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Thread: Good marriage and dancing

  1. #1
    Member Minxnymph's Avatar
    Jan 2012
    Thanked 72 Times in 25 Posts

    Question Good marriage and dancing

    I've been married to my man for coming up on 6 years now, a decade of best friendship too. He makes ok money, full time employed, we have two vehicles and a strong connection. When I started camming he wasn't 100% down with it, but over the years he has become really supportive with it.
    A couple years ago we moved up here and I got a day job that I really really like. I work about 30 hrs per week there and only make about 12$ per hour. After my day job and hobbies, when I do have time to make content/drive traffic it only really provides an extra 100$ - 150$ a month or so. It ain't bad but 100$ up here is like 25$ anywhere in the lower 48. Cost of living is high. I recently brought up working in a strip club here in town to him on saturday nights, he said he isn't super comfortable with it, but he also said he doesn't want to sound judgey and he understands it is my choice. He's an amazing dude, he treats me very well.
    I honestly want to dance for 2 reasons: a. to afford a school thats going to cost 4k and improve my abilities/pay at my day job. And b. to have extra money for multiple things, vacations, tattoos, getting my hair done etc.
    I hate hate hate asking him for money for "frivolous" things. I also want to save up a nest egg for myself in case (god forbid) anything happened to him. He doesn't sound completely against it, but his reasons for not being comfortable with it tend to skew more towards personal safety. It's a small town literally hours away from any other dancing options and he doesn't want customers to see me in a grocery store an act gross. I don't think he would leave me if I decided to dance but I still want to minimize his discomfort.
    Has anyone had issues seeing custies in town and being weird?
    So does anyone have some ideas for how I can frame it to make him change his perspective a little on it? Should I just be like "I'm not cool being dependent on you and I am making this choice for us to be able to enjoy our lives more"? Or should I ease him into it?

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Sirocco's Avatar
    Jul 2014
    Austin, TX
    Thanked 318 Times in 105 Posts

    Default Re: Good marriage and dancing

    This is a job like any else. I am happily married and still dance. I know many married dancers. But it's probably depends more on your husband personality. My husband is cool about our industry, he is very respectful/trusting/non-controlling and he used to go to a lot to the clubs in the past. Also, my money help our budget tremendously. So why not.

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  5. #3
    Veteran Member buttonpop's Avatar
    Feb 2015
    Thanked 982 Times in 281 Posts

    Default Re: Good marriage and dancing

    You could propose a trial period where you try it out for a few months and then you'll both sit down and have a conversation where you talk about if its working for both of you.

    During the trial period be extra careful not to bring work home with you, vent on stripperweb instead of to him about any negatives and maybe buy him a little gift with some of your additional income to sweeten him to the deal a little more

    I bet once he gets over the initial discomfort, he'll realize its not a big deal at all.
    Do your future self a favor and work hard now.

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  7. #4
    Featured Member LoveyDovey's Avatar
    Sep 2008
    Thanked 4,330 Times in 1,399 Posts

    Default Re: Good marriage and dancing

    Let him know you understand his fears, but maybe make an agreement that you can just try it out. Once you finish with school, then quit. It's very rare to run into regulars and it really is just a job when it comes down to it. And I agree...maybe treat him to a little trip or a couples massage with the extra cash. My ex wasn't okay with me dancing at first, but once we could start affording things like cell phones, etc then he calmed down.

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  9. #5
    Curious Guest
    Apr 2020
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: Good marriage and dancing

    I think that in any case, you need to defend your position, because in a relationship it should be convenient not only for him, but also for you. It's necessary. But, if he decides to leave you, let him go, , turn to a psychologist and live happily ever after!

  10. #6
    Veteran Member
    Jan 2011
    Thanked 479 Times in 178 Posts
    My Mood

    Default Re: Good marriage and dancing

    WHY are you bumping up these dead threads??

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