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Thread: I think I'm in love with an escort!

  1. #26
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by absolutelyadorable View Post
    Oh shit! Not to thread Jack but I had no idea about this......I've heard of men turning down promotions/asking for demotions for this very reason but I didn't know they caught onto this already. Ha.
    Yep. No amount of intentional cheapness and demotions will save a person from trying to escape their responsibilities to the kids they created. It's called "imputed income". And judges will make them pay.

    But yeah OP. You're in lust not love. Take your time and think with your head on top of your shoulders.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by Elektra Luxx View Post
    I'm an escort, I create chemistry. Do really think it's about you? I do things I know will make you love me. It's what you want me to do. When we are together I'm in control of you and of everything that happens. That's why men fall in love with me.

    The problem is, you're in a bad place in your life. My smile, my face hides a predator and I went looking for someone like you. You're an easy mark. You're so easy manipulate. You're my puppet, my pet. You turn over your free will to me and I make you mine and you love it. You pledge your love, your life and your money, your will to me and worship me and adore me and that's why you come back for more of me and I created it from nothing. You have no idea who or what you're dealing with.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    The the OP...

    Speaking from experience...

    I say that for both of your sakes, you let her go and face your marriage and deal with your problems. Tell her this isn't fair to anybody and you need some time to figure out what to do about your marriage. You'd better hope and pray that she has the maturity and integrity not to screw you over and tell your wife. I don't judge you for what you did. People fall in love and it's something that happened and you can't take it back. You just have to forgive yourself and her and figure out what to do about your marriage, otherwise you guys will implode.

    I feel that if she truly loves you, she will let you go and keep quiet about everything.
    Hopefully this is not a hustle on her part.

    Do get tested, and really give this some thought. Yes it will be sad not seeing her, but you have unfinished business with your wife. Either stay in the marriage and work it out, or end the marriage. Doing what you are doing is only causing stress and unrest.


    Bottom line...you can't do the wrong thing and expect the right thing to happen, bro.

    Hope this helps.
    Last edited by LoveyDovey; 08-15-2016 at 09:34 AM.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    ^^^Was my post a bit too melodramatic? I was trying to make a point, although I did exaggerate, it's not too far from the truth. When someone wants to believe something is true and has given their life to that truth, then it is truth to that someone. Some call it magic, some call it religion and some call it science. Power over the heart and mind of a person can be humbling or intoxicating.
    Last edited by Elektra Luxx; 08-15-2016 at 08:14 AM. Reason: correction

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by Elektra Luxx View Post
    ^^^Was my post bit too melodramatic? I was trying to make a point, although I did exaggerated, it's not too far from the truth. When someone wants to believe something is true and has given their life to that truth, then it is truth to that someone. Some call it magic, some call it religion and some call it science. Power over the heart and mind of a person can be humbling or intoxicating.
    Not at all. It just reminded me of that scene.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Seriously, BamaDiver, she is just your fantasy girl. Why do you want to ruin a great business relationship because you fell for the fantasy? If you guys are really hellbent on seeing each other outside of the business relationship.....I hope that you have enough disposable income for her. However, I believe that you are trying to pull this woman into your unhappy marriage because you are looking for an easy way out. It is much easier to "fall in love" and tell your wife that you found another woman. Instead of just ending your unhappy marriage. Look, you need to get a divorce and meet some women in the local dating scene. Meanwhile, get yourself tested and always use protection next time.


    Quote Originally Posted by BamaDiver View Post
    Well I've been seeing this girl for a few months now. I am unhappily married and in my late 30's and she is in her mid 20's. We met through an agency but we hit it off so well right away so she gave me her personal number to reach her. We meet up several times a week now and she stopped asking for money a couple weeks ago. Actually, she told me I didn't have to pay her anymore because she liked seeing me but I still do sometimes just because she turns down clients to see me and i think it's making problems with her and her agency. We have spent the entire day and even overnight together on several occasions. We both have said that we have feelings for each other and chat on phone and text daily. Well as an escort she was by the book with me at first it was always covered BJ'S and covered sex and at first she was limited in what positions she would do. See I'm not a small guy but not exactly a porn star either but she is very petite and wouldn't ride me at first because she said I was too big after she tried it so it was always missionary and doggy which was great but I had told her I liked a girl on top. Well here recently after we confessed we were falling for each other she opened up a lot to me, she said she wanted what we had to be different then with her "clients". Sex now is different, far more passionate and she doesn't hold back. Well recently we were making out and when she went down on me she didn't go grabbing for a condom first which was a big surprise since she had always used one even for that. Then she asked if I would have sex with her without one. Now ok my mind was like "nooooo you can't do this" but of course my little head was wanting to. I told her I didn't think it was a good idea but she told me she really wanted to with me and it was something she had only done with her ex husband and an ex bf and she was on BC. Now I don't know how true all that was but seeing how careful she was up to that point and the feelings I have for her I couldn't resist. She even climbed on top of me and rode me really for the first time just because she knew I wanted that. Since then we are still having sex the same way, just as passionate and bare and we talk for hours about everything! She has told me if I ever leave my wife she would quit escorting and would be faithful to just me. I want to believe her and I want to be with her. She was an escort when I met her and I was a client so who am I to judge her, I don't.

    Is it possible though for a working girl to leave this life and settle down? I want to believe we can have a normal life together but I'm terrified one of us, probably me, is going to get hurt. The reason i saw an escort in the beginning was to avoid an emotional attachment that would come along with an affair but here we are now in that same situatiin i feared. Has anybody else here had this experience before? I've known guys who have met strippers and are now very happily married after the girls left that life behind but not an escort. Now I feel that I'm in love with this girl and want to be with her. Anyone have advise for me?

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    I'm going to play Devil's Advocate for a second here and say that it is totally possible to find love with a sex worker, since they are people too and it is 100% possible that you could meet someone who is compatible with you and enhances your life who just happens to be a sex worker. Sex work is just a job. Sometimes as the sex worker you don't expect to connect with your clients as much as you do and sometimes the clients also don't expect to wake up one day and find themselves thinking about you in more than just a provision capacity. So it is possible since we're all just people at the end of the day.

    With regards to this though...I have a client who is currently in a very similar situation to yours except he can't walk away for a few reasons. One, the amount of alimony he'd pay is insane. Then there would be be child support for 2 kids. Then there would be college soon as they are both almost there. Then there would be the mortgage that he'd pay on his house even though he wouldn't be living there anymore. Then his own living expenses. Then still healthcare for everyone...it adds up fucking quickly and in his case its just better to stay married and mess around on the side.

    Does that make it right? Not really. Is it prudent for him to do? Yes. You might be screwing yourself if you head into divorce-ville and then simultaneously pick up another woman for whom you have to care for financially. If you two truly are in love, you've gotta be ok with her escorting to make money, since you are going to be getting some crazy bills in the future, that shit just happens.

    PS: I'm not an escort, but I still deal with married men all the time and hear stuff like this all the time too.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by absolutelyadorable View Post
    Oh shit! Not to thread Jack but I had no idea about this......I've heard of men turning down promotions/asking for demotions for this very reason but I didn't know they caught onto this already. Ha.
    This makes me so happy that judges are onto this shit. In Alberta (where I grew up) I had a friend whose dad would quit jobs every 6 months because it took 6 months for the child support people to find him and start garnishing his wages. So every 6 months before garnishment started...he would quit. So he wouldn't have to pay child support for his 2 kids. His ex wife worked 3 jobs, she had nothing beyond high school and hadn't worked for 12 years when he left her because he had wanted her to be a stay at home mom, and she had been brought up that she needed to listen to her husband. Broke my fucking heart.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Am I the only one here who thinks the OP should just keep the gloves on, grow some balls and just keep fooling around on the side with this escort to keep the great sexual chemistry alive? Part of what makes affairs so exciting are that they are forbidden. As soon as the affair ends, you marry each other etc., it becomes a regular relationship and you pretty much get bored of each other because all the mystery and excitement is gone and the cycle continues. Get complacent and bored, look for someone new etc. The majority of the human race cannot maintain the idealistic fairytale of monogamy until death. It is truly rare to see couples last until death do they part. It's nice when it happens but, there are plenty of married business partnerships in the real world who maintain a facade and in the end, is there really anything wrong with it? Husband feels neglected sexually, has affair. Wife is OK with it because she no longer desires her husband sexually. He continues affair. She no longer has to feel obligated to have sex with him. No divorce needs to happen. They live happily ever after.
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    ^^^what I was referring to for the wealthy who have to pay "child support" is they set up sort of a trust fund where they deposit larger payments or a very large lump sum payment into an account. (Kind of like paying for a Lamborghini or a mansion in cash) so This way if they go broke/go mentally insane/get on drugs/etc during the kids 18 years, the kid will still have money and can still live at that same level and Becky won't go crazy and send him to jail for non payment of cs.

    Child support trust defined https://www.aussiedivorce.com.au/fam...rt-trusts.html (website is Australia based but the overall premise is the same)

    And yes most states have caps and limits on how much one can receive in child support, but some do not. OP you better check your cs laws in your state lol!!! Just in case you mess around going in raw and jizz in her.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 08-14-2016 at 08:26 PM.
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by Luckyguy09 View Post
    I don't believe in monogamy either, but cheating is so wrong and disgusting. You can have plenty of excitement while in a long term relationship if everyone agrees to a open relationship (i.e. swingers), which is fine, but when one party is left out of the loop it's simply not fair.....
    I totally agree but it's a catch 22. I started a thread where this topic was discussed. I'll find the link later but in essence people cheat 1) it's more exciting to do something you know you're not "supposed" to 2) the percentage of people cool with open relationships is apparently super low 3) society is judgemental as f*ck and 4) depending on where you live most religions and marriages are built on the premise of monogamy.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    I personally think sweet words early on is a huge indicator of something else.. She wasn't hesitant about using protection herself? I think leaving your wife should be a private issue and priority before giving something emotionally expressive to another. (Love is also a pretty blinding word)

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by hyori View Post
    Am I the only one here who thinks the OP should just keep the gloves on, grow some balls and just keep fooling around on the side with this escort to keep the great sexual chemistry alive? Part of what makes affairs so exciting are that they are forbidden. As soon as the affair ends, you marry each other etc., it becomes a regular relationship and you pretty much get bored of each other because all the mystery and excitement is gone and the cycle continues. Get complacent and bored, look for someone new etc. The majority of the human race cannot maintain the idealistic fairytale of monogamy until death. It is truly rare to see couples last until death do they part. It's nice when it happens but, there are plenty of married business partnerships in the real world who maintain a facade and in the end, is there really anything wrong with it? Husband feels neglected sexually, has affair. Wife is OK with it because she no longer desires her husband sexually. He continues affair. She no longer has to feel obligated to have sex with him. No divorce needs to happen. They live happily ever after.
    Normally I would agree with all of this. Like it or not, married men often stray, especially those with the means to do so (money, travel for work, etc.). The escorts and strippers on here know this all too well. Many of these guys love their wives and would never dream of leaving them, but simply crave different experiences, often with younger girls because they and their wives have aged. It is what it is.

    But in this instance, I'm not so sure that the OP is capable of continuing to see this girl. He's already gotten too emotional over her and I doubt there is any way to un-ring the bell. Some guys just have more trouble separating sex from emotions than others and maybe he is just one of those dudes who cannot easily do so. Idk, but I hope he doesn't break up his family if there is any way that he can avoid it.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Sometimes its best for the children to get a divorce. Why expose your children to a loveless toxic marriage? Which could effect their future relationships. Breaking up your family is hard, but people adapt. Also therapy for your kids during this transition is important.

    Divorce is an easy way to become selfish without putting children first. Even after divorce. Co-parenting is important.





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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by SimoneGray View Post
    I'm going to play Devil's Advocate for a second here and say that it is totally possible to find love with a sex worker, since they are people too and it is 100% possible that you could meet someone who is compatible with you and enhances your life who just happens to be a sex worker. Sex work is just a job. Sometimes as the sex worker you don't expect to connect with your clients as much as you do and sometimes the clients also don't expect to wake up one day and find themselves thinking about you in more than just a provision capacity. So it is possible since we're all just people at the end of the day.
    Absolutely. I agree! It's not always a hustle. How can you tell if it's not a hustle? Well for starters, , she won't ask you for money and she won't invite you into the club to see her. She'll leave it in your court. Basically, she won't treat you like a customer.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    3 letters dude...
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    I'm going through something sort of similar, but with a dancer, not an escort, and it's really a minor case. Plus, I like to think I'm keeping my head straight. Also, I'm not married. Ok, so maybe not as similar as I thought.

    But mostly I'm commenting on LoveyDovey's remarks about it not always being a hustle. I totally agree. Yes, you're probably safe not assuming that a stripper means every little thing she says, and that not every stripper is as in to you as it seems. But these are normal girls, in a workplace, and it is totally possible to begin to have some feelings for colleagues or customers in places of employment. They might not be the type of feelings that would ever lead to dating (but they could). It could just be a general care or affection.

    I have a favorite stripper. I spend 80% of my time/cash in the club with her. The 20% represents my need for variety, and, don't call me an a-hole, but also it simply keeps her on her toes as my experience has shown that when a dancer knows she has you wrapped around her finger, you can start getting less and less for the same amount of money.

    My point: I've determined that a stripper wanting your money, and her caring about you, don't have to be mutually exclusive. I've never tried to get her to give dances/VIP for free, and haven't tried to get her to 'hang out' outside the club with no compensation. She wants my money. That's the arrangement. Still, she does things and offers things that let me know she cares. Don't think sexual, I'm not talking about that at all, but yes, our dances/VIP are much, much more intimate than back on our first visit. No actual sex acts involved. I don't look for that from a strip club.

    I'd recommend to the OP my own personal approach. Every trip is new and exciting. I don't have an agenda, and have no expectations. I go to have a good time, wherever that leads. I allow myself to open up and care for this girl, but I'm not falling in love.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    She stopped charging you and you're having unprotected sex? She's after bigger game. Off the top of my head, maybe put an Incall in your name, so you're in trouble if she gets busted. Have some fictitious emergency she'll pay back"every cent of?" Google downing a duck. Different settings, but same idea. Given how many people have herpes and hpv, I wouldn't even have unprotected sex with a fucking priest. Get tested. Good luck.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Oh, or she's a psychopath with a permanent STD and her"payment" is exposing people"trusting" enough to it. Sex workers are good actresses that deserve Oscars. Never forget that. The real victim in this tale is your wife. Many states now count exposing people to an STD you know you have as battery. A positive test is proof of that and the more serious ones are tracked by the health department.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Oh, or she's a psychopath with a permanent STD and her"payment" is exposing people"trusting" enough to it. Sex workers are good actresses that deserve Oscars. Never forget that. The real victim in this tale is your wife. Many states now count exposing people to an STD you know you have as battery. A positive test is proof of that and the more serious ones are tracked by the health department.
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    Quote Originally Posted by xStacey View Post
    Close contact, for an hour, for $40? And I guess I'll have to make conversation with them too?

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Hey, hey now. Let's not "bro" this up by assuming that it's always about the money and she's a dirty scank trying to infect him with venereal diseases. Not saying it's not possible but that smacks of slut shaming. It's totally possible that she has feelers. Feelers happen.

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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Every time I step in an escort thread I get my ass handed to me, but it's been over two weeks and I'm a resilient fellow, so here goes: my immediate read is that OP is somewhat crafting this relationship in his head.

    As far as I know, Escorts experience justifiable anxiety around a first meeting - will the client pay, will he be safe, will he be LE, will he be hideous or unhygienic? That anxiety seems to lessen bit by bit after the first few sessions. A regular is safe, pliable, and perhaps more dependable. Escorts who have enough of them can "retire" from new getting clients, apparently a desirable thing. As Elektra says, she can make her clients come back again and again, by being a fantasy. Escorts are very good at reading what your fantasies are.

    OPs fantasy seems to be that an escort, against all the odds, really loves him, probably because he's so great, she just can't help it, and changes it all for him. Look! She bare backs and does it for free! I'm special, he seems to say.

    She made you feel special, get it? She'll tell another guy he has a huge dong, she'll tell another guy he has the body of a football player instead of that he's a fat-ass. She'll tell another guy it really is his wife that is the problem, etc. she becomes what you want her to be.

    I can almost guarantee you there is a post on saafe right now "client has fallen in love with me what do I do?". Ease up, OP, is my advice. Enjoy her work, see her when you want, enjoy the danger and chaos and excitement, but don't go too far, and see it for what it is. Even if it does turn into a relationship down the road it will fail if you see her as a dream girl rather than a real person.
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by SweetJulia2 View Post
    She's after bigger game.... Google downing a duck. Different settings, but same idea.
    Not related to the OP -- and a mild thread-jack -- but thanks for this, Julia. I did Google this the other day. I saw and recognized some of the phrases and variations of phrases that some dancers have used on me in the past year.

    Up until now, I thought some of it was just random, non sequitur, or out of place for a dancer to say or ask. I KNEW the phrases were manipulation tactics and I didn't fall for them I just disregarded it at the time. But what I didn't know was tactics fell under a single large umbrella. Thanks for that. I had feeling some of it belonged to a system someplace.

    It's good to be aware of some of the elaborate head games and hustles being played out there. Thank you!



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  44. #49
    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kitcatt View Post
    Hey, hey now. Let's not "bro" this up by assuming that it's always about the money and she's a dirty scank trying to infect him with venereal diseases. Not saying it's not possible but that smacks of slut shaming. It's totally possible that she has feelers. Feelers happen.
    I don't think it's about slut shaming (maybe she was being dramatic to prove a point that they're both doing something stupid) but f*cking raw with no tests to prove no one has contagious diseases is not safe at all.

    Plus there are sickos out there infecting innocent people as some misdirected revenge, some diseases have no symptoms, etc. so you can never take a persons word that they're not carrying a contagious std. People are too trusting with their bodies.

    Hiv, herpes, hpv, etc. is no joke - these are permanent and have no cure at current moment. Any health lesson will tell you the more people you have sex with unprotected the more you (and the people you sleep with) are at risk.

    Now catching/living with an std is not the end of the world but why expose yourself/spread something unnecessarily?

    I wish we had no diseases or at least cures for everything but until then Stay safe and protect your privates.

    ***besides I think OP bounced several posts ago and this could be another troll thread anyways.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 08-17-2016 at 07:39 AM.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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  46. #50
    God/dess DonaDiabla's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I'm in love with an escort!

    Yes, I have to agree with you, Miss.a.p1600. Frankly, I believe this was just the OP was a captain save-a-hoe who could not separate fantasy from reality. Something just sounds weird about how was he talking. He went into graphic detail about their sexual adventures yet she seem to be pretty non-emotional about their relationship. Plus, I found it strange for him to announce that he want her to leave the business after being her client for a short time. Secondly, he talked like a captain save-a-hoe trying to save a chick who did not want to be save.

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    I don't think it's about slut shaming (maybe she was being dramatic to prove a point that they're both doing something stupid) but f*cking raw with no tests to prove no one has contagious diseases is not safe at all.

    Plus there are sickos out there infecting innocent people as some misdirected revenge, some diseases have no symptoms, etc. so you can never take a persons word that they're not carrying a contagious std. People are too trusting with their bodies.

    Hiv, herpes, hpv, etc. is no joke - these are permanent and have no cure at current moment. Any health lesson will tell you the more people you have sex with unprotected the more you (and the people you sleep with) are at risk.

    Now catching/living with an std is not the end of the world but why expose yourself/spread something unnecessarily?

    I wish we had no diseases or at least cures for everything but until then Stay safe and protect your privates.

    ***besides I think OP bounced several posts ago and this could be another troll thread anyways.

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