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Thread: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

  1. #1
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    So you have this friend who you talk to at a level varying from once or twice a month to almost every day, averaging out to probably a few times a week over the 8 years you have known eachother. You met at university, but between changing schools, jobs, and career paths, you haven't been in the same physical location the rest of the time. Topics of conversation have ranged from your "uni" jobs to the struggles of being new grads, to hating #adulting, various conspiracy theories, philosophy, history, politics, business, organised crime, strip clubs/the sex/drug industry, geopolitics, netflix and TV, animals, dreams for pretty much everything under the sun, the various forays both of us have had into entrepreneurship, and of course, there have been a plethora of both sober and wine-fuelled flirting sessions. He asked me to go on a trip with him a couple years ago and thats where things kind of got interesting...we hung out later that year and it felt so...natural. I've been comparing guys I date to him for years...and have thought I must be delusional or something for entertaining the thought of this guy in my head, he lives LITERALLY on the other side of the country. Like basically in Alaska other side of the country. It's been fucking torture. But at the same time the distance has meant that there has been nothing physical between us...till this weekend. The few times the opportunity has come up before, either me or him has skirted around it in some way, I don't know what his reasonings are for sure but for me it was kind of a "...but if we have sex and it's awesome...then what..." type of logic. It's one thing to compare guys you date to a fantasy version of whoever, but actually KNOWING that someone is more perfect for you than anyone else you've dated is super freakin terrifying. Especially when it's not exactly easy to just try dating them and see how it goes, no concequences to be had that you actually care about.

    And yeah, in case you didn't guess, that's exactly where I'm at right now. I want to die and I want to fly at the same time. Feel like puking butterflies and crying at the same time. We had sex for the first time FINALLY, and it was pretty much as perfect as you could get for a first time. Gee I wonder why that might be? Like exceeded my expectations pretty much perfect. Which never happens.

    What the fuck now.

    I feel like I may have found my lobster...or realised that I had a lobster all along...and he wants to get on a plane to go 5000km away in 5 days. Kiiiillllllll meeeee.

    What the hell would you do in this situation.
    Last edited by Odette; 07-26-2016 at 06:12 PM.
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

  2. #2
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    Sounds like you enjoy the guy, the relationship, the sex, and the travel.

    What do you want to do?
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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  4. #3
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    I want to date him! But how! I'm meeting him in an hour. I don't know if I should play it cool, as normal, or given the odd and specific situation with limited time available, just basically tell him exactly how conflicted I feel, ask him how he feels, and decide what to do about it. Option number three I guess would be to play it cool for a few days, and make sure my conclusions stay the same, then spill before he leaves, but that could go either very well or not...if he doesn't see a possibility at all (which I doubt would be the case, who stays friends with someone for 8 years just to bang them one time right), talking about it sooner rather than later would leave some time to make sure that friendship stays intact if we somehow are not on the same page about everything. I'm fairly sure he feels the same or similar about me. The only thing left was to get a real life comparison, which we now have. I guess we need to metaphorically compare notes.
    Last edited by Odette; 07-27-2016 at 04:34 AM.
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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  6. #4
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    I'd go with what your intuition is telling you to do.

    Me personally I'd say something. Guys know, unless its agreed upon beforehand that its nsa sex, that once they have a sexual relationship then the woman will become attached and emotional.

    I'd rather get it off my chest, face a fear, and deal with the outcome, then wonder what if and have regrets.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Veteran Member Dominic.2's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    Odette,

    The butterflies are a good indication. Check you heart. Imagine that you lost him and lost this chance. What you do? If the honest answer is you'd find a way to chase after him within 24 hours of "losing" him perhaps forever -- plane, rail, drive, .. whatever it takes. Then you know the answer. I agree with everything miss.a.p1600 wrote in post #4. Be direct and open with him and take this chance.

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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    Things have changed with new technology and long-distance relationships can be very rewarding. I live in Switzerland and my fiancee lives in Mississippi. We see each other once a month or so, usually for a week or more. She comes here or we go to Cancun, etc. In between we use WhatsApp for an hour or so each day so we can talk for free and exchange pictures and videos.

    But the most important thing is that when you are apart, you appreciate each other more when you do get to see each other. We have sex every day we are together and can't wait! We have been together now almost five years. I think we talk more than most couples who live together all of the time. There are a number of guys at my work who are in the same situation, and although they were skeptical at first, both them and their partner now think long-distance relationships are an interesting part of life. My daughter also had one, and now they are living happily together with a new child.

    May not work for you, but don't let distance get in the way of your special one.

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  12. #7
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    That is exactly what I have been thinking...I know if this were a normal situation I would give it more time to develop but yes...with the limited time I know I have I just want to find out as much as I can...we made tentative plans to meet up before he leaves and I hope I can buck up the courage to just word vomit out what I am thinking worst case scenario at least...because if he is leaving...it's not like I will have another opportunity to vocalize this anytime soon.

    Interjection though: chatted with a guy friend after our date tonight, who said "you've been talking to him for 8 years, it's not like you're going to stop. Just play the long game and stop freaking out!" He has a point. I thought it was interesting...he was all like ok, you're into him, so what...maybe keep talking to him more and try to plan a trip or two so you guys can hang out more frequently...seemed like an interesting perception of the situation. I could use a travel buddy!
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

  13. #8
    Featured Member Odette's Avatar
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    Default Re: WTF do you do when they are perfect but live on the other side of the country!!!

    IDGAF...I am going balls deep with this one. Life doesn't throw you a lot of *almost* perfect matches...I can definitely count mine on one hand thus far...seems silly to throw this one away over something like location when some of the far more important checkmarks are there already. In it for the long game, but definitely have an agenda. Call me nuts but I don't care if it takes another 2-3 years to go somewhere, when you've hung around this long...the potential is there, and I don't take that lightly...for now all I'm hoping for is a fun travel buddy...fingers crossed...who knows what might pan out in life right! thanks for reading my angst ramblings all done for now lol
    "We can't expect you to just know all the secrets of our top-secret-titty-club!" --Jenna Marbles

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