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    Default Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Hi everyone,

    I'm new to this site and figured I'd post this thread to see if anyone can help me out.

    I'm 21, Canadian, and have been escorting for about a year now on the side as well as working full-time and being in school. I like escorting because I like the fantasy of having sex for money, as well as BDSM, and I think I do a great job of pleasuring an older man and having fun with him. I just recently did my first porn shoot in California in November, and I made 5g American doing so.. which helped me pay off some debt. Everything was safe and fun, I don't regret it.

    I haven't told anyone about doing porn or that I've been an escort. My best friends have no idea and they have noticed that it seems like I've been acting distant.
    But the truth is that i don't know if i can trust them with this. They're both in perfect relationships, live perfect lives and rarely even drink. I feel like i'm the fucked up friend whenever i hang out with them. But I had to do what I've done because a) i needed the money and b) I have no outlet for sexual desires and I'm a very sexual person by nature... i figured if I'm going to have this sex drive i might as well get paid for it. Lol.

    I feel really strongly about being open and honest about sexuality, and I wish I had someone to talk to about all of this. Lately i've been feeling really lost between what I am and what people think I am. I have absolutely no shame in what i've done, but I wish I could be honest about it. I feel like this secret is weighing on my shoulders.

    How do you ladies balance your life outside of work? Are there certain things that no one knows about you?

    Thanks for listening xox
    BlondeGirlStrangeWorld

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    I have been dancing for 12 years. Have not told my friends because all it does is cause drama. My family is a bunch of assholes and if I told them, they'd probably judge me, even though they certainly aren't perfect. There is a thread listing reasons not to tell people. I'm too lazy to look for it.
    It's your business. Not everyone needs to know. In what way would it be beneficial?

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Thanks for replying!! I appreciate that.

    Do you dance in another city then? How do they not find out?
    I'll definitely check that thread on here.. I think its just the emotional weight being lifted off? But I worry that it'll just end up causing more stress telling the wrong ppl?

    Do you have a best friend that knows about it? Or anyone at all? Does it bother you to keep a secret from someone you see 4+ times a week? Or do you just keep it in the back of your mind and switch personalities on and off?

    Any advice is appreciated as I'm kinda feeling alone on this.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    I live in a city far from my friends and family. I tell them I work as a promotional model.My best friend doesn't know and I don't want to tell her because again, it's just going to cause drama. I don't switch personalities. I'm myself the whole time. I just don't talk about work.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??


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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Most of us don't tell our families/friends because life is SO much easier that way. Personally, I can't tell anyone because I have a vanilla career that I worked very hard for. Some of my oldest friends know... because I told one person, and it spread like wildfire, as gossip tends to do... but I think in the entire 7 year span of time I've been in sex work, I've only told a handful of people (including boyfriends, friends, and acquaintances), and I regret telling most of them. IMO, the only person who truly needs to know about your work is someone you're in a committed relationship with.

    Everyone keeps parts of their lives to themselves. Our work is no different. You're still the same friend/daughter/sister/coworker/etc., regardless of what you do for money.

    The main reason I struggle with keeping it a secret is that I hate the way people assume I'm just a sweet, innocent girl who doesn't drink, do drugs, or get into trouble. For the most part, it's true, but if they only knew what I do for work! lol. You just have to accept that most people are not going to "get" you, unless they are fellow sex workers (thank god for stripperweb).

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Why not hang out with new people that are like minded? I know that I have certain groups of friends that don't give a shit about sex work, in some circles it is no different than having any other job, but it is a large city with a progressive streak. Then in other conservative areas my friends just don't talk about sex at all.

    As for family, that is a tough one. I guess and I am lucky for being a guy where it is acceptable and advantageous to have a high libido.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Thanks for your reply do you ever worry that working in the sex industry will affect your career? And how quickly would you mention that you've done sex work to a boyfriend? Wouldn't they be upset if you kept it off and didn't tell them? Sorry I have so many questions lol I've never had a chance to voice them for a whole year. Personally I find it nearly impossible to find an open-minded guy where I'm from. I like what you said about keeping a part of your life to yourself; I try to gauge what kind of a person someone is before I say much.

    I also think I want to talk about it because I want to connect with girls that do the same thing, Or guys too! But ya I see how the cons outweigh the pros here.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    This is why I have a hard time relating to vanilla people..I still have my friends I had before dancing, like two or three of them, but I haven't made non-sex works friends since I started really. You have to be selective with friends in or out of sex work , so just keep a few good ones close.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    But where do you find people that work in the same industry? It's such a taboo topic Like would I just message someone I think works in the industry on fb and ask them to go for a drink or girls night or something? Where did you find your friends in the industry?

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Well I'm a stripper/escort so the girls I work with mostly, if you're a cam girl it can get isolating I would guess!

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Also, if you do not want people finding out I would not shoot any more studio porn. It is so different now with free porn all over the net. 10 years ago when it was mostly straight to DVD it was not as likely people would see but now porn is streamed and heavily circulated.
    XoXo Gia
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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    The company I shot for said that it was straight to DVD porn sold overseas in India and Thailand and what not, I think that he just said that to make me feel at ease about it (it worked lol) but anyway you're right. 5k American was converted to $6,700 Canadian.. like that's pretty good money for one weekend staying in a hotel for free in a beautiful Californian city. Ugh. Lol. The guy said that the chances of recognizing someone are slim because there's hundreds of new videos made daily... is that true? Anyone weigh in on this?

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Been in it since 2003.

    Starting people hated me that I went from giving it up for free to getting paid. Now I am in my 30s and what they think does not matter.

    Who you choose to tell about your work is your choice, and also you have to remember you can not control their reaction. so if you are going to tell them take it as just wanted to give them information. If they make a big deal about it depending on self esteem strong you are you can tell them your not interested in their opinion.

    Sometimes people forget that you can share information about yourself to someone, and their response is not accepted, because it's not about them its about you sharing something of yourself to maybe make the relationship closer.

    Sometimes I tell people about my work to push them away which does come in handy sometimes. other times. I share because it's just work and I don't want people to think all I do is sit at all home all day, but in the end no one doesn't need to know who isn't 100% in my life. If they are the person I wake up to every day maybe yes I will tell them if they are not they will wait to hear my personal story when i am ready to tell them.
    Stripperweb is closing! Join me over at WeCamgirls

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Been in it since 2003.

    Starting people hated me that I went from giving it up for free to getting paid. Now I am in my 30s and what they think does not matter.

    Who you choose to tell about your work is your choice, and also you have to remember you can not control their reaction. so if you are going to tell them take it as just wanted to give them information. If they make a big deal about it depending on self esteem strong you are you can tell them your not interested in their opinion.

    Sometimes people forget that you can share information about yourself to someone, and their response is not accepted, because it's not about them its about you sharing something of yourself to maybe make the relationship closer.

    Sometimes I tell people about my work to push them away which does come in handy sometimes. other times. I share because it's just work and I don't want people to think all I do is sit at all home all day, but in the end no one doesn't need to know who isn't 100% in my life. If they are the person I wake up to every day maybe yes I will tell them if they are not they will wait to hear my personal story when i am ready to tell them.
    Stripperweb is closing! Join me over at WeCamgirls

    A part of all you earn is yours to keep. It should be not less than a tenth no matter how little you earn. It can be as much more as you can afford. - Richest Man in Babylon

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    IMHO if you want to keep it a secret then don't tell anyone ever. Also, IMHO future SOs don't need to know either. Telling anyone about this accomplishes nothing but invite additional drama into your life and can do nothing but hurt you.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by blondegirlstrangeworld View Post
    Thanks for your reply do you ever worry that working in the sex industry will affect your career? And how quickly would you mention that you've done sex work to a boyfriend? Wouldn't they be upset if you kept it off and didn't tell them? Sorry I have so many questions lol I've never had a chance to voice them for a whole year. Personally I find it nearly impossible to find an open-minded guy where I'm from. I like what you said about keeping a part of your life to yourself; I try to gauge what kind of a person someone is before I say much.

    I also think I want to talk about it because I want to connect with girls that do the same thing, Or guys too! But ya I see how the cons outweigh the pros here.
    My next career ( acting/screenwriting ) won't give a f*ck about my stripping job. In fact, stripping has been a great thing to do pre-Hollywood.

    Guys are a whole 'nother story. I think it depends on the guy.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by rickdugan View Post
    IMHO if you want to keep it a secret then don't tell anyone ever. Also, IMHO future SOs don't need to know either. Telling anyone about this accomplishes nothing but invite additional drama into your life and can do nothing but hurt you.
    True. It's not about being dishonest. It's about protecting your privacy. My stripping past will come out in the open when I'm more well known, but by then it will be over and I will have moved on.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    I am just going to say this:

    Be very careful who you tell. I had told my best friend about my adult entertainment jobs. One day he got drunk, slipped up and told my mom, and suddenly my whole entire family knew about my webcam modeling, porn, and strip club past. My mom sent me mean text messages on a daily basis, throughout the day for a month telling me that I was a whore, a prostitute, trash, worthless, etc. until I finally blocked her number. Then she took it upon herself to tell my entire family. For 2 years I wasn't invited to any holiday get togethers, birthdays, or any family events. I spent holidays alone and on my birthday I didn't even get so much as a birthday phone call. It was horrible and I felt so isolated and alone. My family slowly began talking to me again when I started working a vanilla job. I haven't done porn since 2012 but my mom never let me forget about that. Even to this day she still likes to bring that up. Like, for example, when she's bragging about how so and so's daughter recently got married, graduated from nursing school, and is expecting a baby. Then she'll be rude and say something,"Why aren't you married yet? Oh, yeah because you whored around and did porn!" In my opinion it is best to spare yourself the drama. Don't tell your family or friends about what you do. Leave them in the dark. You can say that you do promotional modeling or that you're a brand ambassador. It's best to seek out others in the adult entertainment field who you can relate to. I've found that they are more accepting and open-minded. They will not judge you negatively or feel the need to to try to make you feel ashamed.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    2 people can keep a secret, if one of them is dead.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    I am just going to say this:

    Be very careful who you tell. I had told my best friend about my adult entertainment jobs. One day he got drunk, slipped up and told my mom, and suddenly my whole entire family knew about my webcam modeling, porn, and strip club past. My mom sent me mean text messages on a daily basis, throughout the day for a month telling me that I was a whore, a prostitute, trash, worthless, etc. until I finally blocked her number. Then she took it upon herself to tell my entire family. For 2 years I wasn't invited to any holiday get togethers, birthdays, or any family events. I spent holidays alone and on my birthday I didn't even get so much as a birthday phone call. It was horrible and I felt so isolated and alone. My family slowly began talking to me again when I started working a vanilla job. I haven't done porn since 2012 but my mom never let me forget about that. Even to this day she still likes to bring that up. Like, for example, when she's bragging about how so and so's daughter recently got married, graduated from nursing school, and is expecting a baby. Then she'll be rude and say something,"Why aren't you married yet? Oh, yeah because you whored around and did porn!" In my opinion it is best to spare yourself the drama. Don't tell your family or friends about what you do. Leave them in the dark. You can say that you do promotional modeling or that you're a brand ambassador. It's best to seek out others in the adult entertainment field who you can relate to. I've found that they are more accepting and open-minded. They will not judge you negatively or feel the need to to try to make you feel ashamed.
    I am sorry that society is so close minded, and cruel. I hope you found those that do not judge you.

    The only thing left that we can do is help future generations not be ostracized for something so damn trivial.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    I am just going to say this:

    Be very careful who you tell. I had told my best friend about my adult entertainment jobs. One day he got drunk, slipped up and told my mom, and suddenly my whole entire family knew about my webcam modeling, porn, and strip club past. My mom sent me mean text messages on a daily basis, throughout the day for a month telling me that I was a whore, a prostitute, trash, worthless, etc. until I finally blocked her number. Then she took it upon herself to tell my entire family. For 2 years I wasn't invited to any holiday get togethers, birthdays, or any family events. I spent holidays alone and on my birthday I didn't even get so much as a birthday phone call. It was horrible and I felt so isolated and alone. My family slowly began talking to me again when I started working a vanilla job. I haven't done porn since 2012 but my mom never let me forget about that. Even to this day she still likes to bring that up. Like, for example, when she's bragging about how so and so's daughter recently got married, graduated from nursing school, and is expecting a baby. Then she'll be rude and say something,"Why aren't you married yet? Oh, yeah because you whored around and did porn!" In my opinion it is best to spare yourself the drama. Don't tell your family or friends about what you do. Leave them in the dark. You can say that you do promotional modeling or that you're a brand ambassador. It's best to seek out others in the adult entertainment field who you can relate to. I've found that they are more accepting and open-minded. They will not judge you negatively or feel the need to to try to make you feel ashamed.

    I'm so sorry you went through that. My mom pretty much did the same thing, right down to re-naming me "whore" (she doesn't use that word but every time she thinks of me, it's colored by my job.)

    On the bright side my surrogate mom is super supportive and understanding, & I do the same for her.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    I haven't told a single soul. Only 2 people know I ever danced- my ex and his brother. But neither of them know I'm currently dancing. Noone knows. None of my family knows, and none of my friends know either. I prefer to keep it that way. I don't need to be cast out or judged by any of them.
    Last edited by ScarletKitten; 01-08-2017 at 03:56 AM.
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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    The company I shot for said that it was straight to DVD porn sold overseas in India and Thailand and what not, I think that he just said that to make me feel at ease about it (it worked lol) but anyway you're right. 5k American was converted to $6,700 Canadian.. like that's pretty good money for one weekend staying in a hotel for free in a beautiful Californian city. Ugh. Lol. The guy said that the chances of recognizing someone are slim because there's hundreds of new videos made daily... is that true? Anyone weigh in on this?



    I can't even begin to tell you how un- true this is. A friend of mine who worked in a "straight" industry but had a high sex drive did a blow job porn in her 20's ( 12 years ago) when the Internet porn thing was just in its infancy. Well last year her husband's friend in MEXICO came across her video online and showed it to him oops!! She never even told him. ( she met him after ) keep in mind, she only did one and was not some recognizable porn name, and still easy to find.

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    Default Re: Not sure who to trust... can someone give advice??

    Ninelives, that is very true! I also did porn with a man who said it would only be sold overseas and would never be posted publicly. A guy friend of mine found it on Youporn and on various free porn sites. I'm not a recognizable porn name either, just a plain 'ol midwest girl.

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