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Thread: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it mean

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    Duh My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it mean

    My bf and I have been living together for five months. There's this girl on Facebook that he's friends with, and over these months he's shown me her picture 3 or 4 times. Tonight I finally asked him, why do keep showing me her? Sure, he's shown me other people, but only once. For some reason it's this girl that keeps coming up.

    I've never been the jealous type, and I'm not jealous, but I am a bit annoyed, and want to know if this means anything at all. He denies havin any interest (naturally) what do you ladies think?
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    God/dess miss.a.p1600's Avatar
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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Well what he say when you asked him why?

    He could be slick showing you your competition and in an indirect way saying you need to step up with your game and not get too complacent / comfortable or that other broad will be your replacement. But I don't want to jump to conclusions though.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Maybe he wants a three-way.

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Well, she lives far away, and is married, he told me. He told me doesn't fantasize about her, doesn't want to date her, but yes, he thinks she's beautiful. I'm not worried about being replaced by her or anyone. He's very faithful, and is romantic, really not the type of guy for that. Which is why I'm so curious, why her?

    Slowpoke, he's not getting one, not like this!
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    I'm paranoid so I think he might be doing this so he can say in the future "oh she knew about you" (he might be playing her or playing you both.)

    By the way everyone is different. My current SO gets crazy jealous about things like this, but I don't feel that towards him b/c he's shy & I want him to be more social with people.

    Back to your issue....what does he know about her that you don't know? Is she considering a divorce? Your man might be a gold digger on the down low. He might be waiting to get with her when she gets her divorce settlement $$$ (IF she's looking at that kind of future.)

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Yea, I want to know what he says when you ask why he keeps showing you the picture of her?
    You're not really giving enough info to go on, sorry.
    You may be showing annoyance (which's understandable) & he's getting off on that somehow, maybe trying to create competition or jealousy (whether existent or not) ?
    Anyway, to me it sounds like a dick move..I'd befriend/find some hot guy & start showing your guy his pic.


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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    I don't know about that! I don't think so. I am paranoid, too. Honestly, I don't think he's planning anything. I personally feel its disrespectful, and strange, to show your SO a picture of someone else over and over. I've never done that to him.

    I think what I want to know is what's going through his head. It's anot her woman, for gods sake- it's not like he keeps showing me a picture of his grandma! It's got to mean something.
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    I don't know about that! I don't think so. I am paranoid, too. Honestly, I don't think he's planning anything. I personally feel its disrespectful, and strange, to show your SO a picture of someone else over and over. I've never done that to him.

    I think what I want to know is what's going through his head. It's anot her woman, for gods sake- it's not like he keeps showing me a picture of his grandma! It's got to mean something.
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Well..if you want to know, ask!


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Whirlerz- sorry for the lack of info. I asked him kinda playfully, if he likes that girl, and wants to date her. He told me she's married, didn't say yes or no. He was playfully smiling, going off my mood. Which was totally fake to get him to talk...
    I asked where they met, he said a photography class. Ok. I kept pushing if he ever liked her, and he kept pushing shes married, she's older. But still, not saying no.
    Then I dropped the playful act and started asking. Why are you showing me her so much? He said he didn't think it had been that often, he doesn't remember etc. I said I'm starting to lose hope in our relationship. He got upset and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I dropped it, but I am not forgetting yet.

    It is a dick move. I don't appreciate games. I think that more than anything is why I'm upset
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Yea, I don't like it either. I wouldn't like that, & it reminds me of a guy I used to be with, he loved to annoy the fuck outta me w/random shit like that. (In his case) attention getting/drama creation.


    MANY MEN WANTED TO LAY ME DOWN, BUT FEW WANTED TO LIFT ME UP

    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Then I dropped the playful act and started asking. Why are you showing me her so much? He said he didn't think it had been that often, he doesn't remember etc.
    When you ask if he is serious and he can't be serious then yeah it is a problem.

    I am jovial all the time and I love teasing and general playfulness, but the minute they ask me to be serious I owe them as much.

    Permanently hiding behind comedy is a form of gas lighting (unintentionally most of the time), making you out to be the buzzkill when you deserve to know what is real and what is fake.

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Wow, thanks death and texas! That's really insightful. He did just apologize. I don't think he meant to hurt me. I still don't know what he meant, only he does, but I decided not to push further.
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    If he thinks he can get away with making a joke out of everything, he is a waste of oxygen. Get rid of him.

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Quote Originally Posted by KikiGem View Post
    Wow, thanks death and texas! That's really insightful. He did just apologize. I don't think he meant to hurt me. I still don't know what he meant, only he does, but I decided not to push further.
    Helping is fun!

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    It is! Thanks. I hope this stays resolved
    "These lumps- I know you wanna slump up on these lumps! But you can't cause you're a chump- a chuuuump."
    Lumpy Space Princess

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Quote Originally Posted by KikiGem View Post

    It is a dick move. I don't appreciate games. I think that more than anything is why I'm upset
    Like you, I have no tolerance for games. I'm extremely direct and don't play any games in relationships...

    The only thing I can think is that he's intrigued by her, but he genuinely doesn't know why. Many men aren't great about figuring themselves out when it comes to emotional issues or unconscious issues. I guess I'd try to open up a conversation about digging into the core of why he's focused on her a few times now. "I just think it's interesting...this hasn't happened before." Come up with a few suggestions to show that you aren't afraid to explore some scarier truths with him. Does he know her from his past, and she's been occupying his mind lately due to her life's trajectory? Does he find her appealing beyond her beauty? What memories does he have of her?

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Look, the woman lives far away, is unavailable to him and also older. I do not think she poses a "threat" to your relationship. What, specifically is it he is showing you? Is he trying to show you: how pretty she is ? How good her photography is? How cute her yorkie poo is? How terrible her eyebrows are?? I know a lot of other posters are real quick to jump down his throat but what is his reason for showing you her IG posts?

    If he is showing them to you I do not think it is because he is trying to fuck her. If that were the case I do not think he would let you know who she was at all. Ask him flat out what the deal is
    XoXo Gia
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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    What does he say, when he shows you the picture?

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    Arrow Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Quote Originally Posted by KikiGem View Post
    Whirlerz- sorry for the lack of info. I asked him kinda playfully, if he likes that girl, and wants to date her. He told me she's married, didn't say yes or no. He was playfully smiling, going off my mood. Which was totally fake to get him to talk...
    I asked where they met, he said a photography class. Ok. I kept pushing if he ever liked her, and he kept pushing shes married, she's older. But still, not saying no.
    Then I dropped the playful act and started asking. Why are you showing me her so much? He said he didn't think it had been that often, he doesn't remember etc. I said I'm starting to lose hope in our relationship. He got upset and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I dropped it, but I am not forgetting yet.


    It is a dick move. I don't appreciate games. I think that more than anything is why I'm upset
    Quote Originally Posted by charlie61 View Post
    Like you, I have no tolerance for games. I'm extremely direct and don't play any games in relationships...

    The only thing I can think is that he's intrigued by her, but he genuinely doesn't know why. Many men aren't great about figuring themselves out when it comes to emotional issues or unconscious issues. I guess I'd try to open up a conversation about digging into the core of why he's focused on her a few times now. "I just think it's interesting...this hasn't happened before." Come up with a few suggestions to show that you aren't afraid to explore some scarier truths with him. Does he know her from his past, and she's been occupying his mind lately due to her life's trajectory? Does he find her appealing beyond her beauty? What memories does he have of her?
    It sounds like he doesn't want to give out a lot of info, she asked him.

    Quote Originally Posted by Gia2608 View Post
    Look, the woman lives far away, is unavailable to him and also older. I do not think she poses a "threat" to your relationship. What, specifically is it he is showing you? Is he trying to show you: how pretty she is ? How good her photography is? How cute her yorkie poo is? How terrible her eyebrows are?? I know a lot of other posters are real quick to jump down his throat but what is his reason for showing you her IG posts?

    If he is showing them to you I do not think it is because he is trying to fuck her. If that were the case I do not think he would let you know who she was at all. Ask him flat out what the deal is
    Same thing..she asked him about her, he said they met in class & is married, but when asked if he likes her, he shuts down..he 'doesn't remember' showing her the picture all that much?
    I stand by what I said, maybe he's not trying to get w/her, but it's a still dick move, & he's not giving any direct answers!


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    -Eartha Kitt

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    ^Ah, thanks for pulling that out, girlie. I got lazy and replied to the OP instead of reading all of the responses.

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Just cause she lives far away and married means nothing. He could easily book the next flight / travel to see her and many married people out here carrying on relationships and affairs outside their marriage.

    And some men are really that brazen. By Showing you the other women he might be attracted to, he is being "honest" with you so IF something were to go down he could claim well you already knew what time it was.

    Idk. Its really not enough info to know for sure but just be careful. At the very least it's insensitive and dumb for him to do that.

    I bet he'd lose his mind if you kept showing him pics of hot guys you're attracted to.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    What's crazy to me is that he doesn't have the sense to keep it a secret. Like, if he were intrigued by this woman / planning a discreet affair, he'd keep it a secret. So what's the point in showing his girlfriend?

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    I don't think every man is secretive like that. Most yes but a percentage will do the opposite and be brazenly open with it. One reason is he wanted to see her reaction. The other reason is he can claim he is being "honest" with her and laying it all out on the table.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: My boyfriend keeps showing me a picture of this other girl- ladies, what does it

    Yea. In my experience, a guy I was with didn't actually show me any pics, but he left them out for me to see, knowing full well I'd find them.
    & he'd point things out over & over again (not necessarily about any woman or women) just to be annoying & get a reaction.


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