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Thread: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

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    Default Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    I have been a long-time lurker and a first-time poster. As a female customer, I was hoping some of the dancers or other female customer's can give me some advice. I have read a lot of the posts on here so I think I understand the dynamics a little better, but I am still have some questions that I would help me when I go to the strip club.

    As far as background, I only started going to strip clubs about a year an a half ago. I work for an ad agency and every Friday a group of us would go out, usually it would be to see a band that one of guys at work is in, but one time we decided to go to a strip club. It was my first time and I wasn't sure I would like it, but just watching the girls onstage, the confidence they exuded, the overall atmosphere, I found myself loving it. I stared watching the girls giving dances to guys around the bar and I really started wanting to get one, but I was way too nervous to approach any of the girls. So I was hoping a girl would come up to our group, but we had a mixed ground of guys and girls and it was like they avoided us. A couple of the guys ended up getting private dances, but they had to approach the girls on stage and asked them for one. No one ever came over to us.

    After we left I was clamoring to go back, I tried to drop subtle hints to my group of friends at work, but no one really bit. It was like a one time thing and we went back to our routine of going to see the bands. Eventually I ended up finding guys to go with me, usually just friends, I even got to know the bartender and he would even get me in when I was unescorted, so I have been spending more time at the club now. However, I am still frustrated with the lack of dancers coming up to me. I mean I feel like an attractive, non threatening looking woman. I am 26, I have a decent job and am not crazy, but it seems the girls mostly avoid me.

    At first I thought maybe coming from work I was dressed too conservatively, so I started to dress skimpier. That didn't have much of an affect either, except for getting more looks and getting hit on by the guys at the club. I even thought that maybe the dancers think that I don't have the money to spend, so I started going to the club with my most expensive purse, shoes, and jewelry to show them I did have money. That had minimal affect too. In my everyday life I don't lack confidence, but when I am at the club I never have enough confidence to approach any of the women. I always feel (especially after reading some of the comments on here) that if they don't approach me they don't want me there. The only girl that really approached me was this young new girl, she looked to be 19, and didn't stop talking. She was cute but not my type, I preferred the more established confident dancers.

    So my question is what am I doing wrong? What could I do differently? What should I wear to get the dancers attention. Should I dress more like a hoochie mama? I am not afraid to spend money, it just seems I don't get the chance.

    Any advice would be appreciated.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Unfortunately there can be a lot of stigma against female customers hence why you are having trouble. You might be a great customer, but there are many who think because they are women they can get away with being handsy or cheap or goofy. Some are also secretly (or outwardly) resentful if they are with their SO's. I would tip the girls well on stage and let them know you would like a dance. You said you are shy but you are going to have to be more upfront than the guys otherwise you won't be approached as much. Just show the girls you are friendly and respectful, and be sure and tip well. Basically you have to be more assertive.

    Also, don't worry so much about how you are dressing the girls don't really care.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Frankly, many dancers will avoid you because how many female customers behaved. However, if you just tip, be more friendly, be assertive, and respectful....than dancers will like that. Yeah, dancers do not care about how you dress....just tip well and be well behaved

    Quote Originally Posted by Tonya_Custy View Post
    I have been a long-time lurker and a first-time poster. As a female customer, I was hoping some of the dancers or other female customer's can give me some advice. I have read a lot of the posts on here so I think I understand the dynamics a little better, but I am still have some questions that I would help me when I go to the strip club.

    As far as background, I only started going to strip clubs about a year an a half ago. I work for an ad agency and every Friday a group of us would go out, usually it would be to see a band that one of guys at work is in, but one time we decided to go to a strip club. It was my first time and I wasn't sure I would like it, but just watching the girls onstage, the confidence they exuded, the overall atmosphere, I found myself loving it. I stared watching the girls giving dances to guys around the bar and I really started wanting to get one, but I was way too nervous to approach any of the girls. So I was hoping a girl would come up to our group, but we had a mixed ground of guys and girls and it was like they avoided us. A couple of the guys ended up getting private dances, but they had to approach the girls on stage and asked them for one. No one ever came over to us.

    After we left I was clamoring to go back, I tried to drop subtle hints to my group of friends at work, but no one really bit. It was like a one time thing and we went back to our routine of going to see the bands. Eventually I ended up finding guys to go with me, usually just friends, I even got to know the bartender and he would even get me in when I was unescorted, so I have been spending more time at the club now. However, I am still frustrated with the lack of dancers coming up to me. I mean I feel like an attractive, non threatening looking woman. I am 26, I have a decent job and am not crazy, but it seems the girls mostly avoid me.

    At first I thought maybe coming from work I was dressed too conservatively, so I started to dress skimpier. That didn't have much of an affect either, except for getting more looks and getting hit on by the guys at the club. I even thought that maybe the dancers think that I don't have the money to spend, so I started going to the club with my most expensive purse, shoes, and jewelry to show them I did have money. That had minimal affect too. In my everyday life I don't lack confidence, but when I am at the club I never have enough confidence to approach any of the women. I always feel (especially after reading some of the comments on here) that if they don't approach me they don't want me there. The only girl that really approached me was this young new girl, she looked to be 19, and didn't stop talking. She was cute but not my type, I preferred the more established confident dancers.

    So my question is what am I doing wrong? What could I do differently? What should I wear to get the dancers attention. Should I dress more like a hoochie mama? I am not afraid to spend money, it just seems I don't get the chance.

    Any advice would be appreciated.
    Wolves may lurk in every guise / Now as then, 'tis simple truth / Sweetest tongue has sharpest tooth.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Thanks for the advise RyanXO.

    I usually don't sit near the stage and have reluctant to go to the stage to tip them. That is something I could try. What would be a good tip on stage? I am guessing a $1 is standard, but say I really liked a girl and was hoping to get a dance from her. Would like a $10 or $20 catch a girls attention and let her know I am willing to spend money? I always feel that they think I might not be wiling to spend like the guys and as a result they don't want to waste their time.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    It doesn't matter what you wear, really. I, like many other dancers, avoid female customers because a) they can get catty and nasty if they are with their boyfriends, and b) they think being a female entitles them to touch me. Nope, not at all. I don't like strange men touching me , and women touching me is even worse.

    Approach the stage and smile. Toss 10-20 dollars, tell the dancer she is beautiful, and you'd like a dance. Then during the dance, relax and keep your hands down.

    I've gone to clubs with my ex, and when it came time to tipping the girls, I'd tell them that I'm a dancer too. Seems like as soon as I told them I too was a dancer, they'd be more relaxed around me because I 'got it".
    I'd ask for a dance for me and my guy. During the dance I'd tell her how hot she is, how does she get her butt to look so perfect, etc. Then I'd tell my ex to give her a huge tip. And of course I'd keep my hands to myself.

    The only time I've felt comfy dancing for other women is when they'd tell me that they are a dancer, too. Then it's actually a lot of fun.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    I appreciate all the advice ladies. And it is all pretty consistent. I knew there was a better way to approach things, and I have to get over my basic nature which is to get approached rather than to approach myself. I think it goes back to how I would deal with a guy, I would always wait for him to approach me. But that obviously doesn't work in a strip club environment.

    Also, how much does the preconception that a woman customer won't spend money factor in? I mean I am not a big baller like some of the guys that comes in and drop a couple of thousand. But when I go to the club, I always bring $500 (and I think the most I have ever spent was about $200) with me and of course I can use the ATM if I needed more. What would I need to spend on a girl to be considered a good customer, rather than a cheap one.
    Last edited by Tonya_Custy; 02-09-2017 at 12:10 PM.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    . I think it goes back to how I would deal with a guy, I would always wait for him to approach me. But that obviously doesn't work in a strip club environment.
    This is why I respect the ladies here, they know the failure rate of a first approach. It is a bit of a intellectual bonding that I think they can relate to. As a guy I approach anyone I am interested in real life, so a strip club is way way too easy, the only hard part is keeping my seat. That said I wish I could get a sign that said "don't approach me I will approach you" I hate saying no.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Honestly dress like a lesbian & bring a male friend. Act like you're looking for someone to hook you up with the "afterparty" or other connections. Most strippers assume female customers are there to cause trouble, or are very aggressive bull dykes. In my mind a dyke is better company than some horrible sorority girl who wants to grab my tit because she thinks I'm subhuman.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Honestly dress like a lesbian & bring a male friend. Act like you're looking for someone to hook you up with the "afterparty" or other connections. Most strippers assume female customers are there to cause trouble, or are very aggressive bull dykes. In my mind a dyke is better company than some horrible sorority girl who wants to grab my tit because she thinks I'm subhuman.
    I think dressing like a lesbian would be hard for me (at least how I think one looks lol) I like fashion and have a lot of feminine clothes. I do prefer going with a male friend over a female friend (don't need her to judge me) or my boyfriend (turns into being more about his fantasy than what I want).

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Looking like a lesbian isn't the worst thing in the world. A lot of dancers are lesbian.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    Looking like a lesbian isn't the worst thing in the world. A lot of dancers are lesbian.
    Not saying it is lol. But I have long hair and like to wear nice heels and cute clothes. I obviously am not competing with the dancers, because I am there for them, but at the same time I would feel more comfortable if I felt I was put together and looked cute myself.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    I just got back from the club and omg all of the advice I got was spot on. For the first time I was more assertive and built up enough confidence to approach the dancers. There was this one that I have been interested in, beautiful woman, with the type of figure I like. I waited for her to get on stage and then I went over and tipped her $20. I told her how beautiful she was and asked when she got off stage if she could come by my table. She told me she would and came over immediately. She was nice but I could sense she was still a little standoffish especially since I was alone (I was able to get in because I knew the bartender and he vouched for me), so I bought her a drink and we chatted a little. She asked me what I do for living, I told her, and she asked if I made good money doing that. Not sure if she was profiling me or not, to see if I made money, but I was honest and told her I made a good salary.

    I then asked her for a VIP dance and we headed up to the VIP room. Remembering what I read on here, I put my hands to my side and even sat on my hands at the start of the dance, to show her that I am not one of those handsy women. She proceeded to give me an amazing dance, putting her lady bits tantalizing close to my face only to pull them away. I was spellbound the whole time and ended up getting 4 dances.

    I bought her another drink when we went back to our table and we talked a bit more. The topic of woman customers came up and she did say they tended to be "entitled" and "obnoxious". I told her I hope I am not like that and she said that no I was behaving like a lady and was respectful. After that things got lighthearted and we stared talking about how much razors cost and how we both feel like we are getting robbed when we buy them lol. Glad I wasn't the only one feeling that way. We were talking for a while so I was conscious to like give her a $20 from time to time so she knew I respected her time.

    I went through the money I brought and she did leave to dance for other customers. But I went and got more money from the ATM and when she was on stage I tipped her again and asked I she could come back. She told me she promised another customer dances. So I went back to my table and after a few minutes I got approached by this other girl. I still had some money to spend so I did get a dance from her, and by that time it was getting late and time to leave.

    I wanted to say bye to the first dancer, but I didn't get the chance. Overall a great night, just hope the first dancer didn't get upset that I got a dance from the other dancer. Because I was spending the entire time with the first dancer, I was wondering if I would be considered her customer at that point?

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    Thumbs up Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tonya_Custy View Post
    I just got back from the club and omg all of the advice I got was spot on. ...

    I went through the money I brought and she did leave to dance for other customers. But I went and got more money from the ATM and when she was on stage I tipped her again and asked I she could come back. She told me she promised another customer dances. So I went back to my table and after a few minutes I got approached by this other girl. I still had some money to spend so I did get a dance from her, and by that time it was getting late and time to leave.

    I wanted to say bye to the first dancer, but I didn't get the chance. Overall a great night, just hope the first dancer didn't get upset that I got a dance from the other dancer. Because I was spending the entire time with the first dancer, I was wondering if I would be considered her customer at that point?

    Congrats on employing the advice offered and a successful visit. You will find that success breeds success. In other words Dancer #1 is quite likely to approach you next time as soon as she is free. And it's also likely that Dancer #2 saw you with Dancer #1 and it served as a "reference" - worthwhile for Dancer #2 to approach. So it wouldn't be surprising if you get more and more attention each trip as long as you're respectful and tip well.

    Regarding being Dancer #1's customer. Not really. She moved on. No reason you can't either. We, as customers, are there to play the field - at least most of us are.
    Last edited by 59; 02-11-2017 at 07:27 AM. Reason: typo

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    "Overall a great night, just hope the first dancer didn't get upset that I got a dance from the other dancer. "

    Get this out of your head immediately. She is not there to entertain only you and you don't need to be there to spend only on her. Any variation of this type of thinking will only lead to possessive feelings from either side and ruin your fun.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tonya_Custy View Post
    I could sense she was still a little standoffish especially since I was alone (I was able to get in because I knew the bartender and he vouched for me)
    I was going to suggest you try going alone, so I am now confused as to why that wouldn't be allowed?

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by BobbleHead View Post
    "Overall a great night, just hope the first dancer didn't get upset that I got a dance from the other dancer. "

    Get this out of your head immediately. She is not there to entertain only you and you don't need to be there to spend only on her. Any variation of this type of thinking will only lead to possessive feelings from either side and ruin your fun.
    Didn't mean it to sound possessive. I guess I have read too many posts on here from dancers that complain about other dancers taking their customers. I didn't mean to imply she should have only been dancing for me.

    it was a great night and I hope there are more women like me, instead of the catty women customers that want to ruin it for all of us. I think if more women customers checked their egos st the door it would be better for everyone. Most women think "I have a vagina too and my vagina is as good as the strippers". No it isn't sweety, there is a reason they are strippers and we aren't. So let's keep that in mind and give them the respect they deserve.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tonya_Custy View Post
    Didn't mean it to sound possessive. I guess I have read too many posts on here from dancers that complain about other dancers taking their customers. I didn't mean to imply she should have only been dancing for me...

    Not a dancer but I believe the "complaints" of taking customers (aka stealing) fall into two categories, neither of which applied in your situation.


    1. Dancer has a long time regular, all the dancers there know it, yet Dancer #2 attempts to get a piece of the Customer's action.
    2. Dancer is with the Customer and excuses herself for a brief visit to the rest room, dressing room, DJ, etc. Dancer #2 swoops in during the absence.



    Don't overthink it. Enjoy the fantasy. Play the field.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Just want to add that now that other girls have seen you get dances you will get approached more!

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by CoinOperatedGirl View Post
    Just want to add that now that other girls have seen you get dances you will get approached more!
    I hope so. Also, I did just enjoy talking to the stripper. So what is the proper etiquette as far as tipping a stripper if we are just talking? Like I said I was giving get $20s from time to time, cause she was spending time with me at my table. Is that the proper way to do it? Or do I tip at one time at the end? And is a few $20s from time to time considered a good tip in that situation?

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    You did good, op. You did good.

    See? Everyone take note...if we're all respectful, then we all have fun!

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by LoveyDovey View Post
    You did good, op. You did good.

    See? Everyone take note...if we're all respectful, then we all have fun!
    That's the name of the game
    Where Am I? Missing NYC

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    I dont understand the stigma behind female customers. I was confused when I first started going because I saw girls giving guys lapdances but was unsure how to get one, and too nervous to ask these intimidatingly beautiful women. Why arent Strippers approaching women? I would assume we value your time more $$

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Because the minimal amount of money we usually get from the uterine sector isn't worth the excess bullshit that they come with.
    "Fake tits are like Kevlar. They don't guarantee your chances of survival but they sure as hell improve it."
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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Quote Originally Posted by cricketbethany View Post
    I dont understand the stigma behind female customers. I was confused when I first started going because I saw girls giving guys lapdances but was unsure how to get one, and too nervous to ask these intimidatingly beautiful women. Why arent Strippers approaching women? I would assume we value your time more $$
    Because most of the time female customers think because they're female they can do whatever they want to us. A lot of the time female customers are creepier than the male customers. And honestly it's just not comfortable for me anyway to dance on a woman. They're too small so it can be awkward cause I feel like I'm crushing them lol.

    If you want a lap dance then tip a girl when she's on stage (a decent amount) and tell her you want a dance when she's done.

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    Default Re: Any Advice for a Female Customer?

    Cricketbethany- When you say you assume women value the dancer's time more, you would be so surprised! While I have encountered many awesome female customers, I have dealt with such an unbelievable ratio of terrible female customers to the small amount of good ones. Even the best female customers just don't part with money the way that males will- that part of their brain doesn't seem to click off in the club. Often times a female customer will seem awesome and reassure you that you will be"well compensated" for your time with them and then tip you like $6 while raving about how amazing you've been. "I completely value your time and I would love to spend some time getting to know you before getting a dance. I totally understand this is your work and I will make sure you get paid a ton for your time here to make it worth your while." And I think they genuinely think $6 for twenty minutes is great because theoretically that could mean $18 an hour, but I'm not taking my clothes off and dealing with bs to make the same per hour that I made working my hospital job lmao.

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