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Thread: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

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    Thumbs down not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    so I've been dancing about three years on and off and I'm going back here in a couple weeks (if this stupid cold would go away) and one of the things I struggle with is confrontation. I don't like it when people are mad at me and i don't like confronting a customer esp during a dance it just makes things awkward >_< we all get the guys that want to be heavily grinded on or tries to lick/kiss nipples, stomach, neck, etc... my go-to excuse is hey that's not allowed so none of that but what can I say when I get the whole "but no ones looking" without killing the sexy dance vibe. I hate customers that do this but I hate confrontation and feel stuck when this happens and don't know how to save the sale. please no rude "doh" comments I'm not entirely new but haven't been in the game for awhile...

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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    If it'd licking or kissing they are going for I ask how they would feel if I let everyone do that and if they really want to lick and kiss after another man might have. As far as guys just pushing too far and trying to grind or put fingers where they shouldn't, if he is REALLY spending I will giggle and say "Oh the cameras or dance counter might catch us. I can't lose my job, sweetheart! You're so cute, but I just can't relax if I think we might get caught." *pout* *big eyes*

    If he's just a low baller I walk the fuck out, after a warning or too. That shit kills MY vibe for the entire night and it's not worth it to dodge and correct for pocket change.

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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    If they try to grab, lick or kiss my boobs, I cuff my hands over them & if they try to put their hands anywhere near my private area, I grab & place their hands on my waist . If they have money & are persistent at trying, I play flirty & say, "you're making me want you, I wish you CAN touch all over me but I don't want us to get into any trouble." Something along those lines . If he is broke/cheap, I say bluntly not to touch me . If he keeps trying, I get my money from him & leave .

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    Veteran Member buttonpop's Avatar
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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    I have learned that you can say pretty much ANYTHING and not kill the vibe as long as you do it with a bubbly voice and a smile. I will say one of many lines:

    This job is my livelihood, this is how I feed myself and pay my bills, so please don't put my job at risk, they do have cameras and I will get fired. we can still have plenty of fun following the rules! *smile and rub their neck a little*

    Careful! no touching is allowed there. I know you're a gentlemen so you will respect my rules, right? *smile and wink*

    in response to "no one is looking": Well there are cameras (even if their aren't, doesnt matter, say it anyway!) and the club owner is standing right over there *points ambiguously toward a crowd* I'd rather not be fired today. lets just follow the rules and have fun, okay?!

    You know, its a lot more fun for both of us if you follow the rules. I'd hate to have to give you an air dance! *giggles*


    I know it may be uncomfortable at first to assert your boundaries, but with time and practice these lines will become second nature and you'll find yourself able to move onto even more assertive lines like "please dont cross my boundaries, i've asked you once already and if you do it again i'm going to have to end the dance without a refund". It takes a lot of confidence and practice to be able to confidently say "no" but I promise you, you will feel soooo good once you've done it!! Nothing is worse than the feeling of having a customer continue to grope you because you were too afraid to say no loud/strong/serious enough. Another tip I've learned is that it become harder to say "no" after you've let it continue the first time. Say a customer gets too close to touching you somewhere off limits and instead of saying "careful babe! getting a little too close there *smile*" you just say nothing and hope it doesn't happen again. Then it does happen again and you think "i've already let it happen before and now its even harder to say no!"

    Practice saying these phrases in the mirror a few times before using them. I know it seems silly but it will mean the difference between loving your job and hating it, I promise.
    Do your future self a favor and work hard now.

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    Featured Member rareaspasia's Avatar
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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    I tell them that there are cameras, which is true, and that I'll be fired.

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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    Sometime you have to be firm. Cause some of these intoxicated men and men with no home training won't take no for an answer.

    Don't worry about confrontation - that's what security is there for.

    Best way to teach dudes a lesson is to get paid in advance and threaten to leave if they don't get it together. And no they don't get refunds lol!
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    I just blame all boundaries on the club " I need the money and have to follow their rules " ect.

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    Default Re: not a total noob but I have a question for other dancers

    thank you for all the responses ladies I love all the great advice! I'm actually excited to go back with a positive attitude and better hustle skills ;P

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