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Thread: Dealing with negative coworkers

  1. #1
    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Dealing with negative coworkers

    I love the people I work with, but there is this one girl who does nothing but bitch and complain. She complains about there being no money, and when she does make money, she bitches about how the customer was rude, or grabby, or snobby, etc. She has frequent meltdowns in the dressing room because someone spanked her, the bouncers didn't come to her rescue, nobody cares about her, how she needs a ride home because even in her 30s she doesnt have a driver's licence because nobody will help her get one, blah blah blah. She is constantly approaching me because she "needs positive energy". I told her that you don't get positive energy from me, you get it from God/the Universe. Basically she is known at work as The Negative Girl Who Constantly Bitches/Energy Vampire/Look at me, I Need Attention Girl.

    I try to avoid her. I try not to make eye contact with her. I will not give her rides home.
    I'm afraid I'm going to snap at her someday and tell her to stfu and be grateful for a change that she even has a job. Then she'll probably play victim and cry that she got yelled at.

    How do you deal with these people?

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  3. #2
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    I avoid them as much as possible. Maybe bring headphones to work (even if you aren't actually playing anything) so you appear unapproachable in the DR; don't go into the DR much; get out asap at the end of your shift so you're not subjected to her whining; don't make eye contact; give vague, one-word answers if she approaches you until she goes away; possibly work when she doesn't if that's not going to fuck with your schedule too much? And if she does freak out that you're being "mean" because you're ignoring her, not to sound cold but, oh well.

    Sometimes, I attempt to derail people like this by specifically mentioning something positive in their life or complimenting them, but honestly, this backfires like 90% of the time, because when someone is so far into that victim mentality, they can literally spin anything you feed them into something negative, so most of the time, it really is best to just remain neutral and silent so they burn themselves out with nothing to feed on and then move on to the next person. I have honestly gotten really good at not even listening to people when they go on whiny tirades. Like, for real, my mind is just a million miles away. They can bitch all they want, and it won't matter to me because I'm not listening as I make my mental grocery list or whatever.

    My goal, eventually, with these types of people is to get to a place where their negativity doesn't even bother me because I just feel sorry for them. Because, seriously, she must be an absolutely miserable person. And while that can be draining on other people, it doesn't have to be if you can get yourself into a state where you're just like "I'm over here having my feelings and she's over there having her feelings, but her meltdown has nothing to do with me and can't affect me." It's hard to get and stay in that place though, so if I just can't deal with a certain person's brand of negativity some days, I just get away from them quickly and stay away until I've had time to calm down, meditate, and work myself back into a place where I can brush if it off if they were to come back around.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    I don't really talk to any of my coworkers except like a casual hey how are you to one or two. I always have headphones when I'm in the dressing room so I can listen to music and not hear the other girls. I think all you can do is keep avoiding this girl and listen to music if she's ever in the dressing room so you don't hear her negative comments. The last thing I would want to do is confront her about it because she sounds like the ultimate drama queen lol and would definitely turn it into another pity party for herself.

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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    Don't pay her any attention . She will suck away your energy & even being around her may shift your energy . If she enters the DR while you're in there, leave . If she tries to talk to you, tell her you have to get back on the floor . You shouldn't be in the DR long enough to listen to music (unless you're gathering yourself for a quick five minutes)... At the end of the shift, don't acknowledge her presence, get your things ready & leave . If she whines you don't talk to her anymore & neither does anyone else, who cares ? You're there to make money, not friends . She doesn't make money cause she's negative & energy is felt by other ppl whether consciously or subconsciously .

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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    I like the ear buds idea. Gonna try that. Thanks ladies. This way I can listen to my meditation music while I'm getting ready.

    Trust me, I try to avoid contact at all costs. When I see her approaching me on the floor I start walking the other way in a way that says "Don't talk to me, I'm busy". Like I imagine myself in an impenetrable little bubble where she can't get to me.

    Pretty good at differentiating my mood from hers and when she starts to have a meltdown I simply leave the DR.

    Just sucks when you go to work and you see that the Energy Vampire is there. It's like oh great, here we go lol. Good news is that I work days and she works nights but sometimes I work nights too.

    What aggravates me though is that she bitches to customers too. She's rude, she whines at them, cuties even refer to her as The Sad Girl. Part of me wants to say something to management because this fucks with everyone else's money.

    Thanks for all the advice, ladies. Gonna try these suggestions.
    Last edited by LoveyDovey; 07-27-2016 at 09:01 AM.

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    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    Quote Originally Posted by whirlerz View Post
    Yea, that sucks! She sounds like a big baby I hate ppl like that!!
    Total big baby. I swear when you're in your 30s and you have to depend on everyone else for everything, then that is pretty sad.

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  12. #7
    Moderator Aurora_Sunset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    What aggravates me though is that she bitches to customers too. She's rude, she whines at them, cuties even refer to her as The Sad Girl.
    Maybe you can turn this around to your advantage? If you work the same shift as her and you see her being a Debbie Downer to a customer, go up to him after her and be overly bubbly and happy, and really push the "let's forget about all that negativity - we're here to have fun!" angle. They may be so relieved that you're the opposite of her that they'll rush to spend time and money with you.
    Don't try to win over the haters. You are not the Jerk Whisperer.

    Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.






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    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    Quote Originally Posted by Aurora_Sunset View Post
    Maybe you can turn this around to your advantage? If you work the same shift as her and you see her being a Debbie Downer to a customer, go up to him after her and be overly bubbly and happy, and really push the "let's forget about all that negativity - we're here to have fun!" angle. They may be so relieved that you're the opposite of her that they'll rush to spend time and money with you.
    Haha I've done this. Customers have even called me over with that "HELP ME" look on their faces.

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    Featured Member Starling's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    How do you deal with these people?
    Earbuds and noise cancellation app/music while in dressing room.

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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    I use headphones now even if I'm not listening to music, I know 2 cool girls but all they do is complain alot, I got a ton of double dances with one and she still is like "ugh! Soo slow, wanna go home, blah blah blah" and I'm super happy!!

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    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dealing with negative coworkers

    Oh my goodness, you work with my sister!

    Seriously. Lol. My sister is a lot like that; I literally zone her out and repeat some kind of mantra in my head.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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