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Thread: This might be controversial.

  1. #1
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    Crossfingers This might be controversial.

    I want to become an escort and keep it from my boyfriend.

    how would I do this? it would only be for a short stint like a year to pay off some debt that I otherwise cannot pay off fast.

    I am worried about him somehow recognizing my body even with blurred photos.

    I want to travel escort because I read that can make you treat money, but I don't know what to tell him when I'm gone

    we do not live together

    any tips for me? keep separate phone? wipe laptop constantly? what else??

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  3. #2
    Senior Member Dot's Avatar
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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    I want to escort as well, and im already having trouble keeping it from a few friends since i want to do it right. my friend is a lawyer and a photographer so im going to use him as my legal guy and to get some nice pics for my ads.

    point of me telling you that, FROM WHAT I GATHERED (not from experience), that to be a safe, successful escort you are going to have to do a lot more than have a separate phone and wipe your laptop. what are you do with the all the supplies? what are you gonna do when he wants to have sex and youre too tired/sore from having sex with other men?

    and in my POV, this is a HUGE secret. worse than cheating on him once or twice and not saying anything. dont set yourself up to be "that" ex girlfriend. if youre even considering keeping this a secret from him, even if for just a year(which is a long time) then the relationship is set for failure already. make a choice: what is more important to you? having a boyfriend or your financial independence/stability? i dont think its a good idea and i also think it will be too much work and stress trying to hide it.

    what about stripping? youll make cash quicker and some BFs are more accepting of stripping.


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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    Hrmm..well, if you dont live together, I cant imagine any reason he would be in your computer or any other personal effects. I definitely suggest keeping a separate phone, bf or no bf...keep your personal and business lives and contacts and information completely separate. Im weird I guess, in that Ive never dated...or even lived with a guy who I spent every single day with. I need my space and have always wanted and needed some time to myself, so if I were not in the city for a couple days at a time, any guy I was with wouldnt even notice.

    All that being said..Ive never been in this biz while also dating a guy. I wasnt doing this when I was in a relationship, and it wasnt til it was over that I started back to doing this again. That was my personal feeling, though, etc...my fear of if he knew it would be understandably over between us. Of course now looking back on all the sacrifices I made for our relationship, it wasnt worth. If I knew then what I know now, he wasnt worth it and I wish I had returned to escorting sooner instead of dating him. But thats only cause he turned out to be a jerk lol if he was a great guy and we actually had a future together, I wouldnt have looked back. So theres that...what does this relationship mean to you?

    Maybe instead of doing this behind his back, scale the relationship back a bit, tell him you need some time to focus on pulling your life together, youre getting a second job, and need to really work on that right now. That way, you are not lying to him or doing anything behind his back. As for being recognized..well..yeah thats a risk. Thankfully for me, all my exes (except this last one, hes a jerk) would be like wow, so thats what she does? Wild..okay. And that would be the end of that...but I tend to not date judgmental POS (sorry..still mad at my ex )

    Sidenote Dot...if you want to keep your business separate from friends, dont enlist a friend to help you in this business. No matter how well you know them...trust me, keep both lives completely and totally separate. If youre already having trouble with it now and you havnt even started, might be a good idea to take a step back and plan out what it is youre doing. This job is risky enough, dont make it riskier for yourself than it has to be.
    Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink!

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    ^Agreed about not telling anyone. ANYone. It only takes one person to out you completely.

    The only time I've ever escorted was when I was in a relationship. Keeping it a secret from my boyfriend really ate away at me, and I wish I either would never have done it, or would have broken up with him first. From a partner's perspective, it's much worse than cheating, because it's so heavily calculated and intentional. Think about what you're going to buy with your money... are you trading your boyfriend for credit card debt? It's likely to haunt you down the road, if you have a conscience.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    Just IMO he'll figure out & be upset. Not worth the blowback.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    And if you're going to do it behind someone's back, don't you dare engage in unprotected activities of any kind. Some girls are BBBJ friendly. The last thing you want is to catch something and pass it on to him.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    I know there are escorts out there that are married or have boyfriends. I think if you can't be open with him about this than you should break it off before you do this. I think doing this kind of thing behind someones back isn't healthy for YOU as well as your relationship. You will save yourself a lot of stress if you either don't have a boyfriend or have a boyfriend who understands that what you do for work isn't anything but a job.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    That is going to be very tough. I have a funny story about that, actually. So when I first started escorting, my best friend would ride along with me to outcalls to be my "security" She was out of work at the time, so I paid her to be my bodyguard/safety, since she had a live in fiance who wouldnt want her escorting. I was brand new to backpage at the time and I was SO BUSY. One day, as she watched me go from call to call and make a shit ton of money, she goes, "I just wanna do it one time, and make one big lump sum..."
    Well, she did it. and did it again, and again...she told her fiance that we had an escort agency, and that if she didnt go on those calls with those girls, that she would never get the money! She made up a whole character, "Adrina", who was doing eeeverything that she was really the one doing. I would pick her up from her house to come get ready at my room and she would have to hide her heels(we both thought that we had to dress like stereotypical prostitutes when we were brand new, yikes!) and hide any evidence of dressing up and she had to use a phone app for the calls. She was not able to hide it for long, because one day he went through her phone and figured out that it was actually her who was the escort. he freaked out at first, but due to the fact that he didnt have a job and they had to make money fast(bills, rent) he eventually just ssid "screw it" and started helping her write her ads and take pics, etc. Most guys would have probably dumped her, though. However, they did not last.

    So, yeah, I think it would be difficult, depending on the seriousness of your relationship/living arrangments.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    Quote Originally Posted by MailaMustang View Post
    II think if you can't be open with him about this than you should break it off before you do this.
    Bad idea. This is America. A lot of people aren't even comfortable talking about their vaginas in public.
    Breaking up with a man because he doesn't agree with you fucking strangers for money is dumb.
    Most people here are very conservative and don't want to "share" their partners.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    IMO life is just easier without all the hiding, stress & fear of revenge if a romantic partner finds out.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    Don't do it. If I had a boyfriend and he was escorting behind my back, I'd be pissed as hell. Without trust in a relationship, you have nothing. If this is someone you really love and seek a future with, talk to him about it and see if he'd be ok with it-don't just do it behind his back.






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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    I wouldn't recommend hiding it from him - either get rid of him, or get him on board.
    I hid it from a bf once, and believe me, it's a ton of stress and anxiety and then when they do find out it's even more drama.

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  22. #13
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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    If you can't/don't want to be honest about it, better not to do it. I first wanted to start escorting back when I was with my last bf, but he never would have gone for the idea, so I just went back to dancing for a little while. I started when we broke up about 6 months later, and while I definitely prefer escorting to dancing and wouldn't give it up for a new relationship now, I don't regret not doing it behind that guy's back when I was already in a committed relationship. When you say "short stint," if you were really talking about "I just need $2000 by such-and-such date for this really important thing," hmm.... I might understand more. But a year, while not exactly a career, isn't really a "short stint" either. You can still see a lot of clients in a year. That's a lot of risk and a lot of lying. Also, I know several escorts and dancers (myself included) who said "I'll just do this for like a year to pay off some debt," and now 3+ years later...

    No matter how sneaky you are, it is very difficult to consistently hide running off to appointments, even from someone who doesn't live with you. Friends that I eventually told about escorting were honestly not terribly surprised, because I was always "busy" at random times without a good explanation as to why. You can try to schedule all your appointments for specific days and times to mimic a "real job schedule," but that's going to be very difficult to pull off, as it's not only limiting, but what would you do with your time if you didn't fill it with appointments? IME, the only people I've hidden escorting from for a very long time were people who aren't super close friends and/or live far away. My schedule otherwise is too wonky for people to believe without suspicion.

    Dancing is faster initial money anyway. Is that an option? And I mean, debt sucks, but is it pivotal that you pay it off within the next year? If you're craving financial independence so much that you're willing to do this behind your bf's back, I think your financial security means more to you than the relationship anyway, so take that as you will. It's one thing to not mention a current escorting gig right off the bat to a potential new beau, but to start doing it behind someone's back unless you absolutely have no other way to get money that you need right this minute... ehhh...

    Morality aside, it's just going to be very difficult to pull off due to scheduling, especially if you're seriously considering travel escorting. People who are in your life enough to know your general schedule, even if they don't live with you, aren't stupid and are going to realize something is different. Unless you plan on doing at-home incalls only a couple times a week at hours when you know you would otherwise not be with your boyfriend cuz he's at work or something... either he'll notice that you're off somewhere more often or you'll be leaving a lot of potential money on the table.
    Last edited by Aurora_Sunset; 02-17-2017 at 08:32 AM.
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  24. #14
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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    To hell with a boyfriend lol.
    Dress to kill the wallet.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    Quote Originally Posted by Prettyglitter View Post
    To hell with a boyfriend lol.
    word. I didn't wanna be cynical, but chances are he will turn out to be a douche anyways, and you'll be glad you got that money/pissed off that you didn't.

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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    Honestly it really depends on the status of your relationship and what boudaries you guys have together.

    It's possible not to tell him but you are taking a huge legal risk in this , if something happens to you what is your plan to handle that. are you just going to ghost him or tell him you need a break. It could happen. many things can happen this line of work is no legal world wide and even the pplaces that are legal you can still get into trouble and then you have to consider the shift in your mental sex drive and your psychical sex drive.

    Some cam girls can't even handle being wiht thier S/o for being on webcam all day so how are you going to handle being with a client or two in a day then seeing your boyfriend.

    then is your guy detailed will he noticed a new dress or lingerie or even new make up. strange things have happened of guys picking up on something different my ex once noticed my blow jobs skills were different then my usual routine with him.

    IF you really think going down that is worth your relationship then go for it.
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    Default Re: This might be controversial.

    You can tell him that you want to try an open relationship with him for a while, to see how it goes. It can relieve you from the guilt as he's going to be able to see other girls as well. Then if you see other people, you don't need to tell him that they're paying you.

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