Is this a New York thing?
Ive danced 7 years, mostly in the south. In that 7 years I've dealt with customers who jizzed on themselves exactly 2 times. Both were extremely embarrassed and apologetic, tipped well, and ran off to go get cleaned up.
since being in NY (maybe 4 months now), I've dealt with more dudes spraying their baby-gravy down their own thighs than ever. I've lost count. Last week alone there were 5. FIVE OF THEM.
In in my club, during the day we do 15 minute rooms, for some reason sweatpants-boner guys love me/these teeny blocks of time. Fine. Whatever. But they blow their loads after 1-2 songs, shove some cocktail napkins down the front of their jeans, then walk out. I've gotten good at spotting O-faces, and leap out of the way most of the time but like REALLY? 1-2 songs?
I get that maybe the more "grindy" southern style lapdance is contributing, but after the first 2 dudes that did it once I moved here, I switched it up to move all around the room/couch/customer, with minimal crotch contact. AND IT STILL HAPPENS. Is premature ejaculation in the water? Is my club spiking cocktails? Since going blonde did I just become some sort of cum-magnet?
I normally would just bathe in bleach and get on with my life, but these 15 minute rooms are making me look like a Hoover. One host always side-eyes me when the dudes come stumbling out, less than 5 minutes after starting the time. I want to scream at them IM NOT SUCKING DICK I PROMISE ITS JUST THESE PENISES HAVE NO CHILL. The last 15 minutes I did, I made the guy stay in the room till the host came to let us know our time was up. It was SO FRUSTRATING.
I talk to my girls in the dressing room and they don't seem to have the same cummy...er...crummy problem I do.
While I can't singlehandedly solve men's "lasting" problem, surely there is something I can do outside of holding the guy hostage in the room for the remaining 14 minutes? do I just refuse to do 15 minute rooms anymore? Do I start wearing t-backs with spikes on the crotch? Do I start leaving the curtains part-way open so management can see I'm a clean dancer? I am totally at a loss here.
ps- while this post is sprinkled with puns, it is actually a problem that is starting to concern me. I used to laugh it off but now I'm...annoyed. What do?!



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I have no constructive feedback cos I r teh supernewb at grindy-grind, but holy mother of fuck did your post make me laff. *dead*

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