would plead and call me to get me back and I believed that he would change I wanted to keep our family together so i took him back this was years ago when I first broke up with him in total I would say I have left him five times. So the first time when I had gotten back together with him i told him that. We were gonna go to marriage counseling . We did a couple of sessions and that was it. I felt that in a way the counseling wasn't helping so we stopped going . The cycle continued I would get back together with him he would change for a little bit than he was back to his ways. It wasn't untill year later that I noticed this pattern and that it was unhealthy. The verbal assults got worst as the years went by he called me everynamae in the book. Constantly demanding that I spend time with him and that i was ignoring him. If I was on the phone withsomone he wants to know who. I am talking to what are you doing where are you going? I have lost several jobs cause of him. I am currently unemployed and finishing up my last semester of college.so I completely dependent on him for everything. Communication is very limited. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells so keep my mouth shut and keep my opinions to myself. I am currently leaving for good in seven days I can't take it no more. In the past when I had left him it was the money issues that made my breakup from him unsucessful. I have no support from my family and no friends in the city I live in. But about a year ago I managed to take out several student loans from school and opened up a bank account to secretly stash the money. My father has been helping me out giving me money once a month so whatever he gives me I put that up too. I am going through all kinds of emotions. I never thought that I would end up in a toxic relationship and I am upset. I have so
Manny fears as I prepare to end my relationship for good. I have accepted the fact that he may never change and that if don't end thing my kids are gonna grow up repeating the same unhealthy behaviors.



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