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Thread: Is this normal after a breakup?

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Is this normal after a breakup?

    So I just left a 2 & a half year relationship a week ago from this guy that ended up being both verbally & emotionally abusive to me (a few physical fights also). I felt addicted to him in some weird way even tho I wasn't really into him anymore, I'm assuming it was familiarity is why i stayed way longer than i should've. Anyhoo so since this break up I haven't really missed him like I did before when we broke up for 3 months about a year go & he was with someone else like right away as I was also. Instead I've found myself happier without his constant shit talking of my work (camming, sexting) & being independent having my own opinion & freedom aside from his.

    So ever since my new found freedom I've found myself slipping into old patterns such as going out clubbing & getting drunk finding cute guys I bring home & fuck them then discard them like newspapers. I'm having safe sex of course but I don't know what I'm wanting right now in terms of meeting someone new. I'm happy to be single but I can't help but end up slutting it up hardcore to fill a void of being alone now as well as enjoying the attention from guys he never gave me. Is this normal?

    Since the breakup I have been more productive & working more as well as saving in hopes to travel again & move away from where I am living currently. I no longer want him in my life thankfully bc it just hit me that he never ever enriched me or my life in any way, he was probably the most negative person I've ever known.

    Any of you going thru this or ever have?
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

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    Veteran Member persianprincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    I think it's just the relief of freedom again and getting out of something you knew deep down wasn't for you but habit/patterns wouldn't let you pull away from.
    After leaving my ex it was super normal for me to feel more bright and uplifted and to make a lot more plans, because basically our relationship was dragging me into a bad place. I think you are excited to be done with him.

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    Veteran Member Jupiter77's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    When I left my boyfriend of 6 years I slept with a bunch of guys like it didnt matter. My husband now was actually a post breakup booty call lol

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Lol at fucking them then discarding them like newspapers.

    Yes! I was with a narcissist for motherfucking 6 weeks and it felt like years! I HAD to ditch his ass because he started becoming too pessimistic, too critical, too demanding / self centered, and too cheap. I can't deal with a "mans" baggage for zero dollars so I bounced as soon as he said he wouldn't take me on dates anymore and still expected me to fuck his brains out every day. Nope! What you don't know but gon find out quick is that this pussy cost bitch!!!!

    Sometimes you just gotta do you. And never look back because they always come slithering back it's just do you really want to back peddle or move on to bigger and better?
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    Featured Member ScarletKitten's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    I went celibate for like 2 months after breaking up from the last guy I dated. Since then I've had casual sex with 2 different guys. I fucked them once and never saw them again. I might do it again when I get the urge.

    Yeah, it's probably normal. If it wasn't does it really matter? What's "normal" anyway? Is there anything wrong with it? No, as long as you use protection. Call me a whore, I don't give a fuck.

    I really should not post after smoking weed.
    Last edited by ScarletKitten; 03-11-2017 at 01:39 AM.

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    OMG I love all the replies I got LoL I'm so happy to be done letting some jerk drag me down esp since he was a loser with no job. He even admitted to me 2 weeks ago before the breakup that he wasn't even into me anymore & honestly I think he's felt that way for awhile now but would keep me around just to project his negativity on them. I'm loving being a "whore" LoL , I love the attention I get from these random guys I find hot bc it boots my self esteem & energy. It's funny bc I met up with an old former flame last night at the bar & ended up leaving him there to run off with another much hotter guy LOL , like he srsly was a buzzkill so I saw another hottie & bounced. You guys are right, I should just do me bc honestly that's what guys do to us anyway on their end & usually don't end up giving a fuck about women so fuck em.
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

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    God/dess xxxGothBarbie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Quote Originally Posted by miss.a.p1600 View Post
    Lol at fucking them then discarding them like newspapers.

    Yes! I was with a narcissist for motherfucking 6 weeks and it felt like years! I HAD to ditch his ass because he started becoming too pessimistic, too critical, too demanding / self centered, and too cheap. I can't deal with a "mans" baggage for zero dollars so I bounced as soon as he said he wouldn't take me on dates anymore and still expected me to fuck his brains out every day. Nope! What you don't know but gon find out quick is that this pussy cost bitch!!!!

    Sometimes you just gotta do you. And never look back because they always come slithering back it's just do you really want to back peddle or move on to bigger and better?
    Ya mine fit this bill too ugh! So worthless! Wouldn't stop drinking & try to get his life together long enough for anyone let alone himself. He also had "mommy dearest" with him to coerse him into not moving away with me or get his life on track. All she did was give him money everynight to get wasted & come home in a drunken rage yelling at her & his dad (who was also a waste of skin). Every holiday that came around he'd promise to treat me yet he thought getting his measly fucking $40 for dinner was enough to treat me, when i'd end up having to leave the tip or cover some of it bc he'd order the most expensive thing before I'd order.

    I'm just glad he doesnt have any emotional power over me anymore & I''ve finally got my clarity & am ready to move on.
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    This is self confidence loss after an abusive relationship. I have been through this more than once. You may not even realize it yet and you may even think you are fine but by the way your behavior sounds it definitely sounds like the relationship did some damage. Its ok to be single and have fun but you sound a lot like me after abusive relationships. Sex, drinking, drugs. You have some deep rooted emotional issues by doing those things l by the way you sound. Look into therapy and take it slow before jumping into a new relationship or the same types of relationships will continue.

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Quote Originally Posted by MiraMichele View Post
    This is self confidence loss after an abusive relationship. I have been through this more than once. You may not even realize it yet and you may even think you are fine but by the way your behavior sounds it definitely sounds like the relationship did some damage. Its ok to be single and have fun but you sound a lot like me after abusive relationships. Sex, drinking, drugs. You have some deep rooted emotional issues by doing those things l by the way you sound. Look into therapy and take it slow before jumping into a new relationship or the same types of relationships will continue.
    I don't do drugs nor binge drink really. I'm also not looking to get into another relationship right away, I'm just having fun.
    "Don't go mistaking paradise for a pair of long legs"

    "Respect is a dying art"

    "Philosophy is the talk on a cereal box"


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    Featured Member seashell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    I don't know if "normal" is ever a good word to use... but yes, it's common to have rebound dating/sex, and to explore life as an independent person again.

    After my 4 1/2 year relationship ended, I went on a TON of dates, kissed some guys, fucked some guys, left the country for a few months, tried out a few different jobs... basically, spent the past year soul-searching. The guys sometimes dragged me down, but the traveling was 100% worth it. Now I've slowed down in the dating world, and am trying to focus more on work. So I think some post-breakup craziness is common, but you're likely to get tired of it eventually and segue back into normal life. There's only so much drama and change that a person can take.

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    It just depends if what you do is really working for you. If it is, enjoy!

    I may agree though with the other poster about shaken confidence. Maybe it's just temporary too! Could even be boredom from not having company around you often.

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    ........
    Last edited by AuroraJade; 04-16-2017 at 10:48 AM. Reason: privacy

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Do what you want to do - you have no one to answer to. Don't analyse it, just have fun. If you notice it becoming destructive then stop and take note. After I ended my sexless marriage I fucked and I fucked a LOT!!!! With EVERYONE!!! I needed that and now I'm in a serious relationship with one of my booty calls and have been for over 2 years. It's totally different to my last relationship and much more what I deserve than that narcissistic, emotional bully, waste of space ever was.

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Yes it's normal....
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVsr...k&spfreload=10
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    It's very normal. The only potential issue is that a lot of people who do the lots of meaningless sex, trying to fill a void thing at the end of a relationship end up falling back into bad patterns. They get sick of the meaningless hookups and start to miss the relationship they left - justifying to themselves that "Oh, he wasn't that bad; at least he was stable; at least I had someone to come home to every night; at least I knew I what I was getting" - so they either end up back in the shitty relationship or repeating the same type of relationship with someone else for the sake of escaping the meaningless hookups they've gotten sick of.

    As long as you are just enjoying yourself, but are willing to take a step back if you find yourself starting to think about going back to the guy or settling just because you become tired of hooking up after awhile, you'll be fine. Enjoy your freedom!
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    I personally see no problem with getting your fuck on- ESPECIALLY since you've been safe. Being unsafe is a problem. Don't beat yourself up for it, it's cool...you even said yourself you've been more productive. It's your pussy, your life. What exactly is the problem?

    A dude wouldn't be asking this question that's for sure. The problem is probably female oppression- society makes women feel bad for liking sex.

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Yeah totally normal post breakup behavior

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Quote Originally Posted by JoBee View Post
    I personally see no problem with getting your fuck on- ESPECIALLY since you've been safe. Being unsafe is a problem. Don't beat yourself up for it, it's cool...you even said yourself you've been more productive. It's your pussy, your life. What exactly is the problem?

    A dude wouldn't be asking this question that's for sure. The problem is probably female oppression- society makes women feel bad for liking sex.
    A dude would be so busy high-fiving himself he couldn't type
    Last edited by Bahuba; 04-03-2017 at 10:33 PM.
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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    This is completely normal... See the train why you are even questioning it is because by societies standards we all know what you would be labeled. Fuck what society wants and thinks lol. You are rediscovering yourself and should not feel bad or wrong, or even ashamed of your actions.

    I just ended a very long tell relationship. I look forward to having a few partners when the time is right! I am still healing but why should I feel bad about wanting to fulfill my own needs?

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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    It's normal to feel better after a breakup and fish a bit in the ocean. Also healthier than moping about someone who treated you like shit. However the thing about "discard them like newspaper" and teasing your old flame just to disappoint him and run off with a hotter guy? Go have fun in good spirit but make sure you're not taking out any unsolved resentment towards the rest of the male population who had nothing to do with your ex. You don't want to become like the very shitbag you left behind.


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    Default Re: Is this normal after a breakup?

    Quote Originally Posted by xxxGothBarbie View Post
    So I just left a 2 & a half year relationship a week ago from this guy that ended up being both verbally & emotionally abusive to me (a few physical fights also). I felt addicted to him in some weird way even tho I wasn't really into him anymore, I'm assuming it was familiarity is why i stayed way longer than i should've. Anyhoo so since this break up I haven't really missed him like I did before when we broke up for 3 months about a year go & he was with someone else like right away as I was also. Instead I've found myself happier without his constant shit talking of my work (camming, sexting) & being independent having my own opinion & freedom aside from his.

    So ever since my new found freedom I've found myself slipping into old patterns such as going out clubbing & getting drunk finding cute guys I bring home & fuck them then discard them like newspapers. I'm having safe sex of course but I don't know what I'm wanting right now in terms of meeting someone new. I'm happy to be single but I can't help but end up slutting it up hardcore to fill a void of being alone now as well as enjoying the attention from guys he never gave me. Is this normal?

    Since the breakup I have been more productive & working more as well as saving in hopes to travel again & move away from where I am living currently. I no longer want him in my life thankfully bc it just hit me that he never ever enriched me or my life in any way, he was probably the most negative person I've ever known.

    Any of you going thru this or ever have?
    I went through a lot of this too, as you already know. It's normal love. <3 Enjoy life as a free woman.

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