Results 1 to 10 of 10

Thread: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

  1. #1
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 42 Times in 11 Posts

    Default feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    okay so bear with me, I have been dancing on and off for a few years, mostly when I fall behind and things get tough at home money wise I'll go back and get back on my feet. it's nice to have it to fall back on. anyways. I've always danced straight. the other night however I did a CR with a customer and he caught me off guard when he pulled me to him (hate when guys do this just let me do my thing and don't force me anywhere) and he kissed me, no gross tongue or anything I didn't exactly kiss him back but he put his mouth to mine and it made me feel extremely shitty and idk how to get over it. of course I told him I don't really do that and to keep his mouth to himself but I haven't forgotten about it and I do have a husband and I am feeling guilty even though I didn't initiate it or keep it going because I have ALWAYS danced clean and now I just feel disgusting or like I'm just making excuses for myself. how can I just forget this happened? help

  2. #2
    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,744
    Thanks
    5,454
    Thanked 7,169 Times in 2,230 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    This was not your fault. You have nothing to feel guilty about. He tried to force it and you shut it down. You are not disgusting, you did not purposefully cross boundaries, you are not in the wrong here. Don't feel guilty for something someone else did to you. I'm sorry this happened to you. These asshole who cross boundaries are just that...assholes. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm so sorry. Why do these jerks have to pull crap like this?

  3. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to LoveyDovey For This Useful Post:


  4. #3
    Veteran Member pinklemonade0's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Europe
    Posts
    228
    Thanks
    290
    Thanked 369 Times in 144 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    There was no intention on your part so you absolutely are not to blame.

  5. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to pinklemonade0 For This Useful Post:


  6. #4
    Featured Member
    Joined
    Dec 2014
    Posts
    758
    Thanks
    264
    Thanked 1,365 Times in 483 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    You were sexually assaulted at your workplace and this is in no way your fault. It's common for women to blame themselves in these situations but it's something that was totally out of your control and the customer crossed the line and assaulted you.

  7. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Layla.00 For This Useful Post:


  8. #5
    Featured Member We had a rabbit like you's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2016
    Location
    In a dive near you
    Posts
    1,039
    Thanks
    1,191
    Thanked 2,946 Times in 850 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    This victim blaming fucked up society makes assault survivors feel guilty, how on earth was that your fault?? He forced it on you. You have every right to feel upset, but not at yourself!!!

  9. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to We had a rabbit like you For This Useful Post:


  10. #6
    Veteran Member Miss_Red's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2014
    Location
    PDXXX
    Posts
    279
    Thanks
    1,828
    Thanked 1,167 Times in 220 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    In an emergency situation, 70% of people will either freeze or wander around in a daze. It's THE most common fight-or-flight reaction.

    A kiss isn't the same as a natural disaster, but I think the parallels are obvious. You might have frozen for a second. Maybe you put up with it for longer than you wish you had. Maybe, in the moment, you were OK with it for a fraction of a second before your boundaries reasserted themselves and you shut that shit down. (Or maybe not, I don't know obviously, but that's a place I've been before at any rate).

    These things happen. Freezing up in moments of tension is really, really common, and it's a reaction rooted in biology and instinct. I don't think you should be mad at yourself. Go easy on yourself. Someone pushed your boundaries, and you shut it down as soon as you recovered your composure. You did everything right. Hugs.

  11. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Miss_Red For This Useful Post:


  12. #7
    Veteran Member gummygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Candyland
    Posts
    221
    Thanks
    628
    Thanked 229 Times in 102 Posts
    My Mood
    Daring

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    Shit, I feel ya. I'll be the 100th girl to say it's not your fault!
    They don't care. Just wondering, did you get the bouncers?

  13. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to gummygirl For This Useful Post:


  14. #8
    Senior Member
    Joined
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    58
    Thanks
    269
    Thanked 73 Times in 39 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    You were assaulted, as everyone has said. It's not your fault.
    Take a few days off to get it out of your head. You're still a clean dancer.
    If customers are still going to be handsy, I'm keeping both layers of thongs securely in place, thankyouverymuch.
    ~~~Candycups

  15. The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Yourmomsstrippername7 For This Useful Post:


  16. #9
    Member
    Joined
    Jan 2016
    Posts
    23
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked 42 Times in 11 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    thank you guys a lot I feel better. I have taken yesterday today and tomorrow off and will be back Thursday night with a fresh start and a more positive mindset. on another note to add to one comment I always wear layers but never thought to wear more than one thong and I think I will from now on! I appreciate the kind words and I feel better about what happened. still angry but not at myself anymore. thank you guys a bunch.

  17. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to wellidontknowwho For This Useful Post:


  18. #10
    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    2,744
    Thanks
    5,454
    Thanked 7,169 Times in 2,230 Posts

    Default Re: feeling pretty shitty, advice anyone?

    Quote Originally Posted by wellidontknowwho View Post
    thank you guys a lot I feel better. I have taken yesterday today and tomorrow off and will be back Thursday night with a fresh start and a more positive mindset. on another note to add to one comment I always wear layers but never thought to wear more than one thong and I think I will from now on! I appreciate the kind words and I feel better about what happened. still angry but not at myself anymore. thank you guys a bunch.
    Hugs to you.

  19. The Following User Says Thank You to LoveyDovey For This Useful Post:


Similar Threads

  1. feeling really shitty...
    By papillonluvr in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 09-03-2009, 01:08 PM
  2. I was feeling really down... so I got pretty!
    By TheTempest in forum Picture Post
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 05-15-2008, 08:18 PM
  3. Pretty good eating advice
    By pennygirl in forum Body Business
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 01-12-2007, 07:14 PM
  4. feeling pretty down =(
    By georgiapeach in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 06-06-2006, 08:31 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •