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Thread: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

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    Default How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Okay, so when he had a job, I would always cam in private. He never knew about it since I would get on cam when he was at work. I also have a part-time texting job that I do so he thought that was where all my money was coming from.

    He got fired from his job for laziness. He will not look for a new one. He recently told me that he does not plan on looking for another job because he does not want to deal with bosses, etc and that he is going to try to sell on Amazon. That is great. But it has been three months now since he has been out of work and all he is doing is looking for a few rare books here and there to sell. He has not even listed any to sell. He said he is trying to collect a bunch of them first.

    I feel like he is just saying things to make me think that he is trying to get things started but really, he just wants to be lazy and play video games all day while I support his ass. Literally, all he does all day long is sit on his ass and play video games, while I pay all the bills, pay for his gym membership, put gas in his car, and buy all his food. He doesn't even clean up after himself, so I am doing 100% of the cleaning all the time.

    When he had a job, I only had to pay my half of the rent and take care of buying all my own food, etc, so I only needed to text for six hours a day. But now that I pay for everything for both of us, I have to text nine hours a day. I can handle texting for six hours out of the day, but texting for nine hours out of the day gets very exhausting. The managers of the texting company literally sit on Skype while we are working and we literally cannot go two mins at a time without texting before they are messaging us asking us why we have gone inactive.

    We have to ask to use the bathroom or get up for anything, and even then, we still get shit if messages go unanswered for more than a couple minutes at a time. So it is nonstop typing for 6-9 hours in a row. I would like to keep the texting job for six hours out of the day, just because that is guaranteed income, but would like to cam for the other three hours out of the day.

    I asked him what he thought about me camming and he told me not to do it, that he does not want everyone to see what I look like naked, that I would be a whore for doing it, etc. But if I am the one supporting both of us, who is he to tell me what I can and cannot do? He would be homeless if if weren't for me supporting him. I just need a good argument that is not bitchy. He knows I hate texting all day long. He does not care though because he gets to sit and play video games all day long while a woman supports him. The life he has always wanted. He is living the dream.

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    God/dess Mare's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Ditch lazy boyfriend. Make $$ for yourself. Find $$$$ boyfriend. No lazy penis is worth it.


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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Sorry (not sorry) - if he expects you to provide for him, then he has to accept whatever job you are willing to do to get that money coming in.

    But if I were you, I would tell him he has to either get a job or get out/you move out. "He does not care though because he gets to sit and play video games all day long while a woman supports him. The life he has always wanted. He is living the dream." Yep. Nope. Never in a million years would I support a broke lazy man ever again (yes, I have done it) because they are NEVER grateful/thankful, they have stroppy tantrums when you can't/won't provide, and they become more and more entitled with every paycheck.


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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    tell him if he wants to dictate how you get to work he needs to earn his own keep,
    sounds like an idiot tbh hun :/

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    Ditch lazy boyfriend. Make $$ for yourself. Find $$$$ boyfriend. No lazy penis is worth it.
    But he has nowhere to go.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    But he has nowhere to go.
    How is that your problem? You aren't his mother.

    EDITED TO ADD - this is why he needs a job, so he can support himself. No job, no rent paid, reality.


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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Im sorry youre going through that but if he has nowhere to go that should give him more motivation to get a job and help you out in order to have a place to stay. I hope it works out for you and things get easier but without him helping it is putting more of a strain on you. You have to put yourself first youre doing your part but he isnt as of right now. best of luck with it, if i were you id tell him to help out and how much stress this is putting on you and your relationship it isnt fair to you.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Your not going to find much support on how to "convince" your bf to do anything here with a bunch of self sufficient, powerful women. We dont bow to men! We make them bow, lick our boots and begg for more but only if they PAID US in advance


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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    But he has nowhere to go.
    You aren't his mother. It's his own responsibility to provide for himself. You've given him three months, and he's not making a sincere effort to work and he's not even trying to do housework. If you want to coddle him and treat him like a child, that's your choice, but you have to live with results of him dragging you down if you do that.


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    Senior Member evaeva's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    I'm sorry but ditch him. Even if you did eventually 'convince' him to let you cam it would just cause tension because he is obviously not okay with it. If you are in a relationship and want to cam, you need to have a partner who supports you 100%, who is not going to behave like a petty and jealous child about it and who understands it is a real fucking job.
    He does not sound worth all the money and energy you are spending on him. I know you are worried he has no place to go, but you gave him ample time to get back on his feet by supporting him after he quit his job and he didn't take advantage of it so now he has no place to go. That is not your fault nor should you feel obligated to him. He is not worth the toll this will take on your mental health, believe me.
    Time is money. Money is power. Power is pizza. Pizza is knowledge. Let's go.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    So he doesn't want you to be a "whore" but it's okay for him to pimp you out and supporting his inadequate ass?

    Why would he start doing things differently when you're enabling his bad behaviors? I am always appalled and saddened by what a lot of women would put up with from good for nothing "men". If being in a relationship is costing you your dignity, self-respect and value-get rid of him!

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    I asked him what he thought about me camming and he told me not to do it, that he does not want everyone to see what I look like naked, that I would be a whore for doing it, etc. But if I am the one supporting both of us, who is he to tell me what I can and cannot do? He would be homeless if if weren't for me supporting him. I just need a good argument that is not bitchy. He knows I hate texting all day long. He does not care though because he gets to sit and play video games all day long while a woman supports him. The life he has always wanted. He is living the dream.
    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    I can see you being 90 and flipping your long hair, still teasing the boys.




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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    I stopped reading at "he got fired from his job for laziness" I don't understand this language? Mind blown...lazy boyfriend needs convincing? Can't compute must recharge brain.


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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by DeepThoughts View Post
    Your not going to find much support on how to "convince" your bf to do anything here with a bunch of self sufficient, powerful women. We dont bow to men! We make them bow, lick our boots and begg for more but only if they PAID US in advance
    Yes! The first step towards world domination is joining StripperWeb!

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by PhatGirlDynomite!!! View Post
    I stopped reading at "he got fired from his job for laziness" I don't understand this language? Mind blown...lazy boyfriend needs convincing? Can't compute must recharge brain.
    OMG gir! I was gonna write something just a little bit meaner but you said it beautifully! Fired for laziness!! So rich!

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    But he has nowhere to go.
    YES HE DOES. Users always have a plan b. ALWAYS. This part I'm not saying to be hurtful, but do keep in mind that for all you know you might be plan b. Just because he sits around the house all day doesn't mean he can't conjure up a scheme. If you changed the locks I bet he would find a place to go. He's already thought about it but since you let him stay he hasn't enacted that plan yet.

    Im sorry I'm gonna back away from this thread now. I fear I've said too much

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    Featured Member Violethollywood's Avatar
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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    oh honey. he's either gonna shape up or shape out . last year, I lost my 9-5 job bc of pregnancy (i know i was pissed ) I was the only one working . my bf wasn't . And he didn't get a job til i was almost due . It does put a lot of strain on you when you're the only one working in a relationship .

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Oh geez.
    Tell him good luck selling on amazon even if he were trying. I sold full time on amazon for 2 years and it is harder work than dealing with a regular job. You dont just list a few books. You need to have constant sources of inventory, it is hard work. It's even harder work when you first start out, once you find some sources of products it becomes easier but at first it is not a walk in the park.


    I think its fair he doesn't want you to cam, he didn't come into the relationship dating a camgirl. You would have the same right if he were to say join the military or become a police officer or whatever job you would be uncomfortable with (btw I totally respect military/police officers just using it as example bc it is dangerous and some women might not be okay with their partner risking their life), that wouldn't be the same conditions you entered into the relationship with.

    You both have the right not to want each other to do any job an voice your concerns/objections but you both also have the right to end the relationship at any point, for any reason.

    I have been in the position you are in, lazy boyfriend, doesn't want to work the only difference is he was more than okay with me camming because it paid the bills. Things worked out for us, he went through his bout of depression, has a great paying job and "made it up" by paying all the bills for awhile and still pays for more than I do. While things are great now and knowing how they worked out they got very bad for some time, given the chance to go back in the past if I would move out on my own while helping him work through his issues, all we worked through was so difficult and we would have been better figuring things out and growing on our own.
    Most of the time it will not end up like this, the guy will not get a job he will stay, stay, stay until the woman reaches her boiling point. The lazy guy will keep being lazy for as long as possible and the girl will keep supporting him.

    I thought the "oh he doesn't have anywhere to go" if I left and thats why I stayed. I'm at a point now where I realize we are both adults. If things went back to the way the were I would leave in a heart beat with the ability to view it the way I do now, a lot of people told me to leave, I didnt listen. Guess I'm the kind of person that need to live through something to learn the lesson.
    You are not responsible for supporting another adult, another adult is not responsible for supporting you. If you were married my opinion would change but you are not married, he doesn't get husband privileges.

    I hope everything works out for you either way.
    I don't think you can convince him to "let" you cam but I don't really think thats the issue here. The issue seems to be money. You want to cam to make up the gap from him not earning money. Would you want to cam if he was bring his half of the bills to the table? Would you feel like you need to? Those are questions only you can answer and if the answer is yes, I think its a dealbreaker even if he gets his stuff together.

    PS If you want to stay and try to get him to be a participating partner encourage him to see a doctor, he may be lazy but he may also be dealing with depression.
    Quote Originally Posted by JackAlexander View Post
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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    I have to add to this. IvaSype , listen to these ladies not because they are camgirls but because they are women. This is how women think. I am assuming (maybe Im wrong) that you might be in your 20's? This is a trait with young women( I think): thinking they need to care or provide for boyfriend. Oh no. No. No. No. Like Marina said above do not enable laziness. Men can always work if they want to. Period. If there is a will, there is a way.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by IvaSkye View Post
    But he has nowhere to go.
    Put yourself in that position. It's you. You hve no place to go. What would you do? You'd:

    A.) work

    B.) Be homeless/stay in a homeless shelter

    C.) stay with a friend- or make a friend you can stay with

    D.) suck dick , give handjobs, take it up the ass

    If there's more that you can come up with well, Let's face it. He has options. Don't let him freeloading be one of his options.


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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Oh. And he's not depressed if he's well enough to game all day. Don't even go there. If he can function he can work. He's pimping you. Even though he says right now he doesn't want you to cam. Guess what. He's going to change his mind. Especially when you cut into his precious gaming time. I know the type. Fuck that.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    That you were already hiding your camming from him speaks volumes.
    rebeccateal.com

    Breast cancer? I kicked its butt...back on cam and loving it!







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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by Missbeth View Post
    Oh geez.
    Tell him good luck selling on amazon even if he were trying. I sold full time on amazon for 2 years and it is harder work than dealing with a regular job. You dont just list a few books. You need to have constant sources of inventory, it is hard work. It's even harder work when you first start out, once you find some sources of products it becomes easier but at first it is not a walk in the park.
    I told him the say thing about Amazon. But he was talking like it was going to be easy. Saying that it wouldn't even feel like a job, that he would just have to go look for things to sell every once in a while.

    He is too immature to understand that there is so much more to it than that. But then again, he might just be talking bull crap, trying to get me to think he is actually looking for work when he's not.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Quote Originally Posted by RebeccaT View Post
    That you were already hiding your camming from him speaks volumes.
    I know, but I am very anti-social in real life. I thought that camming would somehow help me with my anxiety in the real world. That is the whole reason why I started. That and for extra $$ when I needed it.

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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Abuse isn't necessarily physical or even verbal, economic abuse is every bit as damaging. His parasitic behavior can do a lot of damage in the long run that you'll have a hard time recovering from.

    "Daily pay ALL the things!"
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    Default Re: How do I convince my boyfriend to let me cam?

    Thank you, Sweetie. I have been with him for almost six years now though, so I feel very attached. I do not want him to be out on the streets. I know I should do it sooner rather than later, but if a whole six months go by and he still hasn't looked for any work, I am going to threaten to leave. Though I have threatened this already and he just does not believe me or whatever. :/

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