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Thread: New and confused, need help!

  1. #1
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    Default New and confused, need help!

    Hi, so I'm brand new to dancing, and I already feel like I'm doing everything wrong. I just started dancing at this club and I went in for an audition and was the first dancer there that night after they hired me, so I made some money dancing on stage for the few people who were there. Anyway, I didn't make a lot of money, but it was my first night and since I was there first I made more than a lot of the other girls did since it's a pretty competitive scene where I live.

    Anyways, the second night rolls around and I accidentally showed up late since no one told me what time I needed to get there by, but management still lets me in. After I get ready the manager comes up to me and tells me he's going to get someone to show me some moves since I didn't really know any of the moves the other girls were doing and could really only sway and walk around the pole. So he brings me out to this girl and she starts being super mean (but trying to seem nice) and she's all like "omg its a good thing you came to me bc you were super bad at dancing and like the faces you were making were awful. seriously, everyone was laughing at you, the other strippers and the customers. you only made money that night bc u came early, like i overheard management talking about it and thats what they said, too. omg, how could you not realize the other girls were laughing at you all night? it's just that I know you're a nice girl and I don't want to see the other girls making fun of you, but seriously, everything you were doing was just so weird" and, mind you, she's saying all of this in front of a bunch of the other girls so it's totally humiliating. so I'm like, ok, ill try to be better, but she doesn't really show me what else to do so now I'm just shaken and super nervous. so I go back out on the floor and sit with a customer trying to hustle when she comes up again and is like, "just so you know, there's a rule that you can't do that while a girl is dancing, like, i know you didn't know, but the other girls are complaining to me and a lot of them already don't like you." so i was like ok, and I left the guy and just kind of hid in the DR.

    so at this point I'm really shaken and trying to keep from crying, and a few of the other girls notice this and come up to me and say nice, reassuring things, but I'm too nervous to dance and whenever I go onstage I'm super awkward and the customers don't even look at me. like, I get super close on stage and they actually look away, and they start leaving my stage to go watch the other girl on the other stage so basically, everything is going horribly.

    finally, after a long, stressful night, the cuties go home, but the club stays open for a while longer. this girl who is dancing who saw me being attacked by the mean girl earlier pulls me up onstage and tries to show me a few moves, and I try but most of them are out of my abilities. anyway, she's super nice about it and really helpful.

    So now I have a few questions. I don't know how to deal with this bully who is pretending to be nice by insulting me. I would just put up with it, but she's being so aggressive so openly that other girls are fighting for me and telling me to stand up for myself. So now it's like I have to choose between these two sides, because the other girls are really sweet but I don't want them to think I'm ignoring them, it's just that I really don't want to start anything with the stronger, older, mean girl who does a few lines of coke before she comes to the club every night.

    I also don't know how to thank the girl who taught me some moves. should I tip her the next time I see her? I'm not sure how to handle it because I feel like tipping her might be implying that what she was doing wasn't a friendly gesture but a monetary one, and I don't want to seem rude. I also don't want to tip her for helping me and then have the other girls find out about it, since the mean girl might expect me to tip her for "helping" me learn what not to do.

    I'm sorry this was so long, but I'm just kind of shaken and super self-conscious now, any help would be appreciated

  2. #2
    Veteran Member ShaylaSkates's Avatar
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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    A. Tipping a girl on stage is a sweet gesture, especially if it's with a customer's money.

    B. The dancer that showed you some moves probably did it because she was bored/felt like showing off/genuinely didn't want you t look like a many stripper on stage. She didn't do it for the money. If money was involved, she wouldn't be offering you help, because you're not the one giving her money

    C/ drop the waxkjob that keeps trying to be nice but says mean things. She's not worth it. Sh sounds jealous/

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  4. #3
    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    Hi..welcome to the forum!
    Of course you don't know quite what to do yet, you're brand new! Don't let ppl get you down.
    Do yourself a big favor & read all you can, this sect (Newb), also Hustle Hut & stripping, in that order if you can.
    Good luck & don't forget, read!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    God/dess tempest666's Avatar
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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    Better grow a pair or gtfo. There's no shame in admitting this industry isn't for you. But if you're this easily bullied then that opens up a whole Pandora's box of peer pressure. You have got to assert your boundaries early on in this industry.
    You'll either sink or swim. Nobody can determine that but you.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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  7. #5
    Veteran Member littlelizard's Avatar
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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    Well it's always hard your first day. They saw you as an easy target and tried to scare you away from the club. At my home club the girls were sooooooo mean to me when I first started because I was new, young, pretty, and making money. If you show them that their actions don't affect you, then they will eventually stop. You seem to have some supporters at the club rooting for you. But my best advice is to stick by yourself and focus on making money. You can't let that one cokehead get to you. Seriously. I'm sure you have bigger issues than that one cunt.

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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    Dealing with bullies can take many different forms.

    My advice would be to ignore her. You don't have to be confrontational, if that isn't your style. In my opinion, it's a better tactic anyway. You don't create or add to the club drama and you ARE standing your ground by refusing to be run off. Just show up and work.

    Think of this is part of the learning process of dancing. It's part of the mental game.

    When girls try to run others out of the club, it means they are afraid of the competition.

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  11. #7
    God/dess carmen_b's Avatar
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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    Girls acting weird or bullying is pretty normal in strip clubs. Just keep your contact minimal / cordial with any pests and keep selling .

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  13. #8
    Veteran Member RyanXO's Avatar
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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    They are just picking on you because you are new, plain and simple. Also it sounds like jealousy to me. Keep going strong, its only been your first couple of days. Besides, you can always go to a different club. Yes, there will always be catty bitches that is part of the business, but some clubs are worse than others. I know its hard but ignore them! Don't let the intimidate you. Don't let them win. Good luck you will do great and congrats are your first few days!!!

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    Default Re: New and confused, need help!

    She's jealous and threatened. Also probably on drugs , and she sees you as an easy target she can bully cause you won't stand up for yourself. You NEED to assert yourself, like, now. Or this will never stop. They are trying tof figure out where you fall in the pecking order. Don't start a physical fight but tell her where to fucking go next time. Or walk away and go make your money w a smile on your face. Bullies like that are weak pussies, once you stand your ground they run away. And youre doing exactly what she wants..hiding in the DR instead of making money!! The customers probably weren't laughing at you, they were checking u out and she got threatened.

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