Hey everyone, I have been having a really crazy few months.
I had sex with one guy un protected on June 25th, then I had unprotected anal sex with my now ex boyfriend last on August 21st, but gave him a blowjob and I swallowed on August 27th.
Well, the night of August 27th after he went to bed I snooped through his facebook and found this message to some girl he was talking to. He was telling her he likes getting "f*cked" by black and dominican men with no condom and all this other crazy shit about escorting. He also told her I was a cam girl.
Well needless to say I woke him up and had a mental breakdown, he assured me he was just "high" on coke that night he sent the messages and that he says crazy things to people when he's high and upset about something. Well what really freaked me out was a picture of his butt in women's underwear that he sent her too.
We went to planned parenthood the next morning and got 4th generation rapid HIV tests, and we both came out negative.
I have been in such a tail spin ever since, I can never seem to relax and I just worry all night and all day that I have HIV now.
I live on my own and my only income is camming, and camming now triggers my anxiety. I find I start having anxiety and panic attacks in the middle of shows when I have to talk about sex, eating cum, having unprotected sex, ETC with my customers.
I am planning on getting another test or 2 obviously, but I am terrified all the time.
Has anyone else gone through this or something similar or just an HIV scare in general ? I feel so alone and have noone else to talk to about this.
Also I want to add I broke up with my ex that night, but we still talk frequently and he always assures me that I have nothing to worry about and that it was just something he made up, and he would go for more tests with me in the future to make me feel better. So I have come to beleive him or at least WANT to while I am in this NIGHTMARE window period. I am 24 and I have only had sex with 3 men in my whole life, 2 mentioned here and the first was my ex boyfriend of 4 years so I do not do this type of stuff, I just had a bad few months and I acted out and am now REGRETTING it horribly.



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