I tend to overthink about situations I can't control. I do not excel at school and I constantly worry about my grades. I've never made it on the dean's list and I'm okay with that. I just want to earn a B average in my classes but I don't. I was never an A student and never intended to be. I don't take my education seriously and wondering why I don't have a "real" job.
I consider myself an introvert & perfectionist. I don't pursue guys unless they pursue me. I go on dates with guys, stop talking to them, and still continued to stalk their social media profiles to see if I made the right choice. Then, I would get upset why they didn't chose me. Instead they chose a girl with more meat and not as attractive as I am. Yes, every single one of them got into serious relationships and I am still single. I know I am shallow that I would based everything on "looks". But at the end of the day, everyone's shallow in some ways. I refuse to sleep around because I'm afraid of pregnancy and STDS. I want to meet my prince charming, fall in love, and live happily ever after. I doubt that will ever be me. I really wish chivalry isn't dead and guys would treat their girls like princesses.
I also don't know what I want. I think I know but I don't. I rather stay single forever due to the fact that nothing lasts forever and I'm afraid of getting my heart broken. I've never had a serious relationship and I will be turning 26 in two months. I've been single majority of my life and is also super picky with guys. They have be decent looking, in good shape and middle class to upper class. I will not date a bum. I will also be fast to drop a guy that's abusive or not romantic enough. I've heard numerous stories how the girls at work would think it's okay that a "man" would put their hands on a woman.
I'm constantly eating at work because I'm afraid I'll faint if my blood sugar drops too low. My family doctor thinks I should see a psychiatrist to see what's going on with me. I still haven't made the appointment yet. I don't think anything's wrong with me except I tend to overthink and constantly worrying about situations I shouldn't be worrying about. If it wasn't for school, errands and work, I would never made it out the house. I don't really meet anyone. I have multiple dating profiles but I don't have anyone to talk to.



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