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Thread: how did he get my email?

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    Senior Member Dot's Avatar
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    Default how did he get my email?

    I had an old regular, well name him Joe, from the strip club that i stopped talking to because I was having an old ex bf move in with me for a bit (stupid idea, i know) once i told him that, he freaked out. we had a small OTC relationship, but once he found out my ex was moving back he was pissed off, and tried talking me out of it. I reminded him i wouldnt start dating my ex again cus of a ton of reasons but we were friends and he wanted to move to my current state (we both lived in PA, i moved west and he wanted to as well so i said come stay with me until you get enough money for your own place). so anyways Joe and I werent dating, and that was clear, he knew i was hanging out with him for some $$$. on the day after my ex moved in, joe and i had a huge argument at the club...i was yelling at him that he was jealous and controlling for no reason, he knows i would never get back with my ex etc etc and he was like well blah blah blah so i ran into the dressing room got changed and went home.

    the next day, my ex and i went to the mall (in his truck, that still had PA plates) to go get my phone number changed and to get a new phone. well once we got out from the mall, i noticed a familiar car parked next to his truck.....yes it was joe's. coincidence? i have no idea....i took a break from stripping after that and then went to a new club. i wound up back in my old club about 2.5 months after the whole fall out with joe,who i havent seen there since. the last contact i had with joe was in august.

    fast forward to today, and i get an email from joe. my email is my last name and first name. I never told joe my email, he didnt know my last name (my last name is polish so its not common and hard to spell correctly) and i dont have any social media accounts they have all been deleted way back in june.

    any advice? any clue how he couldve gotten my email? he just said hey we havent talked in a while i feel bad for how we stopped and asked how ive been. i just said yeah it is what it is but oh well im doing good and thats it. is there anything i can do to protect myself further? this is how all of these crazy stalking stories start and it only gets worse from here. i want to prevent that!! any advice is appreciated

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  3. #2
    God/dess SnuffleUffleGrass's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    He might have used Intelius or a Private Investigator to get your real name back when you had more info on social media.

    I have a similar problem. I'll message you on here about it because I hate dwelling on it.

    At this point a cop would tell you to tell "Joe" politely but firmly that you do not want any more contact from him & if he keeps bothering you will get the police & court system involved.

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    Featured Member Violethollywood's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    Quote Originally Posted by SnuffleUffleGrass View Post
    He might have used Intelius or a Private Investigator to get your real name back when you had more info on social media.

    I have a similar problem. I'll message you on here about it because I hate dwelling on it.

    At this point a cop would tell you to tell "Joe" politely but firmly that you do not want any more contact from him & if he keeps bothering you will get the police & court system involved.
    yeah you can pay sites like intellius etc etc and they will give you a persons full name, address phone number etc. trust me, i know this b/c i did this shit to my ex husband (found a suspect number in his phone that he kept calling ) Gave me that chick's address and everything LMAO so yes joe probably did that you know how people are! They cray cray!

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    Senior Member Dot's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    theres ton of beautiful women at strip clubs, why stalk one that doesnt want you? lol theres more fish in the sea! fish that like you! not me im not your fish! LOL

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    Dot.. because guys like a challenge. And this guy sounds obsessed...

    I wish you hadnt replied to him already..and in such a friendly open door kind of way too. Personally, I would have not responded to the email at all...he had no idea if it really was you or your email until you confirmed it for him. This seems like someone you need to set some firm boundaries and set some distance from. Dont be so pleasant and open to respond to him...cause any contact at all will just give him sparks of hope and a reason to keep coming after you.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    Try doing searches on your name and your stripper name to see what comes up. If you didn't give him your email and he emailed you, you should ask him where he got your email address from.

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    Featured Member lemiwinks31's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    Quote Originally Posted by eagle2 View Post
    Try doing searches on your name and your stripper name to see what comes up. If you didn't give him your email and he emailed you, you should ask him where he got your email address from.
    I think the best bet is to block and or ignore him...zero contact. He will get tired of getting nothing back. Clowns like this crave the attention even if it is negative. If he doesn't give up, you might want to file a police report. Better safe than sorry, you don't know if he is just a loser or dangerous.

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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    I think it's better not to block him, so if he sends anything threatening, you'll have record of it and can report it to law enforcement.

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    God/dess BlkSharpie's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    Exactly..dont block...you need to keep an eye on this one.

    Just dont engage, dont respond. At all. Ever. Any little thing you say, even if its to tell him off, will be just what he needs to keep pursuing you.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Featured Member Ifyouseekamy's Avatar
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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    Quote Originally Posted by Violethollywood View Post
    yeah you can pay sites like intellius etc etc and they will give you a persons full name, address phone number etc. trust me, i know this b/c i did this shit to my ex husband (found a suspect number in his phone that he kept calling ) Gave me that chick's address and everything LMAO so yes joe probably did that you know how people are! They cray cray!
    Yep, did the same for my cheating ex. It's really easy to get info about people online.

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    Default Re: how did he get my email?

    I wonder if Joe might have been silently following your social media accounts for awhile before you deleted them. It is possible he got your last name that way and then from there it wasn't too hard for him to figure out the format for your e-mail address. It is hard to know for certain, sadly there are often little bits of info about us strewn around the internet that a determined stalker can use to track us. Either way I agree with the others that radio silence is the best approach, with no contact from you and with no social media accounts to follow anymore he will probably get bored and go away. If he escalates and starts showing up at places you go in person then it is time to get the police involved, but hopefully it doesn't come to that.

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