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Thread: Roomate situation

  1. #1
    Veteran Member nattyfetish's Avatar
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    Dizzy Roomate situation

    There is one of my best friends that i have known since i was little and there is my boyfriend with which i am in a relationship of 7 years. Me and my boyfriend decided to help my best friend cause she barely had any money to buy herself some new clothes & crashed on friends places very often (she fighted with her parents). I am camming so I told her about what i do and she was open to it. But what she does is not important. They are both stubborn personalities. They had a big argument at the begining at the year but my boyfriend said we should all talk and figure it out cause if she moves out our friendship will kinda ruin. I was angry with her too at that point cause when i sent her a nice message for new year's eve she sent me an awful one so she ruins it for me - cause she was angry with my boyfriend.

    And everything was fine cause we talked and figured it out. Untill one night when we went out with my boyfreinds friends. Boys were talking like boys in a corner and us girls were talking girl stuff a meatre away. My best friend went to show my bf something on her phone and he rasied his tone and told her to leave and let him alone. She got angry and told him to shut up or she will smack his head with the phone (in front of his guy friends- guy pride imagine that). Since that moment they gave eachother the silence treatment.

    I talked with my boyfriend and defended my best friend telling him he overreacted but he said he didn't raised his tone because of the phone thing. That was the cherry on top only. He said he feels like she acts like a princess, we always buy stuff for the house and she doesn't evan offer to give the money and that she acts rude with one of his guy friends that she does not like ( this guy friend wanted to come and sleep over to our house and she said she lives in the apartment too and she doesnt want him there - in front of all of his other friends).

    I get both of their sides. I truely do. But i am in the middle of two persons i love. My boyfriend simply does not talk with her anymore & if before this we took her with us everywhere now he doesn't want her to come with us anywhere. She did not talk with me for a few (she has this tendency if she fights with my boyfriend she feels the needs to not talk with me too, like: if i am not friend with your bf i am not friends with you either), than she talked with me again, now she says good morning and stuff but i am not sure when she talks with me or she is upset.

    I am in a weird situation that makes my heart ache and makes me feel so stressed out. Did i wrong for not messing between them two ? I don't take sides. She is a good girl evan tough she has her moments (like i told you before). But i really don't know what to do. I waited to see if i can figure something out but i see no easy way out. That is why i am waiting on your opinions. Maybe i don't think clear because it's two persons i love.

    I am also scared because i cam full time and barely have any time to make new friends/have like 2 best friends that i can talk all sorts of shit with (her and another girl). So maybe I am scared because of that too.

    Thank you for taking your time to read this freakin drama long novel.

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  3. #2
    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roomate situation

    It's not good idea for you guys to stay living together . I would ask her to start looking for another place if I were you. Things will only get worse if you continue living together.
    xoxo

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  5. #3
    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roomate situation

    I assume you see yourself being with your bf forever, right? If so, she has to move out. That's the only way you will be able to keep them both. She is a big girl. She can find her own way.

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  7. #4
    Veteran Member nattyfetish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roomate situation

    Thank you very much for the advices ! You are both right. I kinda of knew that is the answer. But i needed another point of view from somebody that is not envolved in all this & can think clearly. I am too much of a wuss to tell her cause I know she will get upset and take it personally (she is the type that gets upset easy). Oh well , I guess she will get upset evan if i tell her she should move or not. So I'd better get my big girl pants and tell her soon. I do see myself with my boyfriend forever. Evan tough you never know what life might give you, he is my best friend in the first place right now (not only a lover). Gosh, it sucks beeing in this situation, especially when you know you just wanted to help somebody !

    LATER EDIT: Yeah, so i decided to wait a little on telling her to move. Bad bad thing to do. One day i saw her cry right when i was about to go out the door(she was hiding it, i saw her red eyes). And than she decided to not evan answer my "hi" anymore. I hate it so much, she make me feel so anxious and stressed and my heart ache. She always waits for me to come to her and beg her to tell me whats wrong, to talk it out. Now its not my fault tough, so i want her to come to me to talk. If she doesn't want it, she doesn't want us to be friends anymore thats it. She makes me feel scared to approach her, scared to be around her cause she makes me feel sad. I actually avoid her around the house and have no idea why, i just do it. She feels like one of those toxic friends right now.

    Am I wrong to want her to come to me to talk ? She will eventually talk with me but not by sayin something nice: she will say something to hurt my feelings. Somethiog like: yeah you didnt care that i was cryin, thank you. bye.

    I feel like crap. I know her since we were babies. We have good and bad history together. We grew up now tough. I can't throw to trash a long term relationship (for no reason) to make her feel better.
    Last edited by nattyfetish; 07-28-2016 at 01:09 AM.

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  9. #5
    Veteran Member nattyfetish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roomate situation

    I am not sure it's ok to write 2 posts in a row. Please feel free to edit/delete if it's against the rules.

    I just wanted to give a little update and advice for other girls out there that find themselfs in a same situation at one point. Never ever be roomates with a best friend. Of course chances are that you are going to get along amazing but there is a 50% chance that it will go so so BAD. Don't take those 50% chance girls, it will hurt like hell if it goes bad.
    My best friend finally decided to talk with me. How tough ? She came in to ask for her skype nickname cause she forgot it than she went to her room and startd to talk to me on skype chat. She told me how she felt, she kept reaching the subject of my boyfriend not talking with her & i kept telling her that it's about me&her not him. I told her in the end that my door is open if she ever needs me cause i won't just delete 24 years of friendship. She told me she won't knock on any door anymore & that everything ends in life. She just gave up.

    Now i am in vacation and she called me because of a random thing around the house and we talked like nothing happened. Than i texed her by mistake instead of somebody else and again we chatted a little like everything was ok. I was feeling very anxious while we did cause she kinda made it clear for her the friendship is over. But no matter what, i will tell her she needs to move (i already gave her major hits she has to move in our skype conversation). The cycle will continue if she doesn't move. We are going to maybe make up than a period will be rainbows than we will fight again badly.

    Just don't ever move with a best friend. Maybe if u live in a big house at opposite rooms of that house. But not evan than. There will be discussions, you are going to see every little flaws you both have, one of you at least is gonna expect to spend time together all the freaking time. Don't do the same mistake as i did. Now i feel so anxious and each time she calls/text i feel like crying. It's gonna get better but i gotta be strong i guess.

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    God/dess whirlerz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roomate situation

    Well, I hope it works out. She sounds immaturre, & I'd guess she's have trouble getting along w/most people, seems spolied too? I don't know her obviously..
    But yea, room mate sitch's can be difficult no matter what.
    Eveyone wants their way, & there has to be a compromise.
    Best of luck to you.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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  13. #7
    Veteran Member nattyfetish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Roomate situation

    She is pretty spoiled. She is very social and talks easy with people but has high expectations from them (i oftenly fighted with her when she was not my roomate for the fact that i didn't call her everyday or wasn't able to answer her call) & gets upset very very easy. So we could say she can easyly find friends but it's hard for her to get along with them for a long time (aka not get upset/fight a little).

    The fact about roomates: everyone is raised diffrently & when living together you clash. That's why i advise woman in general to move in with their boyfriends before doing bigger steps. So they see if they are compatible in the house together, if they can figure it out. You can be great together as friends but horrible as roomates ugh.

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