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Thread: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clients.

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    Default My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clients.

    I apologize in advance if this post is not appropriate for this site and completely understand if this is not the place for it. (I posted in Industry Insight and was told to post this here as well)

    I could probably write an entire novel of details but I'll try to keep this short. My girlfriend started stripping a few months ago as a way to get herself in a financially stable place. I support her decision to provide for herself entirely but it's been a very confusing and taxing time for me. I know its all fantasy there and she has expressed that it is simply a job and that she "shuts off" while there in order to do what she has to do. It's just a job. The confusion I am feeling is all on me, not her.


    It's only been a few months though and I'm truly making progress on how I feel about the situation. I believe in her and am so proud that she would have the guts to make a choice that she knows would be viewed as taboo by most, including her family and friends. She kicks ass.


    The question here though is, do you think some of the people she meets there could make good friends for her even if the friendship was sparked through a sex-industry job such as stripping? She has expressed to me that sometimes she meets some cool people there and that she could see herself having a strictly platonic relationship with them. I have been apprehensive of this idea because I feel that the sexual nature of a place like a strip club would cast an inherently sexual nature over the friendship right from the start. It's not her I'm worried about, I trust her completely. It's the intentions of the people she is meeting there that I don't trust. I fear most for her physical safety and that there are so many men out there who use friendship as a way of establishing what they "deserve" or what they are "owed" from a woman, regardless of how they met. She has explained that she simply feels lonely after deciding her previous group of friends were not good for her, that she wants more friends in her life and that she doesn't have enough time or energy outside of her two jobs to make that happen.


    She says she understands that the idea probably makes me uncomfortable and that she won't make any decisions without us coming to an agreement, but I can tell she resents me for it a bit since it has come up in some recent disagreements. I don't at all get to decide who she begins a friendship with, I'm just feeling conflicted. I feel like she is still very new to this and may not have the experience required to recognize the intentions of some of these people.


    So yeah, that's where I'm at. Any advice or opinions would be amazing. I'm not posting this to "hear what I want to hear". Input from people within the industry would be really valuable to me right now.

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    Veteran Member RyanXO's Avatar
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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    You aren't wrong to be concerned. I would say it's not a good idea to make "friends" in the club and meet them outside. Clients are Just clients. Nothing more. Besides there are lots of safety issues involved with that. I think it's great you are open to her stripping but having clients be friends is a bad idea.

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    God/dess audritwo's Avatar
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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    This is dumb of her. You're completely right to be concerned for her safety, and what it could turn into. If you've read threads in customer connections, you'll see there's so many threads where clients misinterpret hustle for actual feelings. I can understand how she might think her customers are cool, but they should just be that. Boundaries are important for safety and well-being. If she needs more friends, have her sign up here on stripperweb. It's a great community. If she feels isolated over her work, there are safer ways to meet cool people outside of work like meetups.





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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    It's stupid for her to do this not only for safety reasons, but she will likely suffer financially if she makes 'friends' with customers because friends do not pay for time spent.


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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    To be frank, it sounds like she wants to keep her options open under the guise of "platonic friends". Otherwise I cant imagine why she'd want to inject this and jeopardize your relationship. Just my humble opinion.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    After all, who doesn't want a platonic relationship with a stripper, after looking at her tits and pussy while she gives you a lap dance.

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    God/dess Athenathefabulous's Avatar
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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    does she mean people she meets in the club as in coworkers or customers?

    Being friends with coworkers: IMO totally ok and natural, also they are people with a common experience and people to vent back and forth to about work.

    Being friends with customers: bad idea, all around. I have met some very cool customers who if i met them in different circumstances, i would be friends with them, but i met them at work and im at work to make money, not friends. I have enough friends outside of work. My husband i know would NOT be ok with me becoming friends with a customer, and I dont blame him. You guys need to have boundaries,.. it sounds like you are OK with her job, cool, power to you both. The both of you need to figure out the appropriate boundaries to separate work life and personal life that are good for both of you.

    also, sometimes newer dancers are naive. Idk, i dont want to be friends with someone who paid me to grind on his dick. Nor do i think they just want to be friends with me after they paid me to have a hard on. juss sayin...
    The best thing i have heard in a strip club to date:
    customer: we should get married right now! we should get a shotgun marriage!
    me: uhh... i think you are misunderstanding what a shotgun marriage means. A shotgun marriage means you knock me up and my daddy shows up at your door with a gun and forces you to marry me and raise the baby. You mean elope.
    customer: hmm... nah actually i will take the shotgun marriage. At least then we would be having sex.


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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    See my response in your other thread.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
    Tempest

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    ^^mine too

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Well, I suppose that it is as good an excuse as any for getting texts/calls from random guys.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    yeah, that seems highly inappropriate to me. expecting a partner to be okay with dancing as a job is one thing. having regulars can be debatable but for the most part i'd say that's business and understandable.

    but if you have a boyfriend IMO you shouldn't be making "friends" with and hanging out with with guys from bars... work or not. that's not cool under any circumstances. would she want you going out by yourself to clubs and making "friends" with random drunk girls? i doubt it.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Quote Originally Posted by Girl Anachronism View Post
    yeah, that seems highly inappropriate to me. expecting a partner to be okay with dancing as a job is one thing. having regulars can be debatable but for the most part i'd say that's business and understandable.

    but if you have a boyfriend IMO you shouldn't be making "friends" with and hanging out with with guys from bars... work or not. that's not cool under any circumstances. would she want you going out by yourself to clubs and making "friends" with random drunk girls? i doubt it.
    Exactly.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    No no no no.

    Maybe one or two dancers might be ok to be friends with, but this industry attracts unstable people a lot of the time.

    Customers... no. In the last several years of dancing, I can think of 3 off the top of my head that are 'normal' enough to be friends with outside the club... and 2 of them would be trying to date me so ixnay them.
    So if in my YEARS of doing this I can only come up with 3 that are potentially ok, what is the likelihood your gf will meet any that quickly? And does she have a good enough Psychopath/Bullshit-o-Meter to tell the crazies from the potentially normal ones? I seriously doubt it.

    It sounds like she has gotten caught up in the fun of meeting people and the lifestyle and wants to be immersed in it. She needs to keep her job separate from her home life.
    "People jack off with the left hand and point with the right."

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Great answers ladies.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post
    She needs to keep her job separate from her home life.
    This would serve her well.

    In my 12 years of dancing, I've only very recently hung out platonically with 2 customers I've known for AGES, and they still come in and spend on me, but this is NOT the norm.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Sorry but what is the real point of becoming friends with your customers again? I guess she has not thought about her safety nor your feelings in this matter. Also will she make more money being their friend? Nope because they believe that she will be available at their discretion. Then they will not have to pay her anything. I understand that she is newbie but she must think about the cons of having close relationships with her customers.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Maybe she just wants you to think these friendships are platonic.
    "never trust a big butt and a smile"-- Bell Biv DeVoe

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Agreed. She wants you to think they're platonic.

    There aren't going to be platonic friendships with guys she meets at the clubs - there's always going to be sexual undertones. She knows that you'd be upset if she told you that she was going to meet up and fuck them for money, so she has to present it to you in a more palatable way, to make you go along with it. Let's face it, you can make yourself believe anything you want to believe, even if you know it's not true.

    You have every right to be concerned and it's obvious what's going on here. You're either ok with it or you're not but whichever it is, she has to be honest with you. If you're not ok with it and can't accept it, just break up with her and move on, because the situation is doomed at this point. If you're able to accept that she's going to sleep with other guys for money, tell her so and get it out in the open, so you don't have to go through all of the lies and games.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    I'm going to disagree with most of the posters here, a tiny bit.

    For the most part, platonic friendships are a no go. BUT when you work a sloooooooow dayshift club with regulars that come in frequently (and stay all day), you do start to develop a rapport with them. I have four customers that I would In fact consider to be actual friends. One was never a dude who got dances (but always bought drinks), one was a dude who always tipped me for my time, one was a dude who would get 10-20 dances once or twice a week, and one was a dude who paid me, and others, to sit around and drink. I text these regulars once or twice a week (especially now that I'm in a whole different state), and am Facebook friends with three of them. I listen to their stories, praise their successes, and just generally feel very comfortable with them (they're like my weird uncles or brothers at this point). They all know about my boyfriend, they all know what's going on in my life, and while two of them I'm sure would love to see me naked, they know it's never going to mean anything sexual or romantic for me.

    That being said: she's still very new to the industry, and doesn't quite understand people and they way they operate in it. Give it some time. If her platonic customer friends truly want to be friends, they'll understand that a level of trust needs to be there before she should even think about handing out her phone number. Also, friends don't hide their personal lives from each other, ask her if these "platonic friends" would change their tune should you happen to show up when they hang out.
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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Depends what you mean by friends. If its friends (clients) she only see at the club, fine. If its friends (clients) that she bring home to met you, that odd and possibly concerning, if its friends (hot strippers) that she brings home to "meet" you, hell yeah! .

    Honest a stripclub is a like Los Vegas, what happens in the stripclub should stay in the stripclub (review board are an extension of stripclubs and other adult institutions IMO, its all apart of the same world).

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    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    You are definitely not the type of customer that any sex worker should have as a friend. Between you hitting everyone in the face with your men's rights bullshit and well-known extra seeking with little pay,you are just a nightmare both as a man and customer. Personally, I believe that you should pay more money to any stripper or other sex worker to deal with you even on the platonic level.

    Quote Originally Posted by Omegaphallic View Post
    Depends what you mean by friends. If its friends (clients) she only see at the club, fine. If its friends (clients) that she bring home to met you, that odd and possibly concerning, if its friends (hot strippers) that she brings home to "meet" you, hell yeah! .

    Honest a stripclub is a like Los Vegas, what happens in the stripclub should stay in the stripclub (review board are an extension of stripclubs and other adult institutions IMO, its all apart of the same world).

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Late to the thread, but there are 7 billion people on the planet there is no need to be friends with customers in just about any industry. Best to keep business as business. Other good reasons are stated on the thread, but keeping business separate from personal life is a good way to make both work best. There is no need to lose business over personal life or make a personal life more complicated by inviting business home.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Or, don't sh** where ya eat!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    Absolutely not.
    If you guys are going to discuss regulars, that I understand. Maybe she wants to give them a way to contact her so they can come visit her at the club? Are you ok with that? THAT is understandable but hanging out with customers outside of the club is a boundary my bf and I have and rightfully so.

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    Default Re: My girlfriend is new to stripping & wants to have platonic friendships with clien

    A number that is exclusively a business number, not a personal number has been a way of approaching that, that I've read some strippers use.

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