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Thread: Why do sex workers date losers?

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    Default Why do sex workers date losers?

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    Last edited by fbsmgirl; 10-15-2016 at 08:56 AM.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    It's common among sex workers to have low self esteem issues. They only go for the type of love they think they deserve
    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain."

    "Everyone wants happiness. Nobody wants pain. But you can't have a rainbow without a little rain.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    i guess a better question would be what would you define as a "loser" that a sex worker is with ? Different people have different definitions of said losers .

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    i guess to me, a woman staying with a cheater is selling herself short. A woman should never stay with a man that cheats. I made that mistake years ago and i wont do it again. My ex husband cheated on me several times and still i stayed with him for years. I'd kill to have my early 20's back without being married to him .

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Violethollywood View Post
    i guess a better question would be what would you define as a "loser" that a sex worker is with ? Different people have different definitions of said losers .
    I was an escort so I've dated a lot of men that cheated on their wives. I didn't care - and still don't. It was strictly business.
    My definition of "loser" is in my OP. I didn't understand why these gorgeous women settled for broke and sometimes abusive men.
    I know a lot of SWers that enable these behaviors and fund bad habits while they themselves are struggling to make ends meets.
    It's just ridiculous.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    I've been in the adult industry for 8 years now and have met a lot of women - escorts, strippers, cam girls, fetish workers...etc. These women come from all walks of life and are some of the most intelligent, most beautiful women I've ever met but for some reason they tend to date losers. A lady I once considered a good friend accused me of being "judgmental" when I suggested her boyfriend get a job yet I loaned her money TWICE to cover bills because he refused to help out around the house. I rarely meet sex workers in a healthy relationship. Even the sugarbanbies I've met are usually chasing after some loser in their real life. I know everyone's not like this because I'm not but can someone explain this phenomenon to me? I've always just chalked it up to stupidity, low self esteem or a lack of self respect but maybe there's something else I'm missing?
    It probably is just situational awareness.

    Most camgirls I know have very healthy relationships and a substantial part of that percentage even are married to supportive men who help them with their business.

    Of course, 99% of camgirls I know, I know off of Stripperweb and even then it is only a subset of the camgirls who post here so that is probably the reason my antidote evidence is skewed in a different direction than yours.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Ha. Not all of us do.
    I definitely don't .

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    I suppose Web developer making under 50k annually definitely qualifies as a loser. Thankfully my former Escort Girlfriend chooses to date me cuz, shes Sexy as F**K ;-)

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by carmen_b View Post
    Ha. Not all of us do.
    I definitely don't .
    Made that point in my OP...

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    I know everyone's not like this because I'm not ....
    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    It probably is just situational awareness.

    Most camgirls I know have very healthy relationships and a substantial part of that percentage even are married to supportive men who help them with their business.

    Of course, 99% of camgirls I know, I know off of Stripperweb and even then it is only a subset of the camgirls who post here so that is probably the reason my antidote evidence is skewed in a different direction than yours.
    Just check out the life support section of this site.
    I was actually inspired to start this thread after reading several posts there.

    --

    Another poster said different people have different definitions of loser -- and I agree. Only because most women that date losers are in denial.
    If you've been supporting a man for three years and you're unhappy, you're dating a loser/parasite.
    If you've been seeing a guy that doesn't have a car and lives with his mom, he's a lazy loser.
    If he smells like ass every time you see him and refuses to shower after you've begged him over and over again to take a damn bath, he's a stinky loser
    If he takes your money after each shift and only gives you money to get your nails and hair done, he's a pimp/loser
    If you're unhappy in your relationship because he isn't holding up his end, it's probably because he's a loser.
    A loser is a loser. It's a universal term. There may be different levels of losery but um yeah.
    Last edited by fbsmgirl; 10-04-2016 at 12:17 PM.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Loneliness. Also nowadays regular career women end up with a Mr. Mom babysitter who loves weed & X Box. Losers are everywhere...

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    It does seem that way sometimes, but then I look around and see - it's not just sex workers. There are a lot of women settling for less than they could get, which is sad.

    Maybe it's just more surprising to see with a sex worker because usually they have more to offer so the contrast is obvious.


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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    I agree that it's most women (or a LOT). All my vanilla friends have dated some real gems.
    However a lot of sex workers don't think they will find somebody accepting of their job so they settle.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Yeah not just sex workers. At all.

    Case in point: Last month I was counseling my extremely religious friend (so total opposite end) to leave her husband. He goes weeks without working, refuses to clean the house (including his own shit off toilet seats, EW), stays up all night yelling at video games so she can't sleep, and all their money is in a joint account so he is often spending hers. She deserves WAY better. But she rationalizes it in so many ways and stays with him.

    I personally don't get it. The one time my SO was unemployed and doing the lazy stoner thing, I straight up told him "you look like a stereotypical deadbeat stripper boyfriend. Not attractive. That's why you're not getting laid." He got a job within 3 days.

    I hear these girls at work talking about their 'man' who is really their pimp and I really can't feel sorry for them. It's harsh but I view them as just plain fucking stupid. I'm sure this will ruffle feathers but exactly what kind of serious indoctrination makes a girl believe she should be in that scenario? Doesn't she look at other normal relationships and think "Hm that looks better... why am I being screwed?"
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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Selina M View Post

    I personally don't get it. The one time my SO was unemployed and doing the lazy stoner thing, I straight up told him "you look like a stereotypical deadbeat stripper boyfriend. Not attractive. That's why you're not getting laid." He got a job within 3 days.
    I love it LOL!
    Quote Originally Posted by laurielegs View Post

    Maybe it's just more surprising to see with a sex worker because usually they have more to offer so the contrast is obvious.
    My point EXACTLY!
    Last edited by fbsmgirl; 10-04-2016 at 03:04 PM.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Until 35 or so most men are just undatable cum dispensers, bad odds basically.
    "Well done. Here are the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: 'A horrible person.' We weren't even testing for that."


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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Until 35 or so most men are just undatable cum dispensers, bad odds basically.
    So true. And a handful of them stay that way well into middle and old age. Sad.

    anyhow I noticed the same thing. Dancers will target the wealthiest most successful customers in the club but have these broke ass bums at home like wtf?!? I think some people would rather support losers in a relationship than be single. Working in adult entertainment is hard and being single even harder. But it beats shacking up with losers.

    I also think dating/having committed relationships is harder for women in the adult industry (due to the stigma and men's ego/insecurity) than the average woman. A woman in this field who dates a loser may do so because he is accepting of her work/taking on the stigma so to give back she accepts some major flaw about him.
    Last edited by miss.a.p1600; 10-04-2016 at 03:53 PM.
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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Loneliness. Also nowadays regular career women end up with a Mr. Mom babysitter who loves weed & X Box. Losers are everywhere...

    I'd have to agree .

    Most would consider my bf to be a loser. He's 31 . Loves xbox. Can't really hold down a job for a long period of time and by long period i mean a year or more. By those factors alone most would consider him a loser. i've only been with him for a year and a half . But he is a really good dad. And he doesn't physically abuse me, He's very intelligent . I guess the reason i stay with him is bc i can't find someone better. not only that he's got a BIG DICK. im shallow, judge me but he's one out of 3 people ive been with that have been decent sized and can get me off . He's very sexy, very attractive.

    Sure i could find a wealthy guy but 9/10 times they're OLD and have a small dick and are just not attractive at all. OR they're TOO nice. and yes there's such a thing. I hate overly nice guys it turns me off bad. I've been with a variety of men and I hate most of them . What turned me on about this one was the fact that see i intimidate most men and i'm personally never intimidated by men but I felt a sense of idk like the alpha in me recognized the alpha in him sort of thing and it was refreshing .

    Not trying to thread jack just giving a different view point .

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    I agree that it's most women (or a LOT). All my vanilla friends have dated some real gems.
    However a lot of sex workers don't think they will find somebody accepting of their job so they settle.
    in my experience most men aren't accepting of it. And if they "accept" it then they expect something like for example, my ex husband Expected me to fuck him after camming for 8 hours straight b/c all these guys on the internet get to see my vag and see me get off when in reality i never got off . It was a fucked up relationship. Dude threw a coffee table at me for refusing to fuck him

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trem View Post
    Until 35 or so most men are just undatable cum dispensers, bad odds basically.
    You got a point, Trem. I haven't dated a guy my age since high school as I've found that I am unable to relate to them. My SD/BF is in his 60s, well-off, in fantastic shape, handsome and treats me like a princess. He's also my best friend (I've known him for six years). If he lost all his money today, I would still want him in my life because he's one hell of a guy. A man that has absolutely nothing to show for himself but his looks and weed breath is my worst nightmare.

    Quote Originally Posted by Violethollywood View Post
    I'd have to agree .

    Most would consider my bf to be a loser. He's 31 . Loves xbox. Can't really hold down a job for a long period of time and by long period i mean a year or more. By those factors alone most would consider him a loser. i've only been with him for a year and a half . But he is a really good dad. And he doesn't physically abuse me, He's very intelligent . I guess the reason i stay with him is bc i can't find someone better. not only that he's got a BIG DICK. im shallow, judge me but he's one out of 3 people ive been with that have been decent sized and can get me off . He's very sexy, very attractive.

    Sure i could find a wealthy guy but 9/10 times they're OLD and have a small dick and are just not attractive at all. OR they're TOO nice. and yes there's such a thing. I hate overly nice guys it turns me off bad. I've been with a variety of men and I hate most of them . What turned me on about this one was the fact that see i intimidate most men and i'm personally never intimidated by men but I felt a sense of idk like the alpha in me recognized the alpha in him sort of thing and it was refreshing .

    Not trying to thread jack just giving a different view point .
    The alpha males I know would put a bullet in their heads before they sat around did nothing while their girl worked and brought home the bacon.
    For me, foreplay begins in the mind. A big beautiful dick does absolutely nothing for me when it's attached to an unproductive member of society.
    Last edited by fbsmgirl; 10-04-2016 at 05:44 PM.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by justanothercamgirl View Post
    It probably is just situational awareness.

    Most camgirls I know have very healthy relationships and a substantial part of that percentage even are married to supportive men who help them with their business.

    Of course, 99% of camgirls I know, I know off of Stripperweb and even then it is only a subset of the camgirls who post here so that is probably the reason my antidote evidence is skewed in a different direction than yours.
    OR the OP's vision is skewed and yours is more valid. Anytime you get a group of young inexperienced women together some will have a knowledge of healthy relationships and others won't. Frankly the thread sounds like a judgemental stereotype since the OP can't assume the women he/she knows represent the majority. Maybe he/she needs to feel needed and befriends needy chicks not self confident ones.
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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    There are just a lot of losers out there and lots of women think: I'd rather be with a loser than alone. I look at my vanilla friends and they have short relationships too: alcoholic, abusive, can't hold down a job, smokes too much weed. So like I say: there are just a lot of losers out there regardless.

    And for me, I have to be attracted to someone, I just do. I've never been short of offers from financially stable mature men but most of them simply aren't physically attractive, they're more the punter type. I don't strip anymore but I don't think I'll ever shake the mentality of "if you want me to pretend to be attracted to you then pay me and fuck off" - I just couldn't have a real life relationship with someone just because they have a job, house car and their life is sorted. I need to have my heart skip a beat when I see them too. Though frankly it seems that I may as well ask for a champagne breathing dragon.

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by spartaca View Post
    There are just a lot of losers out there and lots of women think: I'd rather be with a loser than alone. I look at my vanilla friends and they have short relationships too: alcoholic, abusive, can't hold down a job, smokes too much weed. So like I say: there are just a lot of losers out there regardless.

    And for me, I have to be attracted to someone, I just do. I've never been short of offers from financially stable mature men but most of them simply aren't physically attractive, they're more the punter type. I don't strip anymore but I don't think I'll ever shake the mentality of "if you want me to pretend to be attracted to you then pay me and fuck off" - I just couldn't have a real life relationship with someone just because they have a job, house car and their life is sorted. I need to have my heart skip a beat when I see them too. Though frankly it seems that I may as well ask for a champagne breathing dragon.


    SEE. my point exactly. i'm the same way. I need to be attracted to someone. Most guys that are well off are ugly and have a small dick and i want none of that . physical and mental attraction is a must

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    wow do I do agree. I have fucked all lot of guys, I have sucked a lot of Japanese cock. If you knew my entire life, you would shoot me. But and I mean really mean it, I don't date losers. I date nice guys who treat me well and have the intelligence to understand why I do what I do. The whole idea is to date guys who are intelligent, they are winners. And don't tell me that everyone has their own idea of intelligence. By intelligence I mean educated. College-educated with good jobs

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mishi View Post
    wow do I do agree. I have fucked all lot of guys, I have sucked a lot of Japanese cock. If you knew my entire life, you would shoot me. But and I mean really mean it, I don't date losers. I date nice guys who treat me well and have the intelligence to understand why I do what I do. The whole idea is to date guys who are intelligent, they are winners. And don't tell me that everyone has their own idea of intelligence. By intelligence I mean educated. College-educated with good jobs
    Soo.... rich? Because you can still be "educated" and not have gone to college. You can also be educated and have a good job. College in my opinion means nothing. I mean hello strippers and camgirls here! not saying that some of us haven't gone to college or aren't currently in college but many of us make more money than our friends who went to college/are in college . I know plenty of guys that make 6 figures a year and NEVER went to college and they're smart as hell. Just saying . Surely you can agree with that .

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    Default Re: Why do sex workers date losers?

    My ex is very smart, go getter, had a great job at the time and was very driven to make into the 7 digits. He's probably there now. No doubt.

    He did coke behind my back. Then he claimed he did meth "by mistake". Drugs are a huge deal breaker. To me, that made him a loser. Then I found out he cheated, and I left for good.

    Just watch out for manipulators. I was young and didn't know better. This was before dancing and I've been single ever since(9 years). You live and learn....

    P.S. Quality men are a tough find.

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