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Thread: I feel like it's too late

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    Default I feel like it's too late

    Really feeling depressed lately as I'm nearing 30 and feel like it's "too late" to pursue and explore my interests and dreams. I don't feel 29!! I feel like so many years were taken away from me or just slipped quietly by while my life stood still like time stopped. Idk what I'm worried about , I'm not worried at all about looking older cause I don't and I know in my mind that 30 is young but I feel panicky and defeated. And it has to do with my age more than anything.
    I wasn't raised in the "pursue your dreams" mindset. It was , "make a living and do what you gotta do to take care of yourself and who cares if you enjoy it, suck it up cupcake" mentality. So that's what I did.
    I just wish I could be really good at something. And be somebody. I'm an extremely visual and artistic person but I never got a chance to explore it and now I'm feeling like "what's the point, it's too late, it's going to look pathetic, grow up cause your time has passed".
    Does anybody else feel like that? Just kinda panicky and hopeless? Am I going through a quarter life crisis?
    I had two kids really young so it's not like I can run off to "find myself" but I'd like to finally pursue what I'm good at and DO something with my life. .
    idkmwherento start..anybody have any inspiring stories?
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Yeah. I can relate. The quarter life crisis is very common phenomenon. I woke up one day freaking out of many months because i wasn't where I thought I was "supposed" to be career/family wise.

    And no it's never too late to pursue your dreams. You just have to be willing to have a idgaf attitude when it comes to society's expectations of what people your age are supposed to be doing.

    I've seen stories of 70 year olds going to college all the way to 50 year olds marrying for the first time and having babies.

    There is no time frame on your passions.

    I blame the facebook culture lol as we are constantly comparing ourselves to our peers.
    “Cook for him like a housewife, fuck him good like a nympho….pay the rent and the car note, he invests in me like crypto”


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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Yes I understand. I was raised in a similar type environment. My parents openly mocked and discouraged continuing education because that is time wasted that you could be earning money (yeah, I know.) Even though I was always very studious and intellectual.
    Everyone is different and if you know that just having a workaday existence is not fulfilling to you, begin to make the changes you need to make. 30 is not even close to too late. There are people 40 and 50 feeling the same way. It's only too late when you give up on yourself. Make one small goal and start tomorrow. There are tons of night classes, maybe find one near you. Maybe just take one class at a time.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Whelp. Im 40. Still in the adult biz that I figured was just something to do for a few months for fun when I was 24. By 25 I figured a couple years tops cause I was going to have my life figured out and it was gonna be AWESOME! Id def be married and have another kid (this time as a family!!!) by then. And when I hit 30....Man oh man did I freak out. Depression and everything else you can think of hit me hard.

    But hey, heres the good news! Its a phase..for real. Up til now, I felt like whats the point of going back to school....my daughter will be an adult in college soon so wtf. Also, totally gave up on the marriage and def on the having more kids thing. Like I said, Im 40 now. Super excited to go back to my first love programming..met a client who who happens to be doing my dream job working at a major company, his business partner does not have a degree so he has been asking for info and passing it along to me for a path of exactly what to study and do to get the same job.

    Now that kiddo is in college and will be on her own soon, its like a whole new life is about to open up for me...one Ive never experienced ever in my adult life...being free to do whateverrrr I want! Okay, granted, at this point what I want is for kiddo to be 5 again cause the idea of living without her is crazy talk to me. But at the same time...Im excited. While Ive had my points where I felt so low...omg, all these years waaaasted in the adult industry and struggling and being a single mom and getting noooowhere! BUT....the industry was there for me and saved my ass in ways that would never had been possible if I were doing vanilla work. Plus, it taught me a shit ton about business..the skills Ive gained are immeasurable. Plus, through the years it has put me in front of people who have been an incredible asset to my life. Hell..Im still friends with the very first guy who bought a cam show from me when I was 26. CRAZY RIGHT?!

    My life could have gone a different way..sure maybe down that unknown path was success, romance and riches beyond my wildest dreams. But...I am on the path that I am on, and its not half bad. I totally agree that social media gives us a warped perception of where we should be in life compared to all the status updates we see in our timelines. But I can gaurntee it...behind all that are people who have problems they do not let you see. Stuff that you wouldnt trade places with them in the world to have.

    Soooo yeah..take it from an old broad LOL This too shall pass. Okay, so you grew up being taught to work to survive instead of work to succeed...if you are unhappy with that rule of thought...do something about it. You are totally free to shift your focus from survival mode to success mode. You are totally free to do whatever it takes to get to where you want to be. And kids are awesome for that, because when you are inspired to give them a better life, upbringing and teach them a better way to think, live and work than you were...it really motivates you to do everything you can to teach them those lessons and break the cycle.

    By the way...during an incredibly low moment of my life..right when kiddo started college a couple years ago (and 40 was loooming ahead of me UGH) she excitedly showed me her first report she did for her English class..where they had to write a paper on someone who was inspirational and made a difference in the world. She gave it to me to read and be damned..she wrote her paper on me. I was like..uh..didnt they mean to write it about someone famous who...actually made a difference in the world? And she looked at me like Id lost it and told me to just read it. She cited things I had done, people Id helped, how she draws inspiration from me to be a better person..and how theres no one more important to make a difference in the world and investing in the world than a good parent like me.

    And you know what? I kinda had a moment of...well damn, when you put it that way, I guess I did do something with my life after all. Perspective is everything. So yeah...dont look at what you havnt done by 30..look at what you have..and all the awesome things you can do between now and 40...Im looking ahead to what I want to achieve by the time Im 50. And quite frankly.....I feel pretty good about whats ahead.

    You'll be alright..trust me!
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!


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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Yup!!!!! I have an tale of bouncing back from disaster.

    At age 30 I had- recovered from a serious illness that set me back a few years, had survived a major car accident that should have killed me (due to dumb luck it did not) & at 30 I was in the middle of my prime as a dancer. I made a lot of money, helped a lot of people & formed the foundation for a beautiful future.

    I'm hurrying to catch up on things I should have done in my mid-20s. Every day I wake up with those things on my mind.

    What motivates me is- the philosophy of Satanism, the teachings of Jane (the lady who channeled the being "Rubert/Set"...I can't recall her last name right now) and frankly I know I have less time to do things than I did before. Death never sleeps and has taken down better people than me. THAT is the fire under my azz.

    I know having kids complicates things. Raise them to be as independent as possible. (One of my friends was already enrolled in college courses by the time he was 15. His dad wanted him ahead of the curve for the benefit of them both.) Once they are self-sufficient you will have more time to yourself.
    Last edited by SnuffleUffleGrass; 02-11-2017 at 07:11 PM.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Thanks guys! I probably won't make it back to school, I just mean maybe taking a few classes and just devoting personal time to things I may be good at or investing time learning/ teaching myself.

    yeah I think you're right that social media plays a part..esp IG and Tumblr. I see these girls my age and younger who are these talented hair stylists/photographers/artists/models/whatever who have these cool "niches" and all this talent with thousands of followers and I feel like a pathetic nobody w no direction lol.
    I actually do love working in the adult industry still ,although being married has kind of put a stop to the escorting part, but I guess I am good at SOMETHING haha. And I'm certainly at a better place than I was in my early 20s!
    Thanks for giving me some perspective guys
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    girl i am right there with you. im 27 and i feel like the last 7 years were stolen from me. i got married right when i turned 18 was divorced 6 and a half years later and hear i am now building a family and i feel like im stuck. i feel poor . i hate it. ugh. i feel like i'll never wake up one day and be like "i finally did it" so youre not alone

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    Really feeling depressed lately as I'm nearing 30 and feel like it's "too late" to pursue and explore my interests and dreams. I don't feel 29!! I feel like so many years were taken away from me or just slipped quietly by while my life stood still like time stopped. Idk what I'm worried about , I'm not worried at all about looking older cause I don't and I know in my mind that 30 is young but I feel panicky and defeated. And it has to do with my age more than anything.
    I wasn't raised in the "pursue your dreams" mindset. It was , "make a living and do what you gotta do to take care of yourself and who cares if you enjoy it, suck it up cupcake" mentality. So that's what I did.
    I just wish I could be really good at something. And be somebody. I'm an extremely visual and artistic person but I never got a chance to explore it and now I'm feeling like "what's the point, it's too late, it's going to look pathetic, grow up cause your time has passed".
    Does anybody else feel like that? Just kinda panicky and hopeless? Am I going through a quarter life crisis?
    I had two kids really young so it's not like I can run off to "find myself" but I'd like to finally pursue what I'm good at and DO something with my life. .
    idkmwherento start..anybody have any inspiring stories?
    Noooo! It's never too late! I am 43 and still pursuing my dream of being an actress/screenwriter. Done some acting, so that was cool, and I'm still working on my script. Yes I am chasing my dreams. I know I was born to do this. My son is now 15, he's older, so now is the time. In fact, I can sense that this is the year when I'm finally going to make it. I still look young enough to play someone 10 years younger, bc I took care of myself.

    Please don't let age deter you. I was raised with that same mindset, but I said fuck that! Why settle? I'm only going to live this life once! Over the last ten-15 years, I raised a son as a single mom, put myself through acting school, danced, got several roles on Tv and film, and am damn near done writing a script which I'm gonna sell and have produced, and at 43, I feel better physically than I did 5 years ago. I'm on the brink of success, I just have a little more to go before I break through.

    Screw what society says! If I did everything that was expected of me, I'd be a miserable bitch. Do you and screw the haters. There is no expiration date on achieving your dreams.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Well... I do know of a way to reverse time and age....

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Quote Originally Posted by Genoveve View Post
    Jane Roberts and Seth?
    Yes!!! I have read up on her & I feel that a lot of her teachings are things she learned processed through her filter. BUT the material is very helpful & reminds me of a lot of ideas that many human civilizations have already used to guide in life.

    Another thing that helps me when I panic over progress in life or have depression is- I try to lucid dream. I have a unfocused mind sometimes so when I dream, a lot of ideas are in perfect focus because they become my "personal movie".....The negative thoughts that can intrude on a daydream are not there.

    Also when I lucid dream or have enlightening dreams, I often have memories come back to me that I have't thought of in decades. Just random things...but it helps me re-claim my past.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    Really feeling depressed lately as I'm nearing 30 and feel like it's "too late" to pursue and explore my interests and dreams. I don't feel 29!! I feel like so many years were taken away from me or just slipped quietly by while my life stood still like time stopped. Idk what I'm worried about , I'm not worried at all about looking older cause I don't and I know in my mind that 30 is young but I feel panicky and defeated. And it has to do with my age more than anything.
    I wasn't raised in the "pursue your dreams" mindset. It was , "make a living and do what you gotta do to take care of yourself and who cares if you enjoy it, suck it up cupcake" mentality. So that's what I did.
    I just wish I could be really good at something. And be somebody. I'm an extremely visual and artistic person but I never got a chance to explore it and now I'm feeling like "what's the point, it's too late, it's going to look pathetic, grow up cause your time has passed".
    Does anybody else feel like that? Just kinda panicky and hopeless? Am I going through a quarter life crisis?
    I had two kids really young so it's not like I can run off to "find myself" but I'd like to finally pursue what I'm good at and DO something with my life. .
    idkmwherento start..anybody have any inspiring stories?

    As long as you're alive it's never too late
    . I had three friends that are all gone now and none of them made it to 30. One is buried in her prom dress as she died unexpectedly before her high school graduation, other friend of mine was murdered months after she finished nursing school at the age of 21 and my best friend was killed in a motorcycle accident at the age of 27.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Don't stop believing, hey, Cher could had call it quits back in the 90s, and especially say... "well I might as well retired because I'm not putting out any hits, and the market is all about Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera and teenage boybands"... No, she did not do that!

    No... she released the biggest hit of her career around 53 (she's been around since the 60s... so having her biggest hit 30-some, almost 40, years later... that's shocking), making her the oldest woman *to this date* to have a number one song. It was the underground anthem song of the nostoglia late 90s, and she's just as relevant as Britney Spears singing "Hit me baby one more time".

    She was literally one of the voices of the youth in the late 90s at the moment in time. How does a 50-something remain relevant with teenage-college culture?


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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    It's not too late. You're so young! I mean, we're about the same age, and I'm not ready to admit that I'm an old timer just yet...

    I'm 28, and most of my 20's were spent dealing with crippling anxiety. I stripped for a couple years, went through some shitty relationships that really messed me up... alcoholism, attempted suicide, an eating disorder... and I only really got out of it recently. I ended a 5 year relationship last year, and I felt like my life had gone down the toilet. I would cry/have panic attacks/take way too much anxiety medication. In my 20's, I did everything I was "supposed" to do... I had a master's degree and a respectable job for a couple of years, so my resume looked alright... but I basically had a nervous breakdown in December 2016, and I had to leave my job, move out of my ex-bf's house to my family's place in the middle of nowhere, and start my life over again. It wasn't private... all of my coworkers, friends, and family knew I had taken a trip to crazy town. Stripping and camming were the only obvious options, I didn't want to work in my previous field, and I had no idea how to change careers or if it would be possible. I had no direction and, like you, I felt like it was too late to start over.

    I don't have kids, so I probably had more freedom. I wound up living with my mom, working at any entry-level job that would hire me (after the nervous breakdown, I was scared to do anything too strenuous), and after I ended up with a ridiculous hospital bill thanks to no insurance, I eventually caved in to start stripping again. Stripping saved me. I was able to pay off a bunch of debts, and I saved up enough money to go to Europe for a few months, where I got certified to teach English. My plan is to teach, and work on developing a small business with art and writing on the side. I'm going to be teaching abroad full-time now, but in the future, I'd like to lessen it to part-time or only private lessons, and be self-employed in some art related business.

    Since you probably can't make that big of a change, I would recommend looking for other ways to make an income, even if it's something small. Right now is a great time to be a writer or artist, because you can easily reach people with Instagram/Twitter/Facebook/Youtube/the list goes on. Since you said you're artistic, I would try creating stuff you can sell, and learn about marketing. There are also plenty of jobs that don't require a degree, that might satisfy your creative itch... reselling vintage items on ebay, doing graphic or web design, being a makeup artist. Try looking into everything that interests you. It's never too late, and there are no real limits. If you don't want to work for yourself, then fix up your resume and learn how to present yourself with your best qualities. Apply for every job that interests you, even if you think you're not qualified (usually "job requirements" are useless garbage written by the HR department). In today's world, confidence and self-promotion (and in an artist's case, a portfolio) matter more than a degree or experience.

    It sounds like you're used to working hard, and that mindset will help you if you decide to pursue another career. Best of luck to you.
    Last edited by seashell; 02-14-2017 at 07:39 AM.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Quote Originally Posted by We had a rabbit like you View Post
    Really feeling depressed lately as I'm nearing 30 and feel like it's "too late" to pursue and explore my interests and dreams. I don't feel 29!! I feel like so many years were taken away from me or just slipped quietly by while my life stood still like time stopped. Idk what I'm worried about , I'm not worried at all about looking older cause I don't and I know in my mind that 30 is young but I feel panicky and defeated. And it has to do with my age more than anything.
    I wasn't raised in the "pursue your dreams" mindset. It was , "make a living and do what you gotta do to take care of yourself and who cares if you enjoy it, suck it up cupcake" mentality. So that's what I did.
    I just wish I could be really good at something. And be somebody. I'm an extremely visual and artistic person but I never got a chance to explore it and now I'm feeling like "what's the point, it's too late, it's going to look pathetic, grow up cause your time has passed".
    Does anybody else feel like that? Just kinda panicky and hopeless? Am I going through a quarter life crisis?
    I had two kids really young so it's not like I can run off to "find myself" but I'd like to finally pursue what I'm good at and DO something with my life. .
    idkmwherento start..anybody have any inspiring stories?
    Babe, we are a product of our environment. Most people don't DO anything to change that! We do the best we know how with what we have. I was set up to be a victim by my dysfunctional family. I struggle everyday to break the cycle. It's not about perfection, it's about progress. How are you a better, healthier person than you were 5 years ago? Comparison is the theif of joy. Don't compare your success to other people around you (even though we all do it from time to time). I know I'm 30 something stripper. I often feel like how the fuck to I explain this outsiders.

    I did better than my parents. Even though I don't have a lot of things to show for it. I spent most my adult life re-parenting, going to therapy because of all the abuse and neglect I've been through as a child and young adult. I'm a healthy, good person. I'm not in unhealthy, unsafe relationships and for me that is progress. I'm doing the best with what I was given. Don't give up! Your life isn't over. Your not dead. Take some baby steps. Go back to school. Find another job.

    You know with the recession how many people lost their jobs, 401K, houses! A lot of people our age have had to start over for various reasons (divorce, change in the job market, accidents or illness).Just do the best you can with what you have because that's all you can control anyways!

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    I went through these exact feelings when I hit 30 like woah why am I so behind everyone else? The truth is you're not and it's never too late. I wanted to write and do all these artistic projects but never made the time. Now I'm almost 32 and in the last 2 years I've self published 9 books, taught myself some graphic design, took art classes. A lot of people go through their whole lives never taking time to do the things they want. Just be selfish and start working on those things now! In my art classes there were students in their 70s and 80s who were just exploring their passion and having fun. I think you've just got the 30 existential crisis going on. Believe me it'll pass after a couple months and you'll realize age is just a number. I feel way more confident, happier in my 30s than I did in my 20s. You'll be fine

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Thank,you guys, these stories are really inspiring me!! Yup I'm going to "forget" about the exact number of times the earth has turned since my mother gave birth to me, and enjoy life and still being young!! I look and feel great and I should take this time to enjoy my life and interests.
    I belong to a psychology group in fb where this girl was talking about a guy who was "old, quite old, around 30 years old" and I laughed for about 10 minutes and then realized how ridiculous I was being.
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    ^^ I think we all need to remember (myself included) that all of our lives proceed by their own design. We can't compare ourselves with other because we are all on our own unique journeys.When I had my near death experience 10 years ago I realized that I should make peace with my past because it all made me the strong person I am today. Everything that happens in life happens for a reason. Things happen when they are supposed to. I'm going to become a first-time wife/movie actress in my 40s when people do that when they are way younger, but who gives a shit? It's happening when it is supposed to. It wasn't meant to happen 10 years ago. It's meant to be now. Know what I mean?

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Ray Kroc started McDonald's in his 50s. Colonel Sanders started KFC in his 60s.

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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    I totally have that as a fear and I'm 25 this year. It's so easy to just focus on working at the club, making money, and letting time pass without doing anything else. I mean a year has already passed of me just working at the club and I feel like it flew by! I'm afraid this will keep happening and before I know it I'm in my 30s still in the same spot.

    But I have a dancer friend who's 30 something and I saw on her Instagram she just started graduate school at a really prestigious university! I was shocked and so proud of her. Because when we last spoke she wasn't really sure what she wanted to do and was still dancing. It inspired me a little and made me less afraid of being 30 one day and not having a full blown career going with like a husband and kids or whatever else I thought I needed to have at 30 lol. Plus both my parents didn't finish school till they were in their 30s and my dad has a successful business that he didn't start until his 40s. So maybe it's a little ridiculous to expect so much by 30. Life happens and everyone moves at different paces.
    Last edited by 22lligm; 02-20-2017 at 06:51 AM.

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  35. #20
    Moderator charlie61's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    What makes me feel like a Somebody is having people in my life. Cliché, but true. Friends, partners, family.

    I also recommend watching age-positive TV and movies. Sex and the city, Grace and Frankie, etc. Stay away from anything that's subtly telling you that life is only exciting from ages 16-30.

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  37. #21
    God/dess chanzep's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    I am 35 in a new country adjusting to the vanilla world, trying to go back to school and learn how to drive!, you are not too old to do anything.
    xoxo

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  39. #22
    God/dess Gia2608's Avatar
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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    YOu are clearly not alone in feeling like this. I was on overachiever all my life and am the age now when I thought I would be a millionaire already. I honestly could make a million dollars in a pretty short time from where I am if I focus. Some days are harder than others and I beat myself up because some days I lack motivation and feel like I have been telling myself the same things for years and that I have not achieved them but then I snap out of it.

    Sure, I have had some set backs and taken a pretty non-traditional path, but I have so much and have done so much more than a lot of people my age and still have all the time in the world left to do everything I want to. I just can not take any of my days for granted. I have to get up early and take on each day with gusto. You are only too old to do things when you give up on yourself or just resign that XYZ will never get any better in your life.
    XoXo Gia
    Danielle Fishell (the Dish): "If the Super-Star thing doesn't work out, Gia makes a great stripper name"

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  41. #23
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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Thanks for the support ladies *hugs* it's a struggle to keep reinforcing the idea that I'm not some old crone that life has passed by at age 30..as a woman, it's been drilled into my head by bullshit society for so long. "What are you, 30??" //"nobody over age 30 should ever xyz" etc. yesterday was a hard day mentally cause it's been ten years since I got pregnant with my first son and it's just hit me harder how time went by...I'm so nostalgic and I realized it's because I'm only looking to the past cause I'm not excited by my future and feel like I have none.
    My husband doesn't get it , he says he never felt "older" til he hit 40 but it's different for women in this current world.

    BUT enough with the venting, I'm not giving into this self pitying defeat and I'm gonna keep living life and get off my ass to make some plans! The first one is to start having a social life again because I'm severely isolated with literally zero friends here so I think I'm also conflating getting older with being very lonely and depressed.
    I've done business with men who think I'm as silly as I look; by the time they figure out I'm not, I've done got the money and gone -Dolly Parton

    a motherfukin hustler kamikaze//I used to bus tables but now I sell my body

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  43. #24
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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Keep in mind a lot of younger people don't get to do what they want for themselves because they have family members or spouses who drag them down. I spent my teens & twenties wrangling a disabled parent & an addicted sibling. I was very very angry. The only upshot is I had enough energy at that young age to deal with such bullshit.

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  45. #25
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    Default Re: I feel like it's too late

    Whats worst than getting older is spending the last of your years freaking out that you're getting older.

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