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Thread: Out of Retirement

  1. #1
    Newbie wilsd7's Avatar
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    Default Out of Retirement

    Hello all! I am a former member who just recently rejoined.

    I retired from dancing about 5 and a half years ago when I went back to school. Prior to that I danced for about 7 years from 18 to 25 with the exception of a 2 year break in the middle. Since then I have earned 2 degrees and I am now a professional healthcare practitioner in a large hospital (this will become relevant shortly). I have been working in my field for about a year and I truly live and breath what I do. I have found my purpose in saving lives and working with the most critical patients. I am making decent but entry level pay that is relatively modest but secure. Or so I thought. In addition to my 50k worth of student loans, I have been visited by the biggest buzz kill of them all: the IRS (to the tune of about 4K).

    I have decided to return to dancing in order to improve my financial situation and alleviate some of my debts. After crunching the numbers, I realize that this is really the only way to secure my financial future and avoid just barely scraping by for the next few decades. Okay, maybe not the ONLY way but certainly it's something I know how to do and I know the potential it offers to set me up for life. At the age of 30, I truly understand the saying that "youth is wasted on the young". I made a fortune as a dancer and I squandered it on nothing. If I understood the importance of security in my 20's, I would have very little worries now. But alas, this was a lesson I had to learn the hard way. My plan is to set specific goals and an arbitrary timeline in order to have a measureable end point when I will go back in to retirement.

    So I've come to terms with this decision. I actually ended up in therapy a while back to evaluate the shame and embarrassment I once felt about my previous stripper life. I started a relationship in the last 6 months that I was dancing which lasted over 4 years and was profoundly abusive on every level. He even went so far as to tell me at my graduation for my bachelors that it "doesn't matter how many degrees I get, I will always be a worthless stripper". Fuck him. And therapy really helped. I no longer look at this as something shameful and I am not concerned with the emotional aspect of it.

    I do, however, have a few concerns. First is the obvious anxiety about coming back after so many years: my regulars are gone, most of the girls I work with are gone, I'm still in decent shape but I am a little fluffier than I was back then, I haven't worn heels in years or danced in them for that matter, etc. I have decided on 2 clubs that I worked at previously that cater mostly to traveling businessmen and are large enough to blend in to. I would be absolutely terrified of being spotted by one of the doctors that I work with. In my field, it is imperative that the doctors respect and trust my judgment because I am essentially treating patients on their behalf. Because I am a specialist, they consult me for advice on treatment plans. If they were to question that, it would potentially impede my ability to make life or death decisions. I have earned their confidence and although I consider most of them friends, I would hate the issue even existing. But this is a chance I am willing to take. And they have about half a million each in medical school debt so what's not to sympathize with? Haha

    So I'm hoping to hear from those of you who have experienced a similar situation. What circumstances brought you back? Did you have a goal going in? What was your experience going back after a long hiatus? Did you accomplish what you set out to? All of it! I really appreciate anything you can offer!

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  3. #2
    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    All I want to say is Congratulations on such a huge accomplishment!! I'm going to retire this year and transition into screenwriting /acting.

    Glad you kicked that loser to the curb. You deserve way better.

    There is nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to stripping!!! People are going to judge no matter what you do, so do what makes you happy and live your life!!

    Good luck to you!!

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    I am coming out of retirement as well. Best of luck to you.

  6. #4
    Newbie wilsd7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Thank you! And congrats to you! I just hope you were smarter than me about money haha

    And yes, he was awful and he was the walking talking embodiment of how I felt about myself. The best thing that came out of therapy was discovering that those feelings about myself were unfounded. It really makes me aware of how I attract people to me.

    Best of luck to you! I'd love to see whatever you create!

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  8. #5
    Newbie wilsd7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    It's nice to know I'm not alone SativaDiva3. How long have you been retired and what brings you back (if you don't mind me asking)

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    First of all congratulations, you sound extremely intelligent and accomplished so dancing was NOT a waste of time as it allowed you to get your education even if you do have SOME debt. Will you be doing both? What's your vanilla job hours like? Good luck!!

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  11. #7
    God/dess LoveyDovey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by wilsd7 View Post
    Thank you! And congrats to you! I just hope you were smarter than me about money haha

    And yes, he was awful and he was the walking talking embodiment of how I felt about myself. The best thing that came out of therapy was discovering that those feelings about myself were unfounded. It really makes me aware of how I attract people to me.

    Best of luck to you! I'd love to see whatever you create!
    Thanks!

    I didn't blow through money, but I could have done better with saving/investing. My club is going downhill so I'm getting ready to jump ship.

    If you hear about a stripper originally from Philly who stripped in southern CA and wrote a supernatural crime drama and made a movie, then that's me lol. When I finally sell the script and go into production, I'll probably post about it. It's my life's work and ties in with my life's purpose.

    You deserve love and respect. Don't settle for less, from anyone!!

    Best wishes for a smooth transition back into the scene.
    Last edited by LoveyDovey; 01-22-2017 at 09:33 PM.

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  13. #8
    Newbie wilsd7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    First of all congratulations, you sound extremely intelligent and accomplished so dancing was NOT a waste of time as it allowed you to get your education even if you do have SOME debt. Will you be doing both? What's your vanilla job hours like? Good luck!!
    Thank you! You're right; even though I didn't save money like I should have, dancing afforded me so many opportunities I would have otherwise missed and taught me things I could not have learned elsewhere. Not to mention the lifelong friends (all have since retired but I've been chatting with them about this decision).

    I will be doing both. I just can't see myself ever giving that up. Fortunately, I work 3 shifts per week that are 12 hours (usually at the hospital from 6:30 am until 7:30 or 8:00 pm) so I will have 4 days off. My plan is to do 2 to 3 days a week at the club. I work at the hospital every other weekend so I plan to use the alternative weekends to dance. I don't want to exhaust myself to the point where my performance at my job suffers because I don't want to be a danger to patients but I also know that the more I work, the sooner I can get to my goal. It will be a delicate balance so I guess I just need to feel it out and see what is tangible. To be honest, I'm excited about the prospect of finally freeing myself from this constant stress about money. The idea that I could do what I love AND be able to live comfortably is almost too exciting haha

  14. #9
    Senior Member hamdinger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    It is so exciting! I took a year long break after finishing my masters and getting a good job in my field. When I really started planning my student loan repayment, I realized it was totally worth it to dance one night a week and pay off my debt in half the time.

    I also feel like it would be a disaster if my coworkers found out, as I am passionate about my field as well and want a long career. I dance in another city for anonymity, but the 90 min drive is terrible at 2:30. I think I could stand up for myself if my workplace learned about dancing, but in your case, directly interacting with patients, it might be more difficult to defend yourself. It sounds like you have good, respectful relationships at your workplace though.

    I need to do some more calculations, but my preliminary goal is to pay all my debt in 4 years while building solid savings.

    Hearing your story really encourages me. It's tough giving up nights off and lying about it, but I know it will pay off. I'm proud of myself for working hard and taking care of my shit.

    Is your first night planned yet?

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    God/dess arielbriel's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Honestly, and this is just my opinion, I don't think you should do more than 2 days. Like you said you don't want to tire yourself out. Pick the 2 best nights and go with that.

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    ^ I think your right, I knew girls who only worked weekends plus weekday vanilla jobs and they would be tired
    OP I hope it works out for you.
    xoxo

  19. #12
    Newbie wilsd7's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by hamdinger View Post
    It is so exciting! I took a year long break after finishing my masters and getting a good job in my field. When I really started planning my student loan repayment, I realized it was totally worth it to dance one night a week and pay off my debt in half the time.

    I also feel like it would be a disaster if my coworkers found out, as I am passionate about my field as well and want a long career. I dance in another city for anonymity, but the 90 min drive is terrible at 2:30. I think I could stand up for myself if my workplace learned about dancing, but in your case, directly interacting with patients, it might be more difficult to defend yourself. It sounds like you have good, respectful relationships at your workplace though.

    I need to do some more calculations, but my preliminary goal is to pay all my debt in 4 years while building solid savings.

    Hearing your story really encourages me. It's tough giving up nights off and lying about it, but I know it will pay off. I'm proud of myself for working hard and taking care of my shit.

    Is your first night planned yet?
    I can't tell you how helpful your post is! And congrats on your masters; that's amazing! It sounds like we are in very similar situations.

    I was considering traveling to the next city which is also about 90 minutes away. But the way that things have gone since graduation, I haven't even been able to purchase a better vehicle. I definitely wouldn't trust what I'm driving now to get me back and forth but that's at the top of my priority list once I get going. The bigger club that I'm planning to go back to is one I'm pretty familiar with (I was the first dancer when they opened) so I'd feel a little better about my ability to duck out with help if was at risk of being spotted.

    I have some things to get in order so I'm planning on starting Monday February 6th. That way it's a slower night and I can try to get back in the groove while it's a bit more relaxed. And although I spend almost my entire shift on my feet, I already know I'm going to be sore for a while when I go back (I vividly remember that pain haha). That's amazing that you could potentially be out of student debt in 4 years! I'm not shooting for being completely paid off because I want to limit the length of time I'm back. Ideally I'd like to be able to re-retire in 6 months and no longer than a year if things are going well and I feel like I can handle it. My goals right now are to buy a better car, pay off smaller credit card debt, pay my tax debt (hopefully by April), reduce my student loan debt, and have a comfortable savings. I'm not certain but right now the goal of $10,000 in savings seems like a reasonable goal. I'm going to sit down and really crunch the numbers before I go so I can be very clear about my goal and track it.. Luckily my salary is enough to cover all of my current bills and expenses but leaves very little so it would be wonderful to use everything from dancing to debt and savings. I worked with a girl many years ago who had just graduated and became a teacher but started dancing to pay her student loans which would not have been possible on her new teacher salary. She did so well that she was able to buy a home outright. I remember how impressive her hustle was and I completely understand now because I finally understand her motivation.

    I'm so glad you replied! I think 20 years from now we will thank ourselves for being proactive. One of my biggest motivators for paying down my debt other than reducing my debt ratio is reducing that interest! I was totally not prepared for how quickly that adds up!

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  21. #13
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by arielbriel View Post
    Honestly, and this is just my opinion, I don't think you should do more than 2 days. Like you said you don't want to tire yourself out. Pick the 2 best nights and go with that.
    I agree. I think my target is going to be working those alternate weekends and making weekdays dependent on how demanding my regular obligations are. Plus I think that will keep me motivated on the weekends I can work because the bulk of my earnings will depend on it.

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Deleted.
    Last edited by lets_get_lost; 10-07-2019 at 01:26 PM.

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  24. #15
    Senior Member hamdinger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by wilsd7 View Post
    I'm so glad you replied! I think 20 years from now we will thank ourselves for being proactive. One of my biggest motivators for paying down my debt other than reducing my debt ratio is reducing that interest! I was totally not prepared for how quickly that adds up!
    Oh Jesus I know! It's evil. I had my eyes closed about it for a long time because I felt powerless.

    I'm so glad you posted! You're a bad ass Keep me posted and pm me if you ever want or need an ear.

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by lets_get_lost View Post
    Congrats on all your acheivements, don't beat yourself up about not saving more money in the past as you have clearly invested in your future and have a career to show for it. I think based on your circumstances its a great idea to dance as you say all of your dancing money can go straight to savings and debt repayments. However, I think the point you make about the doctors needing to respect you professionally is really really important. Is there any way you can commute to dance in a different state to protect your identity? I'm a medical student and travel 3 hrs to work in a different city so the chance of someone I know seeing me (whether fellow student or any doctors/lecturers) is incredibly small. It just isnt worth risking your entire career and secure future that you worked so hard for, so in my opinion you need to take major steps to protect yourself from being exposed and dont under estimate the repurcissions if you were 'caught'.
    You are absolutely right! At the very least I need to go to another city. I've even run into friends from my hometown while dancing at Rhino in Vegas so it would be naive of me to believe that I would be immune to being discovered. You make a very good point.

    Congrats on medical school! Any idea what residency you'd like to apply to? (If that's not too intrusive lol)

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    Quote Originally Posted by wilsd7 View Post
    So I'm hoping to hear from those of you who have experienced a similar situation. What circumstances brought you back? Did you have a goal going in? What was your experience going back after a long hiatus? Did you accomplish what you set out to? All of it! I really appreciate anything you can offer!
    I thought I was pretty done with dancing last summer because I'm in a place in my career where I can live comfortably. I've been going here and there whenever I wanted to buy something fast, but I've been getting tired of the usual work stuff and trying to get my finances in order. I looked around and found a decent club where I can work once or twice a week and I missed the fast cash, and so far it's been helping me organize. It was a little scary going back the first couple of times, but after some good nights I got back into the swing of things.

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    I've bounced in and out of retirement over the years.
    I am now seeing my reason for coming out of retirement was not having a solid plan of my next career move and financial plan.

    Only have one source of income is now becoming unrealistic to live off, because you sacrifice time or freedom.

    Now I found something I Am extremely good at. in the world of internet marketing and building myself as a personal brand and going to start training to become a certified coach. When I first heard about coaching I thought oh that would be nice even spoke with a few life/business coaches over the years and it didn't hit me til around 2014 that maybe there is something to this coaching thing because the last one I met we had a free session and when she told me her rates I couldn't process how she was making that kind of money because for me to make that level of cash I would have to escort.

    Now I am seeing that I was thinking way to small and that I really have to develop new skill sets and put myself around people who have having the level of success I want, because they say success leaves clues.

    SO now my plan of retirement is EXTREMELY different then before because I have a solid plan of what I want to do next, and I also have set up multiple streams of income that do not take up a lot of time, I have a chance to have huge earning potential and I still get to keep my freedom.

    So when I broke down filling those 3 needs in a career things became much lighter on me.

    If you are leaving the industry for vanilla work then have to come back to adult work for any reasons. you need to have a plan and also able to adjust the plan. I honestly feel like sex work is great, but it can not last forever my body can only handle so much of it over time.
    Stripperweb is closing! Join me over at WeCamgirls

    A part of all you earn is yours to keep. It should be not less than a tenth no matter how little you earn. It can be as much more as you can afford. - Richest Man in Babylon

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  29. #19
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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    First: good job woman, you're a hard worker and you will excel at anything, it's obvious.

    Second: per the timeline you described, you danced when money was incredible and it's not going to be like that if/when you come back. Trust me, I was there and I still am here.

    Third: once you get on stage for one song and give one guy a dance, it will all come back to you like you never left. Don't even worry about that!

    Best of luck, I hope it goes great for you. Xxoo

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    Default Re: Out of Retirement

    My relevant advice to you I learned the hard way when I came out of retirement-

    1) Be good friends with the GM or owner of the club because A LOT of workers at strip clubs will act predatory or hateful towards you if you have an aloof vibe. With your day job you don't need people making problems in your life.

    2) IF you use social media to promote your stripping job, keep it totally apart from your personal life social media. (Like, just use Instagram for stripper promotion.) Facebook unfortunately is really bad about mining info to give out information you might not want to share.

    3) Beware predatory customers. As it stands now if a "Regular In Love" gets too motivated to be part of your (very successful) life, you might have a stalker issue. & Frankly male gold diggers are common now. Watch who you associate with.....I've had several people lash out against me or people in my life because of bar business issues (keyed cars, malicious gossip, stalking issues, grudges that turn into workplace feuds.) My favorite saying about the bar business is "Bars are where people with problems go to get into more problems."

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