It's been a while since I've been on this site. I'm coming to you for some advice. For the longest time I felt as though I wanted out of dancing and into my "real career" for good. After dancing for 5.5 years I finally took the leap. I was out of dancing for a little over a year when my employer let me go due to the company downsizing. I immediately took up dancing again for money (my current boyfriend wasn't thrilled by this, but never stood in the way). A few months later I was offered a job back in my industry and I took it. It's incredibly stressful, I don't enjoy the work anymore, but I find myself forcing myself to stay due to the salary, and it's what I think everyone wants me to do. I know all the positives of going back, however I'm scared to go back because 1) I know I can't do dancing long term 2) I can't work when I get pregnant (the club is FILLED by cigarette smoke) 3) I know some family members and friends won't be okay with it 4) Lastly the unknown financially makes me nervous.
I just want to be happy and make money, my boyfriend just wants to see me be safe and happy. He won't stop or force me not to go back, but I know he won't be okay with it long term. I don't know what I want to do after dancing again, and I don't know how to find that within myself.
Anyone else been in this position? And please don't bash the boyfriend. This is my internal issue, and ultimately is my decision. I'm just feeling lost, my "real career" was the only thing I've done and ultimately went into financial aid debt for for both of my degrees. I don't know what to do.