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Thread: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

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    Sad Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    So I am a mother/stepmother. One of my children I have been in custody battle after custody battle for time and time again. Being a cam model helps our income a lot, and I enjoy it as well. I dont want to quit doing it if I dont have to. But I am often afraid that being a cam model will allow my "X" to gain full custody. I never cam when we have my son, and the only cam time I get is when all the kids that are over 1 year of age are home. I know that my son knows nothing about what I do. Also my stepkids. But my "X" and his wife will use anything they can. So does anyone think that they could actually get full custody of my son if I am in the adult entertainment industry?

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    You'd have to ask a lawyer for the most accurate info.

    It's legal and if you're responsible in other areas then I don't see why you couldn't keep custody.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    I have joint custody and have worked in the adult entertainment field for years. I don't think that your ex will find out that you are working as a webcam model unless you tell him. My situation was different because I only cammed on the days when my child was not at my home. I never wanted to risk her catching me doing that. When it's my time with her I devote myself entirely to her, to avoid any issues. All other days I cam, phone sex, and whatever else so that I can afford to take that time off. Unfortunately I cannot tell you 100% that your ex could not use it against you if he did find out.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by WendiStarr View Post
    I have joint custody and have worked in the adult entertainment field for years. I don't think that your ex will find out that you are working as a webcam model unless you tell him. My situation was different because I only cammed on the days when my child was not at my home. I never wanted to risk her catching me doing that. When it's my time with her I devote myself entirely to her, to avoid any issues. All other days I cam, phone sex, and whatever else so that I can afford to take that time off. Unfortunately I cannot tell you 100% that your ex could not use it against you if he did find out.
    I only cam when my kid is not home as well. I dont know if he really has anything?

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    In my custody case, one of the first questions asked of me was what my job was and if it supported me substantially. In the state my case was in a judge is legally required to evaluate both parents' ability to financially provide for the child. And lying in court was not an option for me. Neither was being shady and vague. So I told the judge what I do for a living. He did not care at all besides being really irritated with how I carried myself. I should have prepared more and researched more. I didn't think the judge would ask me what I did for a living, but he legally HAD to so that was silly of me to think. I also presented my job to the judge in a defensive way, as if he were inherently going to see me negatively for it.

    If I could go back, I would have provided all of my information regarding what hours I worked, and what my income is. I would have been much more vague about what I did for a living without lying or misleading. I would have said "I provide entertainment online from home" as opposed to "I know he's (my ex) going to use this against me anyways but yes I am a cam model!" lol God I was such a wreck in court. The judge looked at me as if I had thrown a dirty tampon at my ex after that outburst. If the judge asked more I could have provided more but I am 100% sure it could have been left at "online entertainment" and I could have maintained some dignity.

    tl;dr

    Find out what judges in your state are legally required to consider when issuing custody orders, and get some guidance from legal aid on how to present what you do for a living if, in fact, your judge will be required to ask such of you. Do not be defensive and practice how you'll speak about your job in court long before you enter a court room.
    "Well then it's a good thing your faith in me has no impact on how much I make." - MissEgo

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    I feel for you. I really truly do. I would probably be in prison if someone tried to take my child away.
    I've worked many jobs in the adult industry and recently decided to start camming again (without showing my full face) and it's working out ok so far.
    In the past, I showed my face. I didn't think anything of it because i desperately needed the money back then (and I regret it till this day).
    I couldn't do that shit now due to my professional aspirations and my role as mommy.

    I understand being proud of what you do and wanting to tell the whole world.
    It's just that telling the whole world has consequences. Every action has a reaction.
    I couldn't tell anyone let alone a damn custody judge what I did for a living.
    You really gain nothing from sharing this world with people that aren't in the know unless
    you want to attract negative attention and be looked at like you're insane. People won't know
    what you don't tell them. And if you've already told them, you just have to deal with the reaction and keep it moving.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    I feel for you. I really truly do. I would probably be in prison if someone tried to take my child away.
    I've worked many jobs in the adult industry and recently decided to start camming again (without showing my full face) and it's working out ok so far.
    In the past, I showed my face. I didn't think anything of it because i desperately needed the money back then (and I regret it till this day).
    I couldn't do that shit now due to my professional aspirations and my role as mommy.

    I understand being proud of what you do and wanting to tell the whole world.
    It's just that telling the whole world has consequences. Every action has a reaction.
    I couldn't tell anyone let alone a damn custody judge what I did for a living.
    You really gain nothing from sharing this world with people that aren't in the know unless
    you want to attract negative attention and be looked at like you're insane. People won't know
    what you don't tell them. And if you've already told them, you just have to deal with the reaction and keep it moving.
    I will repeat because this is EXTREMELY important.

    Some states REQUIRE judges to ask about employment information.

    If you're going to take the advice to not tell a custody judge what you do for a living, make sure that doesn't put you in a position where you're held in contempt and then forevermore considered an unreliable witness in your own damn custody case.
    "Well then it's a good thing your faith in me has no impact on how much I make." - MissEgo

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Drearea-That is great advice! Thank you. I have gone over in my head over and over how I will word it if and when it comes up.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    fbs- I havent told anyone. I just know it will probably be public one day and Im trying to prepare especially with my custody stuff.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    wendistarr- I just know that once something is out there that is rety much it. Im not ashamed of what I do. I just dont want to see my vengeful ex use it and end up getting full custody

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    You could even hire someone to find out info about him. I seriously doubt his life is squeaky clean. If he's going to point the finger at you might as well turn it around back on him.

    Are you two beyond the point of trying to come to some mutual agreement because you both could go to a mediator instead of going into a court room.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    You could even hire someone to find out info about him. I seriously doubt his life is squeaky clean. If he's going to point the finger at you might as well turn it around back on him.

    Are you two beyond the point of trying to come to some mutual agreement because you both could go to a mediator instead of going into a court room.
    Oh man you dont even know lol. Its been six years. I mean we have tried a lot but he just wants me out of the picture and to have his wife as my sons mother. Its really that simple. He goes for the kill everytime we talk. Iv seen him get red in the face and agitated when he has nothing mean to say to me or when our son gives me attention in front of him. Its sad really.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by drearea View Post
    I will repeat because this is EXTREMELY important.

    Some states REQUIRE judges to ask about employment information.

    If you're going to take the advice to not tell a custody judge what you do for a living, make sure that doesn't put you in a position where you're held in contempt and then forevermore considered an unreliable witness in your own damn custody case.
    Drea, you do not have to tell the courts shit. They do not need to know that you are a sex worker. A lot of my friends have gone through the same thing and I don't know one that disclosed this information. When children are involved one must have a cover. It's really just that simple. I'm not trying to give you a hard time because you did what you felt you needed to do at the time but i'm just writing this to let the OP know that she does not need to expose herself.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    But if you lie to the courts isn't that like perjury or something?? J.w
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    But if you lie to the courts isn't that like perjury or something?? J.w
    Omitting is not lying and it's very easy to get away with when you have multiple sources of income.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    There's a difference between what do you do for work and are you an adult model? Learn how the courts work. If you can afford it, hire a lawyer and they'll tell you the same thing. Incriminating yourself would be the dumbest thing you could possibly do. Don't lie, omit.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    But if you lie to the courts isn't that like perjury or something?? J.w
    I would never llie to the court. I dont plan to let me make that clear. My ex cant use it against me if he doesnt know is the thing. I have done some research and in most cases he cant take my kids because of what I do. I was never intending on lying. Just wondered if anyone ha had simiar issues with custody abd camming. And if anyone had advice?

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    There's a difference between what do you do for work and are you an adult model? Learn how the courts work. If you can afford it, hire a lawyer and they'll tell you the same thing. Incriminating yourself would be the dumbest thing you could possibly do. Don't lie, omit.
    I am a cam model but most of the money made in our household is by my husband.

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Are there any photos of you on the internet related to cam modeling? Do you think it would be possible for you wear a wig and anything else that can make you less recognizable when you're camming?

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by Coconutkisses26 View Post
    I would never llie to the court. I dont plan to let me make that clear. My ex cant use it against me if he doesnt know is the thing. I have done some research and in most cases he cant take my kids because of what I do. I was never intending on lying. Just wondered if anyone ha had simiar issues with custody abd camming. And if anyone had advice?
    I wasn't saying you would or anything, my question was just general because the subject came up, because don't they ask
    What you do for a living and how much you make , so they can make sure you can financially support your kid and work out child support issues?
    they can't take awake custody based on a legal job, but my personal experience has been hope and pray for the right judge cause they can really fuck things up if they get a grudge against you
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    Quote Originally Posted by fbsmgirl View Post
    Drea, you do not have to tell the courts shit. They do not need to know that you are a sex worker. A lot of my friends have gone through the same thing and I don't know one that disclosed this information. When children are involved one must have a cover. It's really just that simple. I'm not trying to give you a hard time because you did what you felt you needed to do at the time but i'm just writing this to let the OP know that she does not need to expose herself.

    Giving bad advice that makes you feel good doesn't make you a good person, it makes you someone who gives bad advice that wants to be a good person.

    In some states the courts are REQUIRED to know how BOTH parents support the child. Stop giving shit advice that can lead a parent to be seen as an unreliable witness in their own custody cases. Do you want to help or do you want to be right? Because you're not helping but for some weird reason you sure do feel right??
    "Well then it's a good thing your faith in me has no impact on how much I make." - MissEgo

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    Default Re: Keeping your cam model job private while in a split custody sitation?

    im in a similiar situation . gearing up to go back to court for my son (money is an issue) i dont think they can take someones kid away just bc they work in the adult industry. theres plenty of strippers out there that have custody of their kids and depending in what state you live in, one cannot get full custody unless there is a serious reason as to why the other parent shouldnt be allowed custody such as abuse of some kind. save some money, get a good lawyer . That's what i'm working towards.

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