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Thread: Keeping people at arms length...?

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    Default Keeping people at arms length...?

    I'm a bit anti social anyway i'll not lie but no one at all knows what I do and I find it very stressful to think of people just turning up at the house for coffee or anything so I tend to keep them all at a distance.

    My parents are coming to stay next weekend and i'm dreading it becasue of all the taking down of lighting rigs and hiding of outfits not to mention lost cash computers etc. Last time my dad wanted to use my laptop I nearly died its always broken when they come!

    How do you keep people out of your business? I can't think of a legitimate reason for all the lights and everything upstairs. Everyone thinks that i'm a virtual assistant and typist but not sure where the lights and all the outfits could ever come in and I don't put it all away every day its too much hassle. My intensely nosy neighbour is bad enough but there is only one bathroom in this house so if anyone wants to use it they have to go upstairs next to my cam room so I just keep them all out!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I've been keeping a distance from friends and family, too, because I cam and dance. I feel ya, it sucks.

    You probably need to lock your cam room or put stuff away/set it up to be less conspicuous. If you need reasons to explain the lighting equipment, you could say you're selling stuff on etsy or ebay and want professional quality photos. Say you got a good deal on the equipment and couldn't turn it down.

    In my experience after doing/hiding adult work for several years, it's better to have some people around that you are close with, even if there are some white lies along the way.

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Good idea with the lights I was struggling to come up with anything if I was caught! I'm not sure that my parents would clock it but people I know would I think there are a few questions already as to how I seem to do so well although I try not to make much of it just people notice new car etc..

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I have a big wooden chest that I keep in the bedroom with a padlock. Any time someone is coming over, I toss all of my toys/outfits/webcam in there and lock it up with a padlock. If anyone asks why I have a locked chest, I say I keep my sentimental items in there or important documents (passport, tax documents, etc.) and I enjoy the way it looks as a piece of furniture.

    For your computer, password protect your account! I have 3 separate accounts on my laptop so nobody ever goes snooping in my files - 1) My name, 2) Work, 3) Guest. The first account is for all of my vanilla related computer stuff (facebook, email, youtube, photos, etc.) The second account has everything camming related, sites, photos/videos. And the guest account has no password, so anyone can use it and it's completely empty (except for an internet browser.)

    Lighting is hard for me to explain too, and I'm a hobby photographer! Of course it looks weird when a big ass light is in front of the bed....Just shove it in the closet or move it to a corner of the room, and say you have a photographer friend who came over with her lights and wanted you to model or something. And the photos aren't available because she's still editing them

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Chest is a fab idea I will look into that! My lights come down its just not something I want to do daily. I did think the other day if my mum had to let herself in for some reason how bad it could be!! Maybe I should be a bit more careful about things!

    Laptop is a good idea too I will have to look into that I've got a few they all have to go under the bed talk about drama!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I had to move back into my parents' house after a nasty separation (long story) and to take care of my ailing dad. They are always home, so I find myself having to get creative about hiding things in my part of the house. I just tell them the lights are for my photography business. I keep toys and outfits locked in the closet, installed a lock on the closet door so no one can get in without a key. Definitely understand what you mean about keeping people at arms length. I don't tell anyone what I do, and loathe socializing. Having a chest would be an excellent idea I think!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I find it a bit stressful in one sense keeping secrets but the reprecussions are not something that I want to deal with for family! I am quite well disguised you would have to really try hard to know it was me but of course we all run those risks it's part of it. Just not a convo I want with my elderly parents! My solicitor tried to get me some work for my typing business that was hard to get out of!!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I have a lighting set from amazon that easily folds away and pushges under the bed in my cam room. Then all my clothes, shoes etc go in a huge box with a blanket over the top and toys get shoved in whatever draw is nearby lol.
    "If you want to earn more, learn more" ~ Zig Ziglar




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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Quote Originally Posted by sexysusie View Post
    I have a lighting set from amazon that easily folds away and pushges under the bed in my cam room. Then all my clothes, shoes etc go in a huge box with a blanket over the top and toys get shoved in whatever draw is nearby lol.
    I would love a link to this or something similiar. My lights are huge softboxes that are time consuming to take apart and rebuild.

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    "If you want to earn more, learn more" ~ Zig Ziglar




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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I like the photography suggestions!

    I don't have a separate room for camming so I have to hide things away everytime...my cam clothes, toys and clip props go in the bottom of my wardrobe. Speakers can stay on the shelves and for lighting I use a special daylight lamp for SAD, which stays up on the bookcase...I bought years ago for SAD, so there's no problem if that's ever questioned. Fortunately, my family lives miles away and we don't have friends or neighbours who will pop over unannounced. I regularly have deliveries though and just answer the door looking like a slut!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Classy_Katy View Post
    I regularly have deliveries though and just answer the door looking like a slut!
    Oh god, haha I do this all the time. I'm always getting groceries right before or after my cam shift so I have my heavy 'slut' makeup on. When I used to have roommates it was so awkward when they needed something from me and I have to come into the living room and they look at me like "Why the fuck do you have so much makeup on, it's 3pm on a Tuesday".

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I just let them leave a card where we live I would be shot for wondering round like I do! I once signed for something and the guys face!!

    I think its what puts me off in the evenings I would have to move it all downstairs or go without the lights etc so I just don't bother.. Excuses excuses!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    My boyfriend and I are into playing video games and watching live streams so I keep my lights up and tell anyone that catches a glimpse that they are for when we are live streaming game play on Twitch.

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    That's why I don't buy softboxes, even I'd love to.
    Umbrellas are easier to hide and be taken apart. I just take out the light bulbs and put them between my clothes, and hide everything else under bed.
    By the way, don't you, girls, keep the camming outfits in drawers? I mean, I do keep them there, at the lingerie area. I doubt someone, even parents, would actually start looking trough your drawers, especially in your lingerie drawers.
    The only things I hide, are the webcam and the lights. And my only 2 toys are hidden, again, between clothes.
    Otherwise, my bedroom looks normal.
    I don't hide the shoes, since I am a woman and is normal to have shoes, lol.
    And I never use my camming pc or let anyone get close to it. I have a separate laptop for that.
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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I leave my webcam and mic out as I have family abroad that I skype with...that's why I bought my first webcam.
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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Quote Originally Posted by innocentindian View Post
    I have a big wooden chest that I keep in the bedroom with a padlock. Any time someone is coming over, I toss all of my toys/outfits/webcam in there and lock it up with a padlock. If anyone asks why I have a locked chest, I say I keep my sentimental items in there or important documents (passport, tax documents, etc.) and I enjoy the way it looks as a piece of furniture.

    For your computer, password protect your account! I have 3 separate accounts on my laptop so nobody ever goes snooping in my files - 1) My name, 2) Work, 3) Guest. The first account is for all of my vanilla related computer stuff (facebook, email, youtube, photos, etc.) The second account has everything camming related, sites, photos/videos. And the guest account has no password, so anyone can use it and it's completely empty (except for an internet browser.)

    Lighting is hard for me to explain too, and I'm a hobby photographer! Of course it looks weird when a big ass light is in front of the bed....Just shove it in the closet or move it to a corner of the room, and say you have a photographer friend who came over with her lights and wanted you to model or something. And the photos aren't available because she's still editing them
    Love the chest idea cause they look so awesome as home decor and you can use the top of it to set things on. Multi Function! I cannot believe people would ask why you lock it though! People are so rude! I would just tell them I have a lock on it cause it has a place for a lock and it looks cooler with the lock on it!

    Never admit to having something of value. If people are nosy enough to ask why you would lock a lockable trunk they arent to be trusted!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I am lucky when it comes to 'lights excuses' because I live in an older place that actually doesn't have any overhead lights. O.O

    If anyone asks I just tell them I've been too lazy to buy a floor lamp for the room. LOL!

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Quote Originally Posted by DeepThoughts View Post
    Never admit to having something of value. If people are nosy enough to ask why you would lock a lockable trunk they arent to be trusted!
    It's always my nosy family that asks! I'm very open about my "weird" hobbies (like comics books, video games, nude art) so they'd be really curious as to what I have locked up, it must be very scandalous

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Mine all know. Although I do have to remind my Mom not to look in drawers, which makes her laugh.

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    I can just picture if we all died and our loved ones had to clean out our flats. ( Not to be morbid) They'd be like well, she certainly liked lingerie, photography lighting, makeup, webcams, and oh, my. She must have been very sexual. I just found a bag of dicks. Oh wait, and some whips, chains, - wtf is this thing? ( looking at a cock cage)

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    ^I have thought about the same thing too, Mare! Every time I travel somewhere, get caught in a hurricane, have surgery, etc., I think oh crap if something happens, everyone is certainly going to be in for a series of surprises when they go through my stuff.

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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mare View Post
    I can just picture if we all died and our loved ones had to clean out our flats. ( Not to be morbid) They'd be like well, she certainly liked lingerie, photography lighting, makeup, webcams, and oh, my. She must have been very sexual. I just found a bag of dicks. Oh wait, and some whips, chains, - wtf is this thing? ( looking at a cock cage)
    We had to clean out my father in law's house after he died and guess what we found? A penis pump and some naked pics!
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    We don't need toxicity, not even from ourselves.
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    Default Re: Keeping people at arms length...?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~Carmen~ View Post
    We had to clean out my father in law's house after he died and guess what we found? A penis pump and some naked pics!
    Lol! I love it!!

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